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Don't kill yourself, please.

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Safe and Sound |Chapter 9|

Pairing: Hybrid!ot7 x f!reader

Chapter warnings: Jungkook has a bit of a breakdown and Y/n is there for him :(… looks like we found Yoongi’s secret..

Summary: You have worked at a hybrid rehab and adoption center for years, enjoying being able to help people others only see as their animal side. You thought you might end up taking in one or two, what you didn’t expect however, was to take in 7.

Genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut, non-idol au, hybrid au, strangers to friends to lovers au

Word count: 1.3k

Member’s hybrid types: Namjoon: Bear, Yoongi: Bobcat, Hoseok: Ferret, Jin: Wolf, Jimin: Red panda, Jungkook: Bunny, Taehyung: Marble fox

A/n: okay like, I know I’ve been posting a bunch, but like, I’m restless and my mind is flowing rn and the ideas won’t stop (I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I’m happy abt it) sooo yeah..don’t be surprised if I post more soon, or if I don’t. Whichever happens, I’ll let you guys know if I do get another writers block or something tho

Last - Next - Masterlist

You groan, shifting around on your bed. “Y/n!” A voice yells before you feel a body pounce on top of your own making you groan. You open your eyes, looking down at the shaking man on top of you through your bleary eyes. Your brows furrow, blinking in an attempt to make it go away. The first thing you can make out is long ears, then Jungkook’s tear stained face as he looks up at you for a moment before burying his head in your neck.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, wrapping your arms around Jungkook. “You passed out.” Dr. Martin mumbles, standing beside your bed with Hoseok. You remove an arm from Jungkook, opening it in Hoseok's direction. He immediately claims the opened spot, tucking his head into the other side of your neck. “What happened?” You ask, looking at Dr. Martin to the best of your ability. “The man uh tackled you and I think you hit your head pretty hard.” Dr. Martin mumbles, pursing his lips.

You hear a small growl from Hoseok and a whine from Jungkook as they push themselves closer to you. “Is he okay?” You ask, a frown settling on your face. “I think he’s fine, a doctor came in shortly after you went down and they sedated him..like we didn’t want to happen, but y’know, hybrids are ‘dangerous’.” Dr. Martin mumbles, mimicking air quotes. “Why are you worried about him? He hurt you.” Hoseok grumbles, rubbing his cheek on your shoulder.

You sigh, “Because someone hurt him like your old owner hurt you both.” You say, leaning your head on Hoseok’s, closing your eyes. Hoseok grumbles something you can’t quite decipher, but before you can ask you feel something wet hit your shoulder. “Hobi?” You ask, carding your hands through his hair with furrowed brows. “I was scared.” He mumbles, turning his head so you can hear him. “I’ll leave you guys alone. Call if you need anything.” Dr. Martin says, smiling at you before leaving your room.

Hoseok and Jungkook practically go limp on top of you, both letting out an exhale of relief. “You were out for a few hours.” Hoseok mumbles, pushing himself closer to you. You frown, you were out for that long? “I’m sorry I worried you both.” You say, hugging the two closer to you. You feel a fourth weight added to the bed, lighter than you, Hoseok and Jungkook. You lift your head to see your furry friend on the bed, looking at the three of you curiously. You smile, “C’mere kitty.” You call. The cat practically rushes forward, curling in a ball on your stomach as deep purrs vibrate in his chest.

“Did you feed him?” You ask, stroking the cat's fur as best as you can. Hoseok nods, petting the cat as well. The cat glares at Hoseok, shuffling away from him on your stomach. You stifle a laugh, pursing your lips making Hoseok glare at you, a large pout on his face. “Sorry, sorry.” You mumble, pulling the best straight face you can manage. “Alright you two, I gotta use the bathroom.” You say, patting Jungkook and Hoseoks backs gently before trying to move them.

Jungkook whines while Hoseok huffs, both pushing closer to you. “Do you want me to pee on you?” You ask. You laugh when both boys shoot off of you, pouting at you nonetheless as they stare at you with their arms crossed. “Sorry.” You mumble, your attention directing to the cat on your stomach. “You too, kitty.” The cat's eyes narrow at your words, his short tail doing a small flick. “Alright, gonna have to do this the hard way.” You mumble, reaching down to pick up the cat before plopping him on the bed beside you.

The cat grumbles before jumping off the bed, waltzing out of the room with a huff making you laugh. “I swear he acts just like a person.” You say, taking the blanket off of you before standing up with a groan. “Haha..yeah..” Jungkook says, awkwardly laughing afterwards while avoiding your eyes. You raise an eyebrow, “Is there something you’re not telling me?” You ask. Jungkook’s wide, panicked eyes meet yours (he’s never been good at hiding how he feels), quickly stuttering out an excuse. “N-no! I was j-just agreeing with you.” He says, quickly averting his eyes again.

“Okay. Spill.” You say, resting your hands on your hips. “There’s nothing to spill.” Jungkook mumbles, scratching his wrist, a tell tale sign he’s lying. “Uh-huh sure.” You say, turning to Hoseok. “Are you going to tell me or am I gonna have to do an interrogation with the two of you?” You ask. Hoseok sighs, “Your cat is a hybrid.” He says, nervously playing with his hands. “And you kept that from me, why?” You ask, genuinely confused why they would keep something so simple from you. “He’s scared of something. We could smell it on him.” Hoseok says, eyebrows drawing together.

“You still should have told me, especially if he’s scared.” You say, your own brows furrowing. “We’re sorry.” Jungkook mumbles, voice wavering slightly. “You don’t have to be sorry.” You say, taking a step toward Jungkook, only for him to take one back. “Jungkook?” You call out softly, taking a step back. His head whips up, eyes wide and full of panic as he stares at you. “I’m-I’m-I’m sorry. I d-didn't mean t-too.” He whimpers before he pinches his eyes shut. You look at Hoseok, taking another step away from Jungkook and sitting on the bed.

Hoseok sighs, sitting on the bed before scooching over to you. “He got most of the beatings from our old owner, I still got my fair share but he had it the worst between us.” Hoseok mumbles with a frown, looking back at Jungkook. “He especially didn’t like when we lied, that’s how we got our worst ‘punishments’.” Hoseok mumbles, looking down at his hands.

You frown, getting up from the bed before walking to Jungkook, pulling him into your arms before he can back away again. He jumps, pushing at you for a moment, but just as you’re about to let go, he wraps his good arm around your waist, sobbing into your shoulder. “‘M sorry.” Jungkook whispers into your shoulder, lightly dragging his cheek across it. “You don’t have to apologize, bun. You did nothing wrong.” You whisper, laying your head on his.

Jungkook only sobs harder at your words, pressing himself closer to you (if it’s even possible). You try to gently pull him back, succeeding fairly quickly. You don’t get a chance to look at his face, however, as he quickly shields it with his long, fluffy ears. “Can you look at me?” You call softly, maneuvering around his ears to cup his face. He shakes his head, a small whimper escaping him in the process.

“I don’t know what that man—that vile creature—made you think whatever you do think up in there,” You gently tap his head “But none of that is true. You’re an amazing person, Jungkook. Hybrid or not. I understand why you didn’t tell me about the cat, he’s scared. You were protecting him. From what? I don’t know. I don’t know if you even know. But you were protecting him.” You say, smiling slightly when his ears move from his face a bit, a single doe eye peeking at you. “I don’t care if that creature said lying is bad. If you’re doing it for the right reason, I wouldn’t say it is. And you were doing it for the right reason.” You say, pulling Jungkook back into your arms.

He exhales deeply, going completely limp against you. You reach up to gently card your fingers through his hair, laying your head on his. “Thank you, Y/n.” He mumbles, a sound akin to a purr rumbling in his chest. You only hum, letting your eyes slide shut as you ignore your bladders desperate pleas for you to use the bathroom, deciding to focus on the more important thing right now.

Comforting Jungkook.

Last - Next - Masterlist

A/n:

Series taglist:

@blancflms @dreamerwasfound @pettyandprettyy @watermelon2319 @yoongistangerine @danielle143 @canarystwin @catlove83 @joonie-tunes @staygirl1986 @singukieee

Permanent taglist:

@viankiss @lizzymizzy-blogg @teddymoon06 @rln-byg

If you are highlighted in bold you could not be tagged! And please lmk if I missed anyone or if you would like to be added <3

Safe and sound |Chapter Eight|

Pairing: Hybrid!ot7 x f!reader

Chapter warnings: angsty

Summary: You have worked at a hybrid rehab and adoption center for years, enjoying being able to help people others only see as their animal side. You thought you might end up taking in one or two, what you didn’t expect however, was to take in 7.

Genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut, non-idol au, hybrid au, strangers to friends to lovers au

Word count: 1.1k

Member’s hybrid types: Namjoon: Bear, Yoongi: Bobcat, Hoseok: Ferret, Jin: Wolf, Jimin: Red panda, Jungkook: Bunny, Taehyung: Marble fox

A/n: I would just like to say sorry for the ending in advance.

Last - Next - Masterlist

“Is he doing okay?” You ask Dr. Martin when he steps out of the room. “Not really, Y/n.” He mumbles with a sigh, rubbing his eyes tiredly. It’s already been maybe 5 hours, considering the man would not go down without a fight, no matter how many times you assured him, and would only calm down a little when you reminded him of what you’re required to do. “He’s gonna have to go to an actual hospital, his gash is just—” Dr. Martin sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If you wanna come along, you can, just don’t leave your boys home alone too long, yeah?” Dr. Martin asks, smiling at you tiredly. You nod, “Yeah of course. Will you text or call me and tell me what hospital he’s at? I’m gonna run home to them really quick.” You say, following Dr. Martin through the building and to the lobby. “Yeah. Now go home to your boys.” Dr. Martin says with a genuine smile, waving at you.

—

“I’m home!” You call out, not bothering to take your shoes off as you walk further into your home. “You’re back!” Jungkook almost yells, crashing into you making you groan. “I take it you missed me?” You ask with a small laugh, wrapping your arms around him. Jungkook nods vigorously, wrapping his good arm around your waist and resting his head in your neck. “You’re back!” Hoseok says with a large smile, walking over to you and Jungkook, wrapping his arms around the two of you. “Yeah..” You say, removing an arm from Jungkook to wrap it around Hoseok, pulling him close.

“What do you guys want to eat?” You ask, combing your fingers through Jungkook’s hair. “I don’t mind.” Jungkook mumbles, dragging his cheek along your shoulder. “Hoseok?” You question, looking at him. “I’m good with whatever too, Y/n.” He says with a smile. You hum, patting Jungkook’s shoulder and Hoseok's back before trying to pull them off you. Jungkook huffs, pressing himself closer to you while Hoseok backs off slightly, pulling your hand with him and intertwining his with yours. “If you wanna eat you’re gonna have to let me go, bun.” You say with a small laugh, trying to pull him away again.

He whines but moves away anyway, a large pout on his lips as he stares at you. “Sorry.” You say with a smile, ruffling Jungkook’s hair making him whine. You move to the kitchen, pulling out the needed items before starting on dinner.

—

“Y/n? Why aren’t you eating?” Hoseok asks, looking at you with furrowed brows. “I uh..I have to go back out.” You mumble, giving the boys an apologetic smile when they pout. “I’m sorry, this hybrid came in today and he just isn’t in good shape and he has to go to a hospital so I wanted to tag along to make sure he’d be okay.” You say, pursing your lips. “It’s okay.” Hoseok mumbles, his smile not quite reaching his eyes, “Work is work and you can’t avoid it.” He says, looking back to his food.

“When will you be back?” Jungkook asks, looking at you over Hoseok's shoulder with a large pout and—since when did he master puppy dog eyes?? “I’m not sure, bun. I won’t stay out too long, though. Promise.” You say, smiling at Jungkook, reaching over Hoseok to ruffle his hair. Jungkook nods, looking back to his food. “I’ll be back before you guys know it.” You mumble, standing up and making your way to the door. “Oh, and if you can, could you please feed the kitty?” You call over your shoulder, hearing a ‘yes’ from Hoseok in return.

And with that, you leave to head to the hospital.

—

“Hi, I’m looking for room 336?” You mumble to the desk clerk, checking your messages to make sure you have the correct room. “Oh the hybrid.” You look up at her with a raised brow at her words to see her roll her eyes. “Yeah, you just go down the hall on the left, take a right at the second hall and there should be an elevator. Take it to the third floor, obviously, since it’s 336, then go down the right hall and you’ll turn right down the hall that has the numbers 324-344.” She says, waving you off before going back to her phone.

“Bitch.” You mumble under your breath, sliding your phone into your pocket before making your way down the hall on the left.

—

“Y/n!” Dr. Martin calls with a wave, Mr. Dubose standing beside him. “Hey.” You say with a smile, waving at the two of them. “How is he?” You ask, your smile now gone as you nervously nibble on your bottom lip. “They’re gonna stitch him up and check for any infections.” Dr. Martin says, slumping back in his chair. “We’re still waiting for them to come back and actually help him.” Dr. Martin mumbles, massaging his temple.

You sigh, sitting down on the chair beside him. “If they still haven’t taken him back by the time I leave, please let me know when they do.” You say, hearing a small conformational hum from Dr. Martin. “How are the boys?” Mr. Dubose asks, looking at you with a smile. “They’re happy. I’m happy, too. I know it’s only their first day at my house but I’m really happy that they’re there.” You say with a smile. “That’s good.” Mr. Dubose says with a nod, turning back to his phone. You should really get the boys phones.

You slump back in your chair, your eyes sliding shut as you wait for a doctor to come and take the man. Your eyes fly open when you hear a crash coming from the room in front of you. The hybrid’s room. You look at Mr. Dubose and Dr. Martin, both of their eyebrows furrowed in concern as they stare at the door. You jump up, pushing the door open to see what had happened.

You see the man on the floor, shuffling through the scattered items on the floor frantically. “Stay away!” He yells, looking back at you. “Are you okay?” You ask, taking a cautious step closer. His posture is rigid and he’s breathing harshly, glancing between you and the items in front of him. He pulls out a scalpel suddenly, pointing it at you. “Stay away!” He yells out again, plastering himself against a nearby wall. “Please just..put it down.” You plead, sticking your hands out in front of you.

“Please put the scalpel down.” Dr. Martin says from beside you. The man lurches forward a bit making you and Dr. Martin back up a few steps. “Let me go!” He yells, shakily standing up, still pointing the scalpel in your direction. God where are the fucking doctors? “Please..put it down.” You plead again, taking a hesitant step forward. “Just back off!” The man yells, launching at you. You crash to the floor, a gasp leaving you before everything goes black.

Last - Next - Masterlist

A/n: ahaha..yeah..sorry

Series taglist:

@blancflms @dreamerwasfound @pettyandprettyy @watermelon2319 @yoongistangerine @danielle143 @canarystwin @catlove83 @joonie-tunes @staygirl1986

If you are highlighted in bold you could not be tagged so please dm me if you would still like to be on here! And please lmk if I missed anyone or if you would like to be added <3

cry me a river | the habits

— summary: you are a weapon and weapons do not weep

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, mafia!au

— word count: 6.4k

— warnings: physical abuse, violence, mentally unstable mindset

— PART 25 / previous post / masterpost

One.

Two.

Three.

The seconds will pass. The minutes will fly. The hours will go.

You’re alright.

Endure it. Endure it.

It will pass.

Everything will pass just as everything has always passed.

In time, father will raise his hand to indicate them to stop. A stop signal. He may leave the room out of boredom but he will return just as he always does in order to demand them to leave you alone. He will never be satisfied but there is always a limit to everything and father sometimes gets too bored to keep seeing it, to keep hearing it, so he’s always there to stop it.

Eventually.

Eventually.

You just have to endure it for now until the signal comes, until—

“What are you doing?!”

You didn’t realize it and perhaps that’s because you blacked out, your mind keeping you from feeling it all completely, trying to protect you, but you’re sitting on the ground when a call demands out an answer in a loud, commanding voice, and a rushing of a pair of feet running over to push Karl off you.

Asher punches Karl right in the face, throwing him off you, before demanding the guards he has with him to hold the man back.

“She provoked me!” Karl argues like a child in a kid’s play.

He’s never been abruptly stopped before. Always angry, never satisfied.

Nothing is ever enough when it comes to the two of them. 

Karl landing hurt through his fists and weapons and anything he can get a hand on. Your father landing hurt through his commands, watching and watching and watching.

And you, their victim, who has to stay down and accept it all until there is a small amount of satisfaction that calls at them to stop.

You always wait on that call, no matter how much endurance it takes.

“That doesn’t make it right to lay your hand on a woman!” Asher retorts with anger laced in his tone, and this anger, despite how different it is from that of Karl’s, still shakes you violently though you keep as still as ever, paralyzed.

Paralyzed.

Even when the anger does not fall on you, even when he does not turn to you but towards the companion who stands behind you, who had stood still this whole time. “And what are you doing? Your boss was getting hit and you just stood there?”

Yeonjun, with a snap on cue, kneels over to your side and looks down at you with widened eyes and a frozen expression. He doesn’t touch you right away, cautious, but you see what those eyes mean, you know exactly what that expression is telling you.

That he, too, had reverted back to the past.

When your father still lived, when he had to stand by and watch everything without moving a muscle.

He reverted back just as you had.

Two little kids, who're still affected by the traumas of the past.

Two little kids.

You take Yeonjun’s hand, giving him the permission to touch you, so he helps you back onto your feet and the two of you remain in silence as you walk off with his help, not daring to look Karl in the eyes, not caring to reply to Asher.

But you feel yourself trembling with the presence of a pair of eyes boring right into your back. Not from Asher or Karl or the two guards but from someone else.

The ghost of him.

Of that man.

That man named father.

.

.

.

“Y/N?” There’s concern in Jungkook’s voice when you walk into the room and you guess that’s probably because of the state you’re in, but right now you can’t entertain him so you simply hold a hand up, asking him to stay back, and Jungkook, though worried, leaves the room on your behalf.

When you’re left alone with Yeonjun, you let your legs give in to sit on the floor rather than finding a chair or taking a seat on the bed.

The floor is comfortable. It’s always been more comfortable.

The boy takes your heels off, along with your jacket, and despite the sting of the pain that aches over your body, the only thing on your mind is the fact that you let it happen so easily, that you allowed yourself to walk back into that state of being an obedient and perfect little doll.

You reverted back to the damages just when you thought after father’s death, you wouldn’t let anyone walk over you anymore.

But it isn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

And it will never be easy.

Father still lives in your head rent free and there’s nothing you can do about it. No matter how much time has passed, nothing will change. It’s already been a little over a year since his death but he’s still here, still thriving, mocking you, taunting you, controlling everything that you are.

You’re shaking, trembling, not just out of fear but out of anger. Angry at yourself. For being so weak, for reverting back, for thinking things could get better.

And with Yeonjun the only one here with you at the moment, you lean into his touch and let yourself into his arms to allow the sort of warmth only your Reapers can provide you.

Yeonjun’s heartbeat won’t be the same as Mingyu’s, it’s probably even beating rapidly right now, so you don’t let your ear rest against his chest and instead wrap your arms over his neck and climb into his lap to lay your cheek against his shoulder.

Yeonjun brings his hand over to rub down your back but he’s a little awkward and unsure because he’s never really had to do this; comforting you. It’s always been Mingyu, and if Mingyu wasn’t there, it’d be Yuna, and if Yuna couldn’t do it, it’d be Dasom, or someone else.

Anyone else.

He’s only a kid after all, just eighteen years old, the youngest of your Reapers, but because no one else is here, he does his best to pick up the role that’s been given unto him.

Yet you feel him tremble slightly himself and you guess that in some way, he must be afraid as well.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to you. “I didn’t…I…”

You know what he’s trying to say, that he failed you, that he couldn’t protect you. But can you really blame him? Because just as you’ve been trained to endure through the pains and take everything that’s given unto you, Yeonjun, the Reapers, were trained to stand by and watch.

Habits are scary.

Frightening.

And because you don’t know how to console him and he doesn’t know how to console you, the two of you remain in silence simply holding onto one another.

Just two little kids having to rely on each other.

Just two little kids.

And after a little while, when things have settled a little more, when he starts shaking a little less, Yeonjun gathers himself and forces himself out of the state he’s in.

He stands up and you watch him leave for a second, not too long, because he rushes, and returns with materials in hand to begin tending to you. It remains as quiet as ever between the two of you, but you see the way his brows furrow in concentration and he stops himself from staying in the mindset of a teenager.

Of a child.

He becomes an adult, a reliable adult. For you. Applying what’s needed on the bruises that have swelled up, wrapping your arm with bandages, and when you frown with disgust at the sight of the white wrapping on you, wanting it off, complaining, he doesn’t fall into your trap and stands his ground just as he’s seen Mingyu do plenty of times.

Yeonjun gets frightened of you at times but he always listens to your every command and does all that you ask him within a heartbeat, but today he grows a pair of wings and knocks you lightly on the head with his knuckles when you try to push him away, when you get stubborn with him.

“Do you want to die?” You glare at him but he doesn’t give in.

“You can kill me after I treat you,” he says and continues his ministrations.

“I hate it,” you tell him. “I don’t like it, this…this white.” You try to scratch at yourself but he grabs your hand before you can and your face scrunches up with anguish. “Get it off me.” 

You tug the pearls on your neck and it scatters onto the floor but you don’t care and move on to the white dress, yet Yeonjun stops you once more.

“You’ll hurt yourself.”

“I’m not weak.”

“I never said you were.” And because he knows the signs, because he’s seen it plenty of times in you, he grabs the sleeve, rips it, then the hem of the dress, and tears that as well without doing too much. “See? Look. Imperfect.” You hate perfect things and seeing that, the tears of the dress, alleviate a bit of your drumming heartbeat, so Yeonjun grabs a pair of scissors to start cutting off bits of your dress.

All your life you’ve been told to be perfect, that everything you do must be under the command of your father. He made you into his perfect little doll, his perfect little weapon, prepared you for the battlefield, prepared you for war.

For the war that he brought, for the war that was his.

Or rather, he was the war itself.

You are a weapon, and weapons do not weep. Weapons are used and weapons do not run off on their own. Weapons are perfect, they fire at the command of their owner, they’re silent when told, and left to waste if they do not do their job.

You’ve never wanted to be left to waste, you’ve never wanted to be dropped back into an empty room, the White Room, and never picked up again.

“I look broken,” you utter a whisper as if shocked at the image of yourself when you look down at the mess of your dress and the white bandages on your body. Your brows are knitted, teeth grinding on each other, fingers dug into the skin of your palm, eyes red but as always, they refuse to cry.

Because weapons do not weep.

And Yeonjun, for a second, almost panics, thinking he did something wrong, but in Mingyu’s wise words, “Just because it looks like I know what I’m doing when it comes to boss does not mean that is the truth. It is far from the truth. There are times when it feels like I’ve messed up, times when I’m about to panic because she responds differently from what I imagined, but you cannot ever show her that you do not know what you’re doing. Ever. Just pretend when you’re in that position, and if you’re good at pretending, she won’t know a thing,” Yeonjun quickly pulls himself back up.

“You don’t look broken,” he puts the scissors down and takes your two trembling fists. “You look imperfect.”

You look imperfect.

Imperfect.

It does the trick.

He sees the way the crease between your brows starts to soften, how your clenched jaw loosens, the way you let him help your fingers unravel from the strength they held digging into yourself, and how your shoulders fall a bit from being so hunched up.

“I look imperfect?” You ask him, eyes wide and puppy-like, darting right to him and though they shake slightly, they look towards him for an answer, for reassurance, to detect any lie, to seek for the truth. But also pleading, also begging for him to say just that.

Even if the lie must disguise itself as the truth.

“You do,” so Yeonjun lies skillfully. “You look imperfect, boss.”

There’s a breath of relief, quiet and subtle, and it comes in a whisper just barely there. Yeonjun keeps you close and presses a palm to your chest, just where your heartbeat strums.

“Now count,” he tells you. “Mingyu says counting is good, right? Count until he gets here.”

“Is he coming?” You ask when he takes both your hands to take over where his palm once lay.

“Yes,” he lies again. He hasn’t made the call yet. “Soon.”

“You have to stay here.”

“I will.”

“No one can come in.”

“I know.”

“Don’t talk to him, don’t let Karl anywhere near me.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

“I’m tired.”

“Alright, come here.” He pulls you in carefully into his lap, in his arms, and you let yourself be warmed and comforted in his arms once more, this time with your back pressed to his chest.

“I don’t want to sleep,” you tell him. “The nightmares…they’ll come. He’ll come. He’ll visit. And he’ll try to make me perfect all over again.”

He. Your father.

“I don’t want to be perfect.” It isn’t a command, it’s a plea. A desperate cry for help.

“Then don’t sleep. But count the heartbeats, yeah? Count.” The soft lure of his voice, gentle, encouraging.

With hands still pressed against your chest, you let your ear tune out everything else in order to hear the beat of your heart so that you can start counting them.

One. Two. Three…

It’s fast and you know that you can’t completely count every individual one of them but you try your best to simply concentrate on only that while your eyes stare out at the window a few feet away. The sun shines brightly from the opened curtains and there’s a small little bird perched on the closest tree.

It jumps onto a branch and rests there with its head moving about in different directions.

There are pretty white clouds up above and one of the bigger ones shapes like a castle and you imagine fairies up there, hiding.

There’s another cloud that looks like a cat and another one shaped like a ghost.

The wind blows and your eyes turn back to the bird that flies off.

Thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five…

It’s slowing down, just slightly.

.

.

.

“I heard what happened this afternoon.”

Kiwi keeps you distracted as he nibbles with your finger. You can’t recall when he’s decided to hang around you rather than his own master whenever you’re around but at least it gives you a reason to not look someone in the eyes.

“Would you like to tell me what happened from your perspective?”

Thirty-something years old. You can’t even remember just how old you are but lately, it hasn’t mattered in the slightest because you feel much younger than what you actually are. Like you’re twenty-something. Even a teen. It doesn’t feel like you’ve aged much.

Your birthday hasn’t been celebrated since your time at the Bangtan manor but it doesn’t really matter. Nothing really matters.

Because you feel like a kid back under the control of your father, having to do what you’re told, obeying his every command like someone who can’t do anything on her own.

Under scrutiny.

“What did Karl tell you?” You pop a question of your own, eyes still unfocused, mind still trying to pretend you’re fine, that you’re okay in a room full of strangers.

There’s only one stranger but a stranger nonetheless.

“He said you provoked him.”

“That’s right.” You don’t deny it and instead nod, expression blank so that Alexander cannot tell what’s going on inside your head. And maybe he does, maybe all of this faking is futile because he’s so wise, but you don’t care. You keep still, you keep vague, and you remain cold.

“Is that so…?” He trails off, perhaps thinking, and you can feel his eyes never leaving you. “And what was it that you did to have provoked him?”

“I told him something he didn’t like.”

“And what’s that?”

“That I killed his best friend.”

“And did you?”

“I did.”

“And who was that?”

“My father.”

He pauses, perhaps because he hadn’t expected that answer but you’re sure he’s thinking back on the moment when you first mentioned your father to him. The “story” you gave him was that your father passed away and was a good friend of Karl’s, though you never mentioned anything else about it. 

And now here’s the answer; you killed him yourself.

“Is that why you let Karl do what he did?” He asks you. “Because you thought you deserved the punishment for what you did? Some people may not regret their actions but they’ll let the person most affected do something against them. Was that how it was?”

No.

No, not at all.

You didn’t let Karl hurt you because you knew he’d be hurt by what you did. You didn’t let him hurt you because you thought he at least deserved to lash his anger out on you. Or that you felt bad. Or that you wanted some sort of punishment. Or that you were repenting.

You let Karl hurt you because you’d always let him hurt you, just as you’d always let everyone hurt you.

Because that was how it always was.

A habit.

Being the weaker one, being the one who would chant the words endure, endure because that was what was instilled in you from the moment Mister Butler died. You cannot get out of your habits that easily, you do not just get stronger because you vow to yourself you will.

You don’t just get stronger and you certainly don’t just decide ‘I won’t let anyone step over me anymore’ and succeed on the first try.

Or the second try.

Or the third.

Even the tenth or hundredth time.

You let Karl hurt you because you were used to it and your body, remembering how it always was before your father died, returned to those habits.

The habits of staying still, the habits of enduring all that came at you.

“Yes.” But you lie because what else is there to say? You lie because there is nothing else to say. Because you don’t want to tell the truth. Because the truth means explaining and explaining means opening up and opening up means trusting and trusting never ends well.

You lie because you have to.

“That is all there is to it.” You put Kiwi down onto the floor and stand up straight, making sure to look in the old man’s direction with your hands held together in a formal stance. “Karl’s story is the whole truth. I deserved what he did, for killing his best friend, for killing my father.”

His brows are furrowed and you sense doubt in his eyes but because he has no proof and because you’re not willing to share anything else with him, he can’t push you too hard about the matter. “Whether that is the truth or not, do you really think a man much older and bigger has the right to hurt a woman younger and smaller in stature? No–” he fixes his sentence, “do you think a man is in his right to hurt a woman?”

“A man is capable of hurting anything that he wishes to hurt. He is in the power to do so.”

“You are strong, Y/N.” He stands to meet your eyes, serious, calm, and collected, but there’s a little twitch in his brows to indicate that he feels a bit frustrated by the situation. “You are capable of dodging his attacks. Even if a man were much bigger and stronger than you, you have the brains to outsmart them. You don’t look like someone who will easily let someone else step all over you.”

No. You are exactly just that. You are still the little girl you thought had changed. You’re still weak.

“So I’ll ask you again, Y/N; why did you let Karl hurt you?”

You hate feeling caged in and right now, despite the fact that only Alexander stands in this room, you feel eyes from all over. And maybe that’s just you being paranoid, maybe you’re just making it all up in your head, but you hate every bit of it. 

Every bit of this.

“I gave you my answer, take it with a grain of salt. Do not pretend to be on my side.” And with that, you turn your back to him and walk off without another word.

Alexander doesn’t chase after you but you feel his eyes.

It’s ironic the way you’re supposed to be the one trying to gain his favor and yet this happens; you pushing him away and putting up your walls. And Asher makes sure to remind you of that.

“Isn’t the whole point of you being here to gain his favor?”

He stops you in the middle of the hall when you’re heading back to the guest room.

“Why?” He asks, genuinely curious, maybe even with a bit of genuine concern in that tone.

“Maybe I’m tired,” you say in a quiet voice.

“Of?”

“Of trying to be likable.”

He hums, considering the answer with his arms crossed over his chest and leaning against the wall. “And that young bodyguard of yours,” he brings up Yeonjun, “he may be a kid but don’t you think he deserves punishment for failing you?”

“No.” You reply easily and Asher raises a brow.

“You won’t punish him?”

“I don’t blame him.”

He watches you as if you were a strange being, like you weren’t making sense, though there’s a bit of unease that marks his features, some sort of disturbance that troubles his thoughts and you realize that you’ve said too much so you start walking again.

“My people aren’t allowed to act unless I tell them to.”

But Asher doesn’t want to leave it with just that. “You wanted my uncle to hurt you?”

“Nobody wants to get hurt willingly, Asher.”

“Then what is it?”

You’re talking too much.

“It is none of your concern, that’s what it is.” With that, you pick up your steps and walk into the room before he can push you any further.

Jungkook is in there when you walk in, and although being left in a room with just him should trigger some sort of response, surprisingly you don’t tremble that easily and perhaps that’s due to the fact that somehow, in some way, your body just knows that Jungkook doesn’t pose any threat to you. Perhaps because somehow, in some way, you’ve learned to put some trust in him in just the slightest way through the times he’s spent acting as your guard.

It’s been a little over a month.

Mingyu came here prior to your meeting with Alexander and surprisingly you didn’t need him as much as you thought you did. You think that’s because Yeonjun managed to calm you down well, despite his perpetual fear in the beginning. He picked himself up in time, after all, and was there for you by mirroring what Mingyu would have done.

Maybe in some ways, your right hand man has trained all the Reapers in how to respond to you when he isn’t around.

He took Yeonjun away for something, though right now you aren’t too concerned about it.

“..Kook.”

You feel tired, you feel drained, and that’s why you’ve managed to only call Jungkook by a shortened name.

He’s responsive at the first call, despite how quiet your voice is, and when he sees that you’ve given him permission to come in close contact with you, he doesn’t hesitate to walk over to you.

“Do you need something?”

It’s odd the way you feel some sort of relief he’s as responsive as he used to be all those years ago. Maybe because a part of Jungkook will always remain the way that he always was, maybe that’s why you’ve learned to associate him with a figure that you can put a bit of trust in.

“When are they coming?”

“They?” He tilts his head and when you reach a hand out towards him, he takes it in order to help you because you feel your legs are weak in the knees.

“Namjoon. Them.” He takes you to the bed so that you can lie down.

“In a month or so,” he replies. “You said as much time as you need to gain Alexander’s favor but the latest would be in a month.”

You’re already winning so what’s the point in waiting? 

It’s been a month, over a month.

You just want to go home already.

“Can you call him?”

Jungkook looks for his phone. “What for?”

“Tell him to come earlier,” you say, body turned over towards him, cheek against the pillow, eyes drowsy. “In a week. I don’t…Karl has…I want him dead.”

For a second his thumb hovers over his phone to look back over at you and there he finds, the little girl he’s seen holding her walls up so high not even a plane can cross over, beginning to crumble in just the slightest way.

You look exhausted.

The makeup does not hide the bags under your eyes, it doesn’t hide the exhaustion, how drained you are over all of this. And maybe a part of that is due to your insisting to stay awake when you needed sleep but a big part of it is the mission itself.

Every mission is a little different from the other, but Jungkook has come to know that every one of them involves someone who has sucked all that sweet girl energy out of you. They’ve all done you wrong and it can’t be easy. It can’t be easy having to face all of them one by one, trying to deal with it all, trying to rid of them, and ultimately as a result, hurting yourself in the process.

“Kook?” Your eyes went closed for a second but upon his silence, you open them up again in order to look up at him, and due to your exhaustion, he finds the pretty girl he once loved all those years ago with the smallest voice as if calling out for him in a sense of help.

“I-I’ll call.” He’s flustered, slightly, but hits the call button with his thumb and walks towards the bathroom. “Stay awake, alright? I won’t be away for too long.”

He closes the door behind him to start looking around for something just as Namjoon picks up on the other end.

“Jungkook?”

“Y/N wanted me to tell you to come earlier.”

“Earlier?” It’s surprising on his end because just the night before, you told him to stick to the original plan. “Did something happen?” Of course something must’ve happened for you to change your mind so quickly.

In some ways you’re just as stubborn as he is, so he knows you aren’t someone who will change your mind that easily.

“This afternoon, uh…” Jungkook hesitates, not sure if it’s okay to relay him the news but something tells him you probably expect Jungkook to not stay silent about it to the boys. They share everything with each other after all, and if you really cared, you wouldn’t have let him anywhere near you after what happened. “Karl, you know, after touching her when she felt uncomfortable?” He did mention the incident a few weeks ago to Namjoon already. “Well, Y/N took up his invitation to tea in order to catch up and stuff and I assume she pissed him off.”

Somehow, Namjoon expected that. After all, you hinted at doing something reckless during your call with him. 

“I’m not sure what happened exactly because I wasn’t there but Karl hit her.”

“What?” There’s some shuffling on the other end. “What do you mean hit her?”

“Not just once. She has bruises as a result.”

“Bruises?”

“I should get back to her, she might fall asleep but I’ll catch up with you later.” He doesn’t wait for Namjoon’s reply before cutting the call off and returning to your side out of worry that leaving you alone for too long won’t be good, and the fact that you might have actually fallen asleep on him.

Surprisingly you’re still awake, though your eyes are as droopy as they were when he left you.

“Can you turn over on your back?” Is the first thing he asks of you and you obey, turning over. The bed dips a little when he takes a seat beside you and that’s when you feel he begins to take your lashes off.

“You know there’s a lot of processes that go into taking off makeup, right?” You tell him when he takes the other one off.

“I know, bub, I’ve done it before.”

Right.

He’s helped you before.

“So just stay still, yeah? You don’t have to do anything.”

You listen to the lure of his voice, as soft as the way he used to speak to you all those years ago, and let your eyes close as he begins to swipe the makeup wipe over your face. It’s gentle the way he does it, almost as gentle as Dasom, and although he’s a little clumsy and isn’t as fast as she is, he does his best during it all.

When the makeup wipe is done, you feel your hair pushed back and a band coming over to keep it out of the way, then some sort of cloth on your chest and tied behind your neck.

Warm water walks over your face. Bits of it, not too much, not too little, so that you don’t get too wet anywhere else, and then the feel of soapy foam begins to rub in circles all over your face. The massage feels nice and you almost feel your consciousness slipping away but you keep awake to the touch of Jungkook’s hands.

About a minute later, he soaks a washcloth into water and starts to wipe the cleanser off you so that you don’t have to sit up and wash it off with water yourself.

It takes a moment but eventually, he gets it done, and then you feel a wet cotton pad swipe over next.

Something about all of this, the steps he memorized either for you from the past or the fact that he now does it himself regularly, feels rather domestic and just…soft.

And in your sleepy and tired state, you feel anything but uncomfortable, lured in with the feeling of basking on top of clouds with your head bathing under the warm sun with light little pitter patters of rain sprinkling over you.

You don’t know why you enjoy this so much despite how different it feels from when Dasom does it for you, but knowing that your trust is beginning to leak outside of Reapers somehow brings a sort of comfort you never thought you’d feel.

It’s a little frightening because trusting is always scary, especially for people that had once broken it, but for some reason, it just…feels right.

Somehow.

And maybe that’s because you know they were never at fault in the first place, that they were just forced into making an unwanted decision. 

Jung Hoseok would probably be in the same position as they were were he to realize the truth all those years ago. If he hadn’t gotten hurt on that mission. If he hadn’t been forced to lay on the infirmary bed in order to recover. If he hadn’t stood away from the six of them.

Even still, as you’ve said it plenty of times before, just because someone doesn’t mean them doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt.

In the safe space that they provided you, you were kicked out of your own comfort and forced to return to the hell you thought you had escaped.

“Why do you not cry?” His voice keeps you awake and when you look up at him through your lashes, eyes feeling quite dreary and heavy, he finds himself pausing in his ministrations as he stares down at you who’s looking up directly at him.

“Why do you ask that?” You return a question, voice just as soft.

Jungkook’s eyes trail down your face. “Karl…he…” he didn’t see what happened but the aftermath of it is right before his eyes. “And Leehyun and…..” He presses his lips together. “You have..so much to cry for.”

“...Do I now?”

“Is there nothing left?” He asks, a hand brushing back small strands of hair that tries to block your eyes.

You don’t nod because you’re too tired to move so you nod through a blink. “It’s all dried up.”

From the water that he used to clean your face, a drop falls from your lash and trails down your cheek, mirroring what a teardrop looks like, and then you say, “But…if I knew how to cry……do you think you deserve to see them?”

He doesn’t reply but you have your answer.

He doesn’t feel worthy.

This Jungkook and the Jungkook you once knew long ago are the same in the way they always feel unworthy of something. No matter how many times you can assure him, he will always think there is something he can do better, that he is undeserving, that he can never be enough.

But unlike idiots who simply say “I don’t deserve you” and go about their days after breaking your heart, Jungkook says it and steps up to do what he can to try and prove to himself that he can be someone deserving.

He always did all that he could and when there came a point when he looked as if he could finally come to terms with being at peace with his love for you, it was ripped away from him all too soon and now he’s back to square one, trying to prove himself.

Even if it isn’t in the form of love.

Jungkook will always care.

But even still,

“I still hate you.”

It comes out soft, it comes out quiet, and a little timid and a little brave, but you hadn’t meant for it to come out.

If you were wide awake, if you weren’t in such a vulnerable state, you would have never spoken those words to him. But because your consciousness is on the verge of slipping away, you speak them out loud for him to hear.

“I know.” And he replies in the same voice, the same softness, quiet, and timid, and brave.

He doesn’t leave your side even after those exchanges uttered unto each other and you fall asleep next to his presence, next to his comfort, next to his warmth.

.

.

.

Jungkook wasn’t there when Taehyung said he witnessed you sleepwalking but he said that it wasn’t the sort of sleepwalking you’d see in a normal person. He said you looked like a ghost more than anything, and that at times, you’d just stand still in the middle of the room and not move an inch.

No, not a ghost. A corpse.

And now here he is, after endless refusal to sleep and finally allowing your eyes to stay closed, he witnesses what Taehyung had meant.

A corpse standing still in the middle of the room, blanket over her shoulders, eyes staring up at the dim sky outside the window, blank and without any hint of life in them.

He watches you from a distance, a furrow in his brows, with his tongue bitten back and his fists clenched by his side.

Subtle anger lies in his heart, brewing, not at you but towards the world that has made you into the sort of person you are today. Or maybe it had always been this way, maybe you had always been hurting and he just never noticed, maybe it was always like this all along and maybe, perhaps, they made it worse when they left you all alone to fend for your own self.

Feeding you to the wolves.

He’s angry not just at the world but at himself and Jungkook knows that if the truth were to ever leave your lips about what actually happened to you, about all the things that you’ve gone through, he knows that this hatred he feels right now is only but a small fraction waiting to build up before it all breaks into the tiniest little pieces.

Shattering in the way he had broken you.

Shattered.

The world can only do so much but he encouraged it by standing by, by letting it all fall down onto you, by letting himself be convinced that you’d be fine, that everything would be alright.

But nothing turned out alright.

In the days and months and years that followed your absence, they returned to how things were, returned to loving one another, accepting one another, forgiving one another. But in those days and months and years, he can only imagine what sort of events you had to face.

While they had each other, while they always had each other to lean on, did you have anyone by your side?

The Reapers may be one thing, supporting you and giving you their utmost loyalty, but did they ever hold power over the things that happened to you in the way Namjoon could have handled it? In the way he would have handled it?

“Y/N?” You don’t answer him when he calls out to you but he expected that so he walks on over to where you’re standing.

You’re as still as ever, and he approaches with a careful, watchful gaze, hesitant when he reaches a finger over to you. 

A small touch to the blanket, just over your shoulder, and when you don’t freak out or move away from him, he puts two fingers. 

Then another.

Then another.

And when you don’t react to his hand, he proceeds to place a hand on your head and press it towards his chest.

You don’t resist.

“Come on, let’s head back to bed, yeah?” And understanding that you’re okay with him even in this lifeless state of yours, because he knows your body is capable of telling the people you trust and don’t trust apart, he puts his other hand under your knees and picks you up to carry you over back to the bed.

You comply well with him despite your unresponsive self, and when he tucks you back in with the blanket pulled over your chest, he looks back to see your eyes staring straight toward him. Empty yet lonely.

Vacant.

Not at him but through him, and his heart aches a little at the sight.

“You’re alright now,” Jungkook whispers. “You’re alright.”

If Hoseok had been here, would he have been able to do a better job looking after you?

Jungkook wishes he could have been better.

No thoughts.

Namjoon pretty.

MYUNGSOO: new emotions (2023)

My first kpop love💛

INFINITE // New Emotions MV

INFINITE New Emotions (2023)

This man, is also…

This man.

cry me a river | the reckless

— summary: in the face of danger, you run right into it

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, mafia!au

— word count: 4.7k

— warnings: slight violence

— PART 24 / previous post / masterpost

It’s about one in the morning when you sneak out of the room with gentle steps, making sure to not wake the one who sleeps on the armchair beside the bed, his soft little snores still heard until his presence disappears with the closed door.

The hallways are as silent as it was back in the room, the only thing heard is the sounds of your footsteps echoing through, and as you close your shawl closer to your body, you look around to make your way to the familiar steps that lead outside where the greenhouse stands.

The doors are left unlocked so you let yourself in and step through the glass doors, closing your eyes for a moment to breathe in the scent of the greens all around you.

It’s during lonely moments like this you feel your heart craving for some sort of familiarity. Not just the presence of your Reapers but for the presence of your manor itself.

For years you spent hating that place more than anything because that was where everything happened; where you were born, where you grew up, watching your mother hating you with every fiber left in her, chasing after your father’s attention, shedding tears on top of gentle shoulders, trapped behind the steel door of a white room, training, meeting good people, meeting bad people, everything.

Everything.

You can’t recall when the feeling of dread and disdain turned to eyes seeking for it, feet yearning to step back into it. Maybe it was the moment your father died, when the dynasty he worked so hard to build broke down into pieces like a house of cards, when you took over and made it into the home that it is now starting to feel like.

You returned to it after Leehyun, locking yourself in the comfort of your room, knowing that if you were to step outside, your Reapers would be right there with the smallest calling of their names. It served as your escape when it used to be the very reason you hated your existence.

The manor has become home and perhaps the only reason it’s able to be such a thing is because of what you’ve built it to be.

You want to escape, to return to it and simply hide in it and have no one bother you until you’re ready to step out yourself.

On the bench where Alexander sat this morning, you take your seat and close your eyes, trying to manipulate your mind into thinking you aren’t in Norway, that you’re back in Seoul, back at the manor, and not somewhere far, far away.

It’s exhausting doing this, your revenge plan. It’s exhausting having to put up a front, exhausting having to freeze up and recall unwanted memories that you wish could bury forever in the back of your mind.

But buried memories can’t always stay buried. They return, eventually, in time, whether you’re prepared or not.

You can’t tell how much time has passed but when you feel something against your feet accompanied by small little pants, you open your eyes to find the little puppy that accepted you from the moment he laid eyes on you.

You look down at him and he returns your gaze with a tilt in his head, tail wagging, and swirls about in a circle once before using his nose to poke at your leg again. He reminds you of the children at The Academy, how they’ve never been scared of you despite wanting to always push them away with your cold demeanor. It’s like Kiwi sees right through you, just like them, and in your silence, you pick up the small little thing to bring him onto your lap.

His tail wags a little more and when you run your hand through his fur, he gets a little more excited and affectionate.

Besides the children, there’s someone else you see in him.

“You remind me of someone,” you say as he nuzzles into the feeling of your palm. “Though unlike you, he wasn’t too fond of me in the beginning. It took some time for him to warm up but once he got to that point, he wouldn’t stop following me around.”

You fall silent again, thinking, remembering, reminiscing, and your fingers stop playing around with the little puppy on your lap.

The memories aren’t as hazy as they used to be, they’re a little clearer, a little closer to home. You can feel it in your heart when something feels like it’s just stabbed it, and in your stomach when you feel a little drop.

“I’m sorry for being selfish,” a voice whispers into your ear. “I’m sorry for only ever thinking about myself.”

But the thing about that is, you cannot be sorry for something that is within your nature, you cannot be sorry for wanting to put yourself first in a cruel, cruel world. When everything feels wrong, when the world feels like it’s always against you, when you do not know who to put your trust in.

If you were a little more mature and a little more brave, would you have been able to tell him the things you want to say now?

Things like; it wasn’t your fault. Things like; it’s alright, and you’re okay, and rest well.

Rest well, rest well, rest well.

You lean your head forward to the sky, gaze closed, as if hoping the things you spoke within your heart could be heard from him wherever he stays.

And as the silence continues, you feel your consciousness eventually slip away as your shoulders loosen their tensions with the feel of the little puppy resting well in your lap.

You didn’t realize it, that you had fallen asleep, but you know yourself waking when you feel a presence closing in and immediately opening your eyes to meet the old man who has a blanket hovered before you, his eyes falling a little surprised because he hadn’t expected you to wake up so easily.

“It’s good to put your guard down a little, you know,” Alexander says with a small chuckle as you accept the blanket to drape it behind you.

“I’ve learned my lesson with that,” you answer him and scoot over to the edge of the bench in order to make room for him.

He takes his seat beside you though leaves enough space in between and you’re thankful this man is observant. Kiwi’s awake but remains quiet and still, head resting against his paws with his tail swaying side to side.

“Do you have anyone you can trust in this world?” Alexander crosses a leg over the other and you look at your watch to see that it’s about four in the morning.

You managed to sleep in an unfamiliar place while knowing there weren’t any Reapers that could come to you at any second. How odd.

“There are always chances someone can stab you in the back.” Maybe the presence of Kiwi helped you. “It’s never a good idea to put your full trust in anyone.”

“You say that but one day you might come to know it feels rather nice putting unconditional faith in someone.”

You shake your head, brows furrowing. “Even if that someone has a good heart and good intentions, it doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”

There’s only been one person you know you can truly trust but he’s gone from this world, only ever being able to see him again when he wishes to visit you in your dreams. He’s the only person you’d ever allow to hurt you over and over again, even if it isn’t the real version of him.

Mister Butler can hate you and betray you but you’d let him do it again and again and maybe that’s because in your heart, you know those versions that the nightmares give you are simply from your own imagination and that he’d never truly come to hate you. He’s incapable of betraying your trust. Someone like him, who stayed by your side when he didn’t have to, isn’t a man who can have his heart easily swayed into hating you.

“Are you tired of betrayal?”

“I’m tired of everything,” you admit and he looks at you up and down, eyes narrowing slightly.

“And yet here you are, out in Norway.” Alexander knows a thing or two, he isn’t dumb, and you aren’t someone to think otherwise. He wouldn’t be in the position he is now if he was, and you don’t deny what he implies in his words. “You run straight into the very things that make you tired.”

“Because it is the only way I can feel alive.” You look on straight ahead before you, watching the pretty sky that pokes out from behind the plants of the greenhouse. “Otherwise I’d be in my room, rotting away. There is no purpose in running away, there is no purpose in leaving things be. My father did not leave this world for me to simply carry on as if he never existed.”

Some may take that as you carrying on your father’s legacy and whatever Alexander is thinking, you don’t care too much for it because all it matters is what you know. You didn’t kill your father just to stay silent for the rest of your life. His death was the beginning of everything.

Your turning point.

“And no one can stop a mind that’s already been made up.” Alexander nods, understanding, and doesn’t push for answers, but perhaps in the back of his mind, he’s a little curious about you and your goals and aspirations in this life. What drives you, what made you into the sort of person you are today, but Alexander is wise unlike many old men you’ve met throughout your life, so he doesn’t question things beyond your boundary.

And so he diverts the subject once again, turning it to the puppy in your lap.

“Perhaps you should adopt a pet of your own, to help you ease your mind a little,” he tells you with a fond gaze at Kiwi. “Humans can be quite disappointing, but a loyal pet will stay loyal for the rest of its life. Not to mention they’re the greatest comfort when someone needs it.”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe you should turn to a dog rather than humans in your time of need. Humans are disappointing creatures after all. But, “It’s too much of a hassle,” you say. “I can’t even take care of my own self properly, it’d be unwise of me to try and take care of another being.”

“...Is that so?”

It becomes a daily occurrence; the talks in the greenhouse, and soon you come to realize that Alexander isn’t one to let just anyone into his greenhouse. The doors that are usually locked during hours when one should be asleep are kept open, and perhaps that’s because he’s come to realize that you don’t sleep a lot, at least not in the house of a stranger, so he leaves them open for you to visit when you need your space.

And in the morning, around four or five AM when he awakens, he’ll come along and strike up a conversation and the two of you will speak about the things he brings up. Things like Seoul and of the Reaper gang, sometimes he’ll ask of Master Kitagawa, other times he’ll ask how far your skills go.

You speak to him in vague terms, careful not to tell him everything, but he comes to know that you were an only child, married once in an arranged marriage, but divorced. He doesn’t seem too surprised by that fact probably because everyone knows this happens all the time.

And in him knowing a little more about you, you come to know a little more about him as well.

Like when Kiwi came into his life and the fact that he’s had other pets throughout his lifetimes before but they’ve all died and left him.

You asked him why he continues adopting pets when he knows they don’t live as long as humans do, why he hurts himself over and over again, but he simply smiles and says that sometimes being able to love is better than being lonely. That it doesn’t matter how many times he has to watch them die and that he’d never regret loving them.

Alexander believes in reincarnation, that the souls of his first puppy dies and returns in the form of the other pets he’s had, so he’s never truly lonely, and something about that, believing in such a thing, though it sounds a bit absurd, is a little bit beautiful in its own way.

If you could believe Mister Butler died and returned through someone else, it’d be a nice delusion to live in, and despite the fact that there have been one or two guys that have reminded you of him, the truth is, no one can ever be Mister Butler.

Not Hoseok. Not Mingyu.

Because Mister Butler is like family. He was. 

Through your marriage with Namjoon, he was your older brother, but he always felt closer to a father figure to you, and perhaps that’s because your father was never there for you. Mingyu is closer to an older brother. A companion. A friend.

And Hoseok?

The one that got away.

The right person at the wrong time.

And because of that fact, you don’t allow yourself to be near him for too long, hence denying his companionship when Jungkook told you it’d probably be better if Hoseok were standing guard at your side rather than him.

It’s true, Hoseok would be better. You wouldn’t be as cautious towards him as you are of Jungkook, but it’s that exact reason that you cannot let him near.

You cannot let him shake your core, so you endure what you can and let Jungkook stay near you despite the constant reminder of what he did all those years ago.

It’s not entirely his fault but as you’ve said, it doesn’t hurt any less.

In your time getting closer to Alexander, he’s refused the appearance of Karl several times. Asher says if he has to, his grandfather will meet him elsewhere. Just not in the house. The guy has come to guess that you’re here because of Karl, and if he’s guessed it, maybe Alexander has too.

Though the old man never brings it up despite the plenty of chances during your greenhouse talks.

“Any progress?”

Dawn remains in the sky as ever and while Jungkook sleeps, you sit on the windowsill to take a call from the other side of the world. It’s a bit chilly to head out today so you stay indoors this time, making sure to keep your voice low.

“Plenty. It’s been quite peaceful these days, it feels a bit out of place.” Alexander’s kindness wasn’t something you expected the first day you walked into Norway. You expected things to be harder after meeting Asher but surprisingly, things are quite…easy, to say the least. “I have a feeling it won’t last too long.”

“No?” Namjoon sounds a little confused on his end. “Why do you say that? Should we come over earlier than planned?”

“No, don’t do that. Come as scheduled,” you say and look away from the window to the man who’s moved from sleeping on the armchair to the bed. It took some time to convince him initially but eventually Jungkook agreed to take the bed since you don’t really sleep anyway.

“You have something planned, don’t you?” There’s some suspicion in his voice and you want to laugh a little at how things are right now.

Who would have thought you’d be back on speaking terms with the man you thought you’d push away for good? But here he is, back and ready to give you his trust. You don’t know if he’s smart or stupid or both. Maybe there’s a bit of both, but it probably took some time for him to consider it, being as the whole thing was about his brother whom he loves very dearly.

Namjoon’s finally using his head.

Though you aren’t too sure if you like it so much.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

“Y/N.”

“It’s nothing bad.”

“I don’t know if I can trust those words so easily. The last time you left the country, you disregarded your life just for that plan of yours.”

“Listen.” You roll your eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

There’s a pause on his end before he speaks again. “You didn’t assure me that you won’t do something reckless,” he notes and you internally click your tongue, “which means that feeling of the peace not lasting for long is you actively causing that to happen.” When you don’t respond, he goes on. “Will you stop being so secretive and let me know what you’re thinking? Maybe then you won’t be in the same position you were with Leehyun, and me and my boys and the Reapers will know how to help you.”

Well.

“You can’t keep hiding, Y/N. Stop being so reckless, you’re too reckless.”

“Watch me.”

He lets out a heavy sigh. “That wasn’t a challenge.”

“No?”

Another sigh and he knows he can’t win. “Just…if you decide it’s better for me to go over sooner rather than later, let me know. I’ll be waiting. Right here, just a phone call away.”

“...Sure.”

You don’t think too much about it. You don’t want to think too much about it. 

So when the cloud gives way to the sun and it shines higher in the sky, you finally take up Karl’s request to have tea and catch up, deciding you shouldn’t keep running away from what you’re trying to face.

You have Yeonjun stay by your side this time, rather than Jungkook, in case Karl says something out of line and Jungkook will hear more things than you want him to. You stay in the garden of Alexander’s mansion, keeping a little distance away from the building itself, and with the feel of eyes from a window behind you, the conversation begins.

“I remember him,” Karl points at your escort when he takes his first sip of the tea. “Jun? Joon?” Yeonjun doesn’t make an effort to fix him and simply remains quiet. “Right, never one to talk but always by your side.” His eyes settle back on you, a small glint of mirth in them. “You have quite the loyal companion.”

“Yes..I do.” You ignore his gaze to take a sip of your own tea, keeping your replies short.

“I’m still a bit hurt you didn’t reach out to me about your father’s death. We were good friends, you knew that.”

Of course you did. “I apologize, it slipped my mind.”

“Slipped your mind?” He raises a brow, unconvinced. “Hmm…and here I thought, I left a good impression in those four months I stayed in Seoul.”

You did. 

You did indeed leave an impression that will last a lifetime.

“Maybe I should have tried harder?”

That mirth in his eyes. Again.

You want to punch him.

“How did he die though? The man I knew isn’t someone who would have easily died and he would have updated me about his health had he fallen ill.”

“He was betrayed,” you say, not batting an eye, and Karl puts his cup down after hearing that.

His eyes are blown out. “Your father? Betrayed? And he didn’t see that coming?”

“They were smart.”

“Even still..” He can’t believe it, though you don’t blame him too much. The father you both know is not someone who’s easily trusting of others, therefore he’s always right there to pick out someone who will betray him before they can execute their plan. 

That’s why it took so long to manipulate him into believing you were a daughter full on worshiping his ground without an ounce of betrayal in your veins. That’s why your masterful plan took so long. You had to convince your father into believing he had won in manipulating you to his side when all along, you had been waiting to stab him in the back. Facing a man like him, smart, calculating, a manipulating gaslighter who thinks the world centers around him requires more than just simple brains and planning.

It took years to execute your plans and even then you feel like you could have done better with everything. For one, not letting anyone see what had happened, aka Bangtan. But what’s done is done. Dwelling on past mistakes is just stupid and a waste of time.

“And what about you?” When Karl points the finger at you, his gaze narrows, brows slightly furrowed. “You’re his daughter, his perfect little doll. You didn’t see that someone was plotting your father’s death? Is it not your job to protect him?”

“That’s right,” you give him nothing to fight against, just simply accepting the accusations placed upon you. “I failed in protecting him. I am an incompetent daughter who should have done better.”

Karl stands up, running a hand through his hair. “Your father did all that he could for you and still, you–” 

When he looks at you again and meets the gaze you send him, his word stops mid-sentence. Your stare isn’t threatening, it isn’t a glare, nor one that is meant to scare him off, yet something in them lies a hidden threat either way, were he to continue speaking. Karl, seeing that, lets out a chuckle and he closes in on you, patting you on the shoulder before simply leaving his hand there.

You look at it for a second before giving him the attention he wants as he leans in, nose inches away from you.

“Your father created you into the weapon that you are today, my dear little Y/N, and you’ve even been trained under Kitagawa, so why is it that you failed to protect him? Huh? Tell me.”

From the corner of your eye, Yeonjun moves slightly closer, though he keeps his distance and doesn’t dare to make a move unless you instruct him otherwise.

The breath against your face, the touch of skin burning through the thin cloth of your dress, the sides of your knees meeting one another, back straightening up, heels rising from the ground, fingers intertwined into each other, sitting on your lap.

You keep your eyes open, meeting his gaze, but internally you’re counting in your head and holding your breath, hearing the beat of your heart that might as well rip through your rib cages and past the barrier of your skin to physically beat widely before Karl himself.

Maybe he hears it, maybe he can feel it, but whether he does or not, he has no will to move away from you and you know Karl, he isn’t dumb. He knows exactly the effect he has on you right now. He saw it, knows just how you felt all those weeks ago when you were in the living room and he touched you.

He knows and doesn’t care one bit.

Just as he was all those years ago.

They never change.

“What is it that you want from me, Karl?” He doesn’t fix you into calling him uncle this time. “Do you want me to repent on my knees and beg for forgiveness? My father’s already six feet underground, it’s not as if he’ll hear me now, but as his close friend, if you wish for me to do just that, I will. Just for you.”

There’s malice in his eyes, a scoff that leaves him when he watches you, and finally, he moves back. Just a little. “You’ve gotten quite bold, haven’t you? Now that your father isn’t here to teach you a lesson.”

“And if I have? What will you do about it?” You push back, leaning forward, challenging him despite your body screaming at you to run away. “Go ahead and do whatever you’d like with me, there’s no one here right now that can stop you. I can tell Yeonjun to pluck his eyes out right now and he’ll do just that. He won’t say a word and he won’t move unless I tell him otherwise.”

At the mention of the boy, Karl looks over between you and him, and then something in him lights up slightly as if he’d just remembered something. As if he’d just realized something.

“That’s right...what loyal companions…” He steps back, releasing your shoulder, and tilts his head back as he laughs obnoxiously. “Is this all about that little boy I messed with? Him?” The laugh rings a little louder, a little more crazed. “You pretend you’re so cold and have no feelings and yet here you are, chasing after me all the way from Seoul, just for a boy, the second you got the chance. If your father were still here, he wouldn’t have let that happen, but now that he’s gone…-”

He pauses again, and after hurling over laughing, stands back up straight again as the laugh dies all too abruptly. So you stand up from your seat, the corner of your lip curling over as you notice just why he’s gone silent.

By now the tea is slowly getting cold but you don’t care much for it as you stand tall, hands held together before you in a formal manner.

“The person who betrayed him…” His eyes narrow. “Who was it?”

“Oh uncle,” you mock that title, mirth in your eyes, “I think you know exactly where that answer lies.”

Danger.

Something screams danger when his gaze darkens in realization.

And yet you seem to only be attracted to danger as it is the only thing you’ve ever gotten used to seeing every day. The danger of being born as a mafia heir, married to a mafia powerhouse, spiraled into a hellhole you cannot ever seem to escape so you run towards it.

Directly into the fire.

Into the danger.

Provoking your enemies, knowing exactly just what their reactions will be, because danger seems to be the one thing in your life that will never leave and abandon you out of nowhere. The only thing you can forever trust to catch you were you to fall blindly into it.

And blindly you fall, trusting it to come.

And comes it goes, directly your way.

Never disappointing.

Never disappointing.

Namjoon called you reckless and for the first time in forever, you might have to agree with him. Because being reckless means not caring for the consequences to come after committing a rash action. The reckless ones do not care what happens to them, they live off adrenaline, they run towards the fire when everyone else runs away.

Towards the danger despite knowing there will always be a chance they may not survive. Unheeding, stubborn, thoughtless, careless, negligent, imprudent. Unwise, unwary, incautious, hasty.

A fool.

A fool.

A fool.

But misguided and left on their own. Lonely, abandoned, hurt, isolated, rejected, forsaken. An outcast and unloved, a disappointment and broken.

Broken.

A broken little soul whose heart lies empty with a hole pierced through the middle.

You are reckless. You are broken.

And broken things do not know how to save themselves, they only know the warmth of the fire. That is the only thing they can rely on.

So you stay within his vicinity, within Karl’s reach, watching, simply standing there, keeping still, as if keeping vigil. Like you’re just waiting, just expecting for something, anything, the inevitable, to happen. And when it comes in the form of a harsh, harsh slap across the face that has your body turning over to the side and having to hold onto the table to keep your balance, you can’t even say that you are surprised.

It feels like being in the presence of your father all over again, in the face of danger, of a manipulator, of a gaslighter, of an abuser.

He returns hard and so vividly in the form of anger, in the form of a ghost, a spirit whom you see standing right behind Karl. He stands as still as ever, hands held behind his back, simply watching.

Watching.

While you stand before him in front of a man he’s using to command orders over him. Using violence through others because father never raises his hands, father never puts in the effort or strength or power into physical forms. He does it through others, he commands through others, he hurts through others.

Watching until he’s satisfied.

But he’s never satisfied. He’s never satisfied.

And on your end, you can do nothing but accept it all willingly.

There is nothing else you can do, there is nothing else that can be done. It is like being in his presence all over again. Yeonjun, the Reapers behind you, standing still, told to not do a thing, to not move an inch, and your father behind the violence, keeping silent with a deadly gaze.

You return to the past.

You see him.

He’s right there.

And Karl raises his hand again.

It's 1am here. I can't. He is sooo...I can't. Nope. LOOK AT THAT SMILE

#KIM F*CKING NAMJOON EVERYONE

#this man is going to be the death of me

Anyway, back to the usual.

Today, Namjoon’s pretty smile…

HA GOT YOU!

Lured you into a false sense of security, never trust a Hard Stan!

Trading my sleep for this was one of the best desicion I've ever made!

I love the story and how the characters evolve. How the 'good' and the 'bad' are not just black and white but there is gray too, and a lot of it. How each of them were connected by that fateful night.

Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! | MYG

You visit your hometown during the holidays. You and your childhood friend Joon reminisce and you learn more about your smooth tech talker business partner Yoongi. Can he win you over once and for all?

Yoongi x reader x Namjoon Superhero/Super Villain AU. Enemies to lovers to enemies to other enemies to lovers?! Slow burn romance. Love triangle-ish? Sequel to Your Friendly Neighborhood Superhero, RM

Hi friends, this was supposed to be lighthearted, but then it got HEAVY...so like yeah, typical story of mine lol. I almost pulled y/n's character back, but she's supposed to be kind of not good, so extra warnings

Warnings: smut, voyeur, fingering, rough sex, outdoor sex, graphic depictions of violence, crime, police brutality, fucked up villain shit, unhinged y/n, threatening school violence, character death, manipulation, angst

Word Count: 17.1k

---

“I’m going to visit my parents for the holidays, so don’t bother me.” You finish counting the final stack of money from yesterday’s “donations,” securing the loose bills together with a tie and place the stack inside your bag.

Hoseok looks up, dropping the bracelet he had been threading onto the table top. Working tediously on his new hobby kept his mind off the storm outside, his body busy so he can think about something else rather than the drop in barometric pressure and violent lightning nearing closer. “Does Tae know?”

You roll your eyes. “What is he, my keeper?” You grab another stack of bills, fanning out the money with your fingers.

The papers on the table scatter from a controlled gust of wind; a miniscule push of power by Hoseok. “You’re taking more than your share,” Hoseok warns.

You pout. “I have to buy Christmas presents! C’mon, you and I both know we’re the ones doing most of the work, just think of it as a holiday bonus!” You look at him hopeful.

Hoseok goes back to threading beads, shaking his head. “Don’t let the others hear you talk like that. We all contribute equally here, y/n.”

You pull your bag over your shoulder, belligerent, keeping the extra cash. “Yeah…” You agree, leaning over his chair, draping your arms over Hoseok’s shoulders, chin in the crook of his neck, studying his new art project. “But we’re the most powerful and you know it, Weather Man. Plus, I deserve compensation for being partnered with Jin last night.”

Hoseok scoffs, unable to hold in his laughter. “Oh really? I heard it was the other way around, that you spent most of the night thinking about ghosts to scare Jin,” he shivers.

“Jin started it,” you mutter, unable to tell Hoseok being in a confined space with the mind reader, who spent the night teasingly pressed up against you had sent your mind straight into the gutter, much to Jin’s utter amusement. So you decided to amuse yourself as well.

---

Taehyung’s latest undertaking involved flipping the vote of every legislator who opposed his new environmental preservation act, which meant overtime for the snarky mind reader who spent his time shadowing each legislator, listening and searching for a dirty little secret he could use against them, because the only thing more powerful than money is knowledge.

Bribing his competitors worked pretty well in the beginning, and the group liked the idea of using their own stolen money against them, but threatening them with a piece of information that could ruin their entire career…well, threats just worked so much better than bribes, and provided Taehyung with lasting allegiance.

Seokjin learned quickly that politicians are such egomaniacs they think mostly about themselves, which can provide him some good quality scandals, but the better ones, the life-ruining ones, those always seem to come from family. Which is how you ended up stuck inside a bedroom closet while Jin listened in on the thoughts of his latest target’s wife and children.

Apparently, Seokjin absolutely needed you there in case something went wrong. Jungkook had rudely materialized inside your apartment uninvited and hopped you to Seokjin before you could even protest. And protest you did, in your mind, torturing Seokjin in your own stubborn way.

And so that's how most of your nights now went, forced into helping Taehyung with his endeavors one way or another. At least it paid well.

---

“Are you going back home too?” You ask, using your telekinetic powers to help the bracelet’s string go through the bead when he misses.

“Probably not,” Hoseok sighs, leaning his head back against your shoulder. “Tae has to stay in the city, and I know Jin and Jimin are staying too.”

And truth be told, Hoseok doesn’t like visiting his hometown.

Before his friends helped him learn how to control his abilities, Hoseok’s emotions ruled his powers. The aftermath caused too many pained memories around his old family home. Hoseok prefers the safe company of his friends instead.

The memories still haunt him, a younger Hoseok in the kitchen of his old family home arguing with his mother, his own uncontrolled adolescent rage transferring to the lit stove, sparking a huge blaze that burned his mother. A faulty switch, they said, an ‘accident.’ But for Hoseok it was a reminder of how truly devastating his powers could become.

‘Jimin's staying?’ There goes your ride. ‘Ahh, that’s right,’ Jimin did say something about his new assignment. Your roommate was going undercover this Christmas, a present for a very unlucky daughter of one of Taehyung’s targets, because who would ever suspect a cute little puppy?

“We're having Christmas dinner at Governor Kim's mansion, you sure you want to miss that?”

“Hmm I'll just get JK to hop me a plate,” you joke, standing straight. “Okay, well, see you next year!”

Hoseok grabs your wrist. “Hold on!”

His tone was sharp, you thought he was going to yell at you again for taking the extra cash, but instead he pulls a colorful bracelet from his tray, stretching it over your hand.

“Merry Christmas.” He places a reassuring kiss on the top of your wrist before shaking you away. “Be careful, Yoongi says back home isn’t like what it was when we were kids, it’s dangerous past sunset now.”

You see your name written out in beads. Even if Hoseok has become a lot more moody in his adulthood, you see the old him shine through sometimes, and after all the times he’s saved your ass on heists, you can’t help but appreciate him and his powers. “I’ll be fine.” You grumble, admiring the cute bracelet.

“I’m not worried about you, I’m worried about everyone else!” He yells after you.

“Hey y/n.” Min Yoongi enters just as you’re leaving.

“Hi and bye, see you next year!”

He watches your retreating figure and turns to Hoseok with a look of skepticism. “What is she talking about?”

---

You knock on steel, one two three times in a special pattern. A familiar pattern to alert the occupant inside that you were alone and meant no harm.

“Y/n?” A sleepy Namjoon stands in front of you in sweats and messy hair, scars littering his toned torso that make you instantly regret seeking him out. The cuts; a consequence of fighting Jimin in his tiger form. You heard about it afterwards, but seeing the evidence now...now that you’re here, you think you’ll have to find a way to heal him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! What? I can’t even check in on you anymore?” You lean on the door frame away from him with your arms crossed. You used to see Namjoon every day, then it became weeks, now your only interactions with him were becoming the times you ran into him as ‘RM,’ where he looks at you with such contempt in his eyes.

Joon keeps his arm placed by your head, blocking you from entering.

Namjoon frowns. “What does V want?”

Ever since you’ve aligned yourself with Taehyung, it’s been like this. Joon doesn’t trust you, which is fine, you’ve lied enough to him to know you deserve his ire. But the way he acts like you are now Taehyung’s lackey, or worse, girlfriend, is infuriating.

“I don’t fucking know! I’m not here because of Tae,” you say, irritated.

“Why are you here at two in the morning then?” He looks you over, eyes zoning in on your cleavage, and you don’t need to be a mind reader to know exactly where Namjoon’s mind went. He leans on his arm, pectoral muscles jumping, waiting for your answer.

“Not for that either,” you cough. “I wanted to know if you were going to go visit your family for Christmas.”

“Why? Planning to do something while I’m away?”

You ignore his accusations. “Oh so you are? Me too.”

Namjoon cocks his head to the side, “You are?”

You nod. “Yeah, err well I was planning to stay there until the new year. I felt like getting away,” you swallow down the rest of your words, looking away.

“You’re going by yourself?” He moves to the side, letting you into his apartment.

“Well, yeah? I mean, that’s also why I’m here. Did you want to go together? My parents still ask about you,” you add quietly.

“It would be nice to see them again,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, hoping to relieve the awkward tension he was suddenly feeling.

“Okay, we should go together, yeah,” he says uneasily. If V’s most powerful super supporter was going to leave the city, it would only benefit Namjoon to keep an eye on you. Like the old saying goes, ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ Namjoon didn’t know what you were to him anymore, but as long as you were with him, he felt reassured Taehyung wouldn’t try anything too villainous. And then…he’d get to spend time with you…

“When did you want to leave?” you ask, looking around his living room, missing the close connection you once had. This shouldn’t feel so cold and foreign to you, Joon shouldn’t-

“I was going to catch the first bus out this weekend.”

Catch a bus? A bus? Eh?

You were hoping to catch a ride with him by means of super powered flight. Of course Joon would choose not to use his powers, instead picking the most difficult means of transportation. You laugh to yourself.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing, I know you don’t need a license, but you should at least learn how to drive, don’t you think, Joon? It might come in handy. What if ‘RM’ had to steer a careening delivery truck off the highway or something?”

“I would just stop it with my body.” Joon says, missing the point.

You frown, “What about the passengers?”

“Uhh I’d fly them to safety before impact!”

You glare at your old friend's simplistic viewpoint, crossing your arms. “Looks like you have it all figured out then.”

“It’s my job,” he pats your head, pushing you softly and smiling smugly.

You stumble backwards, trying to calm the heat in your cheeks. “Yeah, maybe it’s for the best that The God of Destruction doesn’t operate a moving vehicle.”

“Hey, you know I hate that nickname.”

“Yeah I do, that’s why I used it.”

Namjoon scoffs, leaning against his kitchen counter, his scars prominently on display.

“Here, let me fix that, I can’t stand looking at it.” You move closer, placing your palm against his torso. You expect him to stop you, but he watches silently.

“I’ve felt this before,” he mutters.

“Yeah, well you get hurt often, don’t you?”

“You know, I always thought it was from my own powers. That I had super healing powers or something,” he laughs bitterly. Now that you’re not around, and his muscles ache more than ever, he knows the truth.

You concentrate, “Your body is different. It’s a lot easier to heal you than other people, so maybe you do and I’m just speeding it up a bit,” His body radiates warmth against your palm, the energy at your fingertips adds to the heat.

Namjoon closes his eyes, feeling the pain in his joints slowly disappear as well. “Ahh how do you do that?”

“I don’t know, I just concentrate, if I concentrate enough I can start to get the physics of what’s going on, down to the molecules. When I concentrate I can feel your blood pumping through your veins…that sounds pretty gross, huh?” You tease, but Namjoon peers down at you with soft eyes.

“You could do so much good in the world, y/n.”

You look at him pointedly, not wanting to hear this speech again. “Yeah, I’ll just become the next Mother Teressa while I’m at it.” Doing this is draining, does Joon really think you’re willing to sacrifice your time and energy to fix everyone else’s problems? Martyrdom does not suit you.

Namjoon bites his tongue, keeping in his protests for now, already thinking of ways to persuade you once you’re out of the city and away from Taehyung’s clutches. He wants his best friend back, even though he will never admit it.

“Okay,” you stop, satisfied now that the redness was gone, the energy in Joon’s body already increasing now that his joints didn’t feel so tired, “I better go.”

Namjoon stops you, grabbing your hand before you can fully pull away and you look up at him confused. You’ve seen that apprehension before in him, unspoken pleas swirling in the dark irises of his eyes, desires he holds back. He wouldn’t, not anymore, you already know that, but part of you…hopes.

“See you this weekend then.”

You nod, stealing a kiss before you leave. Namjoon stiffens, acting unphased. Namjoon’s willpower is becoming as impressive as his powers. He doesn’t reciprocate, returning your affection now would feel like he’s accepting all the wrongful actions you’ve chosen. No, Namjoon is too good for that.

But you, you rather be bad.

---

“Here, I got it.” Namjoon carries both your suitcases and his as if they weighed nothing, packing each case in the bus’s cargo and offers to help other riders store their luggage too. You can’t help but smile, he’s never going to change. Despite everything, he will always be the helpful caring man you’ve fallen for. So you leave him to it, stepping on the bus to find your seat.

“Hey y/n.”

“Yoongi?!”

Yoongi stands up, smiling deviously. You realize to your horror his seat is directly behind yours.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” you hiss. Min Yoongi is going to ruin everything, Namjoon will never believe a word you say now. He’s going to think you set him up and push you even farther away.

“I’m going home-”

“On our bus? Do you think I’m dumb? Did Tae put you up to this?!”

“‘Our’ bus? Finally made it official with him? You could do better.”

“Shut up, shut up!” You press Yoongi’s shoulders down, trying to hide him from view, but he’s too solid and too stubborn. You are truly panicking, completely forgetting you have the power to move him and the entire bus if you wanted to. The irony is not lost on Yoongi who can’t help but snicker at your distraught state. He smirks and his eyebrows raise, outstretching his neck in a lazy gesture for you to turn around.

“Y/n? What’s going on?” Namjoon takes in your frightened state and Yoongi’s smug demeanor, jaw clenching when he notices his old childhood classmate turned super villain, reminding him of the rift between you and him.

“I swear, Joon, I didn’t know-”

“It’s fine.” He stiffens, he could tell you weren’t lying…or perhaps you had just gotten better at it in his absence. “Hey Min.”

“So formal, Namjoon.”

You look between both men, able to feel the tension thick in the air. Oh, that’s right.

Yoongi’s feet are kicked out from under him as he falls back into his seat, glaring daggers at you for using your powers on him.

You quickly sit down, taking a calming breath in. “Um, Joon?”

Joon stands conflicted. If he was a lesser man he would punch Yoongi for the way he rudely treats you. Namjoon just thinks about it instead. He sighs, moving his glasses to rub at his eyes and hesitantly lowers himself in the seat next to you.

---

A bump in the road wakes you up. You lift your head up, see unruly brown hair, the top of Namjoon’s head pressed to your chin. You had fallen asleep with your head against the window’s glass, and Joon had fallen asleep against you. You look outside, where the scenery changed from the familiar gray block structures of metal and concrete into greenery and winding roads and you smile to yourself. Joon softly snores against you and it reminds you of your childhood, and the nostalgia of going back home hits you all at once.

You smile, happy, ignoring the pain inside you that aches in a steady rhythm.

---

“We’re here, y/n.” Joon’s calming deep voice wakes you up. “Let’s go.”

You yawn, stretching. Namjoon had woken up before you, watched you sleep softly against him, your arms protectively tight around his shoulders even in your slumber, and stayed still until he couldn’t any longer.

He insists on carrying your suitcase, he insists on walking with you.

“I’ll go with you, y/n. I’m walking that way.” Min Yoongi barges into your conversation. “I live closer to you, right?”

“She’s not going to her house, she’s going to mine.” Namjoon says defensively and drapes his arm over your shoulders, pulling you in.

“I…am?”

“My parents made us lunch,” he says sheepishly, confidence waning.

“That’s great!” you over-emphasize your excitement, trying to lift his mood. “I can’t say no to your mom’s cooking. If only she taught you a thing or two.”

Yoongi watches you leave with the undercover superhero, annoyed at the way he keeps you protectively close.

Everyone noticed the way you held your powers back around RM, even (not so) discreetly protecting him from the other’s attacks when he showed up to stop them. It had become a liability for Taehyung, who asked Yoongi to help find a way to put an end to your unwavering feelings for the superhero, hoping to stop the annoying Vendetta RM had taken up against him the closer you became with the group.

Taehyung had started to feel his own contempt for the superhero who kept getting in the way of his plans and kept holding you back from your potential. Yoongi agreed because Yoongi noticed it too. Unlike the others who worked to hone their abilities under Taehyung’s guidance, you didn’t use your powers in the same way, you stayed comfortable in minimal effort feats of power, getting away with it because your ability was so vast. But Yoongi wanted more for you.

---

Spending the day with Namjoon and his parents made you see how right your decision to come back to your hometown had been, you could go back to pretending you were normal and Namjoon and you were best friends again. Namjoon’s family was always so warm and welcoming to you. They loved you like a second daughter, and they definitely loved the fact that you now ran your own business.

Namjoon’s father wasn’t pleased Namjoon hadn’t found a suitable career yet, knowing how bright his son was. Namjoon had the grades to go to any college he pleased, to become a lawyer or a doctor, but Namjoon chose the life of a superhero instead.

His father didn’t know why his son decided to work odd jobs instead, he didn’t know of his super powers. His father tended to be as dense as Namjoon about things. But his mother, she knew why. She even sewed his first superhero suit, and though she couldn't talk about his accomplishments with her friends, she was the proudest of her son. She joked Namjoon should work for you, which you wholeheartedly agreed with, laughing at Namjoon’s disapproving face.

Namjoon’s mom knew her son had super strength from the very beginning. It was nearly impossible to hide his strength when he first acquired his power, and as she took care of the home, she noticed something strange immediately.

You will never forget that day, you were both working on homework in his family room, or well, Namjoon was working on his homework and you were stealing his answers, and when Namjoon left you to grab drinks you heard an ominous crash, running into the kitchen to see your childhood best friend holding open the refrigerator door which had been entirely disconnected from his fridge.

“W-We can explain!” you had yelled, hitting a stunned younger Namjoon who dropped the door right in front of his mother.

“Oh great, I’ve wanted a new fridge for years. Dear, please pull the door off the stove as well, I want a matching set.” She smoothed her son’s hair down, adding...

“Dear, you sometimes float when you sleep.”

Even though you never used your powers in the beginning, you always wondered, if she knew about you too.

---

By the time you left to go to your family’s home the sun had begun setting and Namjoon and his mother insisted he take you.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I didn’t know Yoongi was going to follow us.”

“It’s alright, this is his hometown too.” Namjoon sighs, always trying to defend.

“Well, I don’t like it. I feel like they are keeping tabs on me, it’s creepy. And why are you smiling about that?” You shove him using your hands and your powers and he stumbles.

“I’m not smiling!” Namjoon laughs.

“You are! You’re smiling. You’re laughing now!”

Namjoon laughs louder, and you can’t help but laugh along with him. This is what you missed, what you yearned for, what you killed for-

A loud yell pulls your thoughts away from Namjoon. Somewhere there’s a fight, you could feel it, three different bodies. You and Namjoon hear another loud yell, screaming for-

“HELP!”

“You can’t!” You grab Namjoon before he can fly away. “Don’t you think it would be a little suspicious if ‘RM’ suddenly showed up right before Christmas in this small town?” you hiss. “Remember the rumors the first time we left?”

“Y/n,” he warns, “I can’t just-”

Another cry for help echoes in the night.

“Ugh, I’ll handle it, okay?! Stay back!”

And off you run, to fix things, to protect Namjoon.

“Uh, excuse me?” Two men stand over a third. The last man has a bloody nose, frightened eyes, dirt covered clothes. You address him first. “W-What’s happening? Why are these guys hitting you?”

“I-I’m d-delivering f-food! T-They are trying to t-take-”

“-your bike?” He shakes his head no, shivering from head to toe. One of the men runs towards you, grabs you and drags you to their victim, screaming at you to be quiet.

“Your...wallet?”

“Y/n!” Namjoon turns down the alleyway you found yourself in, his large towering figure in the distance seen by all four of you.

“Give me a second please!”

The robber tightens his hold on you, thoroughly pissed off you’ve been ignoring him. The delivery man is shaking his head, and the other robber swings back to hit him. You lift a hand up and to the delivery man’s surprise, the robber stops his assault, arm suspended in midair.

“What t-the fuck?”

“What are you doing?! Hit him!”

“I’m s-stuck!”

The robbers bicker amongst themselves while you try to calm down the scared delivery man. “What are they trying to take?” You ask again, still being dragged closer.

“My w-watch! My w-wife-”

“Ohhh!” See, that you can work with. All it takes is a little tug with your mind.

“Here.” You hold out the man’s watch.

“WHAT THE HELL?” Frozen robber yells.

The robber currently holding you reaches for the watch, but you are too quick, pulling when he pushes, and he too stands, well, leans, frozen. You walk over to the delivery man, handing him his watch.

“H-How did y-y-you...”

You wave your hands dramatically, “Magic. I’m a pretty good magician, yeah?” Then you look over to the frozen robbers. “Um, you should probably leave before the magic wears off, right? Go home to your wife. Tell her you fought off two men for that,” You look at his watch, laying a hand on his shoulder soothingly, and he nods quickly before jumping onto his delivery scooter.

“Y/n! You can’t do that! Stop, it's stealing.” Namjoon scolds, now by your side. You have both robbers’ wallets, pulling out extra cash while the men stay frozen and watch you terrified beyond imagination.

“What? This money is probably stolen anyways,” you argue.

Namjoon grabs the wallets out of your hand, exasperated. “Why do you have to be like this? Why?!” he yells, upset. You never acted this way until you started working with V and it angered him. When in reality, you had used your powers all the time to get the things you wanted and only held back when you were in your old friend's presence.

“At least with my way we don’t have to call an ambulance,” you mutter, annoyed.

“I don’t-I don’t mean t-to” he stutters, hurt by your words.

“I know, I know.” You are instantly filled with regret, but your temper doesn’t permit you to apologize. “Why are you getting so mad?! These are bad men aren’t they?” You glare at the frozen pair, their arms and legs still stuck in odd angles in front of you.

“Because we have to be better than them, y/n! They steal from someone so you steal from them and then when does it end?!”

You want to argue, but the way he looks at you fills you with guilt. You sigh, “...fine, we’ll do it your way.” You retake the wallets with Namjoon’s permission, walking towards the frozen men, you pull an ID between your fingers.

“You heard the man, consider yourself lucky.” You put the wallet back in the robber’s pocket and flip the identification card over, tucking it in the man’s front pocket. “I know your names and faces now, and where you live, so don’t think about breaking any more laws, because next time, we do it my way.” You grab the man’s cheeks, pinching his face between your fingers, “And my way involves you losing the ability to move permanently,” you warn, patting his cheek.

After you return the other man’s wallet and ID, you let them go, turning to a very stern looking Namjoon as they scurry away out of sight. “I didn’t mean it, I just said it to scare them.” You cross your arms, “Don’t tell me you’re mad about that too.”

Namjoon sighs, the entire ordeal went better than he expected at least. He pulls you back towards the road. “No. I’m glad…you helped… Why did you let him grab you like that? Are you okay?”

“Well, going in fists first is your thing,” you say, hooking your arm in his. “And I’m fine. Why, you were worried about me? C’mon, I fought you, you really think those assholes could hurt me? What, were you jealous?”

Namjoon scoffs. “Shut up,” wishing he could quiet you with his lips instead.

---

Something feels off. You know your childhood room was tiny, but there was a strangeness about it that unsettled you. You are officially home now after having Namjoon over for dinner. Your parents had been ecstatic to see you both again, grilled you and Namjoon on your relationship status much to your annoyance, and Namjoon left with the promise to come visit again tomorrow.

You loved your parents, but you accept your relationship is better when you’re only around them in small doses, so after dinner you went straight to your old room to unpack. You needed some alone time, but right now you didn’t feel alone.

You look around, eyeing each of your old electronics still sitting exactly where you left them. An old cordless phone that is still connected to the wall. Your TV and CD player haven’t moved. You notice your old computer, the web camera is still attached. Your eyes narrow when the odd feeling increases tenfold. Yoongi wouldn’t dare.

You glare at the piece of old technology, facing your body directly at the computer screen, and decide to test your theory by putting on a show.

Slowly, very slowly, you unbutton your blouse, until your front is left uncovered.

Hmm. Yanking off the clothing, you stand in your bra, turning your head to the side, trailing your hands over your body teasingly. At this point, you’re hoping Yoongi is watching, otherwise, acting like this for absolutely no one feels dumb. You pull off your bra, standing topless in the middle of your old bedroom. Okay, maybe you are dumb.

Giving up, you pull on a nightshirt and start unbuttoning your pants when your computer screen light turns on, white text letters beginning to fill the blank screen.

‘NICE TITS.’

How do you murder someone six houses away?

You move closer to the web camera, talking directly into the speaker. “Yoongi, what the fuck are you doing?”

‘LET’S TALK.’

Then the screen goes black and a notification pops up on your cell with a location in the center of town.

---

An old electronics store. ‘How convenient for him,’ you think.

The lights were turned on but no one stayed inside and the doors were locked. You sigh and easily unlock the door with your powers. Your break-in triggered an alarm, but it was silenced almost immediately, and you knew somewhere lurked the tech talker.

“Stalking me? Got a crush on me now?” you yell inside the empty store.

“I just think it’s a shame you’re holding your powers back for a man, not very 21st Century woman of you.” Yoongi appears behind a tall shelf. “You think those punks are going to become newly reformed citizens just because you threatened them?”

“I knew it, I knew it, you’re spying on me!”

Yoongi moves closer, rolling his eyes. “I’m making sure you are not playing both sides.”

“I’m not on a side,” you huff, “I thought I made that clear.”

“And yet, somehow Taehyung is always the one you’re standing next to when things go south,” he smirks. “But yeah, you’re totally not picking a side.”

“If you think I’m so powerful, why are you trying to piss me off, hmm?” The dirt starts to vibrate around your feet.

“Maybe I like a little pain.”

You smile. Yoongi’s right, you’ve been holding back, but you have no problem letting go now. The shelves by your sides begin to shake-

The speakers around you screech, the sharp high pitched noise is the worst sound you’ve ever heard. And it doesn’t end, loud and persistent, ringing in your eardrums. You scream, falling to the ground. While Yoongi, prepared with earplugs, walks closer to you, boots on either side of your head.

“Come on!” he yells, “JK never shuts up about how powerful you are, is this all you got?”

“I could-” You hold your pounding head, trying to hold your thoughts together, unable to concentrate, only able to destroy a quarter of the speakers in the store. “-rip your body from the inside out if I wanted to.”

If Yoongi was startled by that statement, he didn’t show it. However, the sound thankfully stops and he pulls out his earplugs. “I don’t think you want to do that, but I’d like to see you try.”

You turn onto your back, breathing heavily. Looking up at him, flicking your arm so every remaining electronic falls to the ground and breaks. “Your power seems to have limitations. It kind of…sucks.”

“Think so?” He bends down and places his hands on the ground by your head. “I might have agreed with you if we were born in another century. But now? I can feel it all around us, even in the ground, can’t you?”

You concentrate, feeling the hard twisting wires running beneath your body, in the floor, up the walls. Electricity covers the building, the sidewalks, running into the ground. Telephone, internet, power. So much power.

“You think my ability sucks? Sorry to break it to you baby, but out of everyone, my power might be the most similar to yours.” You roll your eyes and cross your arms behind your head, too tempted to crash an appliance into his smug face. This man did not just call you baby.

“We both use energy, mine is just a specific kind.” His fingertips hover over your shoulder and you flinch from the static electricity. The tiny hairs on your skin stand up, charged by Yoongi’s presence.

His hand hoovers over your body, down your neck, and then-

You yelp, arms covering your chest, glaring while Yoongi laughs softly.

His laughter stops when the air becomes tight around your bodies. His feet leave the ground as he hoovers, trying to balance himself with nothing to hold onto.

You lift yourself up, dragging your feet first, until you’re upside down, slowly flipping your bodies around until Yoongi is the one who’s on his back as you both float in the air.

Yoongi might have been right, but you weren’t going to let him know that, or let him believe you were anywhere in the same league. You plant your feet to the ground with a satisfied smirk as Yoongi struggles in midair. He throws his head back, glaring at you.

You cross your arms triumphantly and lean closer to his temple, whispering so close your lips graze his soft skin. “Tell me, any cool tricks to get out of this?”

The lights flicker and go out, the soft glow of the advertisements outside barely reach your bodies, but it almost looks like Yoongi’s eyes glow with them.

You can feel the static pull on the ends of your hair, but you’re too stubborn to let him go now. Shit.

Invisible power danced around you, zipping through the air until you felt that power hit through you and out.

You knew the current of electricity that hit your bodies was Yoongi’s doing, but the explosions afterwards, the collapsing building, was that you?

---

“Idiot, wake up.” Yoongi’s sleeping form zaps you again.

‘Pain in the fucking ass.’ You have spent all night trying to wake him up after healing both your bodies and fixing the whole goddamn shopping plaza. The destruction was worse than anything you've ever seen Namjoon cause, and it frightened you...

You hated how frightened you were, it reminded you of the first time you tried out your powers. In the beginning you were always afraid, never purposely used your abilities, unlike Namjoon who dived head first into his powers, it took you years to tediously build up your telekinesis.

You’re exhausted, you’re scared Namjoon is going to find out it was you, and you’re worried Yoongi’s family will wake up and find you hovering over their son in his sleep like a crazy stalker.

Eventually, too tired to keep trying, you pass out next to the slumbering tech talker.

You only closed your eyes for a second, at least you thought you did. Jolting awake, you notice your position is now switched with the tech talker, your tired body under his covers while he sits hunched over next to you, head resting on his crossed arms.

He lifts his forehead up, holding out your cell for you, “Namjoon won’t stop calling, I texted back saying you were busy, but I don’t think he believed it.”

You snatch the phone out of his hands, glaring. Namjoon is the person you should be with right now, not waking up in Yoongi's room. You turn around burying your head in his pillow, thinking of an excuse for Namjoon, upset you had to start your vacation lying to him again. What happened last night felt like a nightmare.

You never had anything against the aloof tech talker until now. There was a point last night where you thought you had put Yoongi in a coma and he’d never wake up, but he looks down at you now so indifferently it makes you want to rip his hair out for crying over him.

So you do, yanking at his hair, twisting the strands tightly in your grip, you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes again. “We could have both died, you idiot!”

He winces, reaching for your hair too. He’s much stronger than you, yanking your body back down. “Y/n, why aren’t you using your powers to get out of this?”

You can feel angry tears escape you, frustrated and still so tired, not understanding the point he’s trying to make. “Because I don’t want to use them?! You and everyone else act like what happened is a gift, or a calling; an improvement to your shitty fucking lives. I never wanted any of this! It’s a fucking curse!” The entire property shakes in your rage. It’s too much, you feel everything. You can hear the worried cries from his parents waking up in the other room. “Let me go,” lowering your voice, you cry softly. Yoongi looks down at you, sharp eyes still searching for something, cradling your head.

“Calm down, don’t let your powers control you,” his words are stern but soft and he waits for you to stop crying. “Thinking it’s a curse or a gift, it’s not going to change anything, it’s part of you. You always hold back, we all notice it, you need to learn how to master your abilities.”

“Why?! So I can do all the things you and Taehyung tell me to do?” you cry, dizzy, unable to control the shaking in your voice and the shaking of the house.

His finger wipes the wetness off your cheek. “No, not for us, for you. You don't listen to us anyways,” he smiles. The affection from him, after everything...just upsets you more. You didn't want to accept it felt comforting, instead you shove him away.

“Why do you care so much?!”

“Why do you care so little for anyone who’s not Namjoon?!” he asks, irritated, “when all you do is fight?!”

You really want to shut Yoongi up, you really want to open up a hole in the ground and fall inside. You did revolve your life around Namjoon since you were children, after all, and honestly, in this moment, all you really want is Namjoon to come save you from Yoongi’s horrible truths. “You’re right, just p-please stop.”

“Promise me you’ll think about what I just said. Taehyung helped all of us master our powers, we can help you.” He wipes away your falling tears until you calm down, until you finally nod at him.

---

“What do you want now?” you stand in front of Yoongi in your pajamas and a jacket, freezing. You received Yoongi’s message to meet him at the park via your computer.

“Come sit,” he motions to the empty swing next to him, moving back and forth on his own swing.

“You know these late night hook ups are not doing it for me.”

“Still playing hero with Namjoon I see” he asks. He didn't like the fact that you spent the entire day with Namjoon, he had thought he had finally gotten through to you last night.

Did you and Namjoon go to the annual Christmas festival this morning, yes. It was for a good cause, you told yourself. The funds raised would help the town and the community. Did you also happen to use your powers to save a performer from hurting himself when he accidently fell off a horse dressed like a reindeer, yes. It made Namjoon smile at you, your favorite dimpled grin, for the first time in months, and you were discreet so no one could tell, you told yourself. Yoongi could tell.

“And so what if I am? It’s none of your business anyways,” you say irritated, sitting on the empty swing in a huff.

“Because you’re not a hero.” You know you’re not. But for some reason when Yoongi says it, it greatly offends you.

“Fuck you. Maybe I took your advice and decided to embrace my powers for the greater good.” ‘Ew.’ “You know, ‘New year, new me,’”

“Planning to become Namjoon’s little sidekick?”

You scoff, “He would be my sidekick if anything, you ass.”

“So...are you going to betray us then?” he asks, suddenly serious.

You roll your eyes, how many times do you have to defend yourself to Yoongi? “I never said that. You guys are so goddamn annoying sometimes.”

When you agreed on using your clean up business as a cover for Taehyung’s illegal operations, you didn’t think you would become as close as you are now to the group. On paper, your old classmates worked for you, and their superpowers made cleanups so much easier, but more often you were pulled into their hijinks, asked to help steal, spy...punish. You did it because the people you were punishing were the type of people who never faced the consequences of their actions. You did it because Taehyung’s goals were a beautiful fantasy you hoped he would someday accomplish, even if his means were violent. It’s not like the rest of the world wasn’t just as violent. It’s not like you weren’t violent, your own powers unfortunately thrived in chaos.

Yoongi scoffs, “Do you think I want to spend all my free time watching you in case you flip? I have better things to do.”

You glare at him. “Then fucking leave. I’m not going to stop Joon, I thought that was clear when we decided all this.”

“Yeah, well, we all thought you’d get over your childhood crush eventually.”

“He is not my crush, he’s my best friend.” You grit out, trying to calm yourself as little specks of sand levitate at your feet.

“Is that what Namjoon would call you now, his best friend?” The sand falls back into place as you swing quietly, defeated. He's right, you were best friends. What were you now? Have you just been living in the past? You can’t even say for sure if Namjoon even likes the person you’ve become now, much less consider you a friend.

Yoongi sees your fallen attitude, and he feels bad for pushing you, even if it needed to be done. He needed to make sure Namjoon didn’t turn you against them. He stands up and swings you instead, softly holding your shoulders with every push. “Listen, I’m not trying to make you feel like shit, but after listening to you guys all day…” he groans, “Namjoon doesn’t understand you.”

You and Namjoon didn’t always see eye-to-eye on things, but his convictions make him the person you’ve always admired, and maybe you needed something like Joon, someone who makes you a better person.

“Are you willing to change everything about yourself to make him happy?” You stay silent, letting him swing you back and forth. The swing creaks, and you don’t utter a word. “Like I said before, you can do better.”

“Oh yeah, who? Taehyung?”

He stops the swing abruptly, hands around your waist, pulling you back.

“No...” His warm breath tickles your cold cheek. You can see the clouds of your own heavy breathing forming.

“...let me go.”

He obeys, untangling his arms from around your waist and letting you swing forward with the momentum.

“I’m not only here to visit my parents. So if you’re going to keep up this good girl charade, don’t interfere with what I have to do.”

“Let me in on the details.” you ask, curious.

Yoongi shakes his head, pushing you higher “Ah ah ah. How do I know you aren’t going to tattle on me? How am I supposed to trust you now?”

You sigh, turning your head to your left. “Feel that?” you whisper.

“Saw them coming on the CCTV.”

“Oh look, outsiders! Don’t you know it’s not safe to be out after dark?” You and Yoongi turn to see a group of young men, clearly looking for trouble. How dare they call you and Yoongi outsiders. Kids these days.

“Oh, perfect timing! Since I can’t hit him,” you keep swinging, gesturing to your companion. Yoongi laughs darkly. The group look at you with a mixture of confusion and greatly misplaced overconfidence.

“Gonna help or just watch?”

“Go right ahead,” he yawns, stretching, “I’m not going to hold you back.”

---

“I like your style, y/n.”

“Thanks.” you stretch your neck, walking home with Yoongi. You hand him the stack of new phones you acquired (since you promised Namjoon no wallets). “Find anything useful?” You watch as the screens go haywire under Yoongi’s touch.

“Nah, just a bunch of punks.” He stretches again, massaging his shoulder. You notice when he winces.

“That’s still bothering you? You know, I can fix that for you,” you hum, hands in your pockets. “I’ve done it for Joon.”

“Alright,” he says, placing the phones on top of an empty bench, all except one. “I’ll take you home first.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever snuck a guy in my room before,” you laugh, holding the window open for Yoongi.

“Not even Namjoon?”

“We would usually meet in the forest when we wanted to sneak out. You know the one close to the school?”

“Yeah, I used to meet my friends there all the time.” he says, lying on your bed, making himself at home.

You sit on the floor next to him, remembering the night you and Namjoon saw the shooting star. “At night? Take off your hoodie.”

‘Yeah,” he says as he removes the offending material. You reach under his shirt, The moment your skin touches him you feel a shock of static electricity, yelping from the jolt.

“Is that a normal thing?” You ask, annoyed. He grunts in confirmation. You move your arm higher, following the length of his body until you settle on his collar bone.

You concentrate on Yoongi’s shoulder, where the muscles are more tense and tight. “Do you remember the night you got your powers?” Yoongi grunts again. If you weren’t trying to heal him right now, you’d smack him. “Were you in the woods then?”

“Yeah, just figured it out?” Yoongi adjusts his body, slumping into your covers. “Thought you were smarter than that.”

Your eye twitches. This man really likes to annoy you. Inside your own bedroom, while you are helping him, no less. “Did you find it?”

“Find what?”

“What caused the green light, Joon and I looked all night...”

“No, I was with Jin at the time. The moment we saw it, Jin started freaking out. He said he was hearing voices, he almost passed out from all the noise in his head. I would have thought he went crazy, but then I started hearing noises myself.”

“You did? How the hell do your powers work exactly?”

“So you can tell your superhero boyfriend how to take me down? Are you going to tell me how you do this?” He gestures to your position.

You lean on your free hand, watching Yoongi comfortably rest while you do all the work. Even if he annoys you so much, you can’t imagine a scenario where you would betray him like that.

“I don’t even know how to explain it, to be honest. It’s like when you look at a forest. You don’t think of anything particular, you see the whole forest for what it is, but if you start concentrating, it becomes all these tiny little pieces that fit together to make up what you see; animals, insects, rivers, trees. I manipulate one tree and then another, eventually I’ve changed the forest. I feel you the same way.”

“I can feel your energy too.”

“Really?”

“I studied about it when I first realized my powers. Human bodies create electricity. It’s small, but it’s there.” But you, radiate the most he's ever felt.

You always thought Yoongi’s powers were pretty limited, but you’re learning every day there’s more to him. “So could you take energy, could you drain a body?!”

“Damn y/n, that's dark. No, I don’t control things like that, the closest I can explain it is-I’m borrowing energy. It’s a flow, a line of communication I can tap into, with more sophisticated devices it can become a whole conversation, or as simple as, ‘off’-” The lights turn off, plunging you into darkness. “-or ‘on’-” the computer monitor turns on, screen light filling the space.

“Hmm, still don’t really get it.” You press the computer button off with your mind. You understand the physical. You can feel currents of electricity but you can’t pick them up, move them like you would a tree or a desk. Even Hoseok’s lightning can knock you off your feet if you’re not paying attention. “You tell my lamp to turn on and off, are you saying my lamp could decide not to listen to you?”

Yoongi laughs. “You could think of it like that, it happened a lot in the beginning. I couldn’t control my powers. You could say I learned to be persuasive.”

“Same with Joon.” You’re tired. “Scoot over.”

You fit your body next to his on your tiny childhood bed. “What about the others? They were in the forest too, then? Do you know what happened to them?”

“Yeah,” he grunts, “Taehyung was with Jimin and Jungkook. They said they immediately felt the effects too, it was pretty crazy for them. Hoseok was all alone, he was biking along the forest when he saw it.”

“Oh shit.”

“He said he didn’t even know he had powers until he got upset one day. It took him awhile to even believe he was doing it.”

“Poor Hobi.” You look down at his bracelet still around your wrist.

“Yeah, he was in bad shape, luckily he crossed paths with Taehyung and the others, they helped him get control of his powers. I wish Jin and I had met Taehyung before moving to the city.”

You ask something that has been bothering you ever since you found out Namjoon and you weren’t alone in your abilities. “Why didn’t you ever reach out to Joon? That video was all people could talk about.”

“We figured it was someone from our class, but we didn’t know it was Namjoon! Jin had no control over his powers until we met up with Tae. He encouraged us to train our powers like a muscle. And no offense, but we all thought ‘RM’ was pretty dumb going public..”

“He was doing what he thought was right,” you frown, defending him. “You should have reached out, things could have been different.”

Yoongi scoffs, “And what about you? You were his best friend and you didn’t even tell him you had powers.” You guess he has a point there. “How did you hide it from him?”

You smile, Namjoon was smart when it came to books, other things...not so much. “The morning after, I felt different, but I didn’t think anything of it. Then after everything that happened with Joon, it scared me. I think my body just repressed everything out of fear, until...”

“Until?”

“Joon was being an idiot, really. He realized he could fly too, but he couldn’t properly land. He’d make massive holes wherever he went and run into trees and things. He was going to crash land into a car, I didn’t even realize it was me who moved it, I just wanted him not to get hurt.” you murmur, remembering how stressful those days were. “Once I finally came to terms that I had powers, Joon was already going out in a cape saving people like a real superhero. I couldn’t tell him then.” You had been too afraid he would have persuaded you to join him.

Yoongi flexes his fingers, sparks of electricity jump between his finger pads. You cuddle against his shoulder, sleepy. “It’s like you recharged me,” he says quietly. You hum.

“Now tell me your plans here, other than keeping an eye on me.” Yoongi stays silent. “Come on! I thought we were having a moment!”

Silence. “Or I could just break your arm and heal it again until you tell me,” you mumble into his shoulder impatiently.

Yoongi laughs at that, “Go ahead, I wanna see you do it.”

“Well now you just took the fun out of it,” you grumble. “Yoongi?” He grunts. “Do you ever think about what would have happened if you stayed friends with Joon? Became a superhero instead?’

Yoongi knows it’s not really him you’re asking for. “All that attention sounds like a nightmare. Also me in spandex?”

“Your hand runs down his torso, feeling his muscles as you pull your hand out from under his shirt. “I think you’d look pretty good.”

Everything is calm now, and you look at him without any resentment in your eyes, even though he was currently trying very hard to ruin your relationship with your oldest friend. Yoongi would second guess himself, if it weren’t for the fact that he could feel just how much energy was radiating off your body in that moment. “Would you give me a chance then, if I was a superhero?”

You snort. “What do you mean ‘chance’? I already got you in my bed,” you tease.

In your dark bedroom, you can only see Yoongi’s silhouette as he shifts his body to look at you. “I have a feeling I would piss a lot of people off if I decide to do what I’m thinking right now.” He teases you by running his fingertips along your arm. In the darkness, blue sparks emerge between your bodies.

“Whoa.”

“It’s coming from you, y/n.”

“Pretty cool-” You wiggle your fingers against his palm, watching sparks appear and dissipate. He grips your hand in his, so energized now, his powers were reaching to the satellites above the sky.

“I see now why they fight over you.”

“What are you saying, it’s not about my lovely personality? I’m offended.”

“If I was Joon, I would fight every day to be by your side.”

“You would lose.” you say dismissively.

He smiles, “I would still fight. You’d be worth it..”

You look up at him, “You just want me for my powers.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi agrees. “To have someone who wants to heal me just because she notices I’m in a bit of pain, someone as loyal and as beautiful as you, of course I’d want that.” There's more truth in his words than he wants to admit.

“That is definitely not going to work on me,” you lie, already feeling overwhelmed by his words.

Yoongi smirks, moving closer to you. “Okay then, maybe I just want to see these again.” His hand squeezes your breast, thumb rubbing your nipple through your night shirt.

Biting your lip, you arch your back into his touch. “Now that I believe.” You softly moan as he moves his body over yours, hands digging into your waist, pushing the end of your nightshirt up until your breasts are exposed.

His tongue runs along the curves of your breasts, sucking the sensitive nub into his mouth. The feeling is electric. Actually electric, small shocks of pleasure jolt through your body. He massages your breasts in his large hands, burying his face into your cleavage. You keep your moans quiet, but the bed creaks dangerously loud, a reminder you’re not alone in your apartment, you’re at your parents house, where the walls are paper thin.

“Y-You should go,” you hold his head in your palms, squishing his cheeks, and despite Yoongi’s sharp eyes, you think he looks cute.

His hand finds its way inside your pajama pants, dipping a single finger inside you, pressing into you until he hits his knuckles. “You sure?” Yoongi’s movements are skillful, and his touch, like his personality, gets straight to the point and doesn’t waiver; if he wants you to come for him, you will.

You groan in pleasure and bite down on the newly repaired muscle of his shoulder, testing him to see if he would pull away. But he looks into your challenging eyes with a challenge of his own, until you’re overwhelmed by pleasure, forgetting your indignation, eyes rolling back in pleasure instead, mouth releasing his shoulder, opening wider in a soft moan as your body shakes in rhythm to his fingers.

Namjoon was always careful, even if he didn't know his strength. Yoongi on the other hand, did not treat you gently, he took what he wanted, let pleasure rule above all. He may not be as strong as Joon, but he acted just as imposing and intimidating, an impressive quality that you’ve always liked about him. And now...

As he was brutally pounded your body into the carpet of your old childhood room, his dominance made you tingle. Or maybe it was his powers. Your skin felt hot under the rub of being pulled back and forth against his hard length. His tongue in your mouth stole your breath away, it felt so good, his soft lips and demanding touch.

“Y-Yes, fuck me harder.”

That was something Yoongi definitely had no objections to.

---

“Where are we going?” You follow Namjoon deep into the forest.

He carries four large bags, you follow behind him, telepathically moving tree branches out of the way that threaten to tear the plastic, your old friend not even noticing the way he bumps into the scenery.

“You don’t recognize this place?” he teases.

You did, yet still an uneasiness settled inside you even though you’ve taken this path a hundred times before. It was the path you and Namjoon used to take when you were kids.

“I remember.”

“Come on then!” He jumps on top of a familiar rock, one you used to lay on and watch the stars together on school nights. The sun beamed down on your old friend high above you, and he felt so far away. Yoongi's words were getting to you. Tired from the climb, you float your body next to his, peering into one of the bags.

“What’s this?!” You smile and drop down, seeing a garland of popcorn in one of the bags.

“We’re decorating a tree!” Namjoon smiles cutely. “When we arrived you seemed upset your parents had already set up theirs. You used to always help me with mine.”

You smile, wondering if he really missed you as much as you missed him. “Hmm yeah that was fun.” Tilting your head back you survey the massive trees. “This might be the biggest tree we’ve decorated yet.”

Namjoon hoovers above the ground, the sight makes you realize he really doesn’t use his flight unless he’s doning his RM superhero outfit. “Doesn’t look that big from here!” he yells.

This reminds you of the days you spent together before he took his powers so seriously. Your spirits are lifted up by how carefree he’s acting.

And so, you, lift, too.

---

You spent all day decorating the tallest forest tree with edible ornaments for the wildlife and zooming around the forest with Namjoon, lost in your own world. Namjoon helped of course, but mostly watched you, mesmerized by your powers.

When you were alone together you didn't worry about anything else, he didn't feel the weight of his responsibilities out in the forest, he didn't have to do anything, he just had to make you laugh.

Like now, your laughter filling the quiet forest. Namjoon picks you up, hands around your waist, so you lift his body up using your powers, and he flies you both higher, over the forest.

“It's cold!” You laugh, leaning into him, burying your face into his chest until he brings you both down again.

You chanced a kiss, warm in Namjoon's embrace. And deepen it when he kisses you back.

Namjoon kissed you pressed up against a tree, holding your body firm. He missed your soft lips and your hot mouth, he missed the curves of your body, the softness of your breasts and stomach, the heat of your sex, but most of all, he missed the throaty melody of his name moaned out by your voice.

He missed it so much that when he comes he doesn't stop, his hips thrusting into you until his name leaves your lips again. When Namjoon comes for a second time, he can feel the hot wet pulsing of your walls around him as you let go, your bodies wound tightly around one another too much like lovers, your eyes staring into his with so much love and desire he has to recatch his breath.

---

At the end of the day you both lied under the decorated tree, admiring your handiwork and watching birds flock to the edible decorations.

“This was fun,” you sigh, lying against his warm chest.

“Just keeping you out of trouble,” Namjoon jokes, but you don’t see the humor in it.

You sit up. “What do you mean?”

Namjoon can already tell you took his joke the wrong way. “Calm down, I was only kidding.”

“Do you think you have to keep me in check? You think I’m a danger to society or something? Is that why you brought me out here into the middle of the forest?” It was hard not to let your insecurities surface, with the fear that once you leave your hometown Namjoon will become cold and distant to you just like before.

“What?! N-No! We always used to come here!”

“You know, before you found out about my powers, I was constantly cleaning up your messes. I still do!”

If you wanted to go there, Namjoon would go there. “So it wasn’t you who trapped a dozen men inside the jungle gym last night. The fire department had to cut them out, it was all over the morning news, y/n. They could have frozen to death outside.”

“You’re being dramatic,” you mutter.

“What were you doing last night? Looking for trouble with Yoongi?! You could have called me for help, or you should have called the police-”

You snort. “Yeah, looks like the police have everything handled around here. It was never like this when we were kids. The police budget's tripled here and crime is the worst it's ever been, maybe RM should look into that before telling me I can’t-”

“Alright alright,” Namjoon pulls off his glasses, rubbing his temples. Another argument with you was exactly what he was trying to avoid. “I get it, I get it. You think you’re above the law.”

“THE POLICE THINK THEY ARE ABOVE THE LAW.”

Namjoon groans, “Your sound like V!” Namjoon yells back at you, slamming down his fist. “DO YOU THINK THAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO KILL PEOPLE?” It always ends up back to this argument, and you never are going to apologize for that. The impact from his fist crumbles the rock under his fist, creating a large crack down the middle and shaking the ground.

He looks at the broken rock, years of his childhood now blemished. “Shit. Fix it, y/n, please.”

“...no.”

---

“Wow, so you actually come out in daylight.”

You lean against your parent’s door in your pajamas. You were planning on staying in bed until the new year passed, and then your mom dragged you out of your room, talking excitedly about a handsome stranger asking for you.

“Get dressed, I want to take you somewhere,” Yoongi says.

“Why?” you ask skeptically.

“You’re a ‘good girl’ now, right?” Yoongi mocks, “We’re gonna go do some good around here. Hurry up!”

You glare at him, utter annoyance replacing your pathetic despondency. You turn around swiftly, headed to your room. “Wear something you don’t mind getting dirty!”

You walk silently next to Yoongi, curious as hell as to where he’s taking you.

“That festival you went to, did you know the town Governor holds that every year?”

“Yeah.”

“All those ticket sales, he’s supposed to use those donations to help our community, right?”

“Yeah…”

He leads you by the hand to a group of volunteer tents, introducing you to one of his friends. “Hey, has The Governor given any financial aid to you guys since winning re-election?” His friend just laughs at him instead of answering. Yoongi hands you a bucket full of tools.

“We’re here to actually help our community. You, beautiful, are going to help ‘fix-up’ these houses while I ‘fix’ their electricity.” He leads you into a run down neighborhood. The houses on the street look all but abandoned. “Most of these houses belong to senior citizens, really old, so they won’t notice when you use your powers. However-” he whispers. “Take this opportunity to work on your subtly,” he places your hands down to your sides. “Our powers come from our mind. I don’t have to say, ‘on’ and ‘off’ anymore, you shouldn’t have to move your arms for small things like this.”

---

You sigh, “You know, Joon would have loved to help with something like this. You should have let him come too, Yoongi.”

Yoongi nods. “I know. I did.”

“What?” The wistful smile on your face falls.

“Your friend tends to be rigid in his ideals, can we agree on that?”

“What are you saying?” you ask confused.

Yoongi pulls the end of his shirt up to wipe the dirt off his face. “A lot of these people are squatters. They refinanced their homes to pay off debt and couldn’t keep up with the interest.”

Yoongi sighs, “I gave them stolen electricity, y/n, something the power company can’t turn off. I let him know what I was going to do. He didn’t want to be a part of it, but he promised not to stop me. I’m sorry I kept it a secret from you, mad at me?”

“I’m not mad.” you say, stunned. “Did you really explain it to him? About why they can't pay?”

“Should I have to? I think it should be a basic human right, don’t you?” he shrugs, “You can try though, if you want. He’d probably see it differently coming from you,” he runs his finger across your cheek, wiping away dirt. “He doesn’t like me now that we’re close.”

“Joon isn’t like that.”

Yoongi could have told you Namjoon threatened him to stay away from you. But the way both of you have been acting recently, clearly upset with each other, he didn’t feel like upsetting you even more, screw Taehyung’s mission.

An old woman comes over to you and Yoongi, handing you a loaf of fruit bread she made as a thank you gift for fixing her home, the new insulation and heat will keep her warm this winter. You give Yoongi half. In many ways Namjoon and Yoongi still act the same as when you were kids, even when the most life changing phenomenon happened to all of you, Yoongi still finds ways to help those who can’t help themselves. Namjoon does everything in his power to do what he thinks is just. But you’re starting to realize you’ve changed a lot.

---

Knock Knock Knock. It’s become a habit to knock in the pattern Namjoon knows.

“H-Hey.”

You haven’t seen him in awhile, not since you blew up on each other. “Hey. Your mom wanted me to come over and help her make dumplings?”

“Oh. OH! Oh thank god, come inside, she keeps making me redo mine,” Namjoon whines, pulling you inside and dragging you to the table you used to do your homework on.

“Y/n! You came! Hopefully my son will cheer up now.” She gives Namjoon a stern look that makes you laugh.

Throughout your stay you tried to bring up Yoongi, but Namjoon dismissed all your attempts. You wondered if he really disliked Yoongi that much, and why.

When you walk home that evening, head full of questions; when you walked passed a fight, you almost didn't stop. But you did, regretfully.

You noticed the struggle outside a convenience store, a man and police guard fighting. The man looks very familiar-

“Hey! I thought I told you not to do that anymore!”

“Oh fuck no, no no no-”

“Stop struggling!” The guard yells, trying to secure handcuffs around the robber. You cross your arms over your chest, willing the robber's body to stop moving.

The police guard shoves the man into the concrete, screaming again, “Stop resisting!” But he's not resisting, because you are purposefully keeping him still.

The robber screams in pain. You see the items he stole scattered around the concrete. Food and...baby formula.

Fuck. What would the old you do? Mind your own damn business. What would Joon do? Let the police handle it? No, you can't believe he would do that. What would the you in this very pivotal moment do?

You search for the closest street camera, looking pleadingly for help. Pulling out your cell out, you start recording the officer. “Yoongi,” you mutter under your breath, “Help me out here,” hoping for once the tech talker was still stalking you via your electronics.

“Are you recording me?”

“Yep. It's almost Christmas, can't you just let him off with a warning?”

“Ma'am if you don't step back right now, I'll arrest you too!”

There is a loud sound, like someone pressed onto a car horn and kept their hand down, folllowed by the familiar sound of police sirens, the guard's car activated and blaring it's lights. Then the street lights and store loses power, bathing everyone in hues of blue and red. You mentally thank Yoongi.

“It's h-her! S-She's doing it!”

“First of all, no, second of all, I'm trying to help you out here, asshole.”

The police guard reaches for his gun and that's when you really do use your powers.

Now that the guard was knocked out, you release your hold on the robber. “Here,” you hold out your arm, baby formula in your hand. The robber swipes it, holding the can close to his chest. Struggling with what to do next.

“Crazy witch, stay away from me!”

And Namjoon finds this rewarding?

---

You were not spying on Min Yoongi.

You had just grown accustomed to his late night requests. And when he didn’t ask you to meet him today, you just wanted to make sure he was okay. So you might have searched for him using your telekinesis, but it wasn’t spying!

You went to the tallest point you could find and tried to “see” him in your mind, concentrating until you found a figure that took up a Yoongi-sized space, who moved in a distinctive walk like Yoongi, who radiated an insane amount of energy...

So that’s how you found yourself out for a midnight stroll, on the opposite end of town, close to the neighboring powerplant.

“There’s cameras everywhere, you think I didn’t notice you?” The tech talker turns around, staring in your direction. You step out from the shadows, not spying.

“What a coincidence that we just ran into each other like this.”

“Lucky me.”

“Well, what the hell are you doing across town, the night before Christmas lurking around like the Grinch?”

“Oh, just here to cause some trouble. Going to stop me, Miss Magician?”

“What do you mean ‘cause trouble’?” A powerplant and Yoongi in the same equation, sounds like an answer you’re going to regret solving.

“I’m destroying that.” He gestures to the plant. Yep, instant regret. “Now that you’re here, can you do it for me?”

“Yoongi, what the hell?!”

“Fine, make it difficult for me.”

“Why is it always the hot guys?” you sigh. “You’re absolutely insane, you know that right?”

“So you think I’m hot?” Yoongi smirks.

Your eyes narrow on him, “Don’t act like it’s a revelation. If you wanna destroy this powerplant, be my guest, but you think Joon won’t notice if suddenly half the town loses power on Christmas Eve?”

But Yoongi is not paying attention to you, he’s already walking towards the quiet building.

“You’re going to be ruining a lot of Christmases if you do this!” you warn.

Yoongi scoffs, hands in his pockets.

“Wait wait wait!” you tug on his arm, stopping him momentarily.

“Looks like your boyfriend is rubbing off on you after all.”

You clench your jaw, trying to calm yourself, “He’s not my boyfriend.” The lights flicker around you, and you’re not sure which one of you is to blame.

“Can you just explain to me why you need to destroy this powerplant?”

“Sure. This plant has been overcharging customers for years. Would rather pay fines to the government because they still make more off of scamming our community. I destroy it, a new company Taehyung has lined up takes over, and these selfish bastards get fucked-”

“Okay…Okay…can’t it be after Christmas then. You’re trying to fuck over the company, right, not the residents, don’t take away their Christmas! Please Yoongi, please.” Hoping to convince him, the last thing you need right now is to get stuck in another fight with Namjoon.

“Alright,” Yoongi relents, “But before the new year this power plant is shutting down.”

---

“Thank you, for the compromise,” you walk slowly through the town with the tech talker. “I mean it, thank you.” You didn’t want to fight with Yoongi too, especially on Christmas Eve.

“I take it Namjoon doesn’t compromise very often.”

‘Try never,’ you think. “Anyways, it’s past midnight, Merry Christmas, Yoongi.”

Yoongi grunts. But then he stops you, pulling on your elbow.

“What’s wrong?”

“Merry Christmas,” he says, pulling you into a hug.

“Ow,” you giggle, receiving a small shock of static electricity as his head moves away from your cheek. Yoongi laughs softly, unwilling to move away any further. His presence was something you were growing to enjoy, so when his nose nudged yours, you didn’t try to stop him or push him away.

Before your lips touch, you feel Yoongi’s familiar spark, pricking the delicate skin. His lips drag along yours, warming up your insides in the winter cold. You almost don’t notice the wind that shifts, a figure zooming into the night sky. Almost…Namjoon.

“You…d-did that on purpose…” you say, pushing Yoongi away.

“Yeah I saw Namjoon coming,” he says, yanking you back, “But I kissed you because I wanted to, y/n. Fuck, not everything has to do with Namjoon.”

His body tenses and he falls to his knees. You looked down at him, held him there, trying not to cry or scream or destroy everything in your radius. Namjoon had seen you kiss Yoongi. You and Namjoon weren’t together, so why did you feel so devastated?

Captive in your powers, he didn’t resist. He didn’t look afraid like your usual captives, Yoongi just watched you silently while your emotions swirled around inside of you, your own restraints tightening around your heart.

You want to go to Namjoon, but you knew you would only make things worse. Falling to your knees in front of Yoongi, you release him from your telekinetic hold. You don’t know what you expected him to do in that moment, but you hadn’t expected he would wrap his arms around you, pulling you into a comforting hug.

---

A soft rapting on glass wakes you up. You peek outside your curtains and see RM standing outside your window. It was Joon, in his signature superhero suit, transformed into RM.

“Joon? What’s going on?” you ask apprehensively. You jump outside, shivering, a light robe hastily pulled around your body. He stood stoic, you couldn’t see the anger he felt, but you knew Namjoon long enough to notice the glimpses, the cracks, in his demeanor. He stood, strong as a god, tortured with his thoughts.

“I wanted to give you this before I go back into the city.”

“You’re leaving right now?” he nods as you hold a small gift wrapped in green paper. “I have something for you too.” Placing a hand behind your back you pull Namjoon’s gift from your bedroom, it zips through the air and lands in your palm. It was a pocket watch. You engraved it yourself using your powers.

“I love it.” Your gift box held silver drop earrings, the ends came to a sharp point like two tiny daggers. “They’re beautiful.”

“My hero…” he reads the engraving outloud, voice breaking.

You bite your lip, unable to feel anything but sadness. You busy your hands by putting the earrings on. “How do I look?”

“I saw them and thought of you.” He touched the end of the earring with his finger, the sharp point pricking his skin. “Beautiful and dangerous,” he laughs sadly to himself.

You grab his hand, pressing your fingers on his, his cut is gone when you remove them. “Dangerous only when I want to be,” You try to joke with him, holding his hand, you notice his red knuckles, “What h-happened?”

He lost his temper, he lost control, he used his superpower for his own selfish reasons, he had wanted to destroy things, use his fists to release the anger he felt inside watching another man kiss you.

You shiver and wrap your arms around your body, and Namjoon surprises you by pulling you into a hug.

“I wish it wasn’t like this.”

“Y/n...I hate doing this alone. I hate fighting with you.” A naive part of him thought you would have changed your mind by now, want to be by his side.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I upset you.”

He pulls away from you, “From now on, we should stay away from each other.”

“W-What? W-Why?”

“When I’m around you...I-I’ve done things I’m not proud of...you’re changing me. It was supposed to be the other way…I can’t do this with you anymore.”

Your heart felt divided, cracked by his words.

“Namjoon, I love you.” You proclaimed your love, even though you knew love wasn’t enough to save your relationship.

Yoongi watches from inside your bedroom. “Don’t do it, don’t do it,” he mutters under his breath, watching Namjoon fight his feelings for you. He wanted Namjoon out of your life for his own selfish reasons now. What can he do?? He uses all his power to form a strong electrical charge, red sparks flash across your ceiling behind you, lighting up your room.

“Just stay with me until the New Year, please,” you plead, eyes welling up with tears. Hoping to mend the last threads of your friendship. You can fix everything, why can't you fix your relationship with Namjoon?! But Namjoon has made up his mind, he received the message from Yoongi. The strongest man in the world can’t have any weaknesses, he can’t have you.

Sighing, Yoongi sends Taehyung a message now that you’re alone.

‘RM is headed your way. Y/n is with me. Keep him busy.’’

“How did you find me?” You continue watching the stars in the sky, lying on the familiar rock, the crack Namjoon accidentally created is now gone.

Yoongi lies down next to you. “I haven’t been out here in forever.”

Settling down by your side, Yoongi reaches over to touch your left ear. “Let me guess, a parting gift from your dear friend?” You hum. “It’s a tracker,” Yoongi says. “I tapped into it.”

“Is it?” you say, unphased. You probably should feel betrayed. You feel nothing.

“I just think it's strange, he wants nothing to do with you, but he wants to know where you are all the time.”

You stay silent. Right now you didn’t want to talk to Yoongi, you just wanted to forget about Namjoon.

“I’m just saying, those aren’t the actions of someone who wants you out of their life.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You didn’t want to talk about it or think about it, and you knew the irony of coming to the place that held so many memories for you and Namjoon. But it was easier pretending to be back in the past, where you and Namjoon were best friends again and not enemies.

“I’m sorry,” You’re not used to hearing Yoongi without his usual detached drawl. His tone is soft and soothing, and you melt into the way he runs his hands along your arms comfortingly. “I know you’re hurt, but you’re not alone.”

Turning on your side, you look into Yoongi’s eyes, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

You held in your cries. You couldn’t let out your pain, but you could let go of your inhibitions. You rest your head against his, mouth moving closer. His lips, that’s what you wanted to feel instead of this sadness. His soft grunts of pleasure, that’s what you wanted to listen to instead of speaking about your pain. So you kissed him harder, ran our hands down his body, searching for a replacement for your pain, hungrily exploring him until you found it, moaning Yoongi’s name, your hand in his pants.

Your actions turned frantic, fingers tightly wrapped around his rock hard dick, slipping over his length, tasting his soft skin, licking his neck, taking what you wanted.

Yoongi wasn’t going to stop you, and pulled your hips down on him closer when you sat your body on top of his, not when it felt so good, and he had grown attached to the sweet flavor of your wildness and incredible power.

---

“Miss me?”

“Why don’t you just look into my mind and find out.”

“Oof, it’s like a Lifetime movie in there.”

You take a deep inhale, and then...throw Jin off the building.

“Ahh!”

“Shut up! You’re going to get us caught,” Yoongi hisses at Jin, who is currently suspended in mid air over the side of the building, trying to breast stroke his way back onto the rooftop. “y/n, come on, play nice for me.”

You roll your eyes, pulling Jin back. “I’ll let that one slide since you’re all mopey,” Jin says, fixing his jacket.

“I like the new look,” Jungkook materializes behind you and then materializes in front of you. It wasn’t a cape, but the long black coat you wore did look pretty cool. The dagger earrings Namjoon had gifted you dangle in your ears. You didn't care if they were trackers, you wouldn't part with them.

“Stop hopping around, you’re making me dizzy,” Seokjin complains.

“It’s kind of hard not to when I literally have to be in two places at once,” Jungkook appears behind Seokjin. Not only was Jungkook currently helping Yoongi, he had to keep Taehyung safe from a very irate RM, but he couldn’t tell you that.

“You and I could have handled it,” you whisper to Yoongi.

“Think of it as a team building exercise.”

“But not too loud,” Seokjin adds.

“What are we waiting for?” Jungkook pops up between you and Yoongi, draping his big arms around you both.

“Yoongi is pulling data files right now,” You say. The group plans to expose just how much electricity each house is using compared to what the company is billing the residents.

“Almost done. Jungkook hop through the building and send whoever is left inside back to their families, give them the night off.”

“Aye aye.” And Jungkook disappears again.

“And Jin, get the fuck off of y/n and do your job. Make sure we haven’t been spotted.”

“I can multitask,” Jins says, pulling you into a headlock. “Oh no he’s getting jealous.”

Jin relaxes his hold, hand nudging your chin, he points to a very flustered Yoongi. You smirk, “Are you?” The tech talker glares at the mind reader and Jin (telepathically) receives the message. He coughs, untangling himself from you.

Jungkook appears, letting you know he cleared the building. Only the guard, stationed at the front of the entrance, watching manipulated cameras Yoongi altered, remains.

“Ready?” Yoongi asks. You interlace your fingers, nodding. You extend your hand to Seokjin, “Want to watch the show or hop out?”

Seokjin hears your thoughts, the dull howls of anguish your brain manifests. The sadness you can’t escape and try to ignore, this current state of mind becoming your new normal. Just a glimpse into your mind makes him feel trapped in a hell.

“I’m staying. Can’t get rid of me so easily.” He holds your free hand and intertwines your fingers with his, laying a brief peck across your knuckles, trying in his own small way to lift your spirits. You roll your eyes, but smile at him, and inside you’re weeping.

Your eyes remain indifferent as you stare around at the powerplant you’re going to have to destroy, you didn’t really care about the mission, you were willing to flatten everything into the ground if they wanted you to, and part of you hoped they would ask.

Seokjin squeezes your hand, reminding you to focus. Your heels leave the rooftop, your feet leave the ground. You lift the men beside you too. Yoongi has gotten used to your levitation act, but Seokjin flounders next to you, that alone is worth using your powers on the pair. “Hop back in five, Kookie. ”

“Make it ten, gotta check on some things,” and the teleporter disappears once again.

You were used to fixing things, rebuilding buildings, never destroying one. Namjoon was The God of Destruction, not you. Namjoon… That's all you can think about again.

Steel snaps, machines fold in on themselves and explode, concrete disintegrates into a massive pile of dust, and when the dust clears the three of you overlook the massive hole where the large powerplant once stood.

Seokjin breaks the silence. “Goddamn.”

---

“Where’s Jungkook? He's late!”

“Put your hands up!”

The three of you turn around to beams of blinding light. Flashlights and guns point at you and your teammates. A pair of officers scream at you, aiming their pistols at you. “I thought JK said there was only one guard,” you hiss, holding your hands up.

“They were patrolling the area.” Seokjin says after listening to the policemen’s thoughts. “Damn unlucky...for them,” he mutters, hands in the air.

“Err it’s not what it looks like?” Jin speaks with a weary smile. Wearing all black had originally been a good idea, now the trio of you just looked way too suspicious.

“Get on the ground!!” Too quickly, the officers escalate the situation, hitting Yoongi and dragging him to the ground.

“Stop!” you yell when the officers attack Seokjin next, your temper quickly reaching it’s breaking point. You emotions already too wild, anger consuming you.

You catch Jin’s eyes, speaking in your mind, ‘Tell Yoongi to stop all the police cameras on my signal.’ He nods quickly, struggling on the ground.

You push down your anger, putting on your best impression of a helpless frightened woman. “What are you doing?! Please, please, don’t do this!” your voice quivers, on the brink of tears.

“Shut up and get down!” At your feet Yoongi yells loudly as the officer kicks him in the back. The second officer points his gun straight at you. And that is when you truly snap.

“Please, please don’t shoot...him.” you whimper, looking at the other officer. “Don’t shoot your partner…”

“What the hell are you-” he turns his head to his partner, who has his pistol pointed straight in his direction. “What the fuck?!”

“It’s not me! I c-can’t-”

“ What's wrong with you?! Put the fucking gun down!” The other officer draws his pistol again, aiming it at his frightened partner’s head.

You look at Yoongi. The signal he needed.

Two bullets fly as the cameras cut off.

The officer you controlled falls to the ground writhing in pain. Two intercepted bullets lodged in each of his legs by to your powers. “You should be thanking me. Your ‘partner’ was aiming for your head.” You kick him in the jaw and he falls unconscious.

You turn to the second man, paralyzed by fear and well, by you.

“Look at you,” you sigh, crouching down to look at him. “You’re so used to going unchallenged. You think you can do whatever you want because of it, hurt whoever you want, because you’re above the law, right? So how does it feel?” you ask, flicking his badge, “to have a taste of your own medicine?”

“You really shouldn’t have pissed her off, woman is not stable,” Jin quips, cradling his bruised ribs. The officer is red in the face, drooling from his struggle to free himself from your invisible shackles.

“What’s his name?” You ask Jin, looking straight in the eyes of the trembling officer. Jin says his full name. You reach for his pocket, pulling out his wallet.

“His address?” you ask, going through his cards, while Seokjin recites his home address.

“You missed the Apt number,” you flip his identification card between your fingers, “Number 1301.”

“Floor 3” Seokjin adds. A corner apartment.” He scrutinizes the officer’s wide eyes. “The keypad code is 64..50.” He laughs. “When you try not to think about something, your thoughts just become louder,” he taunts.

Your eyes narrow on the officer. “What is his wife’s name?” You can feel his body struggle against you when Seokjin answers.

“Does he have any children?”

“Wrap it up before more of them show up,” Yoongi warns you, he sends messages to the rest of the team, ten minutes have passed and Jungkook still hasn’t hopped back.

“Two, a sixteen year old and a five year old.”

You stand up, glowering down at him, speaking slowly to make sure the officer hears every veiled threat in your words. “What are their names?” Jin hesitates, wondering just how pissed you were, and searches your thoughts before he answers as the officer sits stunned and terrified.

“Where do they go to school?”

“Look at me, we know where you live. We know the names of your wife and children. We know where they go to school. The next time you’re there I could make you take your gun out just like I did right now…” you wait, emphasizing your point, “Or you could do us all a favor, find a way to explain that camera footage away and pretend this never happened.” You give him back the ability to speak and move his head.

He nods, too scared to speak. “Here’s your wallet back, I’ll keep this,” you hold onto his ID.

Jin stiffens, and then punches him in the face, knocking him out.

“What was that for?” You throw the officer’s ID into the pile of rubble, hoping your mind games worked on him.

“I didn’t want to hear his thoughts anymore.”

“Are we in the clear at least-”

“Whoa, what did I miss?” Jungkook materializes next to you.

“Let’s go!” Yoongi yells, the CCTV cameras alerting him you all needed to get out.

---

“What do you want? I told you not to bother me until after the New Year.”

It was Jungkook. He hopped himself beside you, you were back at Namjoon's spot, shunning everyone, watching the last of the decorations be consumed by wildlife. “Is this what you’re going to do? Mope around here while RM goes on a rampage?”

“A rampa-FUCK JUNGKOOK WARN ME.” you gasp, floundering on the floor trying to regain your sense of direction. “Is tha-”

“Warning!”

“Uggh.” You groan. “Yo-Yoongi?”

“Heal him. Hurry. He said you’ve done it before.” Jungkook had transported you to Yoongi’s passed out body, and then both of you to an abandoned building. “I’ll work on the decor.”

Yoongi had a black eye, swollen lip, gash over his temple. He looked thoroughly beat up. He moves, gaining consciousness.

“D-Did Namjoon do this to you?”

“No, it was probably some other overpowered pissed off superhero,” he wheezed.

“This won’t be pleasant.” You concentrate, using all your energy to repair his broken body quicker than you’ve ever done before, rejuvenating him so much so his entire being crackles with energy, energy you’ve given him.

“Whoa, I didn’t even have time to hop a table.” Jungkook appears, lying across two newly appears chairs, before disappearing and reappearing with aforementioned table.

“What happened?”

Jungkook appeared with a wide screen television and Yoongi used his powers to turn on it on to the news. A newscaster reports over the town wide electricity outage, and then the mysterious powerplant explosion, which left one police officer dead.”

‘DEAD? Jungkook, I thought you made sure-”

“I did!”

The face of that familiar officer’s partner flashes across the television. It was the face of the partner who you left with gunshots in his legs, very non-life threatening gunshots!

“Yeah, he was very much alive when I hopped them back to their police car.”

“So what the hell?!”

“Jin thinks his partner murdered him”

“He murdered his partner?! I definitely did not tell him to do that.”

“Well we're being blamed for it, RM figured out it was us who destroyed the powerplant.” Yoongi grunts. “RM blindsided me, used an EMP on me. Fuck, that shit hurt.”

“Jungkook, take me to Tae.”

---

The sunset seemed to shine brighter today. The motions of Taehyung's plan to fix what you had ruined in your hometown were progressing. Electricians from the all over the town and neighboring cities were working under the tech talker's supervision, an investigation into the Governor's spending was underway.

Which just leaves...

“Back already? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Y/n, come with me.” RM floats high above you. Body tense, expression full of anger.

“Going to expose me to the world as a super villain?”

“I will do what needs to be done to make sure you don't kill anybody else.”

You roll your eyes. You didn’t want to explain what really happened, try to make him see your side of things anymore. If Joon wanted to think you were truly a villain, you were going to let him.

“I know you're stronger, but let's see who's faster?”

So you and RM fought like enemies. When you threw the rubble left over from the powerplant at Namjoon, you pushed down your worries because you knew he could take the beating. When he held you in his crushing grip, it wasn't a warm embrace anymore. It hurt more to think he wanted hurt you rather than the pain itself. Before you could make one of the worst decisions of your life, Jungkook appeared and teleported the pair of you across the town until you both landed hard on concrete at the feet of a crowd.

“I thought we agreed to a warning,” you wheeze, still restrained by RM. “Oh, I know you,” you grunt, immediately recognizing a face in the crowd. Actually, you recognized almost all of them.

There was Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jin, along with the punks you dealt with that night with tech talker, the robber you helped escape among the crowd.

Yoongi had used the cell you gave him not only to keep tabs on the men, but reach out to them. He made a deal with them, in exchange for helping Taehyung, he would help them make money and they would all help make this town safer for their families.

“RM, let her go, it's not her fault,” Taehyung says calmly.

“Yeah, IT'S YOUR FAULT!” Namjoon charges Taehyung and you quickly freeze him.

“The officer died after we took the powerplant down, the reports were falsified, let us explain.” Seokjin says.

Namjoon breaks from your telekinetic hold momentarily as you struggled to hold him still, already brought to your knees fighting his superhuman strength, your shaking arms pressed into concrete, focusing your eyes on him, you finally release him when you feel him stop struggling.

Yoongi goes to your side, lifting your tired body up. “If you don't want to listen to us, listen to them,” Yoongi says.

You and Namjoon stay quiet as each man tells their story, the injustices they faced, especially at the hands of the police, constantly targeted, always fighting, always surviving, asking the hero to help them.

“Let's work together this one time, RM.” Taehyung says, keeping his distance. “There are criminals on both sides, we will help you stop your criminals, if you help us stop their criminals. Then if you want, we can go back to hating each other.”

You found out what happened to the dead police officer. Yoongi played you and RM the police car's dashcam audio. His partner shot him, killed him. His partner knew if he didn't cover up what happened, horrible things were going to happen, but he wanted to punish you, arrest you, get vengeance. They argued heatedly, the pain in the officer's legs made him angry and narrow sighted, and in the end, his partner killed him because he couldn't trust him.

Namjoon turned to you instead, you looked so different to him, yet there you stood, the dull eyes you had before glossed over with emotion again, his earrings shining in your ears.

“Are you really going to help me?”

“I'll stand by you, but I'm not wearing a cape.”

“No...” Namjoon utters, crossing his hands over his large chest. “No cape, no deal.” His gaze softens only for a second, only for you.

---

The whole town is out tonight watching the fireworks. One hour until midnight.

It didn’t matter what part of town you came from, sitting under the night sky and watching the magnificent light show put into perspective how tiny you were in this world, how spectacular living could be.

Somewhere in the crowd sits Namjoon and his parents, you could feel him close by.

You find the tech talker on his own, away from the crowd. You sit next to Yoongi. You check his expression, but he remains impassive, watching the fireworks quietly. You can see the bright colors reflected in his eyes.

“What are you thinking about?” you ask him quietly.

“I knew you would come sit here,” he sighs. The fireworks crackle and pop, loud booming noises followed by hundreds of sparks in the sky.

You scoff, ripping out the soft grass around you with your fingers and reattaching the strands, practicing with your powers, manipulating and “healing” the organic material, something new you were trying to master. Rainbows of colors light up Yoongi’s face. “Oh yeah? What made you come to that revelation?”

“Because,” he drapes his arm over your shoulder and leans in closer, knowing somewhere Namjoon was watching you. “We’re alike”

You laugh. “Oh, you also have feelings for our superhero?”

“I have people I love too, that I want to protect too, it’s safer for them if I keep my distance,” he says during a break in the display, when the night goes still and quiet again, “You did the right thing, letting him go.” After that night, to uncomplicate things, you decided you weren't going to ask for anything more from Namjoon, hopeful it would make your partnership easier.

“Great,” you sigh, leaning your head on Yoongi’s shoulder, resting your arm on his thigh. “We’re just a pair of lonely assholes.” The fireworks crackle again and colorful sparks fall down like rain, painting the night sky in dazzling light.

Yoongi smiles and holds your hand. You raise your eyebrows at him, “Why aren’t you kissing me?”

He scoffs, “You okay with that? With an audience?” You answer him with a kiss, pressing your body closer. He holds you while the fireworks around you explodes in flowers of light.

“Want to see something cool?” He whispers against your cheek, continuing to kiss you while his fingers play with yours, interlacing your hands together. “I’m gonna need a charge.” You feel his power pulling, energy flowing between your fingers. The loudest boom erupts from above, a firework exploding closer than the rest, making the crowd ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh.’

“Cute, but I’ll give you one better.” You use your powers to light a couple extra fireworks earlier than intended. The night sky illuminates with all the colors of the rainbows and the crowd cheers. You fall into a fit of giggles and Yoongi uses your distraction to pull you closer to him, tackling your body and laughing with you.

And poor Namjoon has to endure watching it all.

---

“Don't you think it's funny how he is the one up there? When we definitely are more powerful.”

You laugh at that. “Is that what you think?”

“You’ve never fought him, Jin. He does not give up,” Jungkook shudders.

“Hobi beat him!” Seokjin argues.

“It wasn’t easy,” Hoseok adds in a serious tone.

You bite your lip, “No, out of everyone, Joonie scares me the most.”

The start of the year meant a New Year ceremony from Mayor Kim. You watch Taehyung, surrounded by your new friends, as he gives RM a key to the city. It was a tradition now for the superhero, who was less than pleased it was Taehyung who stood opposite from him this year. Now that you were all back in the city, the agreement had dissolved. The crowd cheers loudly, unaware of their secret rivalry.

“You, scared?” Yoongi raises his eyebrow at you.

“She’s telling the truth,” Jin adds. “Can’t believe it,” he mutters.

“His heart is too big, he holds his power back, and that makes him the strongest. If you think I am the one holding back, you have no idea, because if Joon didn’t hold back, if he fought with all his strength...” You smile, “RM would be unstoppable, trust me.”

The group falls into uncomfortable silence at your words. “If I wasn’t here, you would all be toast,” you say smuggly.

You watch from the crowd, catching his eyes. He sees you and the rest of your team, frowning. Yoongi places his arm on your shoulder possessively, and your heart clenches at the glare Namjoon sends you both. You turn away, hugging Yoongi, keeping your back to the stage so the superhero can’t see your face anymore.

“You really believe that?” Jungkook asks, standing behind Yoongi, watching Taehyung shake the superhero’s hand, fake smile offering congratulations to another fake smile.

“Yes, I do.” You swallow, listening to the cheers of the crowd. “I believe in RM.”

---

I have my opinions on him, but I want to know, do you want RM to change or do you think it’s better that he stays “good” and y/n should be the one to change?? In the meantime, Yoongi and y/n are cute, right? Do you think Yoongi is the person who y/n needs right now or is he just manipulative? Dying to see another pair?

Naughty Girl Christmas Masterlist | Prequel

*me le dies*

GOODNESS GRACIOUS THIS MAN!! Tall, handsome, gorgeous, talented, intelligent, wise, sassy, clumsy, funny, carries himself like a greek god in earth, super adorably cute, DIMPLES, looks like could kill you but is a cinnamon roll like he's soooooo soft and adorabs, MY DEATH.

THAT is Kim NamJoon.

My agenda of praising how attractive Joon is will never stop.

You know what we never talk about??

This.

THE MAN WAS WEARING A CORSET AND LACE AND A COLLAR AND WE’VE JUST BEEN LIKE “Yeah that was a thing” LIKE NO WE MUST ACKNOWLEDGE IT

Jimin pulling the same “For your precious eyes” type thing like Joon in his work out vlog.

The adorable, cute, tall and lanky boy with an interesting hairstyle with an interesting pair of glasses that I noticed way back in 2015 the moment I came to know about BTS became this greek god. Our leader is aging like a reallyyyyyy damn fine wine

I have more.

The 👏🏼universe👏🏼blessed👏🏼him👏🏼

I don't know how to react to this. I mean... YES PLEASE but also PLEASE HAVE MERCY. Like...did I just sign my demise or enter in paradise

I think we as an ARMY Society, move on from iconic Namjoon looks too fast. Just saying.

Sameeee! I have a couple of tattoos myself and I'm planning to add a few more. Also I have quite a few ear piercings myself (planning to add somw more) and I am kinda wanting a labret piercing but on the center for quite some time but I'm thinking about it really carefully wether I truly want it or no. People always say I look quite innocent and soft so a bit of edge doesn't hurt 🤣🤣

"That's right~ I got one more piercing on my lip"

I needed to move on from this for my sanity. AND THEN I FIND THIS?!

I think we as an ARMY Society, move on from iconic Namjoon looks too fast. Just saying.

Red Light - The Depths Below

Nightmare!Hoseok x Psychologist!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Genre: Horror AU, Monster AU, Psychological horror, a little bit of Angst , some Fluff as well.

Warnings: Taehyung is a little shit tbh. Pretty tame this chapter, insinuation of experimentation and talk of the deeper floors. It should be noted that this story will contain themes of horror/psychological horror and also explore obsessive behaviors and codependency. Many characters are morally gray. Please be warned!

Summary: Great minds think alike; you would have stole Williams’ office too.

Notes: This takes place the night of ‘Tea and Crumpets’! I hope you all enjoy, it’s a pretty dialogue heavy chapter heh.

This Part 33 of the Red Light series. Find the Masterlist here ♥️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You wanted to meet with me?” Peeking through the door, you spot Dr. Kim sitting on the opposing side of the dark wooden desk. He glances up from his paperwork, glasses sliding down his nose as a boxy smile comes to his face. He stands, gesturing for you to come in quickly.

“Ah, yes! Come in Dr. _____, please take a seat. Coffee, tea?” Sliding into the office and into the soft chair, you wonder just how he managed to steal Williams’ office from under his nose. Perhaps he asked? Then again, Doctor Taehyung Kim seems like the type to just take if he wants. You’d take it too.

“Ah, tea please… Is this not Williams’ office? I’m surprised he gave it up.” Dr. Kim picks up the tea pot sitting on the desk, flipping over the other cup to pour some for you. You watch silently, quietly amused as he reaches over to give you the cup. Taking it gently, you take note of the peppermint scent and take a sip. It’s quite good, but you wouldn’t expect anything less.

“Oh, it is, but I needed a home-base for the time being, so here we are. I’m sure he understands, he’s such a lovely bloke.” The man sits down with a thump, folding his hands together with a deep breath. You raise your brows and look back at him, mildly expressing that the tea is delicious. With a nod, his expression dims ever so slightly.

“I’m going to be frank with you; the way that this facility is being run isn’t to my liking. I’ve been in many of them and even ran a number of our facilities and yet… I think this one is one of the worst I’ve seen.” Ah, there it is. At least someone beside you doesn’t like how things are being done around here. Nodding your head, you continue to listen as Dr. Kim’s frown deepens even further.

“I’m aware that you only have access to the 13th floor and haven’t the faintest idea of what’s happening elsewhere. I think that’s in your best interest personally, but if you’re curious I won’t turn away your questions. Before you ask…” Now that’s a little surprising. You could ask him a million things, dig deeper than you should… Bur you know that’s not wise. Dr. Kim seems like a trustworthy ally, but things could change rather quickly if you step on your toes.

“Your floor, the 13th, is relatively stable compared to the botched state of the others. The five Nightmares stationed here are under control for the most part and barely act out. It wasn’t reported to be that way until you showed up those months ago.” A sense of twisted pride swells in your chest because you know how true that is. You’ve read the reports, you know how bad things were before you turned up. No one was able to really understand what the Nightmares have been facing, and that was their downfall.

“I try my best to listen and understand their concerns. An open ear and mind is all it really takes to comprehend some of the turmoil they face.” Your voice is quiet but firm, interjecting your thoughts into Taehyung’s deliverance. He doesn’t seem perturbed by it though, eyes brightening ever so slightly as he takes a quick sip of his tea.

“Which is why the issues lies deeper, not with you, but down in the depths below. The Nightmares that live there lack any sense of humanity; they’ve lost themselves completely and are nothing more than monsters now. I know you’re aware that it can happen given certain circumstances.” You’re very aware, it makes you think back to the first time Hoseok protected you from the horrid down here. The Nightmare that came for you… There wasn’t a hint of human like features to it, it’s form completely monstrous. It’s true form.

… You wonder if he’s listening in, likely not having much else to do in his cell. It’s something you don’t want to ponder on for too long though, because it begs the question of how often does he listen? How long? What has he heard…? Probably entirely too much. A wave of embarrassment washes over you as you tune back into what Dr. Kim has to say.

“What I’m going to ask of you is relatively simple; keep your Nightmares sane, keep them safe, and keep them out of trouble to the best of your ability. I know you have a few wildcards to deal with, but we don’t need any more negative attention turned your way, do we? I have enough of these piss-poor doctors wagging their tongues about this and that.” It’s enough to make you chuckle into your tea, Taehyung’s distaste for the other doctors just as clear as your is. There’ll be absolutely no issue with keeping your Nightmares sane; it’s been your goal all along to help them. Dr. Kim leans back in his chair, finally giving you the floor.

“Now, is there anything you wish to ask me? Any concerns? I’m sure you’ve learned by now that I hold a certain control over the happenings in the facility.” Yes, that was quite clear after he gave orders to Williams and the unbearable man actually listened. Biting your cheek for a bit, you consider your words and speak them very carefully.

“… Truthfully, I don’t even know where to start with my concerns. There are many.” Many, too many to even count. Taehyung hums, eyes narrowing every so slightly, but he stays quiet to let you continue, and so you do.

“The way my Nightmares are treated… It needs to change. They need stimulation to stay sane, Dr. Kim. They need more than the white walls they stare at all day, they need activities and social interaction. I wish to give them that, to give them more than what they have right now.” You’ve been trying to do so, an open secret to those who have caught on. It’s clear that some of the doctors don’t like it, but so far, you haven’t been stopped. But honestly, it’s not a matter of if, it’s of when.

“I see no issue with any of those things. I suppose the problem is getting the okay to do so from your direct superior?” Shifting in your seat, you feel your skin crawl at the thought of it. You’d be ridiculed immediately, and you’re sure he’d get others in on it because he’s just that kind of horrid.

“I haven’t asked. I know any request like that will be shot down quickly.” Shot down, and he’d find some way to undermine it. Hoseok and the others weren’t wrong when they warned you, no. The fire that you’re playing with is very hot and you’ve already burnt a few fingers… But at this point, really, what’s a few more?

Taehyung stands from his seat, quiet for a moment as he picks up a picture frame sitting on Williams desk. You have no idea what it holds, but it’s enough to make the mans face scrunch as he practically drops it back into the desk. He stretches out distractedly, voice coming out in a yawn.

“Well, you have my permission as your superiors superior. Do whatever you need, Hell, throw a damn party if you want; but if you do, I want an invite. There will be no exciting bashes without me present. If Williams had an issue, he can come to me about it. I would love that little talk.” If you had to pinpoint it, you’d say his tone borderlines on nearly sadistic. Sadly for Williams, you would to see that talk happen in real time, Dr. Kim’s sadism easily becoming yours.

He comes around the desk and sits on the edge, his long white coat riding up ever so slightly. It’s then finally you note the eye bags he sports, the way his hair looks a little disheveled. The poor man looks like he hasn’t gotten any sleep in at least two days, and with his job, you bet that’s the case.

“Being a tad more serious, I’ll give you some funds to do whatever you please with. As long as it passes through security, you can bring whatever you want with you to work as well. I heard of the pudding, and think it was quite the adorable gesture.” It makes you heat up a little as you shrug, fully knowing it was a bit of a silly idea. Still, it got you the results you wanted from what you can tell. If opening a bakery gets Namjoon to act like himself, then so but it.

“I don’t have any other serious issues for the time being. As long as my patients are happy, I’ll be content. The rest is bearable.” Bearable… Annoying, but bearable. Taking another sip of your cooling tea, you suppose as long as the other doctors don’t pull anything stupid, you should be fine. Apparently Taehyung doesn’t think so as he scoffs.

“Bearable is an interesting word choice. You’re a strong woman in a world full of sexist men _____, I can never be fully aware of what you face but I think I have a slight idea. You have my utmost respect for doing what you do, and I’ll do anything in my power to keep you in this facility.” It’s shocking to hear honestly and you try your best to keep it off your face. You knew obviously that Dr. Kim wasn’t against you like the others, but this… This is amazing.

“Thank you, Dr. Kim.” He stares at you thoughtfully, watching you fidget in your seat under his gaze. Letting out a slight chuckle, he lightly kicks one of Williams’ many filing cabinets, leaving behind a scuff on the wood.

“You may call me Taehyung privately. I think we understand each other well, there’s no need for formalities.” Ah, to rid this place of formalities. It’s funny; you don’t even know what Williams first name is. Most of the personnel down here don’t care to disclose that kind of info if it can be avoided it seems. And heaven forbid you call the Nightmares by their names. Either way, you note the trust within his gesture.

“Alright. Thank you Taehyung, then.” He nods his head and claps, looking very satisfied with your conversation. Flattening out the creases in your skirt idly, you certainly feel the same. This went much better than you could have expected.

“Perfect! I’m serious; any other issues, bring them to me and I’ll do what I can. I won’t always be on this floor but if I’m around, do come by. You may go now, that’s everything I wanted to say.” You stand slowly, picking up the cup of tea and fully intending to bring it with you. Perhaps it’s Williams cup, but perhaps you don’t care. As you turn to leave, snake like eyes enter your bought and you halt.

“Ah, before I leave… Jimin has requested that you sit in on our next session. He says he won’t meet with me again unless you’re present.” A very smug grin comes to the other doctors face, eyes sharpening ever so slightly behind his glasses. You don’t even want to begin to understand the game they’re playing, even if it is your job to psychoanalyze.

“Has he now? Such a vicious little snake wants me to play Doctor with him? Well, I couldn’t possibly refuse such an invite. Let me know when it’s scheduled and I’ll make sure to attend.” Nodding your head, you turn to leave, a million thoughts racing through your mind. There’s so many things you’ll have to prepare for the Nightmares, so much shopping to be done. Taehyung calls out one more time as you go to close the door behind you, voice amused.

“Oh, and if you could find a way to get Yoongi to stop painting on the walls with blood, that would be lovely. Have a good evening, _____.” It sounds genuine, and you really hope it is. Giving the man a kind smile, you reply quietly in earnest.

“You too Taehyung. Thank you.”

Red Light - Days Gone By

Nightmare!Hoseok x Psychologist!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Genre: Horror AU, Monster AU, Psychological horror, light nsfw/18+ content.

Warnings: Hoseok’s thoughts; talk of sex/sexual situations. Mentions of killing/arson. It should be noted that this story will contain themes of horror/psychological horror and also explore obsessive behaviors and codependency. Many characters are morally gray. Please be warned!

Summary: How many years has it been…?

Notes: Going WAYYYY back. Teehee. Timeline is unknown (for you anyway heh) 👀

This Part 32 of the Red Light series. Find the Masterlist here ♥️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hoseok has never been hard to please. Well, he doesn’t think so at least. There’s a possibility that things might have been different before though. He supposes the possibilities are endless as he takes a sip of his warming Jack and coke. Refreshing.

-looks kind of mysterious. He let his drink sit for a while, I wonder-

Sitting back against the stool and away from the bar, he scans the crowded club, eyes flickering around the room curiously. It’s insanely busy, a Saturday night in New York in the middle of July, the perfect time for him to find some fun. It’s like a silver platter right in front of him, hundreds of humans distracting themselves from their piss poor daily lives with sex, drugs, and alcohol on a shoddily made dance floor. Lucky him.

-so hot, I bet she’ll let me take her home tonight-

It’s definitely become his favorite pastime, although a bit morbid in retrospect, watching the humans intermingle while he hunts them quietly, carefully. They never realize, never have clue that his intentions are likely much darker than what they can imagine, that they may involve a bloody massacre. It’s really all in good fun most of the time, and right now it seems like the best option as the voices become louder…

-make him jealous! He’s mine! He should be with me and not-

Not tonight though, no. Tonight he just wants to get his dick wet. It’s a romantic thought since it’s been much too long since he’s properly fucked someone and he misses that feeling of euphoria terribly. Though, it’s much easier said than done sadly because concealing himself in a sea of humans can fall somewhere on the fine line of entertaining and exhausting. Tonight, it’s becoming exhausting quite quick, and so he tries to close his metaphorical ears.

Standing from his seat at the bar with a sigh, Hoseok pointedly ignores the loud buzzing of drunken minds around him. He ignores the inner turmoil of a would be groom and his sex obsessed friends, ignores the party girls who can’t think straight, ignores the very annoying Nightmare that’s clearly taken notice of him. Ignores, ignores, ignores.

-another Nightmare?! Oh, I bet-

He ignores it and gets lost in the sea.

It’s something he does surprisingly easily, the flashing lights overtaking his senses and allowing him to lose control as his heels click agains the dance floor. He likes that though, likes to lose himself, likes to let loose and just go with the flow. It’s soothing to him to just let the white noise be only that, soothing to blend in with the silly little humans.

He grinds against random bodies to the beat of the music, occasional hands touching his own as he finds new dance partners, hands skimming against the naked skin of his waist. He dances with one, two, three different people before he turns toward him. Hoseok knew he could only avoid a walking Nightmare for so long; they’re drawn to each other like flies to honey.

He’s tall, taller than Hoseok even, eyes almost red as the lights continue to pulse. He looks… Normal, long dark hair framing his face just as his tight clothing frames his body. The man stares into his eyes unabashedly, toothy smile adorning dimpled cheeks. Hoseok doesn’t like that smile, but can’t help but to feel almost giddy.

Oh my, he’s so handsome! A little scary looking too, but I bet he likes to have fun, mhm mhm-

“Oh, how exiting! Fancy meeting another monster in the wild. It’s a pleasure.” He speaks at normal tone, much too quiet for anyone other than Hoseok to hear, but his excitement is clear. He holds out a hand to shake, nearly bumping into the dancing bodies around them. Hoseok stares for a bit, trying to sense any ill intention toward him, but none exists, so he addresses the other Nightmare bluntly while taking his hand.

“Pleasant for me, or for you?” The question hangs in the air as the man’s smile grows sharper, eyes darkening just a notch as he squeezes. Hoseok knows from very personal experience that some Nightmares just can’t control themselves, their tempers a ticking time bomb… A total massacre isn’t what he wanted tonight; it’ll make it much harder to get laid if he’s covered in blood and grime.

Maybe he’d want to help burn this place, it would be so much fun! We could make a new friend! I do love new friends, yes. A bonding experience-

“Oh, don’t be that way! I’m sure we’re here for the same reason.” Certainly not. It’s normal for death and destruction to be on a Nightmares mind, and that’s the case for this man for sure. He’d have fun bribing this whole place down and giggle while listening to the screams. Hoseok raises a brow, nearly scoffing at the insinuation as he finally lets the other man’s hand fall.

“You’re here to satiate your bloodlust by burning down the place, I’m here for sexual release. Those are two very different things in my book.” There’s a flicker then of something sinister in the others eyes, confusion mixing in steadily. It’s always fun to mess around with others, they never catch on, but then why does he feel dissatisfied…? It seeps on slowly, unwelcome and foreboding.

“How…?” Hoseok’s own confusion grows, and that… That doesn’t make any sense. Why is he confused? He stares down this new Nightmare, listening to his thoughts flicker all over the board. His mind is hard to follow, running at a pace he can barely keep up with, a complete mess really.

How does he know?! It’s like he can read my thoughts; maybe I’ll calm him a bit, he feels tense. We can’t have tense, no no-

“An empath? That’s new, I’ve never met a Nightmare with such an ability. Either way, I have no interest in getting to know you. Goodbye.” He goes to turn away but the other Nightmare lets out a whine, almost childlike in nature as he pouts. It makes him stop, his curiosity getting the better of him. This one’s certainly a little odd.

“Awww, wait! Seokjinnie would have liked you! He always makes good friends with the strong ones.” … Seokjin? He belongs to Seokjin…? If that’s the case, this must be his Joonie. Fuck, he can’t just have a peaceful night, can he? Letting his eyes flash to black, he turns back to give the other Nightmare one last pointed look.

There’s a silent communication between them, Nightmare to Nightmare. He knows now that he’ll see Namjoon again, that it was a complete fluke to meet him without Seokjin around. Things are certainly going to be interesting in the coming future, if that, he’s quite certain. But for now, he’s only got one thing on his mind.

“Another time. Bring your Seokjin with and then we can talk. You can send him my regards though, tell him Hoseok says hello. Farewell, Namjoon.”

Red Light - Just Exist

Nightmare!Hoseok x Psychologist!Reader

Word Count: 1k

Genre: Horror AU, Monster AU, Psychological horror, Angst, Fluffy times for our boys.

Warnings: Yoongi again. Blood/gore, talk of killing/death, mentions of crawling over dead bodies lmao. It should be noted that this story will contain themes of horror/psychological horror and also explore obsessive behaviors and codependency. Many characters are morally gray. Please be warned!

Summary: Jungkook enjoys every moment he gets with his Nightmare, even if it consists of scribing away blood and guts.

Notes: WOOOO a closer look at Jungkookie and Yoon heh. The poor dudes can’t catch a break huh? This takes place directly after Silent Smile!

This Part 30 of the Red Light series. Find the Masterlist here♥️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They didn’t see…?” Yoongi shuffles further into the washroom, unzipping his jumpsuit and ripping the arms of it off his own. Blood splatters onto the white floors, the Nightmare completely uncaring as he pushes the jumpsuit all the way off. He turns back toward Jungkook with a grim smile, silvery eyes catching the light just enough to glow.

“No Jungkookie, they didn’t see. No one will ever see.” Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief because really, they don’t need to deal with that bullshit right now. They have enough to fucking deal with now that Freeman decided to weasel his way back into the facility. Fucker.

The Nightmare lifts his once white undershirt over his head, face scrunching as he pulls it off completely, now standing in nothing but his facility issued briefs. There’s red all over his body, and Jungkook knows he’ll be here for a while because of it. Yoongi won’t leave till he’s sure he’s squeaky clean… Not that the guard minds. If anything, he’s oddly fuckin happy about it. Yoongi sighs loudly from his spot, lips pouty and adorably downturned.

“I only slaughtered a few but they bled so much Jungkookie. I didn’t even have time to make anything, and now I’m disgusting. What a waste.” Jungkook hums in acknowledgement as he gathers a few wash cloths and some soap out of the side cabinets, knowing that they won’t be nearly enough to clean up his Nightmare. He walks over to one of the showers and turns it on, not really caring if he gets wet at this point.

Anything is better than dealing with the hell that is his job.

“Come here Yoon.” Usually he’d be worried about time but with the blessing of the Doctor… Yoongi comes to him immediately, standing in the warm spray to allow droplets of blood stained water to trail down his pale skin. Some of the more coagulated stuff sticks to him though, and so Jungkook gets to work quietly. He brings a sudsy cloth up to the nightmares shoulders, slowly rubbing the soft material over Yoongi’s skin. Yoongi shutters, delicate fingers raising up to trace Jungkook’s tattoos.

“I wanted to kill him… Make the prettiest pictures for you; watch him choke on his own blood as I finger painted with it.” Jungkook wants that too. Maybe that makes him a terrible fucking person but that’s okay. He knows his morals aren’t nearly as shit as half the asswipes down here. Either way, it’s dangerous for them to make any kind of move.

“I know Yoon. But you can’t. You can’t because if you fucking do-“ Jungkook cuts himself off with a huff, not even wanting to imagine the shit that goes on down there in this lower fucking levels. Yoongi simply stares at him blankly as his hand drops, not giving away his current thoughts to the guard, so Jungkook continues gently to let him know he’s not mad at him.

“Dr._____ can only do so much to keep you safe. Just please, don’t make any rash decisions, okay? I know that’s your damn forte but still. I want you safe and sound.” He tries to joke about it as he scrubs down Yoongi’s chest, throwing a wash cloth to the floor as the blood completely overtakes it. He spots the familiar long jagged scar on the Nightmares ribs, now a silvery color, and tries not to fixate. Yoongi lets out something close to a choked sound, words coming out angrily strangled.

“… Jungkook, he tried to-“ Jungkook rips his eyes away and cups the Nightmares cheeks, angling the man’s face to look back into his own. He stares into Yoongi’s cat like eyes, wishing so much that he could comfort him in some way. But what the fuck can he do? He’s powerless down here. All he has is his word.

“I know. I know. I promise I’ll stay far away from him, and I’ll tell Dr. _____ that he shouldn’t be near you. Let’s just drop it for now, yeah? We’ll figure it out in time.” Stroking the Nightmares cheeks with his thumbs as the other man nods, he thinks of another time, another place, where they could just exist. Just fucking exist together and be happy and not have to hide away in a shower. It’ll never be here though.

It’s quiet for a long moment until Yoongi glances down, a smile curling the corner of his lips up. It’s an idle thought: how Yoongi looks so beautiful like this. Not completely calm, not insanely angry, but maybe happy enough to show his true personality. So beautiful.

“Your clothes are all wet, pretty.” They are, some areas almost completely soaked through, some now stained with strangers blood. It’s totally worth it though, getting to see Yoongi’s face light up if only a little bit. Jungkook thinks he would drag himself across rotting fucking corpses to get to this man.

“I still have to change into my uniform anyway, so it’s fine. Lift your arms up for me.” Yoongi does, placing his hands on the taller man’s shoulders as Jungkook scrubs under his arms, a place where the blood thankfully isn’t too heavy. Yoongi leans in slowly until his arms are hooked around his guards shoulders, a giggle bubbling out from his pouty lips.

“How about you lift me instead Jungkookie?” And with that, he jumps up and wraps himself around Jungkook, the man just barely catching him as he drops the soap (aha). He grips Yoongi’s ass to keep him steady, trying his best to keep the Nightmare situated. Ah, he really did choose such a mischievous little asshole to care about, didn’t he? And maybe, just maybe, he likes it. Likes it a whole fucking lot.

“You can be such a brat, baby.” Yoongi melts into him, clinging to him so closely that there isn’t an inch between them now. He hides his face in the guards neck, nipping at the skin there cheekily, not nearly enough to break skin but just enough to tease.

“Your brat Jungkookie. Yours.”

Red Light - Silent Smile

Nightmare!Hoseok x Psychologist!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Genre: Horror AU, Monster AU, Psychological horror, Angst, some Fluff though too. Kind of.

Warnings: Yoongi. Technically talk of cannibalism, death, mentions of blood/bodily fluid. MC is injured but not too seriously. It should be noted that this story will contain themes of horror/psychological horror and also explore obsessive behaviors and codependency. Many characters are morally gray. Please be warned!

Summary: Nothing can ever go your way. All you wanted was a calm morning and instead your office door got ripped off its hinges.

Notes: Back at it! I hope you all enjoy. This takes a good few days after Tea and Crumpets, it might be beneficial to go reread as much as you can heh.

This is Part 29 of the Red Light series. Find the Masterlist here ♥️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a rapt knock on your door, arrogantly enough to draw you away from the paperwork you’ve been diligently doing for your… Superiors. Usually a distraction would be welcome, but in this case you know it’s no one you care to see. Letting out a quiet sigh, you fold your hands and call out regretfully for whoever to enter.

“Yes, come in!” The door opens promptly and in steps Williams… Along with another man you’ve never seen before. He’s taller, younger, and his smile is bright enough to blind you. Perhaps an aspiring new hire? Certainly no one with experience down here, no. The excitement is far too displaced. Williams marches straight up to your desk with the man, eyes wide as he gazes down at you.

“Good morning Dr._____.” You murmur a good morning back, bringing your cold coffee up to your lips for a sip. Honestly, you have so much work to do and such a tight schedule to do so. Playing Williams silly little games is always a nuisance, especially since he’s the one piling on the work. He tilts his head to the side toward the new man, an odd little smile on his face. It repulses you ever so slightly.

“I’d like to introduce you to Doctor Freeman. He transferred from this facility to another, but has decided to return after Andrews’… Unfortunate passing.” You nearly laugh out loud, something you’ll certainly have to reflect on later. Freeman extends his hand outward to you, and you shake it mindlessly. His grip is firm, nearly too tight as his hand engulfs yours.

“Dr. _____, I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.” His smile has been turning sharper by the second, eyes carefully hiding something away as they remain blank. It’s happening slowly, but with each passing minute you like him less and less. Clearing your throat, you manage to plaster on a fake smile.

“It’s nice to meet you as well. I’ll take it you’ll be filling Andrews’ position then?” He nods his head as Williams looks… Proud? Smug? You’re not quite sure. Is it possible you know this man? No, you’ve never seen him before, you’d remember the dumb way his head bobs as he nods enthusiastically.

“Correct! I’m excited to be stepping into my old shoes and taking off. I’d also like to work closely with you given the chance.” He steps impossibly closer and you feel the need to sink through the walls. There’s a sudden bang down the hall, the men ignoring it as you peer toward the door. Choosing to ignore it as well, you decidr to address the odd man.

“Closely with me…?” He hums as the banging continues, and you swear you hear a gunshot in the distance and… Screaming…? Perhaps it’s nothing to worry about. Perhaps it’s everything to worry about. The only thing you can currently worry about though is the way Freeman’s eyes nearly bug out of his head.

“Yes; I didn’t study psychology much during my schooling days but I find it quite… Interesting.” Interest is fine but his interest unsettles you wholeheartedly. Tapping your pen against the table a few times, the banging becomes louder steadily, and then stops. The three of you look toward the door, both men flinching as the loudest boom yet echoes from somewhere down the hall. You can’t even describe it; like some sort of guttural scream mixed with metal being torn.

“What was that sound…?” And then comes the screaming. The desperations echoes its way down the hall, the voices frantic enough to make you uneasy. It’s pretty clear what’s going on, but Williams just clears his throat and shrugs his shoulders like it’s nothing to worry about.

“I’m sure it’s nothing. Now, I wanted to ask you about that paperwork-“ He doesn’t get to finish his sentence before your door is ripped of its hinges and thrown into the wall, a blur flying through the room and onto Freeman. You catch a flash of silvery hair as both bodies fall to the ground and oh.

Oh. Oh no.

“Yoongi! Yoongi, hey, come on-“ You’re up and around your desk in seconds, torn between keeping your distance and trying to calm the obviously very pissed off Nightmare. It’s a fifty-fifty toss up between him going on a killing spree and coming down from his blood-lust, but you’ve got to try something. You slowly step closer, only to spot Williams taking something out of his pocket. You gape as pulls out a taser of all things, the oversized object clearly trying to make up for something.

You step between him and Yoongi, eyes blazing as the Nightmare continues to snarl down at the newest Doctor with malice. Williams tries to sidestep you, but you continue to use your body as a sort of wall between them. It’s shocking that none of these absolute morons have figured out how to deescalate a situation like this. What does he think he’s going to do? Taze him and not die horribly?

“Do not.” He scoffs but backs away, clearly not willing to risk his own precious life. It’s curious though; it’s more than he ever would have done for Andrews… Turning back and taking a step forward, you stand directly behind the Nightmare, hovering with an outstretched hand as he drags the other man off the floor.

“I’ll fucking rip you apart. Skin you alive, gouge your eyes out and eat your insides for a fucking snack and string the rest up on the walls. Would you like that?” He snarls his words darkly, spit flying as he chokes out Freeman. The doctor is starting to turn a shade of purple, his head cracking against the wall as Yoongi shoves him into it again. You can only begin to guess what he’s done to make Yoongi so angry in such a short amount of time. How long has he even been here?

“Please, Yoongi,-“ Finally touching his shoulder lightly, you try not to gasp in pain as a hand shoots out to grip your wrist violently. He drops the man and turns toward you, likely ready to kill, but thankfully gives pause. He stares, and you stare back quietly, eyes gentle and trying desperately to convey that it’s okay. That he’s okay.

Fully taking in his appearance, it’s obvious he’s already caused some sort of chaos. He’s covered in blood, splashes of it littering his face, some of it smudged as if he tried to rub it away. His pupils are blown, nostrils flared, but otherwise he looks like himself. Blood drips off his hand and onto your jacket, staining the perfect white a crimson red, but you don’t falter.

After comprehending just whose wrist he’s about to snap, a litany of emotions wash over his face before he settles on something grim. He looks anywhere but at you, his hand loosening and letting go slowly. Not thinking much about it, you grab his hand as he tries to draw away, his eyes snapping up towered yours, the shock there evident.

“I-Doctor I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to.” It’s quiet. It’s apologetic. Hell, it even sounds a little desperate. You wish he could tell how important all of them have become to you, that you know that they’re people too, that they matter. You nod your head, tightening your hand ever so slightly to try and sooth any remnants of his anger as pain twinges up your wrist.

“It’s okay, it’s alright. You didn’t mean to, I know that.” He continues to nod, composure growing slightly more anxious as he hunches into himself. You understand; vulnerability in front of these assholes isn’t something he desires, and so you try not to lean into that. But, you do need to get him out of here, and quickly.

“I need you to listen to me though, okay? You’ve got to come with me so we can get you washed up.” Looking him directly in the eye, you try to tell him. Try to tell him he’ll go down there, try to tell him that you don’t want that. You don’t want him to be tortured, you don’t want him to lose himself. You don’t want him to rot.

There’s a sudden rustling of clothing, a groan from the sad mess on the floor. Yoongi lashes out relatively often but there’s always a reason. Always. So, you’re sure Freeman’s broken face is somehow justified, especially as he starts to speak.

“No, I’ve missed 061309 quite a bit. I would love for him to join us down below instead after an episode like that.” Freeman’s voice is raspy, gross, absolutely grating on your poor ears as he cuts in. Glancing down toward the floor, you try not to giggle at the poor excuse of a blob laying there. You knew you were right about him. You knew, and you’d like to know more. You’ll have to speak to Hoseok on the matter; it’s been too long away no anyway.

“Well Doctor Freeman, I don’t really care what you would love. He’s my patient, he’s staying on this floor and he’s taking a nice hot shower. Also, I would appreciate if one of you would call to have my door fixed.” Taking the Nightmare by the arm, you start to drag him toward the door unceremoniously. There’s a shuffle as Freeman stands up, his whole body covered in grime.

“I wasn’t done talking to you.” It’s hard to take him seriously with his eye nearly swollen shut, and so you don’t. Not even turning back fully to acknowledge him, you finally enter the hallway with Yoongi on your heels. He doesn’t try to run or cause chaos, apparently having no issue with following you. You’re glad he’s in his right mind to understand the consequences of doing so.

“And I was quite done talking to you. Now, if you’ll excuse us.” Ignoring that you’re leaving those two alone in your office, you lead Yoongi down the hall, dead set on getting him cleaned up. You know he doesn’t like the mess when things die down, when he has time to calm, and something tells you he wasn’t very excited about this particular massacre.

“I didn’t mean to.” It’s quiet as he whispers it out, the almost desperate tone coming back. Stopping in the middle of the hall abruptly, you turn him toward you slowly. He won’t look you in the eye, staring past you but not with a hint of malice. Keeping your hands on his arms, you allow your voice to be the gentlest it’s ever been with him; with any of them.

“I know Yoongi. There’s really nothing to apologize for, though I do appreciate the gesture immensely. I can tell you’re not fond of Freeman so lashing out isn’t an uncalled for response.” You think that perhaps mentioning Freeman wasn’t a good idea as Yoongi’s face morphs in disgust. He takes deep breaths, clearly trying to control himself but not altogether able to.

“He’s disgusting. He should rot. I should have slaughter-“ Before he can fully fall into his anger again, there’s a soft call of ‘Yoongi’ from the other end of the hall. Glancing that way, you spot Jungkook standing there and looking immensely worried, still in civilian clothes and not his usual uniform. Once he catches your eyes, he starts to jog over.

“What happened? Are you okay?” The man actually grabs Yoongi’s jaw without hesitation, softly turning his face from side to side as if to examine him. You let the Nightmare go, fully allowing for Jungkook to take over the situation. You don’t think he realizes just what a blessing he is in situations like this; the nightmare certainly would have ripped off anyone else’s hands.

“… He’s back Jungkookie. I’m sorry, I almost ripped him apart for you, I wanted to make a pretty picture but-“ Jungkook blinks owlishly, wide eyes lost for a few moments but like a snap, they harden. He doesn’t let go of Yoongi as the man nuzzles into his hands, now likely feeling safe and yet still distressed.

“Freeman is back, huh?” Jungkook directs it at you, and you nod hesitantly at his correct guess. Clearly the man had some sort of reputation around here, and clearly it’s very, very bad. But as much as you’d like ask more questions, you have to get Yoongi to the showers. Holding a hand out, you gesture that you have to keep going.

“Ah, yeah, hold on. Come on Yoon, we gotta get you cleaned up. That’s a lot of blood ba-“ He cuts off, clearing his throat as he drops his hands from the Nightmares face. Yoongi whines, whines, and grabs the other man’s hands, gripping it tightly as Jungkook starts to tug him along. You hide your silent smile well.

“Jungkook, I trust you can take care of this yourself…? I have some matters to attend to. If any issues arise please come directly to me and I’ll handle them accordingly.” You give he man a knowing look, taking a few steps back to take your leave. After your little talk with Dr. Kim a few days back, you know it’s in your best interest to check in. Jungkook looks torn for a second but gives as Yoongi practically shoves his face into his neck.

“Yeah I got this, but. Uh… I think you and I need to talk. Later?” You give a curt affirmation that that’s fine because really, you want to know what’s got one of your Nightmares in such a tizzy. So much to do, so little time…

“Yes, later. Be safe you two.”

cry me a river | the unprepared

— summary: no one is ever prepared to be broken, even if they think they are, and breaking again and again does not make you numb to the pain

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, mafia!au

— word count: 7.0k

— warnings: slight ptsd trigger

— PART 23 / previous post / masterpost

“Would you be able to send this letter to the address written on it? Personally?”

The girl you saved is named Ester, and without fail, people whose lives have been saved often feel indebted to their savior, so you know it would be right to have a little faith in her when you give her this task.

And as expected, she’s nodding without question and goes on her merry way.

It was the first thing you asked of her after all, because when you told her you had no need for the help she wanted to offer you with the injuries you sustained at the party along with wanting to help you feel comfortable in Alexander’s mansion, you could tell she was immediately angsty and in need of wanting to do anything you asked of her.

Nice girls like her often get taken advantage of.

Well, that’s none of your problem.

You take care of yourself with the treatment Ester provided for you, treating the cuts from where the bullets managed to wheeze past you, and bandaging yourself up before leaving the room provided for you.

Little Kiwi comes barking at your feet before you even reach the grand living room and despite not one to give or show affection, you pick the little thing up albeit reluctantly.

“Kid, isn’t it about time you head to sleep? And don’t lick me again, please, that’s quite rude.”

You hear a gentle chuckle from a familiar deep voice and finally walk into the living room to find both Alexander and Asher already there.

“Dogs don’t necessarily understand rudeness, though he listens to you quite well,” Alexander notes at the obedient puppy in your arms. He doesn’t wiggle around or bark and remains nestled where you hold him. When you take your seat on the sofa with a small space between you and Asher, the old man speaks again. “I heard you refused treatment from my people.”

You clear your throat awkwardly. “Forgive me, I’m not used to foreign touches.”

He knows you don’t mean “foreigners” per se and narrows his gaze slightly, possibly out of curiosity. “You have quite the skills, young lady, for having an unknown name.”

“My name is Y/N,” you tell him, sitting up. “I am a Reaper, the Grim Reaper of South Korea. My father passed away about a year ago, he was a good friend of your son Karl.”

“Karl.” He rubs his chin thinking about it. “So why have you come to Norway? To meet up with Karl?”

“Karl and I have never been that close, sir.” Of course not, you hate that man. Seeing his face alone will make you want to punch him but you know better than that. So keeping yourself calm, you look away to the side where the windows are, covered by pretty rose gold curtains. “I came here because I quite like the way the sun never sets during this time. It brings me peace.”

“You’re on vacation?” He raises a brow, doubtful, and looks toward Asher for confirmation but the man just shrugs without giving him an answer.

“You could say that,” you reply, and the old man clears his throat.

“It takes someone special to dodge all those bullets without managing any fatal injuries,” he returns to the topic of the matter as he leans back into his seat, an ankle propped onto a knee. “My son never mentioned someone like you, or his good friend.”

“The skills I acquired were not from my father, sir.”

“So you had a different master?”

“I was trained by a Yakuza master. He goes by the name Kitagawa Daisuke.”

Kitagawa Daisuke. Anyone who lives in the darkness knows the name. It’s almost like saying Shakespeare and an immediate ding pops into one's head. Your master is that famous in the underground world.

“No wonder..” Alexander looks at you with fascination now, a small crooked smile curling along his lips, eyes brightening. He knows not just anyone can call themself a disciple of Kitagawa Daisuke and it just further proves a point as to how dangerous the mission will be when you finally go up against your master. That is, if time will allow it. Who knows if you’ll even survive this mission.

You’re just dancing around with death at this point and he’s leading the moves.

“Now that you mention it, you have a sort of aura that you exude in the way I’ve seen with Master Kita. You live up to his name, no disciple of his would have let the enemies’ move confuse her.”

He must be talking about how you managed to recognize the motives of the enemies when you realize the focus was not on Alexander himself but his grandson, Asher Larsen. 

You give the man a small glance before looking down at the puppy who’s now slowly dozing off in your lap. You give him a small scratch behind the ear, doting on him a bit. Who would have thought even the enemies knew the life of a dog mattered more to Alexander than his own grandson.

So Asher was right when he said Alexander doesn’t have favorites, which means that if someone does manage to gain his favor, it wouldn’t just be in your favor but you’d have more eyes on your back more than before.

Sounds like a headache.

But it’s the only way you can get rid of Karl. Because if you gain Alexander’s favor, it’ll mean he won’t blink an eye when you tell him you want his own son dead.

“Master told me to always keep my senses heightened no matter the situation.”

He hums at the answer and in a way, you hope this little attention you’ve gained from Alexander is enough to gain a bit of his favor. They say Alexander doesn’t like people who deliberately kiss up someone’s shoes to get to where they want. He’s probably had enough of those people. He also likes people who have a backbone and knows how to protect themselves.

“How would you like to be my new caretaker for Kiwi?” The proposal Alexander gives has your head perked up his way, feeling a bit dumbfounded and surprised, but he continues before you can reject or accept the offer. “You’re here on vacation, aren’t you? I’m sure Kiwi would love to continue seeing you until it’s time for you to return home.”

Perhaps he knows a bit of your plan. Perhaps he doesn’t. Either way, he’s giving you a great opportunity to remain seen by his side.

“I know it may sound a lot asking a mafia boss but I quite like you, Miss Y/N.”

“No, it’s quite alright,” you shake your head lightly and look down at the now sleeping puppy in your lap before giving Alexander the answer. “I’d gladly accept.”

He smiles, satisfied, and when he leaves after taking the sleeping puppy from you, you’re left alone with Asher who had been silent the whole exchange between you and Alexander.

“I’m impressed, that was quite the feat. No one’s ever gotten this far this fast.” When you look at the man who’s finally speaking up, there’s a small curl up his lips when he looks your way, and you guess this man is usually stoic for the most part. How great you’re earning a bit of favor from both the grandfather and the grandson.

“I guess it’s just in my nature to have people join my side.” You give him a simple reply, one he does not refute, and the day ends with that.

You don’t get a wink of sleep at all staying there in that mansion and you know it’s because you’re in an unfamiliar place. You’ve never been good at adapting to something new. It took some time for you to settle into the Bangtan manor when you first moved there years ago, but unlike how it was there and back at your own manor, Alexander’s mansion gives you some sort of comfort you’ve never had before.

It’s probably the fact that night never comes. Your room has windows placed at a good spot, where the sun seems to shine through even though there are clouds blocking part of it. It isn’t as bright as it was when you first arrived at the airport but when it still lights up the sky around three am, you’re grateful for being here, in Norway.

Norway is pretty in a way Korea has never been and being here, despite the mission you’re on, gives you a sense of peace and calmness Korea has never given you. It’s a foreign country and yet something about it, something about the sun not being allowed to set and give way to the stars and moon, to the darkness, you have the urge to stay here if you could. Forever if possible.

But peace can never truly stay forever as long as you live this life.

You have people to go after, a revenge plot you’re on. Maybe when everything is over, if you manage to survive in the end and meet your last victim without dying, maybe then you can return here.

But first comes earning Alexander’s favor.

“You’re going to be in charge of taking care of his dog?” Hoseok’s face is a bit comical when you relay them the news once morning comes and you arrive back at the place Namjoon has provided for you. “Just what do you know about taking care of dogs?”

“Not much,” you admit as you scroll through your phone in hopes of learning, “but Alexander’s given me a bit of trust so I might as well take the opportunity. Ah, speaking of,” you put your phone down for a second, looking between the two Bangtan men, “don’t the two of you have some experience in taking care of dogs? You’ll teach me, then.”

It’s a request that comes out of nowhere, especially after just dropping the bomb on them, but it’s not like there’s anything else they can really do.

Namjoon sent them here in support for you and despite the awkward air around each of you, you’re one to ignore all signs and pretend everything is and has always been alright.

“Well an important part of a dog’s routine is taking walks,” Jungkook speaks up after being quiet for a while. His brows are slightly furrowed, thinking. “Mr. Larsen has actually given you quite the task.”

He’s right.

Taking a dog out on walks means being out in the open air where enemy eyes are everywhere. If last night proves that Kiwi serves more purpose to Alexander than his own grandson — and the enemies know that — then being the dog sitter isn’t just any mere maid’s job.

They have to be smart, agile, quick, and strong because they’re looking after what equals an heir.

You’re basically Kiwi’s bodyguard.

“Maybe this is his way of testing me.” It has to be. He couldn’t just have trusted a random stranger to take care of something that clearly means a lot to him. Though that begs the question as to why.

Is it because you mentioned Kitagawa as your master? He’s quite well known after all, and well respected at that.

Still, something’s a little weird.

But if you’re trying to get close to the old man, you might as well take advantage of this while not forgetting to remain cautious.

No one can ever be trusted fully. There is always an ulterior motive behind one’s action.

“I have a question, sir.” When you return to the manor a little later that day, the first person you go to is Alexander, who easily allows you into his proximity just minutes after you asked for his time. You thought initially it’d be a while until you get your reply, after all, he’s a Godfather who’s probably busy with all sorts of things, which is why it’s surprising the reply came so soon and was received well.

His butler didn’t lead you to an office, rather, you found yourself walking into a pretty greenhouse that sort of reminds you of the one back at home.

It’s massive in size though, that’s a difference, but you can clearly tell it’s being taken care of well in the way your Reapers takes care of your greenhouse.

“One moment, Miss Y/N.”

Alexander has his back turned to you when you find him towards a corner, with a water can in hand as he personally feeds the plants the amount of water needed with a serene expression on his face.

Kiwi, who had followed you when you were led by the butler, walks over to respectfully nuzzle against his master’s foot.

“Pretty, aren’t they?” The old man comments with a smile once he’s done watering the plants and places the can back in its place.

“It’s a surprise you’re able to keep them alive here,” you utter as you take another look around at the greens all around you. “I have one back in Korea, though my Reapers take care of them.”

Alexander takes a seat on a bench and Kiwi jumps over to lay on his lap. “Taking care of things personally brings me peace.”

“...Does it, now?” In a world where things are always chaotic, you suppose having somewhere to go to for peace is ideal. “I don’t have a greenhouse for personal taste though.”

“Do you grow poison?” He asks and there’s really no use lying.

“Amongst other things.”

He falls silent for a moment, a serene silence, and it’s strange the way he looks at you in a way no one’s ever done before. You’ve seen creepy old men before, met a couple of them personally against your will, but Alexander doesn’t remind you much of them. He stands out further, but in a way that isn’t bad at all and for some reason that brings you another sort of uncomfortable feeling you don’t think you’ve ever felt before. 

It’s strange and foreign, and perhaps he understands the effect he’s made on you because he lets out a light chuckle.

“I used to be just like you, little one.”

Your brows furrow at his words, confused. “I’m not sure I know what you mean, sir.”

“Always in a rush, never stopping to revel in the scenery.”

Because there’s no time for that. Time doesn’t wait for anyone and the enemies certainly don't. You’ve finally gained some sort of peace after your father’s death but even then, letting yourself go in order to be free from the chains isn’t exactly as easy as one may think.

You’re rushing because you want to reach peace, because you want a moment in time when things finally slows down and you’re okay with it, with the clocks existing, with the time ticking.

Peace doesn’t come to just anyone willingly.

“You’re anxious,” Alexander notes and perhaps you’re uncomfortable because he sees through a part of you that only people you allow in sees.

This is why you hate old people.

They can tell so easily because they’ve been through things.

“If I let time catch up on me, there will be nothing left in front of me.”

“Is that what you believe?” He asks, a hand running through Kiwi’s fur as the little dog begins to fall asleep. “What if what you want is already in front of you? Perhaps you just don’t want to face it because you’re afraid.”

Afraid?

Afraid of what?

But maybe he’s right. Maybe you know exactly what he’s talking about.

“You’re running away.”

Yes.

This man certainly does make you uncomfortable.

Not like the creeps, not like Leehyun, but not like Mister Butler either. Though in a way, there’s something familiar that you sense in him in the way you’ve felt with Mister Butler. As if he has a window to see through your soul.

But you’re sure not all old people know everything. They can only guess from what they’ve been given and seen.

You decide to keep your guard up.

“The question you wanted to ask,” perhaps he felt you trying to run from him so he changes the subject, “What was it?”

Right.

“When I take Kiwi out on walks, I’m sure you realize there may be people out there who will take advantage of those times. I don’t know the streets well and I don’t know who means well and who wants Kiwi dead. So I wanted to ask; the people that decide to come after me during Kiwi’s walk time, do you want them dead or alive when I bring them to you?”

So blunt and straight to the point, Alexander chuckles at that, amused.

“I’m sure a disciple of Master Kita will come to understand who poses a threat and who doesn't. I don’t care about the lives of those who want my little puppy dead. It doesn’t matter who they are, if they come after him, kill them. After all,” his eyes are gentle when he looks down at the puppy, though there’s a glint of danger that flashes in the light of his eyes, “only people with evil hearts will want to hurt an innocent puppy.”

Evil hearts. What a strange way to put it that way.

You get too curious not to ask; “Do you believe we aren’t evil? A little kid might subject us to the same category as them. We all kill after all. It doesn’t matter what, it doesn’t matter who. Killers are all evil in the eyes of some.”

He doesn’t think much on it when he answers your question. “In my eyes, many of us, like you and I, kill only for survival.” You and I, he says. “If an apocalypse were to happen, you’d kill a zombie for survival, wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t just it bite you and you certainly wouldn’t let them bite someone you care for. You’d kill them. For survival.”

He looks up, eyes as clear as day. “This business we’re in…we’re in the same boat.”

Killing to survive.

Killing because there is no other choice.

You don’t think you’ve ever met a man like him who seems so sentimental on life as if a part of him is satisfied with what he’s gone through but he also holds some regret, things he knows beyond you, years he’s lived more than you, and has gained wisdom from all the experience.

No one from this business has ever looked in the same lens as he does on life and you hate it.

You hate how it makes you feel.

So you drop the subject and leave the greenhouse, feeling that creepy sense of goosebumps on your body as you go.

When Kiwi wakes from his nap a little after, he comes to find you and you take him out on the walk you promised him before that meeting with Alexander.

The walk is nice, the scenery different from that of Seoul, and the breath of fresh air it allows you to intake with a piece of mind helps you remain calm and collected. Kiwi walks beside you without a leash, his little feet taking you down the paths as if he’s done this a thousand times before, with his little nose curious at every little thing around him.

He doesn’t ever stray away and you guess perhaps even the little one understands the dangers of what it means to be himself. In all honesty, you prefer cats over dogs but you have to admit this isn’t so bad — well, being in Norway helps, you guess.

In Seoul, the streets wouldn’t forgive you for taking a walk so carefreely like this.

But of course, Norway has its own dangers. You are taking care of a prominent figure of a powerful mafia after all.

For the most part, you had been following Kiwi and letting him guide you where his nose leads him, but when the two of you come towards a lake where lies a bridge at the center, the little puppy suddenly stops in his tracks, sniffs the air, before retracing back to you.

Your brows furrow slightly when he steps up to your feet, hiding in between them, and when you hear a small noise out of the ordinary and look up with a calm gaze at the sudden new presence that has now surround the both of you, an exasperated sigh leaves you.

So much for peace and quiet.

“Hey lady, what’re you doing with that dog?” A man asks in Norwegian.

“Dog sitting,” you reply in English.

They look amongst one another, confusion plastered on their faces probably because they’ve never seen you around before and when Kiwi grinds his teeth and growls lowly at them, you put a foot closer to him, trying to ease the little puppy.

“What happened to the old sitter? Dead?” He speaks up again, a brow raised your way. Perhaps he’s testing your ability to understand him so when he speaks in his language, you continue replying in English with perfect understanding of one another.

“Not dead. I’m just a temporary sitter.”

“And who are you? I’ve never seen you around Alexander before.”

“Just a common girl.” You take a small step back seeing the way he reaches for something in his pockets.

“You should know that the streets are dangerous.”

A little chuckle leaves you. “I wouldn’t be trusted with Alexander’s dog if I didn’t know that, now would I? Still, that’s a very bad idea,” you beckon at the gun he pulls out. “You wouldn’t want to do that.”

The corner of his lip curls upwards as he brings his gun forward to his face, playing with it just as his friends start to close in on you. “And why not? Are you afraid, little common girl?”

“Afraid?” You tilt your head back, laughing. “No, no, it’s not me who should be afraid.” He sends you a furrow in his brows at the way you look so relaxed and so you go on. “Alexander has already given me permission to eliminate anyone who poses a threat, which means I don’t have to go easy on you or spare your lives.”

“Really?” He scoffs, taunting you. “One against seven, you really think a little girl like you can take us?”

“Oh no, I’m not talking about me, though you’d be surprised I can totally take you.”

“What?”

“You should learn to heighten your senses, old man, maybe then you’d realize we aren’t the only ones here.” With that signal, someone from the group has their neck slashed from behind and another one gets shot right in the head. 

One by one, they fall as you calmly pick up the scared little dog and stroke along his head to calm him down. He leans into your touch as the two of you ignore what’s happening around you, and once he finally seems alright again, you turn back to where Jungkook and Hoseok are standing, the enemies all dead on the ground.

You take one glance down at the dead bodies before checking the time on your watch. “I’ll inform Alexander and have his people clean this up,” you say as you reach for your phone. “Meanwhile, would one of you like to accompany me back to his mansion? Take on the role Taehyung took back at London?”

Jungkook comes along while Hoseok stays back and the walk back for the most part lies in silence.

Drama only occurs once you return to the mansion, hearing the sound of a familiar voice you haven’t heard in some time now. He shouts angrily you hear it through the halls and when you walk into the living room, you find Karl Larsen with three of his men behind him, reprimanding poor little Ester with Asher standing off to the side, looking bored and exasperated of his uncle.

No one stops him.

“Are you that incompetent? Just how useless are you that my father has to choose a stranger to take over your job? I told you to keep an eye on that mutt and you can’t even do that?”

Huh. Who would have thought Ester was actually Karl’s servant who had been assigned to look over Kiwi before you came in to take over temporarily? Though from the looks of it, when she cowers in fear under his demands, her head lowered, eyes tightly shut, shoulders trembling slightly, she doesn’t like this man so much.

Who does after all?

But she did look a lot more carefree living in this manor, looking after Kiwi under Alexander’s commands. Alexander isn’t known to bring just anyone in to work for him, which means Ester managed to gain his trust. He’s good at knowing who to trust, he wouldn’t just be easily swayed by his own blood’s opinions, so if given the chance, you believe that Ester wouldn’t hesitate to betray Karl.

She’s a sweet girl, you don’t doubt that.

Asher on the other hand, you aren’t too sure if a man like him deserves the benefit of the doubt.

He senses your presence though, unlike Karl and his men, and when he looks up to meet your eyes from the entryway of the living room, he stands up a little more straight, a small curl turning upwards upon the corner of his lips.

Maybe he’s just bored with petty family affairs and has no say in what his uncle wants or does. Family positions are important in the mafia after all.

“Where is she? The new girl?” Karl’s voice snaps back, his eyes bulging and you step towards them despite Jungkook’s caution, knowing the signs of that man. “Bring her to me now, you useless—”

His hand raises in the air and before it can come down at the young girl’s head, you grab his wrist mid-air with your left hand, stopping him successfully. “If you’re really that upset about the change, why don’t you bring it up to your father, spoiled old man?”

His brows furrow tightly when he looks your way initially, before his expression begins to cool and soften when he realizes just who it is that dared to stop him from punishing his subordinate. The strength of his arm weakens and he brings it back to his side, fixing the cuff of his suit, while a smirk plays on his lips as he keeps his gaze on you.

“Y/N,” the way he says your name makes you want to vomit and though for a second looking at that familiar, disgusting smirk on his face causes your mind to want to resurface the memories of all the things he’s done, you keep them back in, focusing on other things to not trigger it. “Look at you, you’ve grown so much since the last time I saw you. What are you doing here in Norway? Came to pay me a visit?”

He doesn’t know what happened to your father, you realize through those words, which is a bit surprising because of how close the two of them were, but then again, after the wipe of your father and his people, it kind of makes sense Karl never got word of your father’s death.

Both Asher and Jungkook are confused about the way Karl is acting so friendly and close to you, as well as the way he just naturally turns his attention from being angry at Ester to invite you to take a seat.

You follow him and settle Kiwi in your lap and see the way he glances at the puppy, a slight bitterness contouring his features before it disappears all too quickly.

He doesn’t like Kiwi, that much is clear, and with the way he addresses you, you can tell this man still thinks you of the naive little girl who would submit to just anyone without fighting back.

“Your words are a lot sharper than they used to be,” he notes, remembering the way you spoke to him. “Seems you’re finally growing into the woman that your father trained you to be.”

With a hand stroking the fur of Kiwi’s, you take a look at his three men. One of them is someone you recognize, the other two are completely new faces.

“Tell me then, how have you been since I left Seoul?”

One year, he came and left — not even one year but a summer, four months — and that was all it took for him to do all the things he’d done.

“I have news to give you, sir,” you say and he tsks at you.

“Come on now, call me what you used to call me. We were close, weren’t we? Don’t treat me like a stranger now, Y/N.”

He puts a hand on your shoulder and you bite your tongue back, resisting the urge to run from his touch. So with a tight grin, you give him the news he’s been needing to catch up on. “I am the Grim Reaper now..uncle.”

That amused expression on his face falls slightly, masked with surprise and confusion, and he takes one look at Jungkook who stands guard behind you, before returning his gaze back on you, flabbergasted.

“Your father’s dead?” He breathes, not believing it. “Why didn’t anyone tell me? How’d he die?”

Telling him the truth now would lead to an outburst from him and you can’t have Jungkook seeing that. Karl is a madman and if he knows of the truth here before strangers outside his and your people, he will definitely forget about the way your true relationship with your father is supposed to be kept a secret from the public.

“I apologize, uncle, preparations for his funeral and my succession took longer than expected.” Jungkook knows those words aren’t true but thankfully he knows to keep quiet.

“I could have helped,” Karl insists and you give him a pressed smile.

It’s strange the way he can’t comprehend just why the daughter of his friend whom he’s hurt many times did not want him involved in her family affairs, but you guess the minds of psychopaths are just like that. They can understand human emotions but they cannot feel them, and so they cannot emphasize with others.

“Do you not remember all the things you’ve done to me?” You want to ask him. “Do you not recall what you and father had done? Why would I want your help?” But you bite your tongue back just as Kiwi stirs from your touch, probably sensing a change in you.

The more you face the people who have done you wrong, the harder it is to keep the facade, you realize. Namjoon once said to stop before it all breaks you and you told him broken things cannot be broken even more but perhaps they can.

They can.

You’ve reached your breaking point before, not just once or twice, and yet it seems the world has just proven to you that glass can keep shattering and shattering until there is nothing left but dust.

Are you prepared to turn into dust?

You are. You’ve said it before.

“A broken glass can never mend itself to the way it used to be, the only thing it can do is break even more.”

You were prepared, your body was, but is your mind prepared? Will your mind ever be prepared?

No one is ever prepared to be broken, even if they think they are, and breaking again and again does not make you numb to the pain.

Kiwi whimpers on your lap, his head nuzzling into the palm of your hand when you stop stroking him. They say that dogs can smell human emotions and in turn, adopt them as their own, and hearing the distress whimpers, you try to return to Karl and give him a reply and yet nothing happens. You can’t even open your mouth to speak. You feel frozen on the spot.

Why now? Why now, whynow, whynow,whynowwhynow?

Footsteps are heard upon the silence of the room. “What’s making my Kiwi sound like that?” A low rumble demands an answer but you remain still, unable to move.

You feel paralyzed.

Kiwi looks up at his master’s voice for a second before going back to nuzzle against you and lend you his warmth, and while the people in the room stand up straight at his presence, Karl even going up to greet his father, you remain planted on the sofa.

Alexander ignores Karl to walk over to where his puppy is. He takes a glance your way, with Asher confused and Jungkook concerned and a little panicked because of the state you’re in, but rather than making this a big deal and reprimanding you for causing his puppy to sound the way he does, Alexander instead remains calm.

“Come here, Kiwi,” he calls, and though the pup hesitates at first, looking between you and his master, he eventually jumps up and into Alexander’s arms. “Karl, I’ll deal with you later. Right now I’m too busy to entertain guests.”

Though Karl looks like he wants to protest at first, he nods in reply, knowing he cannot talk back to his father. You were hoping he’d just leave it at that and go ahead with his men but for some reason, he just has to turn to you.

“My deepest condolences, Y/N. Let’s have tea to catch up next time, yeah?” Unable to grasp the situation, he reaches out to place a hand on your cheek, a smile on his face, before he arches his back straight again to bid Alexander goodbye.

In that moment, you stand, though it’s only because staying on that couch feels disgusting now having to sit still and do nothing when he reached out to touch you. You hate the touch, it burns you, but you remain silent when you stand a little behind Alexander, nodding Karl goodbye, and only once he leaves does the room feel a little easier to breathe in.

Just a little.

.

.

.

“Should I call Mingyu?” Jungkook asks when you return to the room Alexander prepared for you that first night you met him. He watches you with keen eyes and observance as you walk further into the room, away from the door, eyes still refusing to look anyone in the eyes, silent with a blank expression. “Or..should I leave the room?”

You don’t give him an answer but you’re thinking.

How far is it from here to the manor Namjoon prepared for you? A couple of minutes away by vehicle, which means it wouldn’t be that difficult for him to come here. But him coming here would mean a hassle because then you’d have to let the people here know that Mingyu’s one of yours and you don’t feel like interacting with anyone right now. A letter in your handwriting wouldn’t suffice either because they don’t know your handwriting.

You could honestly call Ester and describe Mingyu’s face to tell her he’s with you but that would mean interacting.

Jungkook could leave the room and yet the thought of him leaving gives a small dread in the pits of your stomach because you hate being alone and left in an unfamiliar place and right now he’s the only thing that’s familiar to you.

Familiar.

How funny that this familiar person left you to fend for yourself and gave you his cold shoulders when you needed him most.

And yet there’s no other choice.

So just like back in London when you familiarized yourself with Seokjin’s warmth and kindness for that split second, you turn around to face Jungkook.

He stands far from you, having not moved from the door since the two of you walked in, and a part of you hates that despite what he’s done to you, you know Jungkook is a man with natural kindness and would never do anything that would harm you on purpose. You see it in the way he keeps his distance, in the two questions he asked, how he doesn’t try to approach you, that unlike Karl who doesn’t know how to take a hint, he understands your fear of being touched by men even though you did allow Yoongi to hold you and poked Seokjin slightly on the shoulder.

He respects your boundaries. He always had, he always did.

So why did it have to end with him giving you the cold shoulders and pretending he hated you? Why did things have to turn out the way it did?

You’re so tired. Tired of everything.

“Come here,” you call for him, and you hate how even when you give him permission to come close, he still hesitates, concerned for the state of your mind.

When he approaches, his steps are slow, and once he’s inches away from you, you hold out the palm of your hand.

“I want you to help me with something,” you say, “you don’t have to do much, just..stay still and…and give me your hand.”

His brows are knitted, eyes staring down at your palm as if this isn’t a good idea. “I’m sorry,” he tells you, feeling conflicted. “Hoseok should have been here, we should have switched places. He would’ve been a better choice in—”

“I know Hoseok would have been the better choice but we can’t turn back time now can we?!” Your patience is starting to wear thin and when he flinches a little at the way you raise your voice, your own eyes widen at what you’d just done. Shocked at how easy it was to lose control, and when you begin to spiral out of fear for raising your voice at him, you put your hands in your hair, trembling.

“I’m sorry, please just…just help me, Jungkook. You have to replace what he did. I hate it, I hate his touch, and right now I’d rather feel your touch than his so please…please?” You look up at him, not caring that you’re pleading and looking desperate.

When he sees it, sees the way your eyes gloss over with a glaze of water, at your panicked tone and your begging for his help, he gives you his hand.

You take it and press his palm onto your cheek, over that burning feeling from where Karl touched you, and the peace that you yearned for doesn’t come right away. You struggle for a bit and your legs almost give in from the weakness but Jungkook’s right there to hold you up and bring you over to the bed so that you don’t have to rely on your legs. 

He remains standing before you, watching as you rest your eyes while keeping his hand pressed to your skin.

It takes some time for the storm to wash away and for the calm to walk over but it comes, eventually, and when it does come, it isn’t in the way it is with Mingyu. Jungkook doesn’t give you the sort of calm that your second in command gives you, though you expected it because no one can replace Mingyu’s warmth.

The sort of calm Jungkook gives you follows with pain and grief over what had been lost all those years ago.

His warmth, his presence, his puppy-like self following you around, willing to do anything and everything for you. He’d always been such a quiet man who follows the rules well, who does everything with great effort, who is sometimes too naive and gets roped up in Jimin’s antics and gets scolded for things he didn’t do.

Always there to lend you his jacket when you shivered in the slightest way, always there to protect you from anyone that bothered you, noticing the smallest things, and though you relied on him for a lot of things, he relied on you in turn as well.

You understood him in ways the others couldn’t, the two of you in love like those two innocent little kids who were finding out what it meant to love someone for the first time. Soft and gentle, a bit awkward and clumsy.

“They didn’t have the drink that you like but I got you…” He walks back with a hand holding onto a glass of something for you to drink, but in the middle of his sentence, Jungkook’s expression falls. “...Something happened.”

Immediately, he’s shifting his head around to try and find who it was that approached you tonight but before he can get too far, you’re grabbing ahold of his arm and pulling his attention back on you. 

“It…nothing happened,” you insist with a bit of panic on your expression, afraid of what Jungkook might do out in public like this, all the while trying to see if you can catch of glimpse of Namjoon anywhere on the floor. Thankfully he isn’t around, otherwise he’d be able to also tell something was wrong with one look your way.

There are days when hiding your emotions are easy and there are other days when it’s a little more difficult. Like on the days when people make you uncomfortable and you just can’t seem to hide it well. Those days are hard.

And Jungkook, who looks back at you, clearly doesn’t buy your little protest. “Y/N, I need you to just point out—”

“Please.” You squeeze his biceps, holding yourself close to him, pleading with your eyes as you look up at him, and Jungkook immediately recognizes just what those eyes are trying to tell him;

‘Don’t leave me alone.’

You’re frightened, he realizes, and after a small look around the room to check his surrounding, he brings you in close to him and keeps you by his side as he takes your hand and brings you around to an empty space where the two of you can be left alone together.

“Is there anything you need?” Is the first thing he asks you as he sits you down on a seat in the empty room, but you simply shake your head and squeeze his hand tight.

“Just you,” you say in a quiet voice, and Jungkook stays with you that night without ever leaving your side, all the while you simply hold onto the touch of his hand, the feel of it a comfort unlike any other.

His touch reminds you of those memories, of the past and the tears and the smiles, and though you hate the pain that it resurfaces, you’d rather revel in this pain than the pain of remembering the memories with Karl.

cry me a river | the unprepared (part 23) — coming may 1st @7:00am est

"no one is ever prepared to be broken, even if they think they are, and breaking again and again does not make you numb to the pain"