Justme-justhere-justnerdstuff - There Are No Bad Dogs. - Tumblr Blog
See, you'd think that until they miss your mom's birthday or forget your anniversary and try to justify it like. "I'm SO sorry I was working on this tremendously important magical breakthrough instead of considering your emotions. One day you'll understand. They'll all understand"
i'm gonna make a poll :D
You were once the most powerful villain. You retired early and are engaged to a minor super hero who isn’t aware of your past. They are about to be killed right before your eyes..but you step in.
all right so here's the schedule of when dracula daily will be updated, as gleaned from the archives
please share this, it was a pain in the ass
new tumblr people if you have a blank blog and you only like stuff but never reblog anything people are going to assume you're not a real person and block you
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”
“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”
“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”
___
…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.
“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”
___
…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.
“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”
They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.
“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”
“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”
___
…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”
“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”
“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”
“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”
“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.
The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”
The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.
___
A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.
They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.
___
…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.
The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”
The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”
But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.
“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.
“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”
“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.”
___
…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”
“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”
___
“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”
“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”
___
…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”
___
…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”
___
…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”
___
“I love you,” said the scorpion.
The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”
“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”
The frog swam on, the both of them silent.
___
“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”
“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”
The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”
“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.”
“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?”
“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”
“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”
“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”
___
“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”
“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.
The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”
“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”
Things I have learned by joining the local Methodist Church’s coffee & knitting circle (where I am the only person under 60 years old):
How to double knit very, very quickly
Mrs. Jonson on the third pew won’t mind her own business, bless her heart. And she buys her pies pre-made for all the church functions.
Ways that women cheated the system in 1950s Texas to get into college and start careers. Including a memorable “He told me I wouldn’t last a week, but then 6 years later, I had to let him go because his production was way down.” *drinks sip of coffee*
We Might Be Conservative But Gosh Darn That Trump Bless His Heart He Doesn’t Know Anything About God Or Texas
And On That Note, God And Texas Are The Only Good Things Left In The World. Erin Write That Down.
How to rescue a dropped stitch and make it look like it never happened
Public schools and inclusive, desegregated education will single-handedly save the world
Sharing recipes is a sacred bonding and community-building tradition that rivals the greatest political negotiations and land deals in history
“It’s better that you prefer girls honey, the Boyfriend Curse doesn’t apply to your girlfriend and a lovin’ god’ll keep on a-lovin. You better make that girl a sweater.’”
(Boyfriend Curse = knit a sweater for a boy and he’ll leave you when you finish it)
Mrs. Barbara’s husband cheated in ‘76, resulting in a divorce. She thought it was the end of the world because her youth had already passed, but now she’s an engineer and married to a kind, good man who she met when she went back to college in ‘79.
“The only things you can trust in are God, your good sense, and the wisdom of those older women you grew up admiring. The rest is crap.”
Wow the game of thrones ending was great. Here are some of my favourite bits…
When Dany accepted the city’s surrender and offered the Lannister army a chance to bend the knee? And one by one they all knelt while the music swelled and Drogon soared overhead? Gorgeous.
Jaime sneaking into KL to stop Cersei’s escape? The way she begged him to help her for the sake of their child? When he told her it was for that child, and all the other innocents, living and dead, that he wouldn’t let her leave? poetic - it really reminded us about the key difference in their core values.
Cersei’s trial was amazing… Dany asked who would be her champion and no one stood, but Cersei didn’t cry or beg (her eyes flicked to Jaime and then quickly back to the Throne, while Jaime held Brienne’s hand with white knuckles but didn’t turn or falter). The way Tyrion looked into Cersei’s eyes, and it was so reminiscent of when she had him on that farcical trial for Joffrey’s murder?? Chills.
Dany judging that Cersei would be held prisoner until the birth of her child, after which she would be executed for her crimes? Just and fair by Westerosi standards - and consistent with Danny’s moral code.
Watching Cersei be led out in chains, fierce and hateful as ever, with her head high and tears in her eyes, while that mournful Castamere reprisal played was so satisfying!
The scene where Dany burnt Euron (who we hadn’t seen since he fell into the water) and the remaining Lannister loyalists was intense and brutal - it reminded us that Dany is not inherently forgiving of her enemies … but of course all our other favs have killed people in cold blood (Jon, Arya, Sansa, Brienne, Tyrion, etc…), and this show isn’t about black and white morality.
It was surprisingly sad to see Jon telling Dany that he can’t be with her and won’t be staying in Kings Landing. His father may have been a Targaryen, but his mother was a Stark, and Jon’s home is in the North. His little quip about having already done enough south of the wall - ‘might as well see what happens on other side’ - neatly explained to the audience his plan to join the free folk without being corny or heavy-handed, and reminded us that Jon has done what he was brought back to do - his watch has ended and its time for him to rest. (Besides, we know he promised Ghost he’d come back for him when he gave him those good good pets a few episodes ago.)
I was riveted by that intimate scene where Sansa and Dany negotiated the North’s independence, with Sansa driving a hard bargain while offering ‘concessions’ — pledging favourable trade terms, accepting settlements of Dothraki and Unsullied as citizens, and of course not telling anyone about Jon. Dany of course pretended not to hear the implied threats (~we could disrupt the economy and supply of food, we could turn against a strange queen and her foreign mercenaries, we could undermine your right to rule~) and (publicly) graciously granted the North to Queen Sansa Stark.
I loved how, with Politics out of the way, the women struck up a wary but hopeful friendship that bode well for peace between the Queendoms.
It was bittersweet to see Tyrion on the docks, holding Varys’ rings, while the destroyed wall was being rebuilt behind him. I bawled when he tearfully said ‘proving you wrong isn’t nearly so fun when you’re not here … goodbye … old friend,” and let the rings fall. It reminded us that getting to this point was not easy, and that good people were lost along the way.
I loved that when Sansa offered Brienne a place in her Queensguard, Brienne declined. (Once upon a time it was everything she wanted … but her father is getting old and Tarth will need her to take up governance when he dies. ‘Besides,’ she said ‘the North is too cold.’ Sansa narrowed her eyes at this - ‘you never minded the cold’ - and Brienne cracked a little smile. ‘No,’ she said. ‘I didn’t.’). I felt that it was really satisfying for Brienne to be going home in high honor as both a lady and a knight -proving wrong anyone who tormented her and finally uniting those aspects of her identity (and the strong implication that Jaime goes with her made my romantic heart explode - I can’t wait for the fic that elaborates on this).
That shot of Sansa in her crown, with Arya (and NYMERIA EEEE!!!) standing in light queensguard armor on one side and Bran in his chair on the other, made me want to cheer along with all the Northern Lords. They went through so much separately, but the pack survives. I wish Jon could have been there, but the previous scene - when he said goodbye before going beyond the wall - was enough.
Dany’s final scenes … watching the wounds of war be healed with brick and patience and determination … appointing Yara, Grey Worm, Missandei (who never got fridged bc that would be stupid and racist), Davos, and Sam to her small council … pardoning Tyrion’s release of Jaime (without which Cersei would have escaped) … riding Drogon high above the city as the smallfolk first cower in fear, and then realise she has no intention of harming them, as children run through the streets shrieking - not away from the great beast, but towards it - and she slides off her Dragon to meet them. Finally, the lies have become truth and the people of Westeros cry out her name in adoration - after everything she has lost, the Dragon Queen is home, and she is loved.
Man I am so glad they didn’t screw it up and make Dany lose her mind, and Cersei die crying and pregnant.
I’m sure happy Arya didn’t abandon her family to become a pirate(?), and Bronn the Unreliable didn’t become master of coin.
I’m really glad they didn’t throw away Jamie’s character development and make him die in the arms of his evil abusive sister who just sent Bronn to kill him - it would have sucked to have come away with the idea that people can’t leave toxic relationships or become better people through hard work and sacrifice.
I’m thrilled that Brienne didn’t live the rest of her life alone, but rather earned respect for herself and found fulfilment and love in her family and in her relationships.
I’m sooo happy that Jon didn’t murder Dany in a miserable parody of love — it would have been really shitty to have the empowered survivor of rape and abuse be lied to and summarily executed by her lover because he didn’t agree with her choices.
Remember those crazy theories that Bran would become King and Sam is George RR Martin?? Haha. I bet those people feel silly because that would make no sense and seem super trite.
A faerie introduces himself. Then, holding out a hand, asks, “And your name, please?”
And, like a fool, you give it to him.
Cellulose nitrate was used to make dice from the late 1860s until the middle of the twentieth century, and the material remains stable for decades. Then, in a flash, they can dramatically decompose. Nitric acid is released in a process called outgassing. The dice cleave, crumble, and then implode.
From Dice: Deception, Fate & Rotten Luck by Ricky Jay and Rosamond Purcell, 2002.
Infps, how come?
How come that you’re so lazy?
How come that you’re masters of procastinating?
How come that you go from one extreme to the next?
How come that one time you worked out, went to the gym 7 days a week for 2 months and then you just stopped for no apparent reason?
How come that you so good at ignoring reality?
How come that your house is so messy?
How come that you often simply don’t see the unwashed bowls and plates?
How come that you’re so good with languages?
How come that you’re so creative with writing and music and art in general?
How come that you tend to be very funny but how come you always make jokes in the most innapropiate situations?
How come that you love computer games?
How come that you learn computer games extremely fast?
How come that most of the games you play are fantasy or rpg?
How come that you always dress weird clothes?
How come that you like to be different
How come that you want to be different?
How come that you always try to avoid conflict?
How come that when someone is angry with you, you either apologize or you just shut down?
How come that you are so interested in people?
How come that you like to learn about psychology and philosophy?
How come that when something requires effort you just say “oh I’ll not be that then”?
How come that you often blabber out your ideas without thinking about them?
How come that when you are interested in a new topic you learn the heck out of it in 2 or 3 days and then once you learned enough about it you put it to the side?
How come that you always like to switch into other roles?
How come there are so many infp actors?
How come that you’re the type that ignores the things that you don’t like but once there’s a spark of passion, you go all in.
Corgi tries to be like his doggo friends but stumbles at the final hurdle. Good try though. Still 11/10
(Useless/Surprising) Magical Items
So I was having a lovely conversation with @princeofsparrows about magic and magical items and he sent me several links to very useful lists and tables. Those can be used by any DM to improve the game and set some more fun/challenge into the game without adding enemies or limiting themselves to always better armors and weapons.
My players usually discuss for an hour about the best way to open every door with a single rune on it (even if the rune actually just means “toilets”). So if I give them an omniously glowing fork and they will turn around it for half of the evening…
We decided to share with you some links with awesome ideas for loot (or your NPC merchants). The links below include (but are not limited to):
Belt of Pants: This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will.
Digging Spoon: This tiny spoon can dig through any substance with a forceful push.
Hungry coin: Cursed. Will attempt to eat other coins that it comes into contact with. Eats 100 coins an hour.
Crossbow of Whispers (Weapon, light crossbow): You can use an action to whisper a message and fire a bolt from this weapon at a target within range. If you hit, the target (and only the target) hears the message.
Scroll of Cure Blindness: Cures blindness when read.
So… The List™ :
Dakhem Uaid’s Big Book of Useless Magic Items - 200 items, some very useful some dangerous…
Alacrity’s Robe of Useful Items - 1 single item but it’s a robe of holding (kinda)
Goblin Punch: d100 Minor Magical Items - as stated in the title.
100 Interesting Magic Items: The first half - 50 items
donjon, 5e Random Generator - Weird Magic Item generator
(1) Reddit - 3.5 Or anything. DMs of Reddit! What is one of the weirdest homebrewed items you’ve given your players, that they appreciated?
(2) Reddit - Hilariously Useless Magical Items - Post your ideas!
RPG.NET - 101 Silly/Useless Magic Items - You need to read through 7 pages of the thread but there are some very nice ideas!
1001 most useless (dungeons and dragons) magical items - There are actually 21 of them on this list but they are really useless. It could be nice to drop something like that on the players so they can have some fun…
Now I will let @princeofsparrows to continue. He still has some things to add :)
I follow a geology memes page on facebook and it is the most incomprehensible set of niche memes i have ever seen
yknow theres a lot of pressure to be successful, particularly on artsy kids whose professions are seen as useless unless theyre famous, but life is fucking hard and sometimes things dont turn out
but i think thats not bad. my dad has wanted to be a musician forever, and hes rly pretty good. but then he joined the military to get away from an abusive family, and then he got married, and then he got divorced, and a lot of horrible shit HAPPENED. he has ptsd and severe anxiety and he could never really get back on the horse. and he never made it as a musician, and now hes 53
but i grew up in a house full of instruments, and he can play all of them, and some of my earliest memories are of him playing guitar on the front porch and me thinking there wasnt a better musician in the world. so. even if you dont get to the stars, exactly, what you do isnt worthless. its not a waste of time if life is difficult and you cant make it, or if you arent famous, or if your work doesn’t influence thousands of people. it will influence someone
there are a million ways to be happy and a million ways to be a successful artist. we create what we do to enhance the human experience and relate to each other and improve ourselves. theres something to be said for just doing that,,,for the sake of doing it, yknow