Sweet Boy

Sweet boy

201002  Mikrokosmos @ Jimmy Fallon

Oooffff this is a rollercoaster...

My Masterlist

Kim Namjoon

A Dangerous game

part 1   part 2   part 3   part 4    part 5   part 6   part 7   part 8  part 9  part 10  part 11   part 12  part 13  part 14  part 15   part 16  part 17  part 18   part 19   part 20  part 21  part 22  part 23  part 24  part 25  part 26  part 27  part 28  part 29  part 30

Ok. My heart just broke..

Calamity

Pairing: Taehyung × Reader | Taehyung × Yoongi  | Jungkook  × Reader

Genre: Angst

Synopsis: YN has been in love with her best friend ever since she could remember, despite his playboy habits. But what will happen when Taehyung makes a confession that gives her no choice to move on? And what will Taehyung do when he discovers pieces of himself he didn’t even know existed?

Dedicated to @cielita the og babygirl

Y/N remembered the first time Taehyung introduced her to his girlfriend. The two of them were newly sixteen at the time, bodies slightly awkward and confidence at an all time low. But Taehyung shone. Sixteen with a smile that melted hearts and a heart that made smiles wherever he went.

It was a Tuesday. School had just begun, junior year filled with AP classes and SATs, nervous driving and two am existential crises.

But Tuesdays were the best. Tuesdays were the only days where neither YN nor Tae had obligations. No clubs, no study groups, no part times. They were free as soon as the final bell rang.

Of course, the two best friends texted constantly and called each other at least once a day, but nothing was better than hanging out in person.

YN stood next to Tae’s car - a worn in white KIA, rocking back and forth on her heels as she waited for her tall best friend. She had taken her first test of the year and already knew she bombed it, precalc kicking her ass.

She expected to slide into the car with Tae, immediately take her shoes off and put her feet up against the windshield, lamenting her struggles as Taehyung nodded and agreed and cursed her obnoxious teacher who she was sure had to be divorced three or four times.

What she did not expect, however, was Taehyung to exit the school building with some girl - the preppy type with the push up bra and a smile too wide to possibly be genuine.

YN’s heart fell dead in her chest. She struggled to make up another reason for the new girl’s appearance.

Maybe she’s a new friend? Or maybe she’s related to him? They could have a project together! Or maybe their moms are friends.

YN didn’t say anything as the pair - she refused to call them a couple - approached. She simply stood there, gripping onto the straps of her backpack like a lifeline.

“YN,” Taehyung said, grinning at her in the way that kept her awake at night, “this is Hyejin,”

The girl smiled at her politely and offered a hand. YN took it, schooling her features as best she could.

When YN didn’t say anything, simply stood there, Taehyung jumped in.

“Hyejin, this is YN. She’s my best friend,”

YN never knew she could hate two words so much.

The car ride was awkward to say the least. Taehyung, the kind soul he is, tried to break the tension, but after the second attempt decided there was nothing he could do.

The three teens watched a movie - some action flick that YN paid no attention to - in silence. No one even reacted when cars exploded.

Under the darkness, YN still saw the way Hyejin leaned into Taehyung, the way they held hands loosely.

She saw him kiss her goodnight when her parents came to pick her up.

“You okay?” Tae asked, “You’ve been out of if all day,”

“Yeah,” she said, not looking him in the face, “I just had a hard day,”

“Wanna talk about it?” Tae, the ever caring friend asked.

She shook her head.

“No, I’m just tired,”

YN cried harder than ever before that night.

Two months later, Taehyung and Hyejin broke up. YN didn’t even get the chance to entertain the thought of it being because of her. He had a new girlfriend a week later.

The pattern continued throughout the rest of highschool and the first two years of college. YN slowly got used to the stinging pain every time Tae found someone new. He’d never been in a relationship longer than nine months, though that was extremely unusual. Most girls didn’t make it past two dates.

And yet, YN was comforted. She was that only girl that reminded in the now gorgeous man’s life. Girlfriend after girlfriend came and went and yet she was the one he returned to at night. She was the one who saw his bed head and who he turned to when the world pressed down on his shoulders.

That was better, wasn’t it? It was better to be his best friend if it meant staying in his life.

She had told herself that lie enough to begin to believe it.

But there was something wrong with Taehyung. He hasn’t been himself lately. Not only has he been without a date for the past five months, the last three weeks he’s been moping around, darkness lurking in his eyes. YN tried everything. She pretended nothing was wrong. She confronted him. Comforted him. Joked with him. Screamed at him. Ignored him. Smothered him with her time and attention.

But nothing worked. She almost didn’t remember what his smile looked like.

Today’s the day. She can feel it. Today’s the day the dam will break and Taehyung will finally open up to her.

She knows by the way he’s been going about. He’ll stare at her when he thinks she’s not looking. He’s zoned out multiple times already, looking like he’s having an internal battle. Whatever it is, it’s eating him up inside.

It’s not until eight pm that he speaks up. The two best friends are cuddled up in their shared apartment minutes away from the university they attend, staring at the TV without paying attention to what’s playing.

“I - I’ve been caught up on someone,” Taehyung says, eyes not moving from the screen.

YN is surprised. It’s never happened before. Taehyung always had a whole legion of women to pick from. He never wanted someone who didn’t want him back.

“Oh?” YN asks, keeping her tone emotionless, “who?”

Tae’s quiet. He’s quiet for a long time. In fact, the show that they’re watching ends and a new one begins before he speaks again.

“Yoongi. Min Yoongi,”

At the name, YN can’t stop herself from jerking upright, looking at Taehyung in vivid shock. The young man looks incredibly nervous, staring at the ceiling and twitching, his large hands clasping and unclasping repeatedly.

YN knew who Min Yoongi was. Yoongi, known across campus for every negative thing known to man. Drugs, cheating, skipping, hell, there’s even been rumors of gang involvement.

But that’s not what has YN so off kilter.

No.

Min Yoongi is a man.

Her best friend is caught up on a man.

“Say something,” Taehyung says so quietly YN can barely hear him over the sound of her pounding heart.

“Taehyung …”

“You’re upset, aren’t you? You’re disgusted. You can’t believe that you’re best friends with a fa-”

“Kim Taehyung! Don’t you dare call yourself that!”

Whatever shock YN is in flees as she sees how upset Taehyung is. Unshed tears well up in his eyes and he refuses to look at her. He takes short, quick breaths, seconds away from falling apart.

“I’m sorry,”

Her heart breaks. There’s nothing worse than seeing the person you’re in love with suffering.

She smiles softly at him, taking his warm face into her hands.

She wipes the tears away as she closes his eyes, leaning his whole weight on her smaller frame.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong, Taehyung,”

His face presses into her neck, fingers latched onto her shirt.

“You don’t hate me?”

“I could never,” YN says, rubbing circles gently into his back, “I was just surprised is all,”

“So you’re still my best friend?”

Her heart stings so badly it takes everything in her not to flinch.

“Of course, TaeTae,”

She refuses to break. Not when Taehyung looks like she just handed him the world. Just like always, she shoves her feelings down so deep she can pretend to have forgotten them.

It’s Taehyung first. Always Taehyung first.

“Let’s find something interesting to watch, huh? This show’s boring,” YN says, a wide smile on her face.

“Okay,”

“Okay,”

Taehyung is knocked out past midnight. YN makes sure to pull a blanket over his large form, knowing that she couldn’t possibly take him back to his room.

It’s only then, tucked into a ball at the back of her closet, fist on mouth, that she allows herself to shatter, sobs escaping out of her in waves.

A piece of her, one larger than she’d like to admit, always believed that Taehyung flew through women because it was her at the end of the day. Thought that he just wanted to try things out before the two of them settled down happily ever after.

How stupid she had been. How utterly idiotic. He’d been that way because he was lying to himself. It had nothing to do with her.

What a terrible best friend she had been.

The first two weeks after the confession proceeded as normal between YN and Taehyung.

It wasn’t until the third week when Taehyung ditched her to hang out with Min Yoongi that things began to change.

With a firm mind, YN decides that she has to treat herself better. She can’t spend the rest of her life pining after someone who’ll never love her. She deserves better than that.

In a way, YN is glad that Taehyung is gay. It eliminates any and all possibility of the two ever having any romantic relationship. It forces the girl to accept that her delusions were nothing more than that - just delusion.

It’s a God send, really.

YN can be a better best friend to Taehyung now. She can look at him, understand him better without love pounding through her veins. She can love herself more. Years of criticising every aspect of herself are over. Years of questioning what other girls have that she doesn’t are over. She can put herself on the market. Finally have a first date. Finally get a boyfriend. Finally be kissed and cherished and loved.

All she has to do now is get over Taehyung.

It’s not easy. As a matter of fact, it’s the hardest thing she’s ever had to do. She experiences every emotion known to man, nearly giving up and accepting that she’ll be in love with Kim Taehyung forever.

Failed dates spent comparing some poor guy to Taehyung.

Daydreams of what they could have been.

Hearing his laugh and seeing his smile.

All of these things make it so hard YN can barely breathe.

Some things help, though. Taehyung’s complete fascination with Yoongi, for example.

Taehyung hardly spends any time with YN now, despite the two living together. Every moment he’s not in class or at work he’s with Yoongi.

Not being around him helps a lot.

She’s happy for Tae, she really is. He’s happier now than he has been in a long time. The two seem to be good together, officially becoming boyfriends a month after dating.

Taehyung has never been happier. Being with Yoongi has helped him truly become himself. He feels like he can be unafraid when he’s with the other man, Yoongi’s wild side opening Taehyung up to new experiences. It took him a while, but soon he became a better person.

His life has never been better … except for one thing.

It’s a late night, Yoongi pulling out with a heavy pant and laying beside his younger boyfriend. Taehyung is still on the tailcoats of the bliss his recent orgasm, sleep tugging on his eyelids as he snuggles up to the smaller man.

“You’re staying the night?”

“Mm,” Tae mumbles, ready to go to sleep.

“Are you going to call YN?” Yoongi asks, playing with Tae’s hair.

“She knows where I am,”

Silence passes between the two of them.

“You …” Yoongi begins, not quite sure how to put it, “you guys haven’t been hanging out very much recently, huh?”

“I’ve been with you,” Taehyung says, clearly confused.

“I know that and I’m loving every second of it. It’s just that, before we started dating, I always saw you guys together. You were practically glued together at the hip. But I haven’t seen her around recently. You haven’t been talking about her much either. I just want to make sure you guys are okay. You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?” Yoongi asks.

Despite is rough exterior and somewhat shoddy reputation, Min Yoongi is a kind man and he cares about Taehyung very much. Loves him even, though he hasn’t said it yet. He knows how much YN means to his boyfriend. In the beginning, she was all he could talk about. He’d hate to find out the best friends were having a spat.

“Nothing’s wrong, we’re not fighting. She knows how much I like you, how much I want to be with you. She’s an understanding angel,”

Yoongi chuckles. There’s that missing fondness.

“Enough talk about YN. How about another round?” Taehyung asks, suddenly energized again.

Yoongi can’t say no to him.

It’s not until several weeks later than Taehyung starts to believe that maybe Yoongi had some reason to be worried. Tae can’t help but feel that Y/N is avoiding him.

Yoongi went out of town to visit his grandparents in another country, so Taehyung suddenly had a lot of free time. Yoongi wouldn’t be back for three weeks, which left plenty of time for Tae to hang out with YN. Despite missing his boyfriend, Taehyung was excited to have the chance to be with YN. He couldn’t remember the last time the Two of them had done anything together.

The hyper male knocks on his best friend’s door, a handful of DVDs bundled in his arms.

“Come in,” YN calls out.

Tae swings the door open to find YN sitting on her bed doing something on her laptop.

“I’m thinking we should watch the whole Lord of the Rings series,” Tae says, displaying his set of DVDs.

“Can’t, sorry” YN says, not even looking up from her laptop.

“What? Why?” Taehyung asks, “we can watch something else. Or we could go out,”

YN shakes her head, still not looking at him.

“I’m busy. As a matter of fact, I have to go,”

YN stands up quickly and slides her laptop into her backpack, hurrying past the stunned male.

“Don’t wait up,”

Later that night, Taehyung expresses his concern to Yoongi over the phone.

“You don’t think she’s mad at me, do you?” Tae asks, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom.

“I dunno. I’m not really close with her. Did you miss any special days or something?”

Tae shakes his head before remembering that Yoongi can’t see him.

“No. Her birthday’s months away. There’s nothing else special either,”

“Well, you haven’t spent a lot of time with her lately. Maybe she misses you,”

“Yeah, but I asked her to have a movie marathon with me and she ran out instead,”

By this point, Tae is pouting now, distressed.

“Maybe she really just had something to do,”

“Yeah,”  Taehyung says, “maybe she has an assignment. She was on her laptop,”

“Or maybe she’s dating,” Yoongi suggests.

Taehyung feels his heart stop.

“What?”

“Well, she could have been lonely without you. Maybe she’s got a boyfriend,”

“No no no no no,” Taehyung says, “she would have told me. She wouldn’t have kept that a secret,”

“Maybe she never got the chance to tell you,”

YN comes home at ten to nearly have a heart attack, as Taehyung had been sitting in the dark, suddenly speaking.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Oh my God, Tae!” YN exclaims, hand over her racing heart, “You scared me,”

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Tae repeats.

“First off,” YN begins, turning on the light, “stop sitting here in the dark like a weirdo. You almost killed me,”

Taehyung does not look impressed.

“Secondly, no, I don’t. I would have told you. We’re best friends after all,”

And yet, YN makes up every excuse to avoid hanging out with Taehyung. It gets so bad that Taehyung breaks down in Yoongi’s arms when he gets back home.

“I don’t know what’s wrong!” Taehyung sobs, “she’s avoiding me. I know she is!”

Yoongi, at a loss, does the only thing he knows how to do. The next day, the man tracks YN down, dragging her to a nearby cafe during lunch break.

Yoongi wastes no time.

“Why are you avoiding Taehyung?” Yoongi asks.

YN is startled.

“I - I’m not,” she stammers.

“Oh?” Yoongi says, pulling out his well known scary demeanor, ”then why was he falling apart yesterday, crying that you’ve been avoiding him like the plague,”

YN looks like a deer caught in headlights.

“I-”

“And don’t even think about lying,”

YN sighs heavily, like the world rests on her shoulders.

“I’ve just being going through something. I don’t want to worry Tae. He’ll get worked up over nothing,”

She wasn’t lying. Her feelings for Tae would mess everything up. Besides, she’s getting better. Every day she thinks of him less and less. Soon, she’ll be over him. She’s sure of it.

And she’s right. Eight months later, YN’s heart no longer stirs when she thinks of Taehyung. He’s simply her best friend, and she couldn’t be happier.

The two of them have went back to normal, late nights and laughs and silly jokes.

She’s even met a nice guy that she really likes, a music major (like Yoongi) named Jeon Jungkook.

He’s everything she’s ever wanted in a guy and he cares for her as well, making sure she knows how much he adores her every days.

Things couldn’t be better.

Kim Taehyung feels the exact opposite. In the beginning, he was relieved that YN started to hang out with him again. He chalked her strange behavior those few months to the stress of college.

And yet … it’s different.

It’s as if some invisible wall has been erected between the two of them that hadn’t been there before.

It certainly wasn’t helping that he and Yoongi were going through a rough spot. The older man had graduated, leaving Taehyung behind to pursue a job at an entertainment company. Granted, he was only half an hour away, but Taehyung felt abandoned.

He was always third wheeling with YN and Jungkook, who he hated.

Jungkook was all wrong for YN. He was too young. He made stupid jokes that weren’t funny. He didn’t have a car or a job, living at home with his parents.

He just rubbed Taehyung the wrong way. When Tae had tried to confront YN about it, they had a terrible fight, one of the worse ones in years.

YN ran out crying and he didn’t see her for a whole week, the girl even ignoring his calls and texts.

When he saw her again, she was with Jungkook, the two of them packing her stuff into cardboard boxes.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Taehyung yelled, announcing his presence to the couple.

Kookie looked two seconds from getting up and fighting Taehyung. The older boy was ready, anger causing him to want to pound Jungkook’s face it.

YN grabbed Jungkook’s wrist though, and Taehyung swore he hated nothing more than the sight of Jungkook softening when he looked at YN.

“I’ll talk to him. You keep going okay,”

Taehyung stood corrected moments later, when Jungkook pulled YN close for a kiss, his best friend grinning.

Tae was hot as the two of them stood in the living room.

“What’s going on?! Why are you leaving?!” Panic was setting in.

“I think it’s best if we have some distance. Besides, Kookie found a place that will suit the two of us really well,” YN smiles brightly, “It’s a really cute little house in a neighborhood a bit further from campus. The drive will be longer, but I really love it,”

“What about me?!”

“Don’t worry. I’ve saved enough up to still cover my half of the bills until you find another roommate,”

“No. What about me? Why are you leaving me?”

For the first time, Taehyung felt his heart crack.

“I’ll just be living somewhere else. I’m still your best friend, drama queen,” YN said, smiling at him.

For some reason, a knot forms in the pit of his stomach at his words.

“No, YN-”

“I’ve got to get back to packing Tae. The moving truck will be here tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’m only taking my things. Kookie already has all of the house things, appliances and such. You can keep them,”

She takes a step and before Tae can think of anything, before rationality can kick in, he’s pinned YN against the wall, his lips desperately on hers.

This is wrong! His subconscious screams at him. Wrong! What are you doing?? You have  Yoongi! You’re gay! This is YN! Your best friend since forever.

But his heart didn’t give two fucks because kissing YN was the best thing he’s ever felt. The feeling of her under his fingertips, the soft moan she let out, it was bliss.

He hardly noticed when Jungkook pulled him off of YN, or when his first slammed into his jaw. What he did notice, though, was the angry tears rolling down YN’s face as she glared at him.

“Fifteen years!! Fifteen years I was in love with you, Kim Taehyung! Ever since I knew what that word even meant! Fifteen years of dreaming and heartbreak. But I got over it because I realized you’d never love me, because you were happy with Yoongi!! How could you?! HOW COULD YOU BE THIS CRUEL?! JUST WHEN I GOT OVER YOU AND BECAME HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE?!”

YN was screaming at him now, Taehyung feeling like an elephant was standing on his chest.

“You broke my heart more times than any person should have to experience. And Yoongi … he really loves you, you know that? You don’t deserve him. You don’t deserve anyone! I hate you, Kim Taehyung, and I hope I never see you ever Again!”

Taehyung sat still on the floor hours after the two of them left, frozen as everything crashes down on him.

Kim Taehyung knew three things.

He’s bi, he’s in love with his best friend, and he’s the biggest asshole to ever walk the Earth.

He's just built like that...

some amazing hobi looks from today’s bangtan bombs

Imma start saying my prayers...

you asked for jin thirst and let me just,,,drop this photo right here,,,, imagine hickies all over his neck and shoulders aksbsjbs

Okay, but like imagine he’s looking down at you... 🥵

Awwwwww sweet Eunuch Kim... Was the word perhaps the beginning of a kinda i love you??

A girl can only dream.. Also, give it up for my girl OC! Coming up with new medicine and all. We stan a true queen, even if social status won't allow it..

Loved this update. 🖤

trivia: december 1866.

some truths are easier expressed through ink.

pairing: joseon king!yoongi x reader genre: fluff, drama words: 530 contains: historical au, eunuch kim being real cute a/n: the things discussed in this chapter are based off a real historical event! 

moonlit throne index. this is drabble 15. start from the beginning?

Chun-ja-ssi,

Have you been well? How is your son?

Please accept my apologies for how long it has been since my last letter. And yes, as well for the formal tone with which I must insist on writing in, no matter how you tease me for it, as it is what I am most accustomed to…

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