Imagine Being His Loving Wife Who Loves To Cook For Him

Imagine being his loving wife who loves to cook for him

and one day he pisses you off somehow and so what do you decide to do? cook his favorite dish of course

with an ungodly amount of salt

Your husband absolutely loves your cooking, so when he returned home from work to smell the warm scent of his favorite meal all of his troubles washed away.

You greeted him as sweetly and lovingly as you do every day, leading him to the dinner table and serving him his meal. You were beaming, seemingly excited for him to dig in.

And upon the first bite, he had to fight the urge to scrunch his face in both surprise and disgust. Not wanting to hurt your feelings, he gave you a shaky thumbs up with a simple "It's...really good."

Feigning ignorance, you asked him "What's wrong? Does it taste okay? You don't have to lie to me y'know, I can take it!"

"Well...it's a little salty."

He immediately started to panic at the sight of your eyes welling up with tears, immediately regretting his decision. How could he say that to you? You're perfect and he's such an awful husband for making you cry.

He frantically tries to calm you down, finishing the rest of his food in one go as a way to prove to you how much he enjoyed it (newsflash: he didn't).

"Please don't cry! Look, I finished it see? Mmmm, so good, thank you for the meal!"

Almost as quickly as you started, your cries stopped and turned into a sinister chuckle.

"I know it was bad, I did that on purpose. Next time don't piss me off, yeah?"

He stared dumfounded as you walked away, trying to recall what he did. Whatever it was, he had to make sure he'd never do it again.

NISHINOYA YUU, Daichi Sawamura, Joseph Joestar, Josuke Higashkata (like father like son amirite), GIYUU TOMIOKA, Obanai Iguro, Zenitsu Atsugama, Tanjiro Kamado, Takuma Ino and ur favs

haha tried something new today >.<

sᴍᴀᴜ!ʙʟʟᴋ ʙᴏʏs ʀᴇᴀᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʏʟᴀ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴛʀᴇɴᴅ

ɪɴᴄ: ɴᴀɢɪ, sᴀᴇ, ʀɪɴ, ɪsᴀɢɪ, ᴋᴀɪsᴇʀ, sʜɪᴅᴏᴜ, ʙᴀʀᴏᴜ, ʙᴀᴄʜɪʀᴀ

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ: sᴜɢɢᴇsᴛɪᴠᴇ, ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ

EVIL SMAU #3: — Problematic autocorrect 😯😯 Characters: Sae, Barou, Nagi, Ness, Kaiser, Shidou, Reo, Rin, Isagi, Bachira Type: Humor/Crackfic

Inspired by when I typed "since" and google docs changed it to "sensei" like wtf who is sensei bitch

uzui could fuck you to sleep and awake all in one night if he really wanted to. he put that dick down so well that it had you gasping for air like you went out for a ten-minute swim. you would think that having four wives would tire him out, exhaust him, and put him in hibernation for the next two weeks, but it did quite the opposite.

every time he would come see you, his eyes would sparkle right before fucking you crazy. he loved you so much it was almost indescribable, but a close second to loving you so much, he could hear his heart beat in his ears whenever he looked at you. he loved fucking you. there was something about how you felt that made him lose his sanity, and he just couldn't stop. the feeling of your pussy clenched around him had his cum leaking inside of you with every stroke.

foursomes were a no-go with you; he didn't even harp on it for a second longer; he wanted to give you and your body his undivided attention; he made love to your body and couldn't have any distractions when doing so. licking all on you, telling you how pretty you were when you took his dick, giving you hickies from your neck to your pussy, he was true to this, not new to this.

he made sure to take his time with you, one leg on his shoulder and his hand holding the other one up as he fucked you deep and slow, his hair down and a few strands sticking to his forehead, his hair swinging in and out of his view, but his eyes never left your face—the face that made his dick rock hard and made him want to put a baby in you. 

uzui wanted you badly, and not even he knew every single reason why, but his heart didn't lie. every time he was making his way back to see you, his heart skipped a beat, and his dick got hard; he couldn't help it even if he tried. he didn't want to play favorites, but it was looking that way when he did threesomes with everyone else but made one-on-one time to fuck you till the sheets were damp and your eyes were filled with tears.

groaning and whimpering every time he got the chance to be inside of you again, taking big gulps every time he pushed into your sweet spot, and watching you jump and squirm when he pushed and applied pressure on it without letting up. 

no one could compare to the way you felt and tasted; it was like eating a fruit that no one else could have; it tasted and felt different inside of his mouth, and he was going to let it be known. he didn't care who was saying what because all he could think about was you; all he ever wanted to be was around you. 

he never felt bad about giving you more attention because you lived alone while he lived with three other women, so in his mind, even though he was paying your rent, buying your groceries', and giving you his card, he just had to give you ten times more attention. that was man's logic.

or that was just the excuse he gave himself every time he found himself in you for the fifth time in the same day, with his hands on your hips pushing into you and kissing down the back of your neck, leaving his marks.

he was indeed picking favorites, but let's be real—who isn't picking you?

𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?

— 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗅!𝗂𝗍𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗂 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

— 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇𝗏𝗂𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝖺𝗍𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽’𝗌 𝗀𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝖺𝗇𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎. 𝗒𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗂𝗄𝗍𝗈𝗄 𝗌𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝗐𝗂𝗌𝖾.

— 𝖼𝗐: 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 (𝖨𝖬 𝖲𝖮𝖱𝖱𝖱𝖸𝖸𝖸𝖸𝖸𝖸𝖸 😭😭😭😭); 𝖾𝗑𝗉𝗅𝗂𝖼𝗂𝗍 (?) 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 (𝗌𝖺𝖾’𝗌 𝖿𝖺𝗇𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝖻𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅 𝖿𝗋𝖿𝗋); 𝖻𝗋𝗈 𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗐𝗄 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗏𝖾 (𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖻𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽); 𝗁𝖾’𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗀𝗈 𝖻𝗅𝗎𝖾 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖽𝗋𝖺𝗀𝗈𝗇 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗀𝖺𝗆𝖾 (𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅); 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗎𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗌 (𝗅𝗈𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗅𝗒); 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝗈𝖼 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝖾 𝖻𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝗆𝖺𝗇 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽 𝗆𝗁𝗆

— 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾: 𝗂 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗍 𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖧𝖨𝖴𝖠𝖥𝖲𝖠𝖥𝖩 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒𝗒𝗒!! 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗎 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗇 𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖴𝖲𝖣𝖧 𝖧𝖮𝖯𝖤 𝖨 𝖣𝖤𝖫𝖨𝖵𝖤𝖱𝖤𝖣 𝖬𝖬𝖬𝖧𝖬𝖧𝖧𝖬𝖬; 𝖨 𝖧𝖮𝖯𝖤 𝖤𝖵𝖤𝖱𝖸𝖮𝖭𝖤 𝖤𝖭𝖩𝖮𝖸𝖲 𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖲 𝖳𝖮𝖮𝖮 <33333; 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋??; 𝗀𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝖺 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝖻𝗒 @joeys-piano!! 𝖳𝖧𝖠𝖭𝖪 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖲𝖮 𝖬𝖴𝖢𝖧 𝖧𝖲𝖨𝖣𝖩𝖩; 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗇 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖽𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖫𝖬𝖠𝖮𝖮𝖮 𝗆𝗒 𝗀𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗋𝗋𝗋 🤞🤞🤞

𝗐𝖼: 700+

the smell of pancakes and coffee wafts through the air as you cook breakfast. the morning sun hitting all the right spots in your home makes you feel relaxed and comforted—your unconscious humming being the proof of that. 

you fall into a state of peace and calm as you spoon pancake batter on the pan; its quiet sizzles distract you from all the stress you’ve been collecting from the past week.

and because of your good mood, the fluffiest and most perfect pancakes come out as you flip them; little dances being performed by you to celebrate your small achievement.

your serenity, however, is short-lived by loud and heavy footsteps rushing down the stairs.

“what the fuck is this?” a rough voice, laced with sleep, soon interrupts your quiet morning. 

so much for peace and quiet. 

sighing, you turn the stove off as you prepare to face the magenta-haired parasite you’ve been living with.

“oh me, oh my! looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of bed today. what’s got your lashes in a twist anyway?” you say as you turn around to face your one and only itoshi sae, who’s currently dressed in nothing but his boxers and a very noticeable scowl on his face. 

typical. 

“so? care to explain what this is?” his phone is suddenly shoved into your face in the midst of your daydreaming. you focus your eyes on the device, seeing an edit of a woman wearing sae’s jersey—arctic monkeys playing in the background.

hm? what’s this? another attention seeking who- wait. 

you bring your face closer to the phone, making sure what you’re seeing is true. 

holy shit is that me?!

“what the fuck…” you cover your mouth in disbelief. 

zoning in on the face in the edit, your suspicions are confirmed to be true, with the tags giving you that double confirmation you’re looking for.

“oh my god that is me…” slowly raising your head to look at your boyfriend, expecting him to still have that stupid scowl on his face, only to be met with a look of pure disgust and hints of jealousy on his face.

“oi! why the fuck are you lookin’ at me like that?” you say offended by just looking at his face.

“oh please!” his dramatic ass says as he removes the phone from your face. “just imagine having to see edits of your girlfriend on your fyp and people thirsting over her.” he says, closing and slamming his phone on the countertop. “even having the audacity to say shit like “oooo she’s so fuckin’ hot” or “the things i’d let her do to me” oh and even asking stupid questions like “can your boyfriend fight?” the man child says with a high-pitched mocking voice as he flails his arms around while rolling his eyes.

“like what the fuck. i mean, don’t get me wrong, hermosa. i know you’re hot as fuck but damn their comments are fuckin’ unnecessa-”

you cut his rant off by grabbing his cheeks and shutting him up with a kiss. you pull away moments after, laughing at his wide eyes and parted lips.

“don’t be so mad now, guapo. after all, it was your idea to invite me to the game.” you laugh, letting go of the man as you turn back to the stovetop. 

“oh and also,” looking back once more to face sae who’s now sporting a pout and furrowed eyebrows. “before acting all pissy, make sure to tone your voice down, yeah?” you snicker at his dumbfounded face. “could hear you giggling all the way down here.” his face flushes, possibly putting chigiri hyoma’s hair to shame.

wish i could’ve taken a picture of it. 

“shut up.” he says as he grabs his phone. “i’m breaking up with you.” grumbling, he proceeds to go back to your shared bedroom, stomping like a little child.

my dear sae. you’re so cute.

“yeah right. breakfast will be ready in a bit. also, you love me too much. pretty sure if you break up with me you’d waste your time re-watching my edits instead of playing soccer.” you say loudly, a teasing lilt to your voice. 

“shut up!” you hear your boyfriend shout from upstairs.

laughing at his antics, you shout an “i love you!” to him, only to be met with silence.

you shake your head, a smile growing on your face.  

and as you begin plating your food, you hear the same song faintly playing upstairs, and small, yet resounding giggles from your boyfriend.

he’s fuckin’ obsessed with me. 

you chuckle at the thought, going back to preparing breakfast with a big smile on your face.

category : 米哈游 原神 work title : he’s not lover approved by traveler/paimon

there is nothing lyney wouldn’t do for you. if he can, he will; if he doesn’t have the means, he will find a way — no matter if it means standing still as a deer in the forest in front of the traveler and paimon, who shot him with icy glares upon discovering your romantic relationship.

he stands at your front door, in his hand a small bouquet of flowers he purchased in the city; his heart beating madly in his chest. the moment was surreal, like a suspense novel.

questions swirled, each one more bewildering than the last. why were the traveler and paimon, individuals he weren’t exactly on the best terms with, standing by your doorway? where were you? and most importantly, how did you know one another?

he didn’t know you had a personal connection with the pair, let alone be a close friend whom they held in high regard. he feared they might reveal the truth about his fate and ask you to end things, two outcomes he hoped to avoid.

the unmistakable tension in the air pours through like a fog, making it difficult to breath. he, though, was determined to dull his unease in a strained yet cheerful sing-song manner.

“ta-da~!”

alas, his attempt at levity fell flat.

“eh? paimon didn’t know you knew each other!” she yelps, a blend of surprise and curiosity in her voice. the traveler, too, nods in agreement.

lyney, feeling like an uninvited visitor in his own lover’s cozy home, removes his hate and rests it on the standee that you had thoughtfully bought for his stay. with a sense of discomfort that he tried to bury, he takes a seat on your old armchair and crosses his legs.

a faint, near inaudible, sigh was his feeble attempt to soothe the racing thoughts within his head.

“i can say the same.” his nimble hand grazes the nape of his neck. “speaking of, where might she be? and, please, do not take offense, what lured you two into her humble abode?” his eyes dart between their scuffed attire, their fatigue state raising alarms. this cannot be good…

“uh, how does paimon explain this?” she trails, and shares a glance with the traveler.

the latter, taking the lead, starts to disclose how you’d been caught in a struggle on your journey to the city. fortunately, you held your ground, battling alongside the duo.

it didn’t mean you returned completely unscathed.

his concern heightened with every single word, and once he finally reached your bedside, he knelt down. his hand gently guides your gaze to meet his.

“why didn’t you tell me?” he espies the myriad of deep cuts and bruises that marred your delicate skin, the frown on his face deepens with every discovery. “why did you hide your injuries from me? do you wish to be the demise of your poor lyney? look, i’ve sprouted a forest of silver strands thanks to the harrowing distress you’ve inflicted upon me!”

as a joke, you roll your eyes at him, which elicits a theatrical and melodramatic whine of your nickname.

“i didn’t want you to worry about me.”

“but it’s my duty to worry about you?! and you’re well aware such secrets are forbidden from me, mon couer,” he scolds, rather mischievously, his finger tracing the outline of a particularly prominent bruise. it was clear that he genuinely couldn’t bear the idea of seeing you in pain.

he didn’t need to look to know the traveler and paimon were silently mocking him. you’re the very last person to say that, he can hear one of their voices answer.

the following hours unfold as a strange experience… the trio find themselves navigating the ‘intricacies’ of caring for you and your wounds, their interactions were a pleasant balance of teamwork and arguments.

it was a bit of an overstatement, you were merely sporting a couple of bruises and cuts here and there, far from laying at death’s door. at one point, they even engaged in — a passive aggressive — discourse about the meticulous art of wrapping bandages and the hours of your antibiotics intake.

“while i do appreciate your concern, traveler. i know what’s best for her.”

lyney, adopting a firm posture with arms crossed, ushered a resolute stare at the traveler. the atmosphere brimmed with an unspoken challenge as the latter counters, “it’s impressive how informed you are… i wasn’t aware the world of magic held such peril and risk.”

“what i’m trying to say is she needs a period to rest alone.”

“however,” traveler concedes, “she also needs the support of her friends. she doesn’t need to be isolated.”

he counters with a wave of his hand, punctuating his words,“i’m not advocating for such a thing! i’m only expressing my worry about overwhelming her.”

“if you’re both going to argue, do it outside.”

there was no longer space for disagreement, the severity of your expression conveys a message that leaves no room for uncertainty or lightheartedness in your tone.

one last glimpse of your resting silhouette and he returns to the comfort of your living room, on the settee, exasperated yet cautious. meddlesome eyes preying on him, the friction amongst them was obvious to see, beneath it lays a shared regard for you wellbeing.

“can paimon stay?”

quick question, can you positively say your friends and lover get along? the short answer, no; the long answer, not really, no.

ignorant, oblivious, and unaware… there exists a plethora of words to describe the profound state of confusion you felt regarding your friends’ steadfast reluctance to embrace the wanderer as your lover. their hesitancy remained an enigma, though, you can take a ganderw and guess it might be due to his crabby demeanor.

yet, when you allude to it, they refuse to utter a word.

although it did prove to be considerably simpler to gather a proper answer from paimon than traveler. she wasn’t shy, she expressed her thoughts about him. very freely. it began with her calling him short in both stature and temperament, and eventually led up to a blunt end, saying the problem lies in his attitude.

she was in complete denial, the notion you were in love with HIM, of all people, a sentiment underscored by her disbelief at the idea.

your warm presence rendered you a person whose kindness knew no bounds. in stark contrast, he was the epitome of a grump, a less than delightful company. if you were searching for a partner, she could’ve found a more ‘suitable’ match for you!

uh, maybe a compassionate and mellow personality, a man akin to kazuha, might be the perfect choice? she entertains the idea of opening it up to the traveler.

while privy on the subject, the traveler chose to stay hushed the entire time. despite their initial resolve to be neutral, you couldn’t help but notice the bitter expression that manifests when you utter his name.

it was clear to see something occured in the past…

however, your frequent line of questioning over the passing weeks eventually wore them down. after all, alongside paimon, you were a good friend of theirs! and it only seems fair to reveal their lingering apprehensions.

the fateful encounter with wanderer, a narrative that — you had to suspend your disbelief — went back to a time before his very existence had been erased by the use of irminsul and the assistance of lesser lord kusanali. as they wove this convoluted tale, you struggle to keep pace with the details, but your patience compelled you to still try.

“well, if it isn’t sumeru’s resident grouch!” paimon interjects your conversation by greeting him with a self-satisfied grin, thinking she just coined the most clever nickname since the inception of ‘tone-deaf bard.’

with a wry smirk, he chuckles, “i wasn’t aware they allowed pets inside the tavern.”

he was an absolute menace, you inwardly comment, stifling a giggle at her antics. her tantrum-like foot stomping in the air cemented your impression that they were far from being the best of friends.

“WHY YOU!” she shrieks, and he aptly interjects by sticking his tongue out at her. naturally, it only provokes her further. “paimon seriously doesn’t like you! c’mon, traveler. let’s find a table outside.”

the latter of whom sends you an apologetic glance, one that you reciprocate, before trailing after her.

not a second later, your dear wanderer eases in close to you. his knee brushes against yours — and if he sat any nearer, it would surely invite disapproving stares from the patrons at neighboring tables. he drapes his arm around your shoulder and leans his head next to yours.

it was rather audacious of him and out of place for the aura within the restaurant.

“was it necessary to tease her?” your amusement deepens now that paimon was out of earshot.

he shakes his head then lets out a short, mirthless laugh. “it was funny and there’s no hiding it, i know you were amused as well.”

“all lies!” playfully, you narrow your eyes at him. “i’m a good person and a good person like me does not take pleasure in other’s misfortunes.”

“then what are you doing with me?”

“hm, consider it an act of kindness.”

he was going to scoff at your retort when he met your gaze, a spark of affection and desire flickers. the blithe undertone gave way to a moment of intimacy. he leans closer, his eyes locked onto yours, and in that fleeting, heart-fluttering instant, it feels as if the entire world around you waned into obscurity.

“lucky me, then.” his lips, warm and inviting, met yours in a chaste yet rousing kiss, leaving you both breathless.

unbeknownst to either of you, paimon was on her way back witnessed the scene. the traveler asked her to tell you to go outside because the food they ordered arrived. however, seeing how happy the ‘good-for-nothing grump’ made you, her perspective shifts.

she returns to their table without a sound, deciding to give you two some privacy for a little bit longer.