k1ng0fn0b0dy

we are nobodies

ASK BOX OPEN FOR REQUESTS he/they pronouns, @thek1ngtalks alt, cross-posted on Wattpad.

97 posts

I'm Reblogging Cuz I Did Not Spend Forever Writing This For It To Get 40 Notes

I'm reblogging cuz i did not spend forever writing this for it to get 40 notes

Thanks to everyone who actually did read it ily all mwah (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

Wildest Wills 💜

[He/him pronouns]

[3600+ words]

Description: You and your sister Cairo are on your way to the Antartic Empire to stay with family. There is some trouble along the way. (Muffinteers x M!Reader)

[Read the rest under the cut]

{《☆》}

"Cairo," you call, throwing a stick into the slowly growing fire. "It's getting late, kid."

Your sister's tent remains closed though, quiet even when she'd usually be complaining loudly about spending another night in the woods. You stretched quietly, almost letting it go if not for something in your head nagging at you.

"Hey, kid? You asleep already?" You glanced back at the fire, where you should be keeping watch as she slept. Stepping over a log you pushed aside a flap of the tent. Xyr bedroll was empty, xry covers still neatly set up and practically untouched.

"Well, shit..."

{《☆》}

Wiggling xyr fingers awkwardly, she tried to pull xry hand out of the tight knots. Xry socks scrapped against the floor as she hung, they were undoubtedly ripped which she was slightly upset about, they were xyr favourite pair. Cairo knew with hindsight that leaving xyr brother behind was the worst decision she could've made.

Huffing, she stopped for a moment to breathe. It was so stupid. All she wanted was to have a little fun and maybe steal a few gold coins off of them and they kidnap xem. Xyr pouch was tucked into one of the backpacks in front of xyr, so they were the real thieves. There were at least 4 copper coins that they were taking and not to mention the ugly one pocketing xyr dagger!

She was so going to tell her brother one of them hit on xyr. They are so going to regret kidnapping xyr.

When she finally managed to pull xyr thumb out, one of xem kidnappers came out of the tent they had been talking in. She puffed xyrs chest out and glared, xyr heart beating as they walked over anyway.

"So, we've decided to kill you!" They clap their hands together enthusiastically, a wide grin on their face before they burst out laughing. "No, we're not. But you should've seen the look on your face! Hilarious. Anyway, we're going to keep you! Or Stevie'll keep you, she was adamant on not letting you die or selling you so this is the next best thing! You should thank her!"

"What?" She said, head spinning. They laughed again, less insane this time, and turned to leave. "Wait! What-? You can't-"

"We can, we are." They shrugged and ducked to get back in the tent. She glared at the offending green, gritting xyr teeth as it stayed upright.

Looking up, she stood as tall as she could and started yanking xyr hand out. Dirt got in xyr socks as she managed to get a free hand. Pulling at the rope with xyr hand was so much easier than xyrs earlier nonsensical wiggling and she pulled it out quickly. Glancing back at the tent, she riffled through the bags and pulled out both xyr pouch and a pretty pink pouch and started running.

She started off north, both pouches wound tightly closed and packed into xyr waistband. Cairo didn't even know if xyr brother was in that direction and ran with blind hope.

{《☆》}

You pressed your sword into the healer's neck, casting a critical eye around the campsite. The group of freelance mercenaries was beaten and forced on their knees. "Where is my sister?"

The tallest one laughed nervously, their eyes, violet eyes, darting around the camp and settling on a set of ropes before darting back to you quickly. They didn't have xyr then, but they had. The healer, who was crying pitifully, blurted out an answer. "We sold her."

"You're lying to me," you growled. "Now tell the actual truth or I'll chop your head off."

"I'm sorry." They gasped, breathless as they trembled. "She ran off. I don't know what way. Please don't kill me."

You dropped her to the ground and kicked her as a warning. They were useless to you now if she had already gotten out. If you were a stronger man, maybe you'd have killed them for it, but you weren't a killer yet and you didn't want them to be the first blood on your hands.

Wrapping your own rope around their wrists, you pulled them just a bit too tight. You may not kill them but they still took your sister.

Hands wound tightly around your necklace, you followed your sister's trail with swift feet. Xyr movements were jerky and panicked, wrapping around a tree twice before they ducked into a low hanging canopy and started straight forward for what seemed like miles.

Cairo was a fast little gremlin when she wanted to be and it showed by how far you had to walk. But slowly it seemed your compass was honing in xyr position as it swivelled a bit to the left.

Rushing forward, you walked into another campsite with your sword drawn. You could see your sister's back to you, arguing with a masked fellow. "My brother is going to come for me, I don't need your help."

"It could take hours for him to navigate these woods." They stressed, their hand nowhere near their sword at their hip which meant you could knock him out and take Cairo without a struggle. "How would he even know where..."

A sword was pointed at your back, making you straighten up and pivot forward as the unknown swordsman swung too slowly. Keeping the momentum you dashed towards your sister and came sword to sword with the masked man in a hideous lime green cloak. Their mask was more menacing face to face, porcelain that shone like glass with the tiniest cracks and you could see the briefest glance of his tan skin.

Cairo ducked out of the way, tucked close to you like a little baby bear to their mama. You dodged the dark-haired swordsman with a twirl, making sure to keep xem near you at all times. The masked man managed to get a lucky blow, cutting through your shirt right below where your compass hung around your neck.

Gritting your teeth, you managed to knock the dark-haired swordsman to their knees and before the masked one could stab you through your kidney you wrapped your arm around the weakened man's neck and pulled them between you two.

"Try anything and I kill him." You threatened. Cairo hesitantly stepped behind you, glancing between all of you. The other's face was impossible to read with a mask on, but their knuckles went white before they dropped their sword.

"Don't you dare." They hissed.

Narrowing your eyes at him, you took a quick glance back at Cairo. Unluckily for you, your captive grew a pair and elbowed you. Gasping, you kicked out wildly as you started falling backwards. Someone cursed and you took vindictive pleasure in causing them pain before Mask pointed their sword at your neck.

"Stop! Y/N-" Cairo stepped forward but you glared at xem. You glanced between xem and the forest and she obviously caught on. She didn't move though, still in the same place with the one you had previously held captive moving behind her.

Mask put their foot on your stomach and pressed a little too hard, making you gasp for breath. Glaring up at them, you let your grip on your sword go lax and waited.

"Don't ever threaten Sapnap again." His voice was venomous, still laboured with his effort to keep you down. They pressed down harder. "Or it'll be the last thing you do."

Baring your teeth, you heard something snap in the distance. Mask looked over quickly and you forced yourself to roll away. Mask stumbled heavily as 'Sapnap' stepped in front of your sister and towards you.

"Stop fighting them!" Cairo shrieked desperately, panicked as Dream picked himself up faster than you expected.

"I promised..." You gasped for breath. "That I would protect you. And I intend to keep the damn promise."

"They aren't hurting me! They helped me!" She yells. When you pause, Mask manages to knock you down again and this time he doesn't go lax. Sapnap looks back at xem and his brows furrow.

"Wait... is this the brother you were talking about?"

"Yes!"

Mask doesn't look away so you don't either. It's a particularly aggressive staring contest, but the fighting is more comfortable than the other stares people give you. Xyr huffs, moving past Sapnap and standing right by your side. "Dream, if you kick my brother again I will curse you."

'Dream' stared you down as he got off you, sword tightly held in his hands. You took a quick breath in and slowly got up, never taking your eyes off of him either. You weren't planning on losing this fight.

One of the voices in your head, the ones you usually try to suppress with varying success, pipes up with a teasing quip. "I really want those hands wrapped around my neck instead of his sword"

Grimacing, it still didn't break you.

"his hands but make it a necklace," another agreed.

"i want those thighs to... anyway"

"/rainbowchat"

"okay but that mask is kinda... ya knowww"

"bonk horny jail for all of you"

You couldn't help but look away. Your voices were making things take a very uncomfortable turn. Coming from the forest, two other men walked out and finally Dream looked away.

Cairo pressed close to you and instantly the voices went back to fussing over xem. You wrapped an arm around xem even though your arm was as sore as the rest of you. Goggles and Hoodie, as you dubbed them mentally, were glancing over at you a lot. Dream and Sapnap were probably telling them all about how you got your ass handed to you.

"Are you hurt?" You whisper asked. Cairo shook xyr head, wiggling xyr fingers in a so-so motion.

"Bad, the hoodie guy, gave me some balm for my feet and helped me wash off my rope burns." She whispered back and then gestured down to the new pair of sandals that were obviously too big for xyr feet. Then, in a meeker voice, she said, "I'm sorry for sneaking out."

You shake your head softly, adrenaline already draining. "Right now I'm just glad you're okay." Then, in the same voice your Dad used to speak with, you added. "We will be discussing your punishment later."

She pouted, already aware that she was losing xyr free-range privilege. Now you were going back to the days of kiddy leashes like when she was 8 and in an even worse rebellious phase. At least back than it was easier to pick xem up.

"Hello!" Hoodie, Bad technically but that was a weird name so you weren't calling him that, bounced over to you with a diplomatic smile. "So you're Cairo's brother?"

You nod slowly, you felt awkward standing there without your sword and virtually defenceless against four armed men. "I came here 'cause she was missing."

"Yeah, we found her looking for you after some people took her I suppose," Goggles added. You appreciated the fact that he didn't look you in the face, it was more than amusing especially since it happened so often.

With a mean grin, you said, "I already took care of them. They'll be hogtied in these woods until some bear comes and takes pity on them."

Cairo grins up at you, brushing xyr hair back and mimicking a crazy sign. "Those wackos were a special kind of crazy. Wouldn't be surprised if the bears ran from them."

Despite yourself, you chuckled at your sister's quips. Dream glanced over at you, like he was in disbelief you could perform the most menial task of laughing. The voices whispered in your head, their own, more flirty, or in some cases violent, quips.

You shrugged at him. Bad clapped his hands together, his face a bit off-put but understanding. "Well I know you two probably want to head back home and all but it is getting late. You two can stay here for the night if you want." Then he added on. "And since there are more of us it'd be safer too!"

You looked over at your sister. You didn't particularly like anyone there but Cairo was... well not in the best shape despite the act she put up. Xyr feet were still all bloody and probably a bit torn, xyr clothes in a mess of a state. She'd end up with hypothermia if she tried to go back at night, especially when it hits an all-time low.

"Yeah, I think we should." You finally say. Bad nods along with a pleasing smile, obviously already having your train of thought.

Goggles fixed his, well, goggles, pushing them up with a finger before taking them off altogether to put them back on. "Well, we should probably set up our extra tent then. If you can't tell, we weren't exactly planning to find a pair of homeless strangers in the wood."

"We aren't homeless," You instantly protest, despite the fact that it's technically true.

Goggles gives you an unimpressed look over and your voices instantly choose a new target to simp over until Dream grabs their attention again by scoffing. Although to be fair, in your slightly biased opinion, Goggles was better looking than Dream.

"Well, either way," They gesture to their camp. "We weren't prepared for visitors so we'll need a few minutes to find and set up your tent." He brushed some long pieces of hair behind his ear, giving a quick but pretty smile.

"That's fine. Thank you," You were mentally adding Goggles to the short list of people you'd let the voices simp over. After all, you did have a slight weakness for pretty boys and the voices would simp over just anyone if you didn't give them some fuel, case in point: Dream.

The masked individual was standing tense in front of you, his stare heavy. Dream's hands were tight on his sword, situating himself in front of Sapnap protectively. It was a silent threat to move away, daring you to fight him too, but he cared more about keeping you away from Sapnap than fighting. How soft of him.

Cairo tugged on your sleeve, reminding you of your own protective streak. Glancing up, you gave a hardly noticeable dip of your head and turned away with your sister still tucked in your side. Who knows if Dream reacted to your silent truce or if he even realized you understood his anger. It didn't matter to you though, you were already helping Goggles (who introduced himself as George) finish the tent.

{《☆》}

Cairo knocked out on xyrs rolled out sleeping bag, tucked in snugly because the voices were extra over-protective of xyr injured state. She was thoroughly exhausted, dozing off seconds after she laid down.

You brushed some of xyrs hair back, gently tracing xyr hairline and cheek bone. You remembered when your Mama used to do this to you, humming a song to you in her native language as she gently traced a line from your nose up to your forehead. When the song came to a close, you'd always be asleep without fail. Mama never got to do that for Cairo, but you could.

Unexpectedly, your tent opens and Hoodie peeks in. "Oh, hi! Sorry to barge in but, uh–, we wanted to have a little group discussion about..."

"Us."

Bad nods, his cheeks flushed with an odd off-white blush. "We'll be around the campfire waiting!"

You glance back at Cairo, hesitating briefly. Chat was vehemently protesting leaving her alone but... you trusted xem. She wouldn't do it again and she knew to run if these men turned out corrupt. Picking up your sword, you awkwardly half crawled half squatted out.

Dream, Sapnap, and George were talking lowly. Quiet enough for you to not hear, unluckily enough.

Chat, however, seems to hear them just fine.

"Ouchie"

"Wow can't believe Dream would insult us like that"

"Smh just like every other yt boy"

"Heart been broke so many times..."

Well, that issue was slightly settled. As you walked over to them, a bit miffed at being insulted behind your back and tired, Hoodie noticed you.

"Hey–" They hesitated.

"It's Y/N." Glancing over at Dream and George, who were both giving you neutral looks. Surprisingly Sapnap was the only one grinning.

"Right." Hoodie coughed, wearing an awkward smile. "Well, please sit. I'm sure we can all have a nice and civil discussion."

Dream coughed, muttering to Sapnap.

"I will literally nuke him"

"If he says 1 more thing about my boy I will just start crying"

"Why do we even crush on yt men anymore we're too good for them"

Again, rude much.

You sat down right next to Bad, who you now had slightly more respect for, across from the Trio themselves. Sapnap gave you a polite smile and George was still the pinnical of neutral but Dream... that man was staring daggers at you. You could feel it.

"So, why was I called here again?" You are very aware you haven't asked yet, but the sentence structuring is better so you're ignoring it. For plot.

Sapnap leaned forward, completely unconcerned by how close he was to the fire. "Well first off, Dream wants an apology."

That was rather blunt, you tilt your head to the side to stare Dream directly in the eye and then back at Sapnap. The voices argue over whether or not Sapnap's toothy, boyish grin makes him simpable or not. Again, at least he's not Dream.

"The masked yt boy failed us we're sapnap stans now"

"Sapnap arson pog?"

"Is he yt? He looks yt"

"arson pog"

"ik dream is yt and evil and all but those arms tho..."

Fine, you would be the better and bigger person. "That's fair. Dream, Sapnap, I apologize for being wrong."

"Not for attacking them?" George asked, a brow raised coolly.

"I'm not sorry for defending Cairo. I didn't know who you were, I didn't care what happened to you." It was easy to explain, however rude and blunt it might sound. Your sister, to you, was of the highest priority. Her safety was number 1 to anything else. If you went back in time with the knowledge you have now, maybe you would've tried a different approach. Without that knowledge, however, you'd do it again in a heartbeat. "I am sorry that I was wrong. Sapnap and Dream weren't harming her, so I apologized."

George gives you a slow look before shrugging. "Good enough."

"I accept the apology!" Sapnap chuckled good-naturedly. How he was so easy going was odd, but the voices cooed warmly so you let it go. "No permanent harm done, all is forgiven."

"I suppose I understand." Dream nodded, his voice short and clipped. It seemed your apology hadn't managed to thaw his entire, frozened neutral persona but at the very least it was a room temperature persona now.

"We'd all do anything for the ones we love," Bad agreed, an understanding in his voice. Chat liked him, you realized, and you respected him. An excellent combination not to be skewered. He was rounded off corners at the edge of a table, easy to brush off but able to thoroughly damage someone or a dull pencil point that you accidentally dig into your finger. Innocent at first, harmless at second glance, but truly he was a peaceful persona.

Accidents or anger, and the peacefulness would be a weapon. Peaceful does not mean harmless.

"Well, I'll be off. I've got to get some sleep before we head out tomorrow."

"Tommorow?" Bad crows back. He has a look on his face, well meaning and eager to take in strays, not wanting to let you go yet. Worried, in simplest terms. "I don't think Cairo will be fully healed by tomorrow. Especially not enough for a long walk."

"No, she won't. But I'm planning on carrying xem back to camp." You tilt your head back, glancing at the tent. Cairo should be in xyr bedroll, resting xyr feet. Hopefully. Logically, you knew she would. Emotionally you were anxious to get back to xem.

"You two are welcome to stay here until she's fully healed?" Bad leaned closer, a kind and helping hand. They shook their head a tiny bit, thinking to themselves. "I know the tent isn't the most comfortable but we could set up a better tent tomorrow?"

"Thank you, you are very kind," And it is a sweet thought. Your voices are cooing at the demon already. "But I'd rather be on the road sooner rather than later. Cairo and I are on a tight schedule."

"Where you heading?" Dream tilted his head, like a confused puppy.

"The Antarctic Empire. We have family there. I—," Briefly, you hesitate and glance back at Cairo's tent. "I think it'd do xem some good to be around family again."

Sapnap and Bad nod sympathetically, if not in slight pity. It's an irritating emotion but you've gotten used to it.

"We'll, we weren't planning on heading there but I'm sure a small detour is fine!" Bad glances over at the rest of his group. They shrug or nod and Bad grins. "It's not that far and we've been quite a few times before. We can help navigate around anywhere you might need."

"Anywhere," George says ominously, snickering with Sapnap.

"Maybe," Its all you can think to say. Your voices want to go with them, the load of simps. And logic says to stay away. Ultimately your decision would be left up to the ultimate tie breaker..

Cairo.

"I'm heading out for the night. Thanks again for the tent."

"No problem!" Bad waves you off.

The night is cool but not cold. The crickets are loud in a comfort white noise way. It's nice, the voices agree. Maybe, just maybe, a small part of you wants Cairo to agree.

{《☆》}

[Cairo's Pronouns: She/Herself/Xem/Xyr]

[Nope, this is my longest fic. Luckily this was written digitally and my hands are fine. I'm so bored rn might nap.]

[I am planning on connecting a few fics together for fun. This might be getting a part two with sbi as the main part. I do be liking my dreamteam relationship arc tho... that is what I was hinting at btw I just was in a dream Stan mood bcus of his song WHICH IS FIRE GO LISTEN]

[I don't have anything else to say so goodnight. OH WAIT, Karl post next fyi! Now I'm done.]

[L0v3, k1ng]

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