Laois Babe You Have A Problem. The Joy On His Face When He Finds Out He Can Eat The Suits Of Armory.

Laois babe you have a problem😭😭. The joy on his face when he finds out he can eat the suits of armory. Babe you need to see a therapist there is definitely something deeper going on here 😭😭

You are taking the consumption as a metaphor for love a little too seriously.

i swear to god if you weren't so adorable and literally the love of my life.😑

Super silly but I’m picturing a scenario where Shanks can’t really read all that well (raised by pirates etc) but he still figures out Mihawk’s little hobby and then becomes Determined to Get Better so he can keep up with the smut. Benn is like oh finally, you’re actually putting some effort into this, good, and then immediately regrets everything when shanks tries to persuade him to use Mihawk’s books for his reading lessons

No not silly at all! That’s not a headcannon I have but I can definitely see how it’s so popular Shanks doesn’t not look like he was the “education” type when he was young so I can defiently see him not knowing how to read.

And I am obsessed with the idea that his main motivation for learning how to read is so he can keep up with Mihawk’s smut publishing. I love it so much! Like he had no interest in learning how to properly read he could get on fine and Benn was always there but the moment he finds out that Mihawk is publishing smut? About them? He has to get on that’s hit immediately. That’s his new favorite hobby he is constantly buying books his crew is soooo confused.

Benn who has previously offered and encouraged Shanks yo learn is initially ecstatic but then he sees just what shanks is so excited about reading and god these fucking freaky dorks (Mihawk & Shanks) need to stop dragging him into their fucking foreplay. He is also very exasperated by just how much he features in these books and very wary of Shanks’ idea look he can see forming. (He’s not opposed to joining in but he also knows that those two weirdos have never been direct about emotions a day in their lives and so are going to go about enticing him in the weirdest most exhibitionist way possible.)

He does like to see how slightly jealous and turned on Shanks gets when Mihawk’s reader is fucking different pirates tho.

They embarrass him

Idk why I find the fact Mihawk writes Y/N Reader inserts so funny but so true and I have reader inserts blocked on here like I hate them but oh my god so in character for him.

And he does not give a shit. Absolutely go king and getting fantasy dicked down by all the hot guys in one piece world I support! Also him being a sengoku shipper iconic. I was say maybe he thinks about Kuzan but I think he’s out off by his general laziness and apathy and not in a fun apathetic way like Barsolino in a depression way. ( he’s looking in a mirror and does not like it.) but if he learns Dragon used to be a marine and friends with Akainu he’s making the most toxic relationship of them friends to enemies to nemesis type shit.

He’ll write a new book and it will be a sensation and no matter the fact he changed the names everyone with a brain cell will be able to figure out who it’s about.

Sorry this took so long to reply! but

YES YES YES!!! I don't really like self insert stuff either but it's so in-character for him I'm so obsessed.

And yeah it really is just the adventures of reader as they travel across the grand line getting dicked down is definitely one of his most beloved and acclaimed series. Shanks goes hot and cold on that series a lot because while the idea of watching mihawk getting dicked down by another man is very hot Shanks is also a jealous man and he is very jealous of these "fictional" men. He tries to find out if mihawk has ever fucked any of them in real life and maybe 👀.

Also yeah I just threw in the marine thing because I thought it was funny but I'm glad it stuck out! 😂. I don't think he self ships with any of the marines (maybe in his GILF era sengoku or fujitoro) I think because none of the really strong marines appeal to him but he would fuck smoker if he was stronger. and just because I remembered dude and I think it would be so funny imagine if his only self x marine ship is with Ryokugyu (the tree admiral) I think he'd hate him in life but he's not blind. I think this realllllly pisses shanks off because he does not like him and honestly its a bit of a snake eating his own tail because a lot of the reason he doesn't like him is because of Mihawk's fanfiction of him.

I think Mihawk's natural reaction (mostly because it's mine) is to ship Sengoku with Garp but he hates Garp and even the thought of picturing him in that way is enough to make him want to pour his ears to bleach his brain. I think it be funny if during one of his lackadaisical checking out marine headquarters rooms (because realistically who is going to stop him) he stumbles upon and old picture of Garp Sengoku and Tsuru when they were young and he is very intrigued by thetwo hot young men then he notices that one of them is Garp and he almost throws up, the thought wont leave him alone tho.

Also yes i don't think Mihawk actually knows dragon but he has definitely heard of him and being Garps son is enough cause for pettitness in his eyes. Dragon's identity is a little harder to parse out I the books but Akainu's is so fucking obvious. And it is a loved and well-cherished series. Anytime that Mihawk attends a warlord meeting or just genuinely has an unpleasant interaction with akainu (which is every interaction) he puts pen to paper. It'd be funny if this was the most "tame" series though more focused on the fictional romace which confuses dragon and pisses akainu off even more because what? do they think he can't take it? and mihawk is very pleased with himself. he drops a new edition right before he goes to any warlord meeting so he can watch akainu seethe in real time as the new talk of the town takes root (this series specifically is very popular in marine towns)

as for the real life identities. I think he definitely makes it a bit hard not to protect anyone. Still, because he thinks it's fun to make people guess and adds to the mystery so there is definitely a fan club (which Shanks leads) dedicated to putting the clues together on just who all the different men are (shanks needs this for....research purposes 👀) some of them are obvious if you're in the know like the Benn ones or Crocodile while others are just plain obvious because the Red Haired Emperor is definitely shanks like if you know shanks you know its him there is only two people with hair that red. It's not kidd( it does give both kidd and shanks a bit of a reputation of some islands because his book counterpart is infinitely more dashing and "masculine" that shanks' bum and kid's manica energies) and I think he makes the Akianu ones very obvious to anybody that literally even if you've just ever heard of him you know its him just to fuck with him.

I don't know Laios....Chilchuck

I kind of ship it.👀

this moment right here, when he looked at him like this. Signed sealed delivered, baby!

Sorry Senshi saying Chilchuk is still growing like what do you mean!!!!😭😭😭 he's thirty!

I can't blame you for falling for his youthful exuberance but babe that is a grown man 😭.

the casual throw away certain way in which he says it too is so funny like very