So This Is A Dumb One, But It Occurred To Me While Talking To A Friend Earlier And Now I Cant Stop Thinking

So this is a dumb one, but it occurred to me while talking to a friend earlier and now I can’t stop thinking about it. 

When I was first getting into books, I went through a trashy romance novel phase, where I once read a story framed around this one rich guy who had a ridiculous number of kids. Twelve, twenty, maybe more–I can’t remember. The people in the town where he lived were constantly joking about how ridiculously fertile he was, made all the worse because he was also evidently a man-whore. The poor guy could barely smile at a woman without a baby coming from it. In the story, it’s eventually revealed that he is not actually all that fertile or sexually experienced, but is actually just a huge softie, and all the poorer families in town understood they could leave babies on his doorstep and he would raise them as his own, no questions asked. 

There’s a part of me that kind of wants to see the first part of this concept somehow applied to a human AU, with Chuck actually being that fertile and just having an ongoing stream of kids coming into his house. With Chuck still being the worst dad. He’s constantly in the background, calling up condom companies to complain about their products never working, and arranging paternity tests that he doesn’t tell the kids in question are paternity tests–like, he’ll pick up a toddler-aged Zachariah and play a few half-assed peek-a-boo games with him, then abruptly stick a cotton swab in the kid’s mouth for a DNA sample, hand him off to a sixteen-year-old Michael, and say he’s got to go. Has to stop by the post office on the way to his tinder date. Don’t wait up. 

And Michael’s just like, “This is perfectly normal." 

Later when Chuck comes home, Michael will still be awake, humming to himself while heating up a bottle in the kitchen. He’ll greet Chuck with, “Welcome home, father! I hope you had a great night. Someone dropped off twins. We’ve named them Anna and Hannah." 

Any time an outsider asks if someone is adopted, Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, and Gabriel all say no in unison and look at the person in question as if they’ve just asked the rudest question imaginable.

Adam and Michael are assigned to work together for a school project. At first they try working together in the library during lunch, but Adam points out that they’re not getting the work done fast enough in that limited amount of time. Which is true, but Adam also has a crush on Michael and wants to get to know him better. They wind up going to Michael’s house, because Michael needs to help Lucifer, Raphael, and Gabriel take care of the children. Adam is not put off by this, but then it comes out that Michael’s afraid to engage in any kind of amorous behavior because Chuck’s always grumbling under his breath about how he can barely even says hello to someone without making a baby, and he’s never actually sat any of his children down to have The Talk. 

Michael’s lack of knowledge comes out one day when Adam and Michael share a scandalous moment–HOLDING HANDS. 

"Wait, are you saying…Michael, we can’t make a baby no matter what we do.”

“Why not? Contraceptives are a scam.”

Adam takes a moment to just digest that answer. Due to his own family situation, Adam himself learned about the birds and the bees by way of daytime television, whereas the TV in the Shurley house is kept in a perpetual loop of Disney movies and Blue’s Clues reruns. And he’s met Chuck. He reasons to himself that it’s not that crazy for Michael to be the age that he is and still be that in the dark.

“Michael–where do you think babies come from?”

“The front door.”

Lucifer, who is also in the room, adds, “Sometimes the back door.”

Adam tries his best to keep a straight face, but winds up snort-laughing as Gabriel, who is much more worldly than either of his brothers, calls from the hallway, where he’s running back and forth while dragging a blanket loaded up with younger siblings along for the ride, “I ASSURE YOU THEY DO NOT!”

It has been such a long time since I’ve done one of these. I planned to do every Monday but I keep forgetting to compile songs and who they remind me off while listening so I always come up blank on Mondays. And also I’m a huge procrastinator 🤷🏿‍♀️ (but details) so im going to try and do like three of these in addition to the one I’ll do on Monday. So here goes I guess.

And now ladies and gentlemen;

SONG OF CHOICE ( God I need a better name)

*may contain spoilers for the great pretender season 2*

Fandom; The Great Pretender

Ship; Edumara x Laurent and Laurent x Dorothy (past)

Song; Deja Vu by Olivia Rodrigo

Reason; it actually took a few listens to get why this song kept bringing me back to the great pretender specifically; Laurent, Makoto and Dorothy. But then it hit me; Laurent is objectively trying to embody Dorothy (like he makes less bouncy but in his own way he’s trying to be her and be what she was to him to Makoto) and that is exactly what the song is about (albeit more in a romantic and jealous? sense) if Dorothy were to song it I think it be more teasing (like making fun of Laurent for trying to be her). And honestly I don’t think the real Dorothy would care enough to be jealous (I mean she did t seem that invested in their relationship, at least not the way Laurent was, and she’s a natural lone wolf and plus she doesn’t seem the type to be if I can’t have you no one can) but like the hallucinations of Dorothy that seems to follow Laurent around would definitely song this song , because it’s Laurent (through a projection of Dorothy) mocking himself for this character he created that is basically just Dorothy. The song is sang from the perspective of a girlfriend that showed her boyfriend all these cute amazing things and Introduced him to all these things that he then shows to his new girlfriend. And that is what Laurent is doing ( albeit in a more traumatizing way ) but I’m sure there were some more lighthearted places or things that he showed Makoto that Dorothy showed to him. Like the line from the song “That was our place I found it first, I made the jokes you tell to her” I’m sure there were some jokes that he did that Dorothy did in-fact tell him; Laurent adopted Dorothy’s persona (or what he felt that to be) and made it his mask and in his grief he turned them up to eleven and that’s how you have a Laurent that never takes anything seriously and never tells Makoto the full plans even when he is objectively traumatizing him. (I think it was implied that sometimes Dorothy would leave out details of the plan to Laurent but never anything that would actively traumatize him and it was never out of a get a sincere reaction m, after that first time, but like a you don’t need to concern yourself with that). So yeah Deja vu has strong Makoto, Dorothy and Laurent vibes. But less jealous and more mocking. It’s a really good song if you haven’t definitely give it a listen

gabriel is beams of sunlight between other objects; bright, beautiful, and bold. he is the morning sunrise, a toast to new beginning.

That was quite unconventional, as far as endings go. Much more like the beginning to a new adventure than anything else. 

requested by @justoceanmyth for her fic nightmares and strange-dreams

on love and monsters

caitlyn siehl - start here // the umbrella academy 2020 // rainbow rowell - carry on // omar rayyan 2015 // crimson peak 2015 // mary shelley // kristen cashore - graceling // beauty and the beast 2017 // topaz winters - 'it was something monstrous, this want for you'

You can bet that Barbara never let up on teenaged Jason Todd.

“A cigarette? Ooooh edgy.”

-

“Outta the way, everyone, baby James Dean coming through”

-

“A leather jacket? In July? No no I get it, can’t let them think you’re not committed.”

-

“Whoa! Sorry, I wasn’t sure if Grease Lightning was going to pop out from behind you”

-

“It’s ok Jason, everyone knows that you’re the only real My Chemical Romance fan in the family.”