Hey, I Am Currently Experiencing 3am Random Thoughts So Im Going To Dump On Wir Them Here.

Hey, i am currently experiencing 3am random thoughts so I’m going to dump on wir them here.

This does discuss some topics involving smoking, a mentioned surgery, an overworked mother and fear. If there is any other things in here that is triggering to any one please message me and let me know other than that please read if you are able to thank you and stay safe.

With the my current at home life things are a bit strange. My Dad ,with his recent leg surgery and not being able to come home for weeks, is currently staying up a my grandparents due to their home being more… spacious, i guess. That’s not important though but something that is import, especially context wise to the thought/ ideas I’ve had, is that my mom is the only on who works but she doesn’t only work a lot she is going through nursing school. So my point is my momma is a very tired women which goes with out saying she struggles to get any sleep so she sometimes struggles to get up when she does get some but my though come from this one night i had to wake her and it was a moment of my life i don’t think I can forget.

It was a Wednesday night, i had just got back with my grandmother from church. It was about thirty mins before my mom need to be awake so I just went out back and smoked a bit with my dad and grandmother. It wasn’t until about five or seven minutes before she needed be awake when dad said something about needing to wake her and I was like, “ Don’t worry about I’ll take care of it after I go in get me something to drink,” I still relatively a new smoker as in it still bothers my throat and lungs sometimes not important though. After getting my drink and maybe a snack i sat it done where I was sitting the living room and went to wake up mom.

From the time I have spent on the internet no one really talks about how terrifying it is to wake up your parents even at an older age. It make you feel like your doing something wrong and that’s how felt as slow approached her. At the time the only thing I remember feeling and seeing is fear. And it wasn’t like i fear for my life, it was more of a “ i don’t know what’s happening, i don’t want to fuck up i don’t know what I’m doing “ kind of fear. Due to that unknown and that fear I kinda hesitated before I even touched her or said anything. But I eventually just said whatever and woke her up. I went en gentle and just said quiet but loud enough she understood, “ hey its about a 8:30”.. cause that’s when she usually got up but um even with how gentle I was I still scared her. She jumped back real hard which not only scared her but scared me. And I think the thing that got me and what makes this a memory that will stick to me is that… fear in her eyes as she looked at me. Seeing the kinda fear in her eyes that I saw… i got to admit it hurt like hell. I never would have though that wake my own mother would led me to experience something I never want it experience again.

But that is just along winded telling of the idea I had after this experience i guess. It had me think of what remains of Edith finch, A glorious game with a fantastic but intriguing story. I want take different story’s of my childhood and my siblings and cousins, aunt, uncles etc. and turn them into a game similar to that game. Do you know what i mean, like take the way the story of Edith finch and how it was told but turn it into one about my family, u know?

Idk this just one long rant/ talk about a potential game i could work on i guess. Idk. If anyone sees this and has any thoughts of their own they would like to add just reblog with them or send them in to me anyway you can I guess. Idk i just wanted this off my mind and in a write form.

HELP

Hello, so i had a hard time deciding on posting this or not in here but seeing some of you still like my work i ended deciding to do it.

I have been on hiatus thx to work and college. Saddly my workplace closed recently and we wont get any compensation from it. Of course this affected my mental health and ended affected my work at college.

So now im in problems with the rent and college. I seriously would not post in here something like this but im desesperated since no work has call me back from the ones i have presented myself.

So, if you could help out just anything here in buy me a coffe i would be really greatful. Reblogs would be amazing too but im not that active in the community so i dont really expect much.

Still, thx a lot 4 sticking with me!! I plan on coming back and write. Life has been just making me sad lately.

the fnaf movie was silly

Let me out

Stared working on Locwitary with a full document that will contain ever lore piece and explanations for those pieces. I am also going into the detail of how the dream realms of this story work and how they are used to trap and create dimensional jails almost. I am having fun finally getting back into the creative spirit!!

That’s all I had to say have a good day and see you around!!!!

chúc mừng năm mới ! hope this lunar new year is one full of good luck and good health for everyone !!

( i wanted to have a bit of fun with patterns with this one - the designs are inspired by encaustic tiles i've seen around vietnam, with a bit of tết flavour :D )