Expectation: Get Home And Draw

expectation: get home and draw

reality: scroll through the arcane tag and not draw

thats my dad

Ok, but why haven't I seen anybody talking abt Viktor twirling his hair while trying to figure out how the Hexcore works??

I think that in the cannery Silco is the whole time really confused and frustrated with Vander’s behavior. Vander changed to the point Silco could trust him again and Vander wouldn’t repeat what he did (I think part of why Vander is so pacifist is cos of what he did to Silco) but Silco can’t accept that. He remembers Vander as someone who nearly killed him and he lived with this for years, and wanted to reunite anyway and now he wants to have to deal with the same man he accepted Vander was and also still respected despite everything. This new Vander is not smth Silco can work with. I think confronting this new Vander is uncomfortable to him cos it nearly forces him to see the situation for what it was and not how he viewed it through his trauma.

We don’t know the details of the betrayal but it seems Silco thought he deserved it, or more likely accepted that this is who his brother truly was the whole time. This is part of what led him to his ‘there’s a monster inside all of us’ ideology. So to see Vander again only for him to behave like he should have back then. Showing qualities that he didn’t show toward Silco back then. Basically ‘Silco idealizes/looks up to Vander’>’Vander betrays him and Silco goes on to accept that Vander showed his true self that was always there’>’Silco sees Vander again prepared to deal with his monster-brother only to see that Vander isn’t that monster anymore’.

That’s why he goes ‘I knew you still had it in you’, seeing Vander like this brought him satisfaction and relief. I think it must have been on some level painful for Silco that Vander seemingly genuinely became a kind, gentle, ‘would not turn my violence against my family/the weak’ kinda guy, but not for him. That’s why it was easier to forgive Vander for trying to kill him and accept that’s who Vander is, if he joined him, rather than face the ugly truth that his closest and most trusted loved one committed a horrible act of violence on him and process his hurt and continued love for Vander without resorting to resigning himself to believing this is just how life works.

All that obviously influenced what kind of person Silco allowed himself to become but also likely informed his relationship with Jinx. He is ready to accept her no matter what atrocities she commits, including torturing and kidnapping him (and patricide), and she never needs to apologize for anything. Repeating the attitude he showed toward Vander, where he was physically violated by him but didn’t expect or require an apology or anything from Vander and was willing to let it slide even tho his brother was willing to commit a fratricide.

There’s also the parallel between how Jinx was willing to reunite with Vi despite Vi messing things up constantly (the last thing she did was walk away from Jinx on the bridge but despite that Jinx talks first to her during the dinner and offers her the first choice) however also putting Vi in front of an impossible choice for all the hurt that Vi caused her that’s supposed to convince Jinx of Vi’s love and loyalty to her through this big act/sacrifice (killing Cait and choosing Jinx)-

And how Silco freely forgave Vander however put him in front of an impossible choice for all the hurt Vander did to him that was supposed to convince Silco of his love and loyalty to him through this big act/sacrifice (abandoning pacifism and choosing Silco).

Silco told him he’d show him who he really was and he does achieve that before Vander dies. This seems to bring Silco some peace of mind despite how just a second ago he relived his trauma. This truly was who Vander was on the inside after all. If pushed far enough we are all monsters on the inside and there’s nothing that can be done about it. What happened to Silco was just the way the world works. The violence was an intrinsic part of Vander and therefore unavoidable and also not really anyone’s fault.

Yet he is wrong. Vander’s rage and abandoning of his pacifist ways and hurting his brother again was a result of losing Claggor and Mylo and an attempt to save Vi. Something Silco misunderstood in the moment and wouldn’t be able to understand for years to come. However ultimately Silco also gives up his dream of Zaun and loses his cool/rages at the possibility of losing Jinx. Not because he didn’t truly want independent Zaun or he wasn’t really a collected and cruel crime lord but cos he’s got his priorities.

Yes, all your morals/mentality/goals do go out the window if your child is threatened, actually, and it doesn’t reflect much on the parent outside of showing that they’re a devoted parent. This kind of attitude of a parent toward their child is just unique like this.

It all makes sense now. 

Definitely Not Yato's Smartphone 🌟

Chapter 39: Until Now and From Now On

コレマデとコレカラ

will the scary buff lady please pick me up