Neahhahahahaahahhahahaha

neahhahahahaahahhahahaha

hehehe

reblog if you think not liking physical touch is "valid" and if someone tell you they don't like being touched you will stop immediately and not tell them a hug isn't gonna kill them and then disrespect their boundaries

she does it solo, the other characters are like way years into the future and they're warlocks using the solver

AU where Uzi kills the Solver but due to the laws of the universe or something I guess she becomes God in its place and also a centipede

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem

1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"

2. hitting the baby will still win you the game

bro you're seizing the day too much you're gonna give yourself carpal diem