Okay, I Had To Look This Up, Because I Keep Getting Ads For Whatever Reason...Dr. Squatch Was Started

Okay, I had to look this up, because I keep getting ads for whatever reason...Dr. Squatch was started in 2013(yeah, the soap company for men).

Somewhere in the middle of water on the Stan 'O War II:

Ford, screaming from the bathroom: STANLEY!

Stan, running in a panic: Ford, what the hell is wrong?! You didn't fall did you???

F, wrapped in a towel, holding a bar of soap, agitated: Why would you bring this onto the boat?

S, confused: Sixer, what the hell are you talking about? You sure you didn't hit your h---

F: He's calling himself Dr. Squatch, and trying to use his notoriety to sell men's soaps? This giant Houdini of an asshole tried to burn the house down in 1981, all because I spotted him in the woods! Is this a sick joke, Stanley?

S, rubbing his temples with his eyes closed: Ford, that isn't Sasquatch. It's just a soap company with a goofy mascot meant to look like him. It ain't him.

F: Stanley, I would recognize this face anywhere. He came up with the greatest business plan possible... He's hiding in plain sight, and no one knows! Where did you get this?

S: Walmart, Ford. Walmart. The real Sasquatch isn't selling men's soaps at Walmart.

F: Says you. Forget going to find mermaids....I'm going to find Sasquatch...Again!

S: 😑 At least put some pants on. I'm sure "Dr. Squatch" doesn't want to see his old nemesis, smelling like oak and bourbon, soaking wet, with no pants. (Walks out, shaking his head)

F, looks at the bar of soap: Soon, Squatch....Soon.

soooo... i just got a new phone, and it has an interesting keyboard feature. whenever i type an emoji, it will suggest emoji splices. theyre literally just images so i decided to share with you all some of my favorites so far 💕

today in "google AI is fucking useless because it hallucinates things that never happened", i bought a couple CVS thermometers that have both been acting up, tried to search if there had been a problem with the whole product line:

there is no record of this product recall. it did not happen. the date "feb 8 2024" is the date someone listed a thermometer for sale on ebay.

Pigeon attempts to court falcon

People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame.

An ant doesn’t start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness.

Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does.

It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then…

It’s an ant again.

Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters.

This is madness.