MY LIFE IS HERE

❝ MY LIFE IS HERE❞

[ kento nanami x f!reader ]

✧ summary: wanting to celebrate his promotion, kento has the evening planned. sadly it does not go according to plan ✧ cw: baker!reader, angst, arguing, miscommunication, talk of starting a family, comfort, age gap (reader early/mid 20s, nanami early/mid 30s), established relationship, no use of y/n ✧ word count: 4.0k

Yet another day over — thank lord.

Having taken a double shift at the bakery, one could say you were exhausted. You’d grumpily rolled out of the bed at five in the morning, and even then you’d gotten up a little too late. Luckily you’d made it down to work in time, and then done all you had to do until you finally clocked out just past seven p.m.

Slumping up the stairs to the apartment, you felt your feet throb, desperate to finally be able to have a seat that lasted more than ten seconds. And for once, you weren't the one coming home to an empty apartment, like most nights. You could already picture it, being able to melt into your boyfriend’s arms on the couch from the second you set foot in the door, and just relax in front of the tv for the remainder of the evening.

You opened the front door, and called out for him. “Babe?”

“In here,” he shouted back from the dining room as you kicked off your shoes.

Lazily shuffling down the hallway, you spoke again. “Brought home bagels from work today. Thought we could have breakfast together tomorrow before you head to work- what’s all this?” You interrupted yourself in sheer disbelief when you entered the dining room, met with a romantic scene.

The lights were dimmed, and instead there were atmospheric candles lit in every corner of the room to set the mood. The table was set with two beautifully garnished plates that smelled delicious, a bottle of red wine accompanying it all.

Then your eyes traveled to Kento again, greeting you with a warm smile and a huge bouquet of red roses resting in his arms. “Hello, beautiful.”

Inching closer to him, your body instantly relaxed when you let your arms wrap around his strong torso and feeling one of his arms tenderly grab your waist in return. Humming in satisfaction into the affection he gave you in the form of a passionate kiss. “You’re literally perfect,” you spoke softly, lifting yourself on your toes to brush your nose against his.

“Well, I think perfect is taking it-“

“Shhhh,” you shushed him, lips connecting once more to stop him from arguing your compliment. Without a doubt, you knew you could probably stay in his arms forever, but you eventually removed yourself from his embrace to accept the flowers. “Gosh, Kento, these are beautiful!”

“Glad you like them,” he smiled, never letting his eyes leave you as you went to the kitchen to put the bouquet in a vase.

When you returned to him, you were once again filled with an urge to just feel him against you. With a desperate need, you clung onto him again, kissing his lips once more as if it was the only way for you to survive. Butterflies ignited inside your stomach, going absolutely rampant when his strong hand gently pressed against your lower back to help deepen the kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Like the gentleman he was, Kento went on to pull out the chair for you. You eyed the table, the beautiful sight of his date night making you forget all the stress that had built up inside you during the day.

“So, are you going to tell me the occasion?” You asked sweetly as you tucked the napkin in your lap as he took his own seat.

“We’re celebrating!”

You narrow your eyebrows in confusion, a slightly amused smirk dancing in your lips in anticipation. “Celebrating?”

Propping your elbow on the table, resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you simply admired him as he poured wine in your glass.

He so rarely he let himself relax like he did now, with his tie hanging loosely around his neck, top two buttons of his shirt undone and sleeves rolled up. His blonde hair wasn’t as neatly styled anymore, slightly ruffled by having his fingers gently run through them.

In moments like this, you found him the most beautiful — the real Kento that only every made himself known to you. Everyone else saw the prepped and striking Mr. Nanami who worked every hour of the day, but you knew better. But it hurt you that it was a side of him you didn’t have the privilege of witnessing all that often.

When it came to work, you were both just as dedicated. It was the first thing you’d connected on. And despite long and exhausting days for the both of you, you quickly fell into a rhythm that just worked for you. Never having to compromise your ambitions, but also always finding time for each other.

However, you always seemed to find it easier to relax once you weren’t physically at work anymore. He was a different case, seemingly letting his work affect his mental long after he left the office. More often than not you saw his feature’s tarnished with tiredness, and you always tried desperately to ease the tension you noticed, whether that was softening that crease between his pinched eyebrows, or rub his high shoulders.

But tonight was different. He seemed content for once, ready to just enjoy the evening. His muscles were relaxed and there was just the tiniest smile constantly resting at the corner of his lips.

“So are you going to tell me what we’re celebrating?”

He licked his lips, looking almost excited. If seeing him at peace was rare, seeing him excited was unheard of. “You remember when I told you that the company have been relocating positions?” You simply nodded as you started to eat. “You see, in the process there has been a few new ones as well.” You stopped chewing for a second, squinting your eyes at him, curious where this was headed.

“Are you telling me…?” You trailed off after having swallowed, his head nodding slowly as you spoke.

“They offered me a promotion. And a damn good one at that!”

“Kento!” You exclaimed in pure joy, not waiting to get out of your seat. You grabbed his wrist to pull him up as well, arms tangling tightly around his neck once he was stood. “That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!” Your hands loosened around his neck to cup his face, kissing him once again.

“Thank you!” He breathed, hands sliding down to land on your waist. “They’re setting us up with all sorts of benefits. Insurance, transport, apartment.”

A tiny giggle slipped out of you when the last word left his mouth. “Apartment? What’s wrong with this one?” You asked humorously, tilting your head.

“Nothing, honey, but the position is in Kyoto.”

You couldn’t control how your limbs instantly retracted from around his neck to wrap around yourself, the excitement evaporating in an instant, face falling into an expression of confusion.

“Kyoto?”

The crease between his eyebrows were back at the sight of your closed off demeanour, hands falling from your waist to settle in his hips. “I thought I told you.” A nervous chuckle followed.

“You’ve never once mentioned Kyoto,” you said defensively. “Have you accepted the offer?” A lump formed in your throat, your heart picking up its pace.

“No, not yet,” your heart didn’t dare settle, knowing his sentence wasn’t over. “But I don’t see why I shouldn’t.”

Your eyebrows instantly raised in disbelief and you shyly took one step back. “And where do I fit into this?”

“I assumed you’d come with me.” A small scoff escaped you.

“I can’t just move to Kyoto,” you said somewhat patronising, astonished he’d even come to that conclusion without talking to you first.

The sigh he breathed had a hint of frustration to it as his head fell forward. “Of course you can.” You were taken aback by the alien hostile assertiveness in his voice. When he tilted his head back up, he gave you a stern look through his eyebrows.

The once cozy and comfortable atmosphere had quickly slipped out of the apartment, a suffocating stress now filling the space instead. It surprised you how quickly the mood had shifted into something unpleasant, only sensing this would not settle quickly.

“But the bakery-“

“They have bakeries in Kyoto as well.”

“Well, they have office jobs in Tokyo!” You fired back, even though your voice remained low.

Kento had always been a gentleman. Beyond what anyone could ever deserve, stepping up to the plate at all the right times. There was so much about him you looked up to and respected. As mentioned, his work ethic was one of those things — but it was probably also his one and only flaw.

It wasn’t something that happened regularly, but sometimes his work did manage to get the best of him. It usually happened on the days he was the most drained, where he suddenly let his work overshadow what actually mattered.

“Honey, this is a huge opportunity for me!” His hand lifted to give the bridge of his nose a slight pinch.

“No, I get that, but I don’t know what you expected?” Your shoulder raise slightly to emphasise your somewhat hypothetical question, still keeping your tone low and steady. “I like my job, here! I like our home, here!”

“We can have all those things in Kyoto!” His arm flew up, gesturing out in the air, his frustration seeping through in his motions though you saw on his expressions he was trying to keep it together.

“Babe, you’re not hearing me. I don’t want those things in Kyoto! I want them here, in Tokyo!” You articulated clearly, feeling as though your point wasn’t reaching him. As if he’d already pictured everything working out in his favour, and that was final.

You saw how his shoulders and chest raised slowly as he took a deep breath before he spoke again. “With this opportunity, I’ve realised I think my time in Tokyo is over! I’ve done what I needed to do here, and it’s time for me to venture on.”

“That’s great!” It was a genuine statement, but it seemed like you both heard the twinge of resentment in your voice. “But I’m not! You’ve had years to explore Tokyo, and I feel like I only just got here.”

Whatever happened, you knew you didn’t want to raise your voice or snap at him — that wasn’t your relationship. You didn’t really fight or argue. To the best of your ability, you both always tried to discuss whatever issues might come your way in a reasonable manner. But somehow, you feared this might be what changed that pattern for you.

So in order to remain calm, at least for now, you slowly began to pace around the room.

“It seems like you won’t even consider it.”

“Ken, my life is here!” Every word came out clearer than the previous, staring him dead in the eye as your feet continued to carry you back and forth.

“But it can be in Kyoto!” He was the one to raise his voice slightly first, having you blink at him a few times, causing you to stop.

“But tell me why? Why you’ve basically decided this without talking to me?”

“Because this is the best option for us! Everything is being handed to us, it would be ridiculous to turn it down!” Your feet were now planted firmly in its position as he dared take a step closer, but not appearing intimidating in any way. Only assertive.

“So because it’s just given to us, I have to give up my life here in Tokyo just like that?”

“What is it here for you?”

Only stuttered sounds made its way passed your lips, in utter shock at the disrespectful question. Never had he talked to you like this, and never had you ever imagined he could talk to you like this.

“What is it here for me?” You repeated, and a slight twitch in his eye as a result of your venomous tone, exposed how he himself knew he had messed up.

And with the realisation, you saw him reach within himself to regain his control and posture, already shaming himself for his hasty resonance. The slight redness that had flushed his cheeks melted away, the crease on his forehead softening, but not enough to disappear completely.

“That’s not-“

“What? That’s not what you meant? But you said it, which means it must have crossed your mind at one point or another.”

It didn’t matter — the damage was already done. He saw it by the emotion swimming in your eyes. He’d done the one thing you’d expected him not to do — the one thing that you’d specifically told him about from past relationships you would not tolerate again and that was the disrespect.

Of course you had hesitated a little when going into something serious with Kento, considering he was a quite a few years your senior. But you’d eventually come to the conclusion it could only be a good thing; he would be more mature than your exes, treating you with the respect you deserved.

Yet here he was — his mouth moving faster than his head, slipping up just as easily as the boys ten years younger than him, that you’d swore you’d never entertain again.

“Listen to me.” He was entirely calm, only compassion and sympathy in his voice now — not a trace of his tiny comment anywhere. “I’d be doing this for us. What they’re offering me is enough for me to take care of the two of us-“ cutting himself off, you saw a modest shiver run through his body, telling you what would come out of his mouth next was something even he was scared to say. “And maybe even if we eventually want to start a family. We could make Kyoto that place for us — and this opportunity will make it easy for us.”

You reactively held your breath at his confession.

“I- that’s- Uhm okay,” you said uneasily, the weight of his eyes snapping you out of your standstill figure, going back to an anxious pacing. But now you were too scared to even think of looking at him.

When you could hear his soothing, baritone voice speak your name, you found yourself grounding a little — at least enough to find your voice again.

“Listen,” you surprised yourself by the sternness in your speech, though you still found yourself unable to meet his gaze. “As dedicated to our careers as we are, the reason we’ve gotten as far as we have is because we’ve never expected the other to compromise what so ever.”

“I didn’t-“

“No, you let me finish!” You demanded, finding the courage to look up at him again as your finger came flying up to stop him from talking. His mouth clapped shut, arms tucking behind his back to prepare himself to listen intently.

“What you’re asking of me- correct that, what you’re assuming of me, is unacceptable.”

“But think about it!” He stepped over, grabbing both your hands to pull them to his chest. “Our life would be set.”

“And I’m saying no, Kento!”

You felt his heart skip a sad beat against your hands that he had pressed against his chest before he slowly let go, letting them fall back in front of you.

The heavy breaths from the both of you filled the room, chests rising and falling with crippling tension as the fear filled both your bodies. Neither of you knew what to say next, simply uncomfortable in each other’s presence for the first time during your relationship.

“Honey, please just-“ he breaks the silence, the tiniest crack in his voice audible.

“You know what? I can’t do this, not tonight,” you sighed, your hands coming up to cover your face before hurriedly running through your hair. The exhaustion that had seized to exist, and lurked its way back after the sudden change of events and you just knew you didn’t have it in you for now.

Shaking out of your distraught posture, you went to grab your bag. “Wait, what are you doing?” His stress overfilled him, spilling over in the way he talked to you. In quick movements, you grabbed your essentials and hurried out into the hall. “You’re not leaving!”

“I need some time to think!” Finally you snapped, your voice coming out in a mixture of a weak sob and a shout. “You’ve come up with this life altering plan without consulting with me, and I need to reflect on that, do you understand?” On a surface level aspect, he only heard anger — but he saw right through it, knowing it was a plea more than anything. Yet, it didn’t feel right to just let you walk out in the middle of this.

“But we have too much to discuss.”

“I’ve been on my feet for fifteen hours today-“ you said, voice strained as your head fell back once the tears began to form in the corner of your eyes. “When I say I can’t do this tonight, it’s because I don’t have it in me, physically or mentally.” Hands on your hips, you exhaled a shaky breath. “I need some time alone, okay?”

It came out barely louder than a whisper, his heart breaking when your gaze met his again and your eyes were glistening with sadness, absolutely drained from your day at work and the events of the evening.

Just as he was about to reach out and pull you into his arms, you moved away, hand on the door and opening it.

“We’ll talk later.” No reassuring question in your words, no confirmation it was going to work out, no energy left to withhold the conversation. Walking out and leaving him alone in the apartment.

48 hours.

It had been 48 hours since you last stood outside the apartment door. You’d never gone this long without talking to him since the two of you had started dating — but it had at least given you time to think.

Well, after collapsing on your friend’s couch and sleeping for 12 hours straight. And when your eyes eventually fluttered open, your head was pounding from the day before and body ached from the uncomfortable couch. Despite all that, you spent the next 36 hours churning every possible scenario, solution and outcome.

Which eventually landed you in front of the door.

Should you knock? No, that would be weird. This was your home too.

With slightly knotted nerves, you unlocked the door and peeped your head inside. “Kento?” Nothing. Not the sound of a mug being set down on the counter, not the creaking of the floorboards, or the tv buzzing with small talk from whatever channel was on. Just complete and utter silence.

As you walked deeper into the apartment, you understood why. He wasn’t home — probably at work. The atmosphere of your last conversation still lingered in the dark apartment, ushering you to turn on the floor lamp the the corner of the living room before falling onto the couch.

You clicked on the tv, putting on some trash reality tv to fill the silence, playing in the background as you settled with your head on the pillow, slowly drifting into a quiet slumber.

You didn’t even wake when Kento came slumping into the apartment two hours later, softening in pleasant surprise when his eyes landed on your sleeping figure.

Everything seemed to calm down a little inside his head at the sight. Out of habit, he walked over to you and let his knuckles brush softly against your cheek — causing you to flinch your eyes open, drawing a breath, a little startled at the sudden touch.

“Hey, honey,” he said in his raspy voice as he took a seat in the chair beside you.

“Hi,” you yawned, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you sat up, crossing your legs under you. “D’you just get back from work?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Pleased to see you here,” a weak smile greeted you, automatically returning it.

“You look tired.” It only earned you a small chuckle.

“I’ve pretty much lived at the office since, haven’t really been sleeping either.”

Your shoulders sank at his statement, feeling a tear rip up inside you when your gaze traced the small, dark pouches surrounding his tired eyes.

“I’ve been thinking-“

“Now that I have-“

Pleasant, low laughs chimed from the both of you, instantly setting the mood to be a lot more lighthearted than you had first anticipated. He put out his hand in front of him, signalling for you to go first.

“I’ve been thinking,” you started again, “and I wanna start off by apologising.” His eyebrows raised, lips parting slightly in surprise. “I overreacted. You hadn’t even accepted the offer and I came for you right of the bat, which I shouldn’t have done and I’m sorry. You were only thinking of our future.” As you spoke, he moved from his seat to sit carefully on the edge of the coffee table and instinctively took your hands in his, resting them in his lap.

“I shouldn’t have turned you down as fast as I did.”

“But…?” A sad smile grew on your lips at he just knew you had more to add.

“But after thinking, I still don’t want to give up my life in Tokyo.” Your words were weak. As many times as you’d had them play over and over in your head for the past two days, the reality of them hadn't really started to sink in until you actually said them out loud, the implication of it scaring you — it quickly caused you to tuck your bottom lip between your teeth to fight the overwhelming emotions taking root in you.

His big hand found your cheek, leaning into his touch, studying his face to get an insight to his mind.

“I know.”

All your power went into controlling your breath, looking how his eyes traces the outline of your face, his expression soft.

“I turned down the promotion.”

“What?” Confusion took a hold of you instead, nervously letting your glare bounce between his eyes. The feeling of his thumb stroking your cheek was enough for you to find some peace again, which had been his intention.

“It was unfair of me to spring it all on you the way I did. I guess I wasn’t thinking properly, acting rash which isn’t like me,” he chuckled softly. “There was one thing you said I really resonated with.”

“Okay…?” You swallowed. “What was that?”

“You told me your life is here in Tokyo. And as long as you’re here, so is mine.” A deep sigh of relief shot out of you, also triggering the tears to finally come running down your cheeks as you carefully leaned forward to rest your forehead against his.

“You sure?” You asked desperately in between small sobs, reaching up to put a hand in the nape of his neck in order to hold him closer.

“I should have given in the instant you showed the tiniest sign you weren’t interested.”

Pulling away to look at him, a smile grew on your face and it was quickly mirrored on his face as well. You waited for a reaction in his face to betray him, revealing any regret for giving up the opportunity but it never came. He just looked truly content.

You were proud of yourself for standing your ground, because you had made a promise to yourself long ago that your career and ambitions would not be given up easily. Nonetheless, it was like a ton of solid mass had been lifted off your shoulders when he revealed he'd stay.

Kento Nanami was, without the shadow of a doubt, the man you wanted to spend your life with. When looking into the future, you so clearly pictured him beside you for all of it — and clearly so did he. Whatever time brought your way, you know didn't have to fear doing it without him

“I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.” He almost wasn’t able to finish his declaration before you had him pulled in for a kiss, having missed his affection for the period you’d been gone, having felt like an eternity. “Hate to stop all this,” he chuckled in between your showering of love to interrupt you. “But I’m so extremely tired, and I’d love to fall asleep with you in my arms.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice.”

a/n so something came over me and had to write about the greenest of flags <nanami3. ofc, gotta do angst bc it's literally my default setting. but its fun to venture on to other characters, just hoping i do them justice

reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated

plagiarism not authorized

{SMAU}: asking the jjk men to put you in your place in bed!

{warnings}: profanity, suggestiveness, smut, pet-names (doll, mamas, baby), reader is referred to as “woman”.

{includes}: toji, sukuna, and choso.

[part 1]

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

ok u caught me i’m stupid

hello??? wtf yall😭😭 this is insane. i love yall sm ): <3

i’m crying what the fuck?😀

𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 x gn!reader after shibuya arc

🧸 ; angst, fluff, mentions of injuries, kinda teared up writing this lol

thinking about 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 that somehow survives the shibuya incident, but the burns have left him with permanent injuries and eyes that have lost their light.

𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢, when left alone at home, always waits for you patiently. every small noise has his ears perking because he thinks it's the door creaking open and that you've finally come home. he's calling your name repeatedly in the empty house, and the walls around him reflect the sound right back to his ears.

M O R E U N D E R C U T !

𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢, in the early days after losing his vision, would spend hours gently tracing your features, committing every curve and contour to memory. but as time passed, that mental image began to fade, slipping through his fingers like grains of sand.

𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 who turns to sculpting as a desperate act of defiance against time. with trembling hands, he would mold the clay, trying to capture the essence of your face from pure memory.

day after day, 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 would toil away, growing increasingly frustrated as his creations fell short of his mental image. 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 would run his hands over each failed attempt, tears of anguish streaming down his face as the truth sank in - he was slowly losing the one thing that anchored him to this world.

you would sit for hours, silently watching as 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢's hands wrestled with the clay; piles of fractured, distorted faces accumulating around them.

𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 who erupts in a violent emotional breakdown one day, and his voice cracks as he berates himself for his inability to recreate the face he cherishes above all else. he feels very guilty.

𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 who sobs into your arms for hours while you slowly caress his back and comfort him, tell him lovingly how you'd always be there for him no matter what happens, that you'll always love him forever.

𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 who falls asleep comfortably in your embrace after all that happened, his emotions completely drained. it'd all been weighing on his mind for far too long and the burden was finally lifted.

the next day, as 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 prepares to continue his solitary sculpting, hears the familiar sound of rustling, one of the plastic aprons he'd bought to use while sculpting — and is ecstatic to know you'll be helping him recreate your face on clay from now on.

𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 who finally is able to accept that even if the light from his eyes has been extinguished, you are the one sole light to him that will never go out.

i just found your account and started binging your smaus!! i'm sorry you feel burned out but real life is way more important, i hope you feel happier!

thank you so much sweetheart ): <3 sending you sm love💗