Kiichxko - Tumblr Blog

this was lowkey traumatic @kaveh-kisser hope ur happy 😕😕

details !!!!

Hey alexa, play careless whisper

I had a fucking vision with this one. (Aka: a bday gift for a friend of mine who swears up and down hes straight)

Guess who convinced their mom to buy vol 19 and 20 during her japan trip

WHO ELSE WOULD SEND ME A MESSAGE LIKE THAT

meow

Estelle girlie ik thats you 😭😭

Yall what if i made a hsr oc... the brainrot is real

meow

Estelle girlie ik thats you 😭😭

Finding myself relating to ness was NOT on my 2023 bingo card.

OKAY so the only thing I want to say about yesterday's spoilers (Ness backstory) is that borderliner* Ness is canon now lol

✅ explosive anger

✅ feeling neglected, alone, misunderstood most of the time

✅ low self-esteem and the resulting self-hatred

✅ strong, overwhelming emotions

(feelings that can't be explained == too high (for average person) bursts of them. Inability to handle them)

✅ black and white thinking

(Isagi's either good (tosses to Kaiser) or bad (doesn't toss to Kaiser) lol)

✅ fear of abandonment + self-harm

✅ very intense, frequent, extreme emotional swings

(difference of one second)

(difference of one second pt.2)

✅ maladaptive daydreaming

✅ determining one's value through relationships with others

✅ unstable relationships

I'm really disappointed that chapter haven't shown Ness' attempts to gain his parents and siblings love but, eh, okay. I can work with that

*

A little background on who people with borderline personality disorder are and where do they come from. (Of course, each case is unique. I'm talking about the average manifestation of the disorder here.)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder in which a person is unstable, hypersensitive, highly anxious, and has no sense of self (no feeling of identity). One in ten patients end up committing suicide.

In fact, borderliners are people with no emotional skin. What for a stable person is a small domestic nuisance - for a borderliner is boundless terror, fear, a complete sense of helplessness and overwhelming self-loathing. Are you sick? It's your fault, you're worthless. You forgot your pass and had to buy an underground ticket? You're disgusting, step under a train right now. You forgot the food in the fridge and it spoilt? Don't you dare eat for another three days, punish yourself, cut yourself because you're nothing. That's not an exaggeration, it's true. And then you see an advert with a doggy and you laugh until you cry and all is fine.

It's like that dozens of times in one day.

Why do borderliners work this way? Heredity plays a role (which in Ness's case can be seen, for example, by the fact that he reacted acutely to some things even as a child), but to a greater extent, of course, the family, because when BPD is treated in the early stages, it is more easily reduced to remission (but does not disappear completely - it is like the core of the personality). Speaking of family types, typically borderliners come out of families with a narcissistic parent or the same borderline. Why exactly is that the case?

Because life with a narcissist/borderliner parent is an endless battlefield in which the child is forced to survive. Any emotion you have, if it doesn't fall under the parent's incomprehensible ideas, is repulsive. Any request you make and attempt to speak your mind is a violation of all laws and the worst offence. Today you're the golden child, tomorrow you're trash. Today your mom says she loves you, and tomorrow she blames you for divorcing your dad. Today dad likes the tea you made him, tomorrow he'll throw it in your face. It's a constant violation of personal space, an inability to have privacy, an impossibility to defend your interests - and yet a staggering neglect, a removal of the child from your life. Parents in such families usually divide their children into "golden" and "outcast" children, emphasising in every possible way how terrible the lousy sheep of the family (the outcast child) is, and encouraging bullying by their siblings.

Sounds similar to Ness's story, doesn't it?

In such families, the child by the age of 6 or 7 already knows that he is disgusting, horrible, and must do anything to avoid being abandoned - because the parents emphasise in every possible way that he is horrible, but they (for now) keep him out of mercy. A child learns by the slightest movement of the eyebrows and corner of the mouth to know when mom loves you and when she hates you, when dad is good and when he's bad.

The childhood of such children is a battlefield, and they come out of it emotionally disabled. For example, a very common consequence of living in such a family, in addition to BPD, is PTSD. Yeah, like war veterans.

(and by the way, borderliners VERY often end up paired with… Narcissists. Because it's a familiar love-hate game. And on top of that, also a beautiful (non-existent) personality to take a bite out of for your non-existent self))

-------

(if it seems like I'm somehow writing about borderline disorder a bit too unkindly - I love Ness and sympathise with him. It's me whom I don't love lol)

In relation to the new chapter leaks, i just KNOW ness was a hardcore harry potter fan back in the day

Chap 241 kaiser has a chokehold on me

I think the new chapter got me back to falling head over heels for rin

Noel noa kinda h-

I JUST UPDATED AFTER 2 MONTHS OF NOT PLAYING??

Im lowkey bored while lying down, is anyone awake to talk.

Hi, hello it's almost 4 am and i cant sleep

More sketches of my bllk oc Jae-Yeon ^^

I cant do animatics for shit wtf

The sky vs the earth.

I'm actually not so sure abt myself but ig i can try?

I'm a pretty fast walker so i got no prob getting somewhere quick (running is another story)

I'd say that I like how i can space out rlly easily, It's just peaceful not to think too much

My art (?) Yes yes i do have days where i absolutely loathe my art but i think it's decent

Ig i'm a pretty good listener? Or an emotional support pillow bc im somewhat the therapist in my friend grp

I'm a fast learner with the proper guidance, but the problem is that i literally forget it quickly too

No pressure but im tagging: @senqv @kaveh-kisser @truegoist @honeybachira @mybelovedrin + anyone who wants to join

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers ✨

rah omg rome im using my laptop & i accidentally hit unfollow when i meant to send you this HSDFHSFS so if you saw me following you again... no you didn't

Sksjsjsjs I love you so much rylie baby you’re so sweet😭 but there was no need to send smn so tough in my inbox ok. Also I was about send a “:(” in your inbox💀💀

Ok 5 things I like about myself<3

I don’t or possibly can’t and won’t sugarcoat things, if I don’t like it, or you, I’ll just put it out there

Me writing, like idk what I write and idk who reads it or doesn’t, I like it

The way I look? Physical appearance wise, I mean sure I have my days but please- miss girl is very pretty

I like to think I’m a fast learner, or at least I grasp things fast and ye—puts me at an edge in my brain

Idk if It is a good thing or no, but I’m more rational than emotional in my approach and I just prefer thinking that it keeps me balanced this way

Anyways💀 tagging (because I’m also lazy<3): @illogicallyx @4sat0ruu @meiffy @cindol @immurrsed @romiyaro @rizzmin @kyojurismo @hqkalon @devoti (+you rylie but I’m assuming you already got it baby)

Fellas, is it normal to draw your ocs smooching under an umbrella.

First day of exams are tmr wish me luck bc it's chinese listening compre and history 🥲

Ah yes, new theme again yay 👍

WAIT I DIDNT KNOW U SPOKE BURMESE THATS SO COOL

JSJSJ AWW THANK YOU SEN!! BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS I WAS BURMESE THO?? (was it the font size on my blog intro istg i need to change my theme)

OH MY GOD YESSSS

To all the jjk stans right now, how are we feeling.