Kindasneaky - Kindasneaky - Tumblr Blog

shocking

shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.

So I was rereading Harry Potter, when I came across this and thought- what if instead of Cedric Diggory, Cassius Warrington had been chosen to compete in the Triwizard Tournament?

Imagine Dumbledore calling out the name of the Hogwarts champion and it isn’t a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but it’s a Slytherin. A student from a House most people hate.

Imagine Cassius Warrington getting up, and three out of four Houses are booing at him and shouting things like “NO!” or, “We can’t have a Slytherin champion!” or demanding a retry. But he’s a Slytherin- he’s been dealing with this shit since he got sorted, so he keeps his head high and joins the other champions.

Imagine Harry trying to catch Warrington alone because he doesn’t really want to associate with Slytherins (plus Malfoy has this tendency of being around the guy ALL THE TIME since he got chosen), but at the same time he’s also fair enough not to want him to walk into the first task unprepared.

Imagine Warrington walking over to Harry a few months later, and Ron and Hermione both jump into a protective stance, wands out, but instead of attacking Harry he just tells him to stick the egg underwater. (Because Slytherins don’t forget those who helped them out).

Imagine Warrington and Harry helping each other out in the labyrinth.

Imagine Harry being devastated when Peter kills Warrington- because Voldemort doesn’t care what house they’re form, a spare is a spare.

Imagine the uproar that causes among the Slytherins, because some of their parents really are Death Eaters and they know what really happened.

Imagine Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts and shouting “This is for Cassius!”

Kidnapper: We have your boyfriend.

Geralt: I don't have a boyfriend.

Kidnapper: Then who is this guy that won't stop signing songs about your muscular thighs?

Geralt: Oh fuck you have Jaskier...

HEY YOU YEAH YOU

DO YOU LIKE FAKE MARRIAGE STORIES?

DO YOU LIKE SPIES??

DO YOU LIKE SMOL CHILDREN WITH PSYCHIC POWERS???

THEN SIT THE FUCK DOWN CAUSE I HAVE A NEW MANGA FOR YOU

MEET SPY X FAMILY

THE MAN IS AGENT TWILIGHT, A SPY WHO HAS DISCARDED EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS PAST IN OrDER TO WORK FOR THE COUNTRY OF WESTALIS IN OPPOSITION TO THE COUNTRY OF OSTANIA

KINDA COLD WAR-ISH

HE KICKS ASS, HAS ALL THE GADGETS AND CAN CREATE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE-LIKE FACE-CHANGING MASKS

HE’S THE KINDA GUY YOU REALLY DON’T WANNA FUCK AROUND WITH

FOR HIS NEXT JOB HE’S GOTTA TAKE OUT A POLITICIAN WHO ONLY COMES OUT IN PUBLIC FOR HIS SON’S ELITE SCHOOL REUNIONS

AND TO INFILTRATE THAT AGENT TWILIGHT IS GONNA NEED

*DRUM THE FUCKING ROLLS*

TO ADOPT A KID!

THIS IS ANYA

SHE SMOL

SHE CUTE

SHE A RUNAWAY CHILD FROM AN UNDERGROUND EXPERIMENT THAT GAVE HER THE POWER TO READ PEOPLE’S THOUGHTS

SHE MAY HAVE HORNS, ANTENNAE OR JUST A BOW, I’M NOT SURE

SHE LEARNS TWILIGHT IS A SPY AND TRICKS HIM INTO ADOPTING HER AND THUS BEGINS THE FAKE!PARENT AND CHILD SHENANIGANS WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF CUTE BONDING

CAN YOU FEEL THE DIABETES YET

BUT THE SCHOOL ALSO REQUIRES MEETINGS TO BE WITH BOTH PARENTS, SO TWILIGHT NEEDS TO FIND A WIFE

THUS ENTERS YORU BRIAR

SHE’S A 27-YEAR-OLD OFFICE WALLFLOWER

SHE’S AN ORPHAN WHO RAISED HER YOUNGER BROTHER ON HER OWN

SHE STICKS HER LEGGY UP REAL FAR

SHE’S ALSO A HITWOMAN UNDER THE CODENAME “THORN PRINCESS” WHO ESPECIALIZES IN KILLING LOADS OF PEOPLE WITH HUGE NEEDLES AND CAN PUNCH YOU SO HARD YOU’LL THANK HER

(SHE’S STRONGER THAN TWILIGHT TOO)

WHEN SHE LIES TO HER BROTHER ABOUT HAVING A BOYFRIEND TO GET HIM OFF HER BACK, HER BROTHER INSISTS IN MEETING THE MAN PERSONALLY AND WILL EVEN REJECT A JOB PROMOTION UNTIL THEY MEET

AND SO THESE TWO CASUALLY MEET AND WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM ANYA, WHO FINDS OUT YORU IS A HITWOMAN AND REALIZES HAVING A SPY AND A HITWOMAN FOR PARENTS WOULD BE ENTERTAINING AS ALL HELL, THEY DECIDE TO FAKE A RELATIONSHIP TO HELP EACH OTHER’S GOALS

TWILIGHT WILL PRETEND TO BE YORU’S BOYFRIEND TO GET HER BROTHER OFF HER BACK

YORU WILL PRETEND TO BE TWILIGHT’S WIFE SO ANYA CAN GET IN THE ELITE SCHOOL

BUT BECAUSE THE POLITICAL CLIMATE IS SO HEAVY WITH SUSPICION AND PEOPLE ARE BEING FALSELY ACCUSED TO BEING SPIES ALL THE TIME, THEY DECIDE TO FAKE-MARRY FOR REAL, JUST TO APPEAR LIKE A NORMAL COUPLE AND THROW SUSPICION OFF THEM AND THEIR RESPECTIVE SECRET JOBS

BUT JUST UNTIL THEY MEET THEIR GOALS RIGHT GUYS

THERE’S DEFINITELY NOT GONNA BE ANY REAL FEELINGS DEVELOPING OR ANYTHING RIGHT GUYS

YES THAT IS A GRENADE PIN TWILIGHT USED AS A WEDDING RING GUYS

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE ACTUAL, GREATEST THING IS? NOBODY KNOWS THE OTHER PARTY’S SECRET

TWILIGHT DOESN’T KNOW YORU IS A HITWOMAN

YORU DOESN’T KNOW TWILIGHT IS A SPY

NOBODY KNOWS ANYA IS PSYCHIC

ANYA KNOWS EVERYTHING BUT PRETENDS NOT TO SO SHE CAN HAVE A FAMILY

IT’S SUCH A STUPID, HILARIOUS CLUSTERFUCK THAT WILL BLOW UP IN GOD KNOWS WHICH WAY AND I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT FOR IT

THUS FAR THERE’S TWO CHAPTERS OUT, 50 PAGES EACH. IT RELEASES ON THE MANGAPLUS APP BI-MONTHLY WHICH IS A LONG WAIT BUT OH GOD SO FUCKING WORTH IT

AND I HOPE THIS POST WILL CONVINCE MORE PEOPLE TO READ IT AND KEEP IT RUNNING FOR MANY YEARS TO COME

Im pretty sure you can’t get cooler than this Jedi trio

A lot of deep sea creatures are coloured red, but since the colour blends in so well with dark water it just ends up looking black or dark blue. 

In short, combined with the horn-like crown, submerged home, and pitchfork/trident, Poseidon is just another name for the Devil.

reblog if you ARE JEWISH, if you SUPPORT JEWISH PEOPLE, or if you WANT ALL NEONAZIS TO BE CARRIED OFF BY MOTHMAN

me until like october thanks to clim8 change

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

Mammia Mia fits every fight scene perfectly: Exhibit B

Meet Ladybeard, A Cross-Dressing Wrestler And Death Metal Singer From Australia

Lesbians still making posts about how bad it is for bi women to use butch/femme:  We know! We heard u! We’re trying to make our own terms and have them used widespread but we need to get the WORD out for them to be commonplace and that’s hard when literally nobody but bis reblog posts talking about bisexuals lol! It’s not like we all follow each other. At this point the only people trying to take ur terms from you are lesphobes or young bi girls who straight up don’t realize they aren’t generic wlw terms because they haven’t learned the history bc literally no one is out here trying to include and teach bisexual kids shit about their gay lineage, everyone’s too busy trying to push it under the rug. 

bi equivalent of femme: doe bi equivalent of butch: stag

There are more for nb bis and such you can look into but there’s the basics! Look I’ve even designed flags you can find if you scroll through this tag! (i didnt come up with the terms)  

A lot of deep sea creatures are coloured red, but since the colour blends in so well with dark water it just ends up looking black or dark blue. 

In short, combined with the horn-like crown, submerged home, and pitchfork/trident, Poseidon is just another name for the Devil.

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry

Reblog if you have read fan fiction better than some published books

Help me prove a point

Know their names and their stories.

lilith: i’m with child! :)

lucifer, who had no idea that he as a (fallen) angel could even physically beget life: HHSDGFHJDIJFHRJKVBCDVSC

Instagram did a thing.

the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore

who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”

at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it

Disney vs. 7 early fairytales 

The Stark Children

Looks like they could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll: Robb

Looks like a cinnamon roll, but could actually kill you: Arya

Looks like they could kill you and actually would: Sansa

Looks like a cinnamon roll and actually is a cinnamon roll: Jon

Looks like they could zig-zag, but actually can't: Rickon

Looks like they're dead inside: Bran