I Think This Is It Guys.. Took Me A Decade But I Finally Found The Ultimate Show For The Homoerotic Archenemies

I think this is it guys….. Took me a decade but I finally found the ultimate show for the homoerotic archenemies enjoyers.

X: you are a bit obsessed

Me: that's not true

X: you watched the drama nine times

Me: ten *click play on the laptop*

Actually can I just say. I LOVE how they didn't give Jiao Liqiao the classic "innocent pining maiden becomes a vengeful lunatic after giving up everything for love and getting nothing in return" villain origin story. And it's not so much the "innocent maiden" part (although you know what. Yes I do also love that we know she'd already had her own thing going on before she met Di Feisheng from that tiny flashback scene, and that they didn't take the "oof look what falling in love with a gay man did to this once good-hearted and perfectly sane young woman" route but ANYWAY. Back to the post at hand) but the "giving up everything and getting nothing in return" I was really talking about. Like despite what she's always saying and preaching to the entire Jinyuan Alliance, we can tell from every single scene she's been in that the pay is good and the employee benefits are insane. And you know, obviously I can't relate because I've never wanted to fuck my boss before, and I guess yeah, it would probably suck if you spent thirteen years trying and failing to fuck a man only to realize that he's gay and also married to the man you spent thirteen years trying and failing to murder, but like, let's be real for a second here. Her job offered great career prospects (she managed to get to a position that had more influence in the Alliance than its actual director in a decade), flexible hours and paid time-off so she could work on her own projects (the Nanyin side quest, multiple assassinations, mastering the art of seduction), employer-provided housing (which was grander and more luxurious than the employer’s own house), healthcare and dental (she could get the bicha poison from her boss's royal physician no questions asked, so it only makes sense that she could also get whatever meds she needed for her ailments or at least annual health checks), like, all that hopeless pining aside, she was living deliciously. Like. Just imagine.

Imagine having a job like this AND your boss (who is unfuckable to you) is literally never there. My god. No actually you know what? Imagine running with the biggest baddest criminal organization in your lawless city, and it’s all well and good and everything you've ever dreamed of and more (and your boss is literally. NEVER. there) except that once every two months, a different idiot fucks up and lands all of your asses back in the conference room, where your boss sits at the head of the table and goes “I'm not mad; I'm just disappointed. I'm disappointed that none of you figured out something was wrong until we almost lost this month's shipment to the Shadows of Thirteenth Street, and I'm disappointed in myself for losing my temper and gutting Craig at the harbor yesterday, because right now I feel like the only way to get my point across the room and through your thick, sense-proof skulls, is to get him in here and gut him again on this table. On the other hand, you know who will NEVER disappoint me? No I wasn't talking to you, shut the fuck up. But yes. You said it. If Clarissa hadn't caught the mole in time, our shipment and the hard-earned peace in this city would've been up in smoke by dawn. Clarissa, patron saint of our shared profits and savior of my vacations, my shining beacon in a sea of dimwits, you will be rewarded for this. Say, do you need a new car? Another villa? Or if you want a promotion I can just fire Jeremy and give you his job. Oh, I already did that in August? And where’s Jeremy now? What's that? I had him taken out back and shot? Well I guess that explains the recent boost in our staff morale. So who's above Clarissa at the moment? It's just me? Well. You know me. I'd fire myself right now if I could, but I kinda still need that employee discount at the McDonald's downstairs, I'm sure you understand. Anyway, now that Jeremy's out of the picture, his Silver Fir Villa must've been sitting vacant for a while. What do you think? You can move in tonight if you want"

And then Clarissa, who is the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, smiles the most dazzling smile in the history of dentistry and replies "you know what I want. I want to be your one and only, your partner in crime, in bed, in life and for life. I want to be the last face you see before you close your eyes every night, and the first voice to greet you at every sunrise. I want to feel your fingers in my hair and your lips on my lips. I want you, my love, and there's not enough money or power in the world for you to buy your way out of this. I want you, and if I can't have you, I shall destroy you" and then your boss just looks at her and goes "Clarissa. The Silver Fir Villa has a hot spring" and she's like "–yes, I will take the villa thank you very much" this happens at least five or six times a year, but it never gets less insane for any of you. Your twelfth year there you decide to finally take a week off from work to go birdwatching in the mountains, and the first morning you're back your colleague Daniel stops you on your way to the coffee machine and goes "hey man have you heard what happened? Clarissa ran our boss over with her Aston Martin last weekend and tied him up in her basement. It was crazy" and you're like "I've been SAYING that this would happen. So which hospital is he staying at and can he have solids now? I could swing by later with some of my homemade stew" and Daniel is like "oh he's still in the basement. I was the one who dragged him there" and you're like "what? Why would you ever do that?" and he just goes "WELL the way he responds to my e-mails just really pisses me off"

Mysterious Lotus Casebook | Lian Hua Lou | 莲花楼 | Episode 10

"Since you have been poisoned with the deadliest poison, no poison can harm you anymore."

--Monk Wuliao

I've been thinking a lot about this line lately, and its potential repercussions. In context, this is Li Lianhua remembering Monk Wuliao's words from when he was healed as much as he could have been from the Bicha Poison 10 years ago. Shortly before these remembered words, there is a flashback wherein it is revealed that Li Xiangyi had a nut allergy that made him break out in hives. That bowl of food he's eating is a nut porridge brought to him by Yun Biqiu. (There are less dangerous ways to see if this person is your former sect leader, Biqiu! O_o;;;) Anyway, as he is eating this nut porridge, and remembering this line, Li Lianhua is distinctly NOT breaking out in hives.

The conclusion that we are clearly supposed to draw is that the Bicha Poison has prevented the "toxin" of the nuts from harming its host.

...but why stop there?

If a nut is a poison for the purpose of this mechanism of action, then what about other drugs/medications? After all, to quote one of my favorite sayings: "Healers and poisoners are folks with similar skill sets and wildly different philosophies." Or to put it as I learned it in my toxicology class in vet school: "All medicines are poisons at the right dose."

So if a nut can be a poison, then medications CERTAINLY are. And if the Bicha poison recognizes the nut as a poison and prevents it from acting, then we can assume it would do the same to any medications.

That explains why Medicine Demon's priceless potions DON'T WORK.

That explains why the snake bites DON'T WORK.

That explains why Guan Hemeng's medicines DON'T WORK.

It also explains why Li Lianua is so convinced that Fan Duobing's pill from Tianji Hall and Di Feisheng's Wangchuan Flower WON'T work.

Because once you've been poisoned by Bicha Poison, NO OTHER POISON WILL HARM YOU... or help you.

And taking that a step further, it means that every time Li Lianhua has been sick or injured or in need of pain medication in the past ten years, NONE OF IT WOULD HAVE WORKED. And considering how much more fragile he is now than he used to be, that absolutely breaks my heart.

Just imagine that every time he was ill or injured, he had to weigh the benefits of using Yangzhouman to heal himself versus the risk of using too much and shrinking the time he had left even more. How many times must he have chosen to just power through and hope he makes it to the other side? No wonder he's so reluctant to let Guan Hemeng examine him and try to help. No wonder he doesn't want to waste everyone else's precious medications on himself. He knows they'll do nothing.

...excuse me while I go cry in a corner now. TT^TT

It's so weird talking to people who's view of "here's the way life is for everyone" is shattered as soon as they talk to someone with disabilities (physical, mental illness, any). Like you'll say you'll have a problem and instead of helping you they'll argue with you about how you're not actually facing that problem. Like,

Me: Hey, I'm really struggling to find a job and a part of it is my resume. I was depressed & psychotic during highschool so I didn't do anything to gain skills or achievements to put on my resume. I also don't have anyone to put as a reference. What can I do?

Them: You can add your skills, hobbies, clubs you're in, and different volunteer work you've done! You can also get your teacher as a reference.

Me: I already know what to put on a resume, my issue is that I don't have things that I can use. Also, I'm in my mid 20s so I don't know if I can put my highschool teacher as a reference.

Them: Well if you're a part of a church or an activity group, you could add that. Also, think of any projects you've worked on in the past.

Me: I already know you can put these things on a resume. I'm not looking for suggests of things I've already done, I'm looking for what I can do now if I haven't done anything.

Them: There's no way you didn't do anything during highschool?? What about some odd jobs you definitely did for extra money, like babysitting or mowing the lawn?

Me: I spent all of highschool either in modified classes or in bed doing nothing - not even hobbies, what about that do you not understand?

And then you talk to someone who's also disabled and they're like "Here's a bunch of jobs you can do from home that don't pay much but look good on a resume, here's some free online courses that also look good on a resume, here's how you can be making small amounts of money in the meantime, here's some things you can put besides a professional reference, and here are your rights if your future employer tries to take advantage of your disability - which you probably shouldn't tell them about unless you need accommodations."

And suddenly my will to continue trying returns!

not exactly inktober but! i will try to draw a quick cat doodle every day of october..... i just think they're neat