This Is Something I Wrote For A Friend Struggling With Some Medical Neglect In Their Home Life And Also

This is something I wrote for a friend struggling with some medical neglect in their home life and also with doctors. i think it’s very important because so many people dont think about the inherent flaws in our current medical system and the damage it does.

i have feelings about the blind faith and trust in all doctors. or the “self diagnosis isnt valid”. they havent proven themselves to deserve it. humans are not perfect and doctors especially are taught in a culture that encourages gaslighting and superiority. on the other note, the reason self diagnosis is waved off is because some people do incorectly diagnose themselves or convince themselves they have something to cope with other things or fit in.

one reason a doctor diagnosis is important is they are more likely to know other options it might be or spot the signs something else or something as well is going on.

unfortunately it takes a decent doctor to do that and most doctors are taught in a way that discourages that or are too overworked and understaffed to give the patient enough attention.

i honestly have a very similar feeling to medical professionals as i do to cops

all cops are bastards- that doesnt mean they are all bad or that there are good people who are cops who actually do their job in a good way, but the system itself is broken and they are part of that system. same for medical professionals

as such there are medical professionals who are good at their job and listen and actually evaluate all the options and are willing to learn and grow

but they are also part of a broken system

it’s come to a point in the area of mental health where self diagnosis is almost required to get the help you need. especially if you land in a category most doctors dismiss or the problem you’re struggling with they have biases about. you oftentimes need to know ahead of time and be ready to defend your case and get the professional to take you seriously.

even if you end up being wrong about what you diagnosed yourself with you need to have a place to start and defend with your doctor.

and when it’s a doctor that feels challenged by you self diagnosing, or if you are unsure, another very helpful thing is to focus mainly on the symptoms. make a physical list of each symptom you experience along with examples and how they effect you. and if you want to go the extra mile also have documents that show how those symptoms relate to the diagnosis you’re suspecting to show that you both know what you’re talking about and there is a real and tangible connection.

another thing that is helpful when self diagnosing whether or not a doctor is involved is peer review. peers often have biases as well so dont take their word as law. your the only one who is you. you know your struggles the best. talk it out with them, tell them your symptoms, compare them with the diagnosis you suspect- if they have similar experiences or suspect or are diagnosed with a similar thing talk about that. learn more, both in an academic sense and in a real life experience sense. and find people who dont relate- it can be so valuable to find people you dont relate with because then you start to realize what you are struggling with is not a normal thing. that’s the first step in getting help- either professional or letting yourself help yourself.

and at the end of the day an official diagnosis may not be necessary depending on the thing. they are far too hard to get. but they can be useful for accommodations in either school or work if you find yourself needing support in ways you cant give yourself and can only be given by an employer or school. but even without an official diagnosis a good employer or teacher or such will work with you on your struggles and help you find a way to do things in ways that help you

that being said some things need a professional diagnosis as well because they require professional medical help (COUGH COUGH EDS BITCHES /SRS)

in which case as i said before being told no by a doctor doesnt automatically mean it isnt true. learn to trust yourself, learn more about yourself, and if you still need that diagnosis come back armed with more information and proof.

it’s a hastle and i have so many intense feelings about how wrong it is to be this difficult. too many people suffer needlessly for it

(edit was because copy and paste didn't include the first paragraph for some reason)

I'm happy to announce that this month I was finally able to buy Pirlouit a proper packsaddle! Doesn't he look very professional? And handsome. He receives a lot of compliments every time a visitor sees him all dressed up.

If he looks a bit wary in this photo it's because it was the first time I added the baskets, and as he'd never seen such large baskets before he wasn't sure they weren't about to eat him. His nervousness only took the form of twitchy ears though, there was no drama. (And he can be very melodramatic, so really he's been very stoical and self-possessed in the process of getting used to the packsaddle.)

He can also sulk for days if I make him do something he doesn't like (e.g. hoof care, which he seems to interpret as pointless torture), so I find it gratifying that every time we've used the packsaddle so far, he didn't try to avoid me the next day but came to greet me—he makes it very obvious when he is offended by an activity, and I'm glad that he seems to enjoy being asked to help carry things :).

When I bought the packsaddle I was a bit concerned about the girth being too small, because Pirou refused to let me measure his circumference beforehand (and I was pretty sure having to resort to some sort of girth extender would embarrass him) (but he does have a very round belly...)

But no; I was able to fasten all the straps—though I spared him the crupper strap at first.

I had to have two tall trees felled in the pasture (because of a project I will talk about in another post), and I also cut a couple of storm-damaged trees in my woods, so I spent a lot of time this year cutting & splitting logs. I now have several stacks quite far from my house, in places that can't be reached with a wheelbarrow, and my donkey's help is very appreciated to carry everything to the woodshed. Plus, the people who visit me are usually more into doing stuff with the llamas, so this allows me to give attention to Pirlouit too, while doing something useful.

Aren't you proud to be now in my Top 3 Most Useful Animals, Pirou?

... wait he's still grumbling about that one comment.

Escape artist

I’m not a classicist, but I suspect one of the reasons so many of the Greek gods are portrayed so unflatteringly was less because they were seen as villains than because they represented their domains.  Of course Zeus sometimes misuses his power, that’s what a king does.  Of course Artemis’s wrath is wild and painful, that’s what nature can be.  Of course Hades snatched away a young girl from her mother’s arms, that’s what death does.  This is one of the reasons callout posts for some gods comparing them negatively to ‘nicer’ gods are kind of missing the point.

Same thing with ADHD and autism screening questions. I see my traits as normal. Not too much or too little. But even "are you told something something" does not help - people around me may not notice or not be talkative persons or not see mentioning something negative as polite or /in my case/ there are under 10 real people I even communicate each months. I mostly communicate through the internet. And even being asked in depression test: "Do you have trouble to get out of the bed?" I answer: "Well, not all the time. So no, I guess."

I feel like I would have been diagnosed with OCD a lot earlier if the vast majority of screening questions (for mental illnesses in general) weren't based on the person's perception of their own behavior, in isolation. and what i mean by that is asking someone with OCD "do you wash your hands excessively?" is not a good question.

a person with OCD believes they are washing their hands the correct number of times. it's not excessive. we believe we're exhibiting best practices and helping to keep everything clean.

better questions might be, "does it seem like you wash your hands a lot more than your friends or family?" "do you get dry patches or cuts on your hands from washing your hands?" "do you find it deeply distressing, more so than how you've seen other people react, when you get something on your hands that you can't clean off right away?"

being asked "are you overly preoccupied with bugs, symmetry, and contamination?" also got "no" responses from me years ago in my life. what they didn't ask for, and didn't know, was what *exactly* I was doing in my day to day life that genuinely ate up my time and mental space to a concerning degree, but I *didn't know* that other people don't do this.

"do you spend a lot of time cleaning?" -> no, it's not a lot. it's a good amount. why?

"do you become frustrated because it seems like no one else meets your organizational and cleanliness standards - do you often 'take over' for other people because they can't do it right - do new friends seem surprised by how strict you can be about your living space?" -> oh. yeah. yeah I get it now.