This Is A Poem

this is a poem

hi do y'all mind if i misuse this blog entirely for a second. idk why i'm asking i don't actually care they found a new snake it's a New Snake we didn't know about this snake before!!!!

It is so because of dopamine. Dopamine fills my/your body, when facing Real Trouble. Minor inconvenience does not open up dopamine tap.

you never know what someone is going through. for instance i didnt know i was going through anything until about 2 years later. i thought i was just chilling

Long post inbound.

As a math tutor I often try to catch up with my student’s interests and hobbies. “What kind of things do you do?” I will ask. “Are there any ‘pet projects’ you’re passionate about right now?”

The answers are usually the same: most kids play online games with friends, do homework, play some sport maybe, or more commonly can’t really think of any particular hobby they have. Some have unique hobbies, like collecting car key fobs from eBay, or learning game development. But the majority of answers I get are generic in nature.

I don’t bring this up with the intent to criticize the lack of any of these creative endeavors in younger children. With the amount of responses I’ve received that fit the previous description, I am fully aware that either allistics just… don’t share their passions in casual conversation as much, or that it is my level of passion that is abnormal.

Regardless of which of the aforementioned causes is true, it got me thinking about the sheer number of projects I take on, and the amount of time I dedicate to them. And I came to the conclusion that this phenomenon may have to do with my ADHD.

When a kid with ADHD either forgets to do something or can’t muster the executive functioning to do it, they’re usually punished in some way. This punishment, if it doesn’t come from their parents or teachers or peers or societal expectations, will come from the anxiety and panic that results from suddenly remembering the thing that was supposed to be done three days ago, or perhaps from their frustration of knowing they didn’t do it without knowing why.

Over time, the brain learns these patterns, and associates being relaxed and idle with a nagging feeling of “I’m forgetting something”, or “I’m supposed to be doing something right now.” The brain does this as a defense mechanism, attempting to proactively prevent the kind of anxiety and punishment that has historically been the result of such idleness.

In other words, your brain learns that — when you’re being idle or “lazy” — it’s an indicator that some task has been forgotten.

The result of this learned pattern? An adult who will never have a “lazy day-off” of their own volition. Not when they’re sick, or injured, or sleep-deprived, or in great need of a break. Because the ADHD brain has learned the erroneous pattern that being relaxed means you’re forgetting something.

And when the camel’s back finally breaks, and the body forces you to take a day off, you never enjoy it fully. There’s always that nagging of “you could/should be doing something productive right now.”

It took me awhile to unlearn that pattern.It still comes back sometimes. It’s easy to know on a surface level that you don’t need to prove your productivity by denying your body the rest it needs; it’s harder to internalize and act upon that knowledge.

I want to know whether anyone else can relate to this; I think I may be onto something here.

ngl I thought the puzzle piece as an autistic symbol meant like. I am a vital puzzle piece to your society. humans would never have invented half the things they did without us. you're telling me it means I'm missing something?? buddy. listen. listen to me reeeeaal closely. no human has all the pieces to humanity. no one. no one has all the features enables no one has all the strengths weaknesses or quirks. no one has a whole puzzle. we make the freaking complete picture together. that's the freaking point.