Took A Pic Of My Shadow, Creepy, I Love It

Took a pic of my shadow, creepy, I love it

Hey Google, play Ava Adore by The Smashing Pumpkins

🤣🤣

Well....

*lights head on fire* trust me, im saving you from becoming a Jeff Dunham prop....

He put his tattoo up to my face and started pretending it was hissing and biting me

His intrusive thoughts won my dudes💀😭

Ran out of iron tablets last night so my husband drove us both to Dollar General. Looked everywhere and thought they were out, was like "oh damn I'm about to become violently ill within the next couple of days" but lo and behold, right next to the garlic tablets. There it was. My husband was laughing himself to death and had to take a pic of my sour expression. I get everywhere in is alphabetical order but still, wtf.... who puts iron right next to the garlic

He was having too much fun and I literally had to check the bottle at the check-out just make sure it was in fact iron, not garlic.

I'm not allowed to navigate the shopping cart anymore because I'm "too fast". So I tried to walk in what felt like slow motion and he just kept glaring at me. Still had to walk in slo-mo beside him because if I walked at my normal pace, he would be an aisle behind me....

Steve Smith: a cigaaaaaaahhr

every time i eat one of these fucking things my soul goes away and i become a mafia boss smoking a fat fucking cigar pondering the next sap on my hit list