Spots On!

spots on!

EIGHT / hi yeonjun!

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warnings: mentions of hotboxing, people making out and throwing up, alcohol consumption, i think that’s it??

word count: 2.8k

YOU GAVE BEOMGYU A LOT OF SHIT, but deep, deep down, you were very grateful the two of you were friends. If it wasn’t for him, you would probably be at home, crying and watching some drama while wondering what Yeonjun was doing at the stupid party. Talking to girls prettier than you? Kissing girls prettier than you? You couldn’t even imagine it. 

You were going to talk to him tonight, you really were! Even if you had to force Beomgyu to help you find an opportunity to talk to him, it was going to happen, even if it was the death of you! Which, it probably would be. In past attempts to talk to him, you noticed you always seemed to freeze up, and your mouth would go dry and you wouldn’t be able to get even a word in. 

Not this time, though! Things were going to be different! After your brief interaction with him on Twitter, you were growing more and more confident that Yeonjun didn’t hate you and wasn’t going to spit in your face if you spoke to him. Though, you felt a bit silly for ever thinking anything like that was possible in the first place, since for as long as you had known Yeonjun, he had always been one of the nicest people. That was part of the reason you liked him in the first place, wasn’t it?

The party was exciting for more reasons than just Yeonjun being there, though. As a second year college student, and a superhero, you hadn’t had much time to have any kind of fun. You were very much looking forward to a night out with your friends--Yeonjun just so happening to be there was just an added bonus. You just hoped that nobody would get akumatized while you were there, and force you to leave early. That would really suck, right?

About fifteen minutes later than you had been expecting, you heard a loud thud outside your apartment, and peered out the window to see a familiar beat up van parked along the curb. The fender was barely holding on by a thread, the thread being Bulbasaur themed duct tape. With an annoyed groan, you grabbed your jacket and fled your home to go greet your friends.

“I swear to god, Hee, if you don’t start leaving earlier so your dumbass van doesn’t make us late, I’m going to throw a brick at your head.” You grunted as you threw the van door open, hissing when you caught a whiff of the smell inside. It was truly a travesty that you and all your friends were broke college students, otherwise you wouldn’t be stuck with Heeseung’s minivan that had been passed down through his family for over a decade.

“Hey, not too much on Dongshik!” Your friend snapped at you from the driver's seat, while you used your jacket to sweep off old McDonald’s wrappers onto the floor that had been in there for lord knows how long. “If it weren’t for ol’ Dong, you wouldn’t even have a ride to this party, so show some respect!”

“Fine. Sorry, Dongshik.” You rolled your eyes, finally sitting down next to Sieun in the back. “Hey, Sieunnie!” You greeted your friend, giving her a small wave.

“Y/N! You look so cute!” She grinned at you, gesturing to the outfit you had definitely not spent two hours digging through your closet and having a breakdown on your floor to put together. 

“Haha, really? It’s just a little something I threw together.” You lied. 

“You look like you tripped and fell into a chicken coop.” Beomgyu finally acknowledged you, probably referencing the feathers that lined the hems of your cardigan. 

You took back anything nice you had previously said about Beomgyu. You hated him and wanted to watch him burn. “Shut up, Beomgyu. Are we going to pick up Jeongin?” You changed the subject, diverting your attention to Heeseung, who was currently trying to get Dongshik to start up, which was always very difficult after it idled for too long.

“Thankfully, no. He is catching a ride with some of his other friends, so we don’t have to worry about taking another hour to get to the damn party!” He began shouting out of frustration, smacking the steering wheel as if it would make the van go any faster. 

You rested your head against the seat’s headrest and turned to look out the window, the reminder that you were actually about to go to a party and see your crush hitting you and setting your nerves ablaze once again. The last time you had seen Yeonjun was when you were eating lunch with your friends and he stopped by, and you--of course--had barely managed to get out a single hi! 

This time was going to be different, though! You had all week to prepare yourself for seeing and talking to him, so things were going to go well. You really didn’t have anything to worry about.

Right?

YOU HAD NO IDEA WHO MARK LEE WAS, but he really knew how to throw a party. After what should have been a ten minute drive that turned into a half an hour, you and your friends had finally made it to SMU campus. Due to the size of the party, you had to park about a block away from the house, and Heeseung, of course, had nearly given you whiplash when he pulled up against the curb. You wished he had given you whiplash, so you could have sued him for your medical bills and paid off your student loans.

There were tons of young adults hanging around outside the house, a few were throwing up in the grass and a few were making out with one another, and a few were passed out on the ground. You thought if there was going to be a place where someone got pissed off and got taken advantage of by Hawk Moth, it was going to be here. The thought made your fingers subconsciously jump to your ears, checking that your earrings that gave you your superhero abilities were still there. You were relieved to feel them. 

“You okay?” Sieun asked, tilting her head at you as she watched you. Sieun was the only one of your friends who knew about your secret identity, and probably the only one who would ever find out. The thought of Jeongin, Heeseung, or Beomgyu finding out that you were Ladybug was terrifying. Even telling Sieun had been scary enough, but around the time of your freshman year, things had become too difficult for you to keep the burden of your secret to just yourself. 

“Hm? I’m fine.” You gave her a small smile, allowing your hands to fall back to your side. “I was just hoping that tonight goes smoothly, and I won’t have anything… You know, superhero-y to worry about.” You lowered your voice, lingering a bit back from Heeseung and Beomgyu so they wouldn’t hear you.

Sieun nodded, averting her gaze over to the house you were about to enter. “Well, worrying about that is just going to create the exact negative energy that would lead to that, right?” She asked you, and you nodded slowly. “So let’s not worry about it! Let’s just try to have fun! You are going to talk to Yeonjun and he is going to immediately fall in love with you and you are going to get married and adopt a cat together, right?” 

She nudged you, and you couldn’t fight the grin that crept onto your lips.”You really shouldn’t feed my delusions, you know.”

“Hey! Who said it's a delusion? It could really happen!” 

“What could really happen?” A voice asked from behind you, and you nearly leapt out of your skin. You spun around to see it was just Jeongin, and let out a sigh of relief. 

“Baby Bread!” You and Sieun exclaimed in unison, and threw your arms around your friend. He groaned under your hug, trying to push you off, but Heeseung and Beomgyu must have heard the commotion and came over to join in on the group hug.

“Help me! I don’t know these people! They’re freaks!” Jeongin yelled, trying to catch the attention of anyone walking by, but was completely ignored. 

“Aww, our little Baby Bread. We missed you so much!” Heeseung cooed, reaching up to ruffle his friend’s hair. And, unfortunately his arms were pinned to his side by the hug, and he couldn’t defend himself.

“You were literally at my campus hotboxing in your stupid van yesterday!” Jeongin snapped, and you rolled your eyes. Well, that explained the smell, at least. 

Finally, you all stepped away from Jeongin, allowing him a chance to catch his breath since you had all nearly suffocated him. “You know, you can hug me without crushing my ribs.” He huffed. 

“Mmm, I don’t think that’s true.” Sieun retorted, earning a very unthreatening glare from Jeongin. You were growing anxious the longer you and your friends hung around outside, your eyes flickering to the door over and over again as you thought of Yeonjun inside. The longer you spent out there, the higher the risk of him making out with some random girl became.

“Hey, I’m thirsty, let’s go in.” You whined.

Beomgyu gave you a deadpan look. “Yeah, thirsty for Yeonjun.” He snorted, and you smacked his arm as hard as you could. “Jesus! What the fuck?! When did you get so fucking strong?” You stuck your tongue out at him, then began to walk towards the house entrance with your friends following close behind. 

Inside smelled even worse than the inside of Heeseung’s van. As soon as you stepped in, some guy ran past the front door and nearly spilled a cup of beer all over you, had you not managed to back up just in time. You quickly clung onto Sieun once she was inside of the house, grabbing ahold of her arm and hugging tightly. 

You felt silly--a girl who had fought many monsters and horrible supervillains before, petrified by a college party. You were starting to regret even showing up, but then you were reminded of why you had decided to suffer through such a stupid party.

There he was, coming out of what looked like a kitchen, practically glowing under the dimmed lights of the party like some kind of angel. With his long, dark hair tousled, and his white dress shirt opened a few buttons, and his sleeves rolled up, was Choi Yeonjun, in all his glory, and not attached at the lips to some random girl. A wave of relief and affirmation washed over you, and you had half a mind to cry and thank Beomgyu over and over right then and there.

But, then you realized something horrible. He was walking, and he was walking straight over in your direction. You looked over at Sieun with panicked eyes, your heart rate increasing tenfold. Yes, the two things that could stop the Ladybug dead in her tracks: a college party, and Choi Yeonjun.

“Look, Y/N! It’s your boyfriend~!” Heeseung sang in a low voice, and you fought the urge to elbow him in his stupid face. 

Before you could come up with some kind of plan to talk to him, he was a foot away from you, and you had no more time. “Hey, YJ, what’s up?” Beomgyu asked him, holding up a hand for him to high five, but Yeonjun ignored him, instead letting out an annoyed groan. 

“My stupid dad just called me, he’s like, freaking out.” Yeonjun explained, and just the sound of his voice so close to you caused your cheeks to light ablaze. “He’s demanding I go home right now.”

You were too distracted by his proximity, you barely processed his words. “Dude, what the fuck? Just tell him no! You’re a grown man, you’re allowed to go to a party with your friends!” Beomgyu argued back, but Yeonjun just shook his head. 

“I really want to, but he’s already pissed, and I don’t want to make things worse. You know how he gets.” He huffed, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. The sight caused you to suck in a breath, and you abruptly choked on your own saliva and started to cough incessantly. 

You wanted to die, as you raised your arm and began to cough loudly, and even worse was the fact that you nearly dying because of your own spit was what caused him to finally notice you standing there. If it wasn’t for your bodily instincts taking over and causing you to cough, you would have rather let yourself choke on your own saliva and died right there.

His eyes met your own, and you really wished it was under different circumstances, because you had literally dreamed about gazing into his eyes. Although he wasn’t looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world, like he did in most of your dreams. No, he was looking at you like he was concerned you were going to literally hack up a lung or something. Jeongin gave your back a harsh smack, and you finally stopped coughing. 

“You really can’t stay for like, ten more minutes? I just got here, dude, I haven’t even gotten to see Party Yeonjun.” Beomgyu pouted, diverting Yeonjun’s attention away from you.

“I’m sorry, man. Maybe next time?” Yeonjun said hopefully, and then it finally hit you that he was leaving. The entire reason you had showed up to this stupid party in the first place was leaving!

“Yeah, whatever. Good luck with your dad.” Beomgyu sighed, clasping his hand together with Yeonjun’s then pulling him close and patting his   back. “See you later.” 

“Yeah, see you guys later.” Yeonjun gave a weak smile, glancing over at you one last time. 

Oh, no! He was leaving! You had to say something! Anything! You had sworn before showing up that you would talk to him! 

Without thinking, just as he was about to push his way through your group of friends and leave the party, you chose to shout--

“Hi, Yeonjun!”

You wanted to die. 

He stopped, and turned to glance at you with furrowed eyebrows. Maybe Beomgyu was right. You felt your stomach rumble as his eyes met your own, and for a second you thought you might actually throw up on him. Oh, this was bad, this was so bad, how could you be so stupid?! You regretted every single thing that had led you to this moment, all the way back to the first time Beomgyu had introduced you to Yeonjun. 

“Um, hi, Y/N…” He spoke slowly, and you watched in shock as he raised his hand and gave you a small wave. “Bye, Y/N.” 

You stood, completely dumbfounded, and watched as he disappeared out of the house. Everyone turned to look at you in silence, and you could practically feel their laughter starting to bubble in their throats. You couldn’t believe yourself. You had finally managed to speak up to him, and you had said something so incredibly, horribly stupid, and he would probably think you were a freak forever. 

Beomgyu was the first to speak, his voice wavering as he tried to hold in a laugh. “Y/N, that was…” 

“Fucking awful!” Heeseung finished for him, the annoying laughter bursting out of him. You couldn’t even defend yourself as the three guys began to cackle loudly like a pack of hyenas, instead standing there in silence while Sieun rubbed your arm in an attempt to cheer you up. 

“He probably just thought you were being funny! It wasn’t that bad!” She tried to assure you, but the tone of her voice wasn’t very convincing. 

“I think… I think I’m going to go get a drink.” You said with a defeated sigh, which made Sieun frown. 

“Are you sure? I thought you weren’t going to drink tonight… You know, keeping your guard up or whatever…” She mumbled the last part, and flicked her eyebrows up. You knew exactly what she was talking about. Normally, you didn’t like to drink at parties, just because you never knew when your Ladybug duties would call and you did not want to be drunk fighting a supervillain. 

“Just one.” You assured her, and gave her a weak smile. “If I don’t get at least some alcohol in my system, I might have to die, because that was the worst thing I’ve ever done.” You gave her a thumbs up. 

As you began to walk away, you heard Heeseung, Jeongin and Beomgyu continue to howl with laughter, and then you heard their howls turn into those of pain as Sieun started attacking and yelling at them for bullying you. A part of you also wanted to beat them up, but you also couldn’t blame them. If it were any one of them who had done that, you would probably have the same reaction. 

You pushed your way into the kitchen you had seen Yeonjun exiting earlier, praying that you would find something to drink in there. Luckily, there were some drinks out for the taking, but unluckily, there was also Yeonjun’s best friend, Choi Soobin. 

“Y/N I’m surprised to see you!” He greeted you with a wide smile, the all too familiar dimple appearing in his cheek. “Yeonjun just left. I’m so sorry.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, picking out an unopened can of beer and leaning back against the counter. Soobin had caught onto your crush very early, although you weren’t sure how, since you were always so subtle about it. You figured he was just really smart or something. “Don’t worry. I already saw him. And said something stupid.” You replied glumly, snapping back the top of your can and bringing it to your lips.

“Hey, that means you at least talked to him at all, right?” He asked you, nudging your arm with his elbow. “You know, you should try to talk to him more. He thinks you hate him.”

You nearly choked on your drink. Thank god you didn’t, because you did not want to choke for a second time that night. “He thinks I hate him?! Why would he think that?! What did Beomgyu say to him?!”

“Nothing, nothing, he’s just a dumbass who can’t figure out why you avoid him and assumes it’s because you hate him.” He shrugged in response, which made you frown. 

He thought you hated him? You didn’t want that! How was he ever supposed to fall in love with you if he thought you hated him?! Soobin was probably right, and you just needed to start talking to him more often, but how were you supposed to do that if you were barely able to breathe around him? It was an impossible situation! Or maybe you were just dramatic. 

“Maybe I should just fake my death and leave a letter professing my love. Then, he at least will know I didn’t hate him, but then I don’t have to stay around and see his reaction.” You mumbled, which made Soobin let out a giggle from beside you. Never had you heard Soobin giggle before, though that wasn’t very surprising, since you didn’t see him much outside of your classes. “Dude, are you drunk already?”

“Just a little.” He pinched his fingers together, and now it was your turn to giggle at him.

“Yo-o-o, Soobin!” There was a loud shout, and you turned to see that some blue haired man you had never seen before had entered the kitchen. His eyes quickly found your own, and a grin spread across his face. “You didn’t tell me you brought a girl. Who’s this?”

Soobin quickly shook his head, scooting away from you. “I didn’t bring her. She’s one of Beomgyu’s friends.” He informed the guy, who was still eyeing you with a soft grin. “Y/N, this is Mark. Mark, this is Y/N.”

Ohhhh. So that was Mark. He wasn’t quite what you’d imagined him to look like, then again, you weren’t sure what you had been imagining. He was cute, though, with his icy blue hair and dumb smile that reminded you of a golden retriever. Not as cute as Yeonjun, though!, you thought. Still, you gave him a small wave. 

“Nice to meet you Y/N.” He replied, returning your wave. “Yo, that beer is kind of ass, you want me to grab you something better--?”

“Y/N!” For what felt like the one millionth time, your conversation was interrupted, and this time it was by Jeongin flying into the room to duck behind the counter. “You have to help me! I think Sieun is trying to murder me!” He yelped. You glanced back down at him, and then over at Mark, who was watching the exchange with an amused smile. 

You gave him an apologetic look, before returning your attention to Jeongin. “Why is she trying to kill you?” 

“I, um, may have, um, called her… Short…” He whispered. 

“Damn. That’ll do it.” Soobin spoke up. “Goodbye, Beomgyu’s friend. It was nice knowing you.” He tilted his can at Jeongin, who let out a long whine. 

“Y/N, please! You have to help me!” He was practically begging, reaching up to grab ahold of your hands, and giving you those big puppy dog eyes that reminded you of the tapioca pearls you’d find at the bottom of your boba tea. You really didn’t want to deal with your friends and their childish antics, but you also knew Jeongin wasn’t going to let up until you helped him. 

“Personally, I think I should let her kill you, because you know not to say that…” You started, and his bottom lip started to tremble. “...but fine. I will help you. Let’s go.” 

He jumped up, a cute grin spreading across his face. “Thank you, Y/N! Sorry for laughing at you for embarrassing yourself in front of Yeonjun!”

Your face burned at the reminder, and you chose not to respond, instead shooing him out of the kitchen. “Um, it was nice to meet you, Mark! And I’ll see you next week, Soobin!” You gave them both small nods as a goodbye, and were about to follow Jeongin out into the party before you were stopped.

You glanced over to see that it was Mark who had tapped your shoulder, and was now awkwardly rubbing his neck. “Wait, um, if it’s not too weird, before you go…” He paused, and looked up to meet your eyes.

“Can I get your number?”

author's note: hopefully this posts right this time and doesn't delete paragraphs again lol! theres more i was going to say but i'm still bitter abt how hard this was to get published <3 another update later today

tag list: @therealhyunjingf @jakeshands @impureperhaps @mazeinthemoon @tyunlatte @loveliii @exohclipse @17szn @txtbrainrot @bubblytaetae @qluvrv @serafilms @luvlyjay @iirene304 @snowfalltxt @choistick @lost-leopard-beanie @taekwondoes @captivq @aestheticsluut @surshica @suburbiataehyung @cecedrake2217 @omiomipepperoni @ttyunz @stellz581 @dearkamal @cher-bears @hochipochi @eggomi @rikismiel @vianna99 @certainyouthpeanut @cookiehaos @90sni-ki @http-gyu @iad0ru @viagumi @reverbtunes @fatoompie @ka143 @sserafimez @cathaerin @ahnneyong @cutiespaghetti @wonioml @emohazuzworld @taylvvrr @cowsmicwu

spots on!

TEN / a chance

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warnings: none afaik

authors note: beomgyu feeding y/n’s delusions bc he enjoys the chaos yup! y/n jealous of ladybug real btw 🥺

tag list: @therealhyunjingf @jakeshands @impureperhaps @mazeinthemoon @tyunlatte @loveliii @ningswings222 @exohclipse @17szn @txtbrainrot @bubblytaetae @qluvrv @serafilms @luvlyjay @iirene304 @snowfalltxt @choistick @lost-leopard-beanie @taekwondoes @captivq @aestheticsluut @surshica @suburbiataehyung @cecedrake2217 @omiomipepperoni @ttyunz @stellz581 @dearkamal @cher-bears @hochipochi @eggomi @rikismiel @vianna99 @certainyouthpeanut @cookiehaos @90sni-ki @http-gyu @iad0ru @viagumi @reverbtunes @fatoompie @ka143 @sserafimez @cathaerin @ahnneyong @cutiespaghetti @wonioml @emohazuzworld @taylvvrr @cowsmicwu

⌕ TAKE TWO ━━ 23 : leaving for good

PRECIS. while riki constantly assured you that him being an idol under a different label wouldn't be an issue in your relationship, you start getting second thoughts when fans start shipping him with his co-mc at music bank.

w : angst but r we surprised ( 2.03k )

note : haha guys enjoy !!!!

“are you breaking up with me?” riki’s words are laced with confusion and disbelief. you both were getting better, you talked— sure, a few loose ends were left untouched. there were questions yet to be answered, but nothing quite led his assumptions to this conclusion, even in the worst scenarios. “answer me, yn,” 

“you asked if i could give you another chance and i did that. now, i don’t think i have any more chances to spare,” and what else were you supposed to say? that you feel guilty for hiding the truth, or that you can’t even bring yourself to give him the actual reason why you’re breaking up? the only reason why you wanted to have the first say in whatever you both were to discuss was because you didn’t trust yourself. “i think we’re better off without each other,” 

because you came here to tell him everything and perhaps, make him feel less guilty about himself and his actions, but now you don’t know where all the determination went the moment riki took the lead. 

“this doesn’t make sense,” you hear him murmur under his breath, a deep sigh escaping his lips. “is it because i didn’t explain things to you sooner?”

“it’s not about you,”

“we can make amends,” and it pains you to see hope in his eyes. 

“riki, this isn’t about you and no, we can’t ma—”

he takes a sharp breath. “well, then tell me what it’s abo—”

“i kissed jungwon,” a pause, a short session of silence follows. you don’t quite understand the depth of your words until you’ve already said it. “i don’t know how or why it happened. we were just talking, he confessed, and i kissed him. i can’t even sort out my own feelings and this is unfair to you.” and you’re just waiting for him to say something before you lose composure.“we should break up,” 

you did plan on telling him, really, in all honesty. that was the plan, the reason why you decided to meet him again, but once again, when have plans ever worked in your favour? he deserved to know the whole story, just not like this, not when you both are in the middle of a probable breakup with your relationship hanging by a string. this discussion wasn’t even planned because you thought riki wouldn’t question your decisions or the break up. in fact, you expected him to anticipate the same. you didn’t want to keep things from him, not after what happened, you just didn’t know how to put everything in words until it fell off your mouth like wind in jet streams. 

but you are here either way, sitting in front of him, fiddling with your fingers, mind blank, silence stinging like poisoned darts. you’re not expecting anything, not after what you’ve done, but you want him to say something— anything. you want him to yell at you, call you a cheating lying bitch, curse you out, anything but silence. yet still, riki keeps his mouth shut. his eyes widened for a brief second, you guess that he wants to speak, but words never leave his mouth, and when they do, you feel like the ground has shifted below your feet. 

“i had feelings for miya,” it takes you a second to realise that you both were finally playing the truth game, stripping each other off the facades. “it doesn’t make sense. she was annoying, she wanted to hang out all the time. she was demanding. but, i started liking those demands, y’know? it was fun, i liked having someone to hang out with while you weren’t there, made me feel less lonely, to put it straight. and then things escalated, i wanted to see her more. maybe that’s why i got mad whenever you’d bring her up. i was scared you’d find out, but now that i know the kind of person she is, i’ve lost a friend, and i’m close to losing you,” 

now, the silence is on your side. 

you’re not holding back any tears, your hands aren’t shaking, you’re not in disbelief or feeling utter betrayal. you’re not heartbroken to the point from where, there’s no recovery. if anything, you’ve come to terms with reality. despite the fear and insecurities, a part of you has always been aware of whatever was going on between him and miya. romantic or not, it didn’t matter. you simply knew she was one of his very first priorities, probably even before you. right now, it’s not his words that hurt you the most, but rather, they make you question the very basis of your relationship. how many times did he ignore you for her? was there a time when you weren’t his first priority? 

how many times did riki say i love you to you and it was meant for someone else? 

“would i have dated her if you had never found out? probably, and that makes the two of us equal,” and his words now give you the answers to your questions, sort of. 

probably more than you can count on your fingers. 

“no, it does not,” you argue back, voice a little louder, turning heads in your direction as you pause before speaking at a much lower amplitude. “i kissed jungwon,” 

but, he never cheated on you, did he? 

“it was a mistake,” riki says softly, lips pressed together between words. “you were scared, you were having a hard time, and people tend to accept every ounce of affection in hard times. you’re owing up to your mistakes, i did the same. i think we’ll be fine,” at this point, it’s not you who he’s trying to convince, but himself. his heart that is beating at an enormous rate, every pump of blood that feels like a knife twisting in his chest, every breath that threatens to collapse his lungs, he’s telling his mind that the pain will be over, that there’s still a chance. 

but riki doesn’t know where he stands, where you both stand. the damage was done, he is aware of all the tears and night it had cost. your decision is probably right, breaking up would be the best. sunghoon has been telling him to take some time off, he’s exhausted, he needs a break, but is it really easy to drop your first love and pretend nothing ever happened? to ignore everything you two had, to forget all the firsts and all the promises about being each other lasts, to discard the polaroids in his dorms that take him back to the moment they were taken, is it really as simple as it sounds, or is moving on a luxury only for people in movies and novels? 

“can you just get mad at me? i don’t know, curse me out, yell at me, say you never want to see me again,” you’re knee-deep in desperation. your veins are no longer carrying blood, it’s the guilt oozing out of your heart. “please, make this easy for me,” 

and even at this point, even when you’re the villain in your own story, when the pain he’s feeling is probably multiple folds severe than yours, when the scars you gave him in return are much deeper than the cuts he left you, you’re still begging him for mercy, to let you go because it makes things easier for you. 

“is it necessary?” his voice is tender, sadness pooling in his eyes. “we came clean. so, what’s the point of hurting ourselves, yn?” 

“and if we get back together, can i count on you?” it’s not a question for him. more or less, they’re the words you’ve been asking yourself over and over again, and when you can't find the answers, you direct them to him. “what are the chances that this will not happen again? how sure are you about your feelings for me? how are you sure that what you’re feeling is for me and not for someone else? what are the chances that you will not fall for someone else while claiming to be in love with me, and what are the chances that i won’t kiss jungwon again?” 

loving was never supposed to be easy. you were young, you kissed under the street lights, you held hands on your way back home, you drank from the same cup, that was love for you and riki when you started dating, where the thoughts about breakups and moving on didn’t even cross your minds. but you grow, the problems you face are no longer about not being able to text and bid a sweet goodnight, and most importantly, sometimes the solution isn’t to kiss and make up. 

if you’re being honest, loving was never for you. you had your own demons, he had his own issues. ‘tell me your problems and i’ll make them mine,’ only sounds good in fiction. in real life, when you’re sitting in front of the love of your life while talking about breaking up, nothing haunts you more than what has been caving inside your mind. at that moment, every single weakness surfaces and suddenly, you no longer think about how the other person is feeling. you kissed jungwon because you were in pain, you didn’t think about the effect it would have on riki or jungwon himself. riki turned to miya because you were absent, not knowing the depths of his actions and the harm it could potentially cause. 

so, at the end of the day, loving was never meant for the two of you, at least not now. the only thing written in your fates was leaving for good.   

“you’re right, we could get back and pretend none of this ever happened. but, riki, i can’t even look you in the eyes,” it’s true, to some extent, yes. you’re sitting here, you’re talking, you’re still in love, not sure with whom, it isn’t any different for him either. forgetting everything that happened would be easier, but you’re not sure how long you two will last. “ask yourself again, do you want this relationship because you still love me, or do you want it because you want to save yourself from heartbreak?” 

“we’re breaking up for good, aren’t we?” you notice the corner of his lips perk up, an ironic smile settling on his face, because who even breaks up for good? all those movies about leaving because you love the person and want them to be happy never made sense to riki. 

what’s so happy about breakups, anyway? 

“it’s the best for us,” you nod, after all, it’s the best for you two, right?  

and yet, it’s not in the best interest of you two. he wants to stay, you want to leave, the ‘good’ part of breakup, he doesn’t see it. riki never understood the hypothesis behind the good breakups and the breakups that happened while two people were still in love. you don’t throw away a cake even when you’re hungry, he thinks it’s the same logic. to leave the person you love the most for ‘better’, to spend days and nights and afternoons thinking about them and torturing yourself over and over, to drown in endless yearning and the lingering memories— he’d rather have it the other way. 

if you’re the sun, riki wants you to burn him, if you're the moon, he wants you to freeze him cold. love, for riki, is not something that puts him to bed but rather, it’s something that takes away his sleep every night. so, leaving for good doesn’t make sense to him, for he simply wants you back, in any way, any form. even if you return to him as a ghost, it’s fine, he wants you to haunt him forever. 

a theatrical confession, he doesn’t say it out loud. it would be stupid, but you seem to know what he’s thinking, the tears brimming your eyes tell him that. 

“this is probably going to sound stupid, but i want to ask you just one question,” you hold your breathe. “in future, if you find yourself in a position to fall in love again,”

“will you fall for me?”  

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‘PICK ME !’

chapter 002 — NO IM A PICK ME NOT HER!

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SYNOPSIS ! in which y/n debuts in the group new jeans and ends up getting the attention of her seniors jungwon and niki, as new jeans and y/n get more attention, y/n starts being considered a it girl ! which leads to a host asking enhypen what new jeans members are their favorites…. “y/n!” they both say in sync.

TAGS ! @oddeonu @ahnneyong @luvdokja @sour-graps @pureaaa @silcry @agustdpeach @shotasdarling @lundabean @wonraeth @love-4-keum @kyanmeai @myjaeyunn @shinsou-rii @tzuyusluv @the-cause-of-my-euphoria @mitsukifilms @adajoemaya @dimplewonie @yangbreads @zhaixiaowen @hori-kori @mylobae @thaaiss89 @kittyeij @sunghoonmybeloved @starcubes @beeomgui @wooniy @boowoowho @italiekim @aquariusskz @kimsabinaskzlover @pluviophilefangirl @laurasseditss @raimbows4u @7myoi @lovehaewon @jilea @wonieleles @jakelux @luhvlyuna @meiiiwa @cosmicwintr @s4turnsl0ver @kwnshi @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @asunova @iamminnie @stopeatread ( if ur not on here u most likely cannot be tagged, you can def dm me if you know why maybe )

NOTE ! no bc imagine just debuting and already being called a pick me and also getting into a dating rumor with one of ur best friends 😭 y/n going through it

‘PICK ME !’

chapter 004 — the apology made by “jungwon”

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TAGS ! (taglist one) @wen-yo @ahnneyong @luvdokja @sour-graps @pureaaa @silcry @agustdpeach @shotasdarling @simp4sim @wonraeth @love-4-keum @kyanmeai @myjaeyunn @shinsou-rii @tzuyusluv @the-cause-of-my-euphoria @mitsukifilms @adajoemaya @dimplewonie @yangbreads @zhaixiaowen @hori-kori @mylobae @thaaiss89 @kittyeij @sunghoonmybeloved @starcubes @beeomgui @wooniy @boowoowho @italiekim @aquariusskz @kimsabinaskzlover @pluviophilefangirl @laurasseditss @raimbows4u @7myoi @lovehaewon @jilea @wonieleles @jakelux @luhvlyuna ( if ur not on here u most likely cannot be tagged, you can def dm me if you know why maybe )

NOTE ! no bc i was going to put the note in this chapter but lowkey felt like ppl wouldn’t be able to read it, anyways check out my sunghoon smau “DOUBLE TAKE”

spots on!

FOURTEEN / im iceland

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warnings: profanity idk

authors note: y/n in her popular era??? yeonjun definitely has no ulterior motives hahahahah

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