Dear, Everyone Weve Met.

Dear, everyone we’ve met.

Perhaps we should start from the beginning.

Dear Mr. Poe, as unhelpful as you were at times, you and your wife were not the worst guardians we could have had. Olaf set the bar pretty low, but you did genuinely care for us, and we thank you. Though, you should still get that cough checked out. Don’t want you to die on us too. Dear Justice Strauss, I know that you are one of the kindest, and most wonderful women I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. And I’m sorry that you couldn’t be our guardian. It just, wasn’t meant to be. I hope you find another set of bright young children to adopt though.  Dear Monty, I’m so, so sorry that we couldn’t save you. I really wished I could have been to Peru with you someday. Maybe get to name that 5 legged gecko. Dear Josephine, you were truly brave and formidable, even in your final moments. I wish I could have seen you back in your glory days though. Dear Larry, your sacrifice was not for nothing. You were a wonderful waiter, and protected us in most all of the restaurants we’ve eaten in. I’ll never forget you and your bravery, or your burrito that Carmelita outright stole. Dear Phil, It’s nice to know that your leg got better. Even if your other one got eaten by a shark. I hope you’re living the happiest, and most optimistic life. Dear Charles, you were one of a kind. It wasn’t right for Sir to walk all over you like that, and I’m glad you got out of it. I’m sure you’re much happier with your new partner. Dear Olivia, you were like a beacon in a hurricane, which we just so happened to have been through before. You were with us since that awful school, almost to the end, and I wish your end hadn’t come so soon. You and Jacques would have made a wonderful couple. Dear Jerome, it’s alright that you felt you weren’t brave enough to help us. I don’t blame you at all for wanting to live a safe life, away from all the mess we made. I hope you were just as happy with your new partner as well. Dear Jacques, I’m sorry we couldn’t save you. We’d only just met, but I wanted so much to help you, and we failed. Both of your siblings loved and remembered you long after your death. Dear Hector, try not to faint off the self sustainable mobile air device. I’d hate to see, or hear about you taking such a nasty fall. And, thank you for taking care of the Quagmires for us, while we were busy with the rest of our story. Dear Hal, I wish we could have formally apologized to you for what we did. We didn’t mean to burn down the library, and we were going to give the keys back. I hope, you were able to start another library, like the one we failed to save. Dear Hugo, Kevin, and Colette, your “freakish” qualities do not make you horrendous, nor do they define you. I hope all of you found a better end than what the show gave you. And Kevin specifically, stop lamenting about being able to use both hands with equal amount of skill as though you’ve lost the use of both. It’s a terrible mindset. Dear Bald Man, I wish I knew your name. You’re a wonderful painter, and I’m glad you and the other henchpeople decided to leave Count Olaf’s employ and find a better lifestyle. Dear Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender, you were wonderful. You stayed behind after Olaf and the others left, and told us that you enjoyed our food. And you even remembered the recipe to the puttanesca sauce. I hope nobody misgendered you, or made you feel worthless. Dear Fernald, I know you probably don’t like being called “Hooky”. I heard from Sunny that, you were one of the kindest people she’d ever met, and I had to believe her. I hope your stepfather wasn’t too angry with you after all that time. Dear Pale Faced Women, I. Wish I could give you two a second chance. You took too many opportunities to delight in the suffering of others. I’m glad you got to find a happy ending, but I’d still appreciate an apology. Dear Fiona, I hope you found your father. And I hope that, you helped all those Snow Scouts out of that dreadful situation. And, I hope you and your brother found your own happy ending. Dear Dewey, you know it was an accident. I’m, still sorry that we dropped the gun. Know that, everything turned out fine, and the library was still safe. Dear Kit, your daughter grew up into an amazing girl. She had the Snicket spunk, and the mind of a Denouement. I wish she could have seen both of her parents. They were such amazing people. And, last but not least..

Dear Count Olaf. You chased us, all across the map, and caught us no matter where we went. You killed, either personally or offhandedly, and deceived your way place after place, hunting us down for our fortune. You went after our loved ones, new and old. You’ve, made me so terrified, it left me with lasting effects. And, even after all that... I feel bad for you. Not just a pity party, with “Get Well Soon” streamers and a big slice of apology cake. You could have been a decent person. Certain things just, conspired against you, and helped you turn out the way you did. Maybe if things had gone much differently way back then, we would have been proud to call you Uncle Olaf. Maybe we could have been proud to have uncles and aunts in every corner of the map, instead of dealing with the after effects of the adult temper tantrum we like to call the schism. I hope you’re genuinely happy, wherever you are, and that the world has stopped hurting you.

The world is quiet here. Especially without all of you.

From, Klaus Baudelaire.

aesthetics for a Big Daddy and his Little Sister. the first one is more personal. credit for the top middle art in the first aesthetic goes to @/howlsnteeth

Dear Trizza

All of us have gotten together to write you one big "thank you" note, and we're going to separate each of messages down here, for your convenience.

thank you, for those long days of no sleep, researching all the bullshit you hid frommmm the rest of the wwwworld, causing mmmme to lose both mmmmy mmmmatesprit and mmmmoirail

||| Thank you, for getting off your lazy ass and sending the drones after the rebellion, culling anyone who so much as looked suspicious, and possibly capturing or even killing me and my matesprit's moirails. |||

♠️ Thank you, for reinforcing the social construct of a hierarchy that is the hemospectrum, inadvertently causing me guilt over my blood color, and guilt over feeling guilty for that too. ♠️

thank you; for the paranoia and fear; the worry that everyone = out to get me; keeping me in fear and in hiding;

And, thank you. For helping me see, that what we- what Alternia really needs, is a Fucking revolution. Thank you, For spurring on the rebellion with your propaganda, your memes. For only Fueling the Fire when you sent your drones to cull entire blocks oF hives, leaving many a troll hiveless, hopeless. Thank you, For waking me up to the state oF our planet, and giving me something to Fight For.

Oh, sorry. Did I say thank you? What we meant was Fuck you.

From, respectively, Tyzias, Azdaja, Zebruh, Mallek, and Dammek.

When you kinfirm a character that you lowkey don’t like

Dear 'Valentine',

Still not sure if that was your name or not, but. I'll figure it out. I just wanted to say that, I love you, with all my aching heart and soul. I miss you, every time I think of you. I can't help but still feel guilty for what happened, and I can't remember if I got you back at the end, but I know I would have tried, and kept trying until I ripped a hole in the space time continuum to be with you, one way or another. I hope you still love me, wherever you are.

Yours for a lifetime, ❎

that moment when a porn blog likes an angry kin post about sexual assault.