lees-chaotic-brain - lee's chaotic brain
lee's chaotic brain

18𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒊'𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒔

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I Want To Give Megumi A Promise Ring!

i want to give megumi a promise ring!

I Want To Give Megumi A Promise Ring!

You give Megumi a promise ring

WC: 1.4K

CW: fluff, implied past suicidal ideation, not beta-read, mentions of past depression

Taglist: @ponderingmoonlight @kasumitenbaz @meguemii (i just tag you two in anything megumi related lol)

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I Want To Give Megumi A Promise Ring!

Crystalline flakes of fluffy snow drifted lazily outside your window as you watched. The fabric of your boyfriend's hoodie was soft against your cheek as you snuggled further into his side, stealing more of his delicious body heat.

After glancing at you to make sure everything was okay, Megumi returned to his book, his arm tightening around you ever so slightly. It was at moments like this, when you were spending quality time with your boyfriend and quiet contentment blanketed the air that you felt most at peace. There was no fear to pollute your bodies and choke the air from your lungs. Instead, your lives were rather like the snow falling in sheets outside; serene and comforting.

Contemplating the understated joy of the moment, you realized it was the perfect opportunity to give Megumi the gift you had bought him. Fidgeting with the box in your hoodie pocket, you debated whether or not it was wise to give him such a bold gift. After all, you had only been dating for a little over a year. What if you scared him away? What if he didn’t consider you an irreplaceable part of his future, the way you did him?

Your hesitation as your insecurities nagged at you did not go unnoticed by your boyfriend. Marking his page with a bookmark, he closed his book and set it aside, tenderly kissing your cheek to get your attention.

“Is something the matter, love?” His low, soft voice drew you out of your worries and back into the present.

“No, uh, it’s nothing!” You spoke a bit too hastily, and Megumi raised his eyebrows at you, silently encouraging you to continue. The look on his face telling you he wanted you to just spit it out already. “It’s just, well, I got you something, but I wasn’t sure if you’d like it, or even want it.”

“Let me see it.” He extended a single palm, then sighed, clearly sensing your reluctance. “Whatever it is, I promise I’ll love it, because, er, well, you got it for me so…”

Trailing off, he averted his gaze, his cheeks glowing light pink with embarrassment. Your fears somewhat assuaged, you reached into your pocket, then paused and withdrew your hand without retrieving the small velvet box.

“Look, if you don’t want it, or if it makes you uncomfortable in any way whatsoever, I completely understand. I won’t be offended in the least. I was just thinking about the future, then I saw an ad for them online and got one without thinking-”

“Just hand it over.” He cut off your rambling, slender fingers nimbly snaking their way under the blanket and into your pocket, grabbing the small navy blue jewelry box.

The dark blue velvet was slightly rumpled from you toying with the box, patches of deeper blue showing where your anxiety had brushed the short strands in the wrong direction. Megumi had yet to say anything, and his silence was killing you. While you normally appreciated your boyfriend's calm, inscrutable demeanor, and were totally into the whole moody and mysterious vibe he had going, it was at times like this that you wished he was a little bit better at expressing his emotions. Several seconds passed without a word, and finally you were unable to take it any longer.

“It’s fine! I can just return it-”

“Are you proposing to me-”

You both spoke at the same time, cutting each other off as you made a wild grab for the box. But just before your fingers brushed it, Megumi yanked it out of your reach and clutched it to his chest. You both froze, staring at each other as you processed what the other had said.

“No! I mean-”

“Did you just-”

The two of you spoke over each other again, but this time you motioned for Megumi to go first, firmly clamping your mouth shut.

“Did you just propose to me, offer to return the ring, then attempt to snatch the ring back from me?” His tone was laced with disbelief, and he looked mildly affronted as he grasped the box to his chest as if he was afraid you were going to try to take it back any second. Well, at least that was a good sign. It at least showed that he was interested in the ring.

“No? Well kind of I guess. First of all I was only going to take it back if you didn’t want it, and second of all we’re obviously too young to get married now. That being said though…” You look down, fidgeting with your fingers. “Well, uh, it’s a promise ring, because although we’re too young now, when I look at you I see my future and I want to marry you one day. So uh, I’m not proposing, but-you know what? Just open it. I’ll stop talking now.”

With your permission, he gripped the top of the box and pulled the top up, revealing the ring. It was a simple silver band of medium width and thickness, not unlike the one Yuuta wore on a chain around his neck. It had no visible embellishments, appearing to be like any other ring, and in a lot of ways it was. But the words engraved on the inside of the ring made it special to the two of you.

Forever my reason to live, -Y/N

The five words might stand out to anyone else, and may even be perceived as cheesy by others. But for the two of you those five words were everything. And, sure enough, when he noticed and read the inscription, Megumi’s eyes softened, filled with emotion. Back when the war was still ongoing, the two of you had both lost too many, and experienced far too much. At that point, it was easy for the lazy tendrils of depression to take root in your minds, making surviving feel like a chore neither of you wished to complete.

But somewhere in the midst of the violence and death, the two of you found each other, seeking solace in each other's arms. Slowly, your relationship evolved, and at some point after you stopped living for yourselves, you began living for each other. It became a ritual of sorts to remind each other that they were needed, that they were the reason the other kept going. They were the other’s reason to live. For as long as the two of you survived, so too did hope and love.

Then during the aftermath as you tried to heal and cope with the trauma, the words became a reminder that you had survived. That both of you would continue living, continue moving forwards. To say those words held a deep meaning to the two of you would be an understatement. Those words made up the new foundation you built upon the wreckage from the war. They called up the stubborn seeds of hope, encouraging them to grow, twisting through the cracks in your shared depression and trauma. They allowed those seeds to turn to sprouts, and eventually bloom, filling your lives with hope and illuminating a way forward.

When Megumi looked up, his deep green eyes meeting yours, you can see his emotions swirling in the tears that clung to his waterline, your own tears escaping to slip down your cheeks. Smiling softly at him, he smiles back, and you know he understands everything you are thinking and feeling without having to say a single word.

“Are you sure?” He searches your face for any sign of reluctance or hesitation. “You want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

The quiet wonder and hope on his face nearly breaks you as you gently extract the box from his grasp and remove the ring from its padded bed. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” You reply with confidence, extending one hand towards him in a silent invitation.

He accepts, placing his left hand in yours, and watches as you slide the ring onto his finger. Intertwining his fingers with yours, the two of you quietly admire the ring on his finger while his mind fills with images of a big diamond on yours.

Overcome with love and affection, he leans down and captures your mouth in a gentle kiss. His free hand comes up gingerly, cupping the side of your face, holding you with near reverence. After all, you were the most precious thing he had.

You were his everything; the love of his life, his hope, and his future all bundled into one human being.

You were his reason to live.

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More Posts from Lees-chaotic-brain

10 months ago

this is for your event 🗣️🗣️

here me out.. gojo fic abt the song tell your girlfriend by lay banks. something like having a crush on gojo and he likes reader too but reader and gojo are with other people. idc who readers boyfriend is🫣

This Is For Your Event

WC: 1.7k

CW: alcohol consumption (all characters of age), swearing, cheating (see above ask for details), female pronouns (reader referred to as girlfriend), not beta read AT ALL, reader is a bit of a crybaby lol

Note: thanks for sending an ask in emi!!! also, this song is fire i was literally jamming the entire time i was writing. also, sorry if you wanted this to be more true to the vibe of the song. i kind of interpreted it my own way and rolled with it lmao

listen to this while reading

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This Is For Your Event

You loved your boyfriend, right? You had only been dating four months, but you wouldn’t have dated someone if you didn’t have feelings for him. Sure, he could be a little aloof, and a little rude, but he had his moments when he was sweet and caring. So why did you find yourself thinking of someone else?

During the day when the sun was out and you were thinking rationally you could convince yourself that you truly cared for him, but at night under the low lighting of the bar all bets were off. When you were a few shots past tipsy and your thinking was slowed, why did another face keep coming to mind.? 

Initially, I wouldn't do this

Hennessy pourin' and shit gettin' fluid

And you never intended to cheat. And you definitely never intended to fall for your best friend who was also dating someone else. But when you spent time with him, or when he shot a flirtatious wink from across the room he ignited a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. A swarm of butterflies that went into hibernation when you were around your boyfriend.

You knew it was wrong, that you shouldn’t feel the way you did, but with the heavy beat of the bass coursing through you and cognac warming your insides your traitorous heart finally decided what it was Gojo Satoru made you feel. Desire. And…love. Oh shit, that wasn’t good.

Suddenly feeling a bit ill, you waved your concerned friend off and staggered outside to get some fresh air. Taking deep gulps of fresh air, you stepped into an alley to get some privacy so you could collect your thoughts. You wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to ward off the chill of the night seeping through the thin fabric of your clothes.

As you stand there shivering, your thoughts are interrupted by a warm jacket being wrapped around your shoulders. Spinning around, you find yourself face to face with the one person you absolutely did not want to see at the moment. Confronted by the appearance of your best friend, you can’t help but start crying. It’s stupid, you know, but as soon as you lay eyes on him the shock of your realization wears off and your emotions kick in.

“Oh my god, hey, are you okay?” He panics, grabbing your shoulders and peering into your face concerned. “Why are you crying? What’s wrong??”

His care only serves to make you cry harder. Why? Why did he have to be like this? Couldn’t he just be a bad friend and ignore you? It would be so much easier that way. Unsure what to do, he pulls you into a hug, patting you on the back.

“Hey. It’s okay. I got you. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” You can't take it anymore. You both are dating other people, and you are definitely finding too much comfort in his arms. Pushing him away, you avert your gaze.

“You, okay? You’re my problem. Can you just leave me alone please?”

His brow furrows. “What do you mean ‘me?’ Did I do something? Also, I’m not leaving you outside by yourself at this time of night. Please, can’t you just talk to me? Whatever I did I-”

“I just realized I’m in love with you, okay?!” Your voice rings out in the stillness of the alley, and you clap your hands over your mouth, horrified. “Wait, I-”

You’re cut off by him gently taking your face in his hands and slotting his lips against yours. The kiss is soft and sweet; filled with years of longing and suppressed feelings pouring from each of you. It feels like home. It feels like love. It feels right, but you know it isn’t. Pushing him back, you stare at him wide-eyed, your chest rising and falling with rapid breaths.

“What…what was that?”

We was just friends, but then came in Cupid

The tension was buildin', we had to pursue it

“I like you too.” He blurts in lieu of answering your question. Then he pauses and corrects himself. “Actually I’m in love with you. I have been for a while. I just didn’t think you felt the same.”

Unsure of what to do or say, you just start laughing, because the two of you were idiots. You were best friends who supposedly knew everything about each other. Except for the fact that you were each in love with the other, apparently. Oh my god you were in love with your best friend and he was in love with you. Your laughter became tinged with hysteria as you remembered that you had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. 

Tears filled your waterline. “Oh my god Toru what are we doing? I have a boyfriend!! And you have a girlfriend! We can’t be doing this…”

“Why not?” He gently cups your face in his palms and brushes your tears away with his thumbs. “Break up with your boyfriend. Be with me. My girlfriend isn’t a problem. She’s known about my feelings for you from the start. She’s in love with someone else too and we’ve just been using each other as a distraction. There’s nothing in our way.”

Standing in that alley with his vivid blue eyes on yours, you couldn’t help but believe him. What if he was right. What if the two of you really were meant to be?”

What it's been with us this whole time

Taking a deep breath, you step back, and out of his reach. If you were going to think about this rationally, you couldn’t be so close to him. You push your hair back out of your eyes and tilt your head back. He watches you from where he is, knowing that you need space to sort out your emotions and thoughts. After a few minutes you turn back to him.

“Alright. The first thing I’m going to do is break up with my boyfriend and apologize. After that, I’m not sure. I don’t want to make you any promises, because I’m not really sure of anything. The only thing I know is that I won’t be able to live with myself if I don't break up with him, because he doesn’t deserve to be hurt or deceived. Okay?”

“That’s fine.” Satoru says simply, looking at you with so much affection it hurts. “I’ve waited for you so long, a little while longer isn’t going to do me any harm.”

Your eyes soften. “Thanks. Now, I’m going to head back in, okay?” He steps aside, allowing you to pass. Heading back into the party, you feel nauseous, but you head up to your boyfriend.

Because if you ever want to be with Satoru, your relationship can’t start with deception.

'Cause I don't wanna live a lie, lie, lie

An hour and one extremely difficult conversation later found you sitting on a park bench with your head in your hands crying. Surprisingly, your now ex-boyfriend had been very understanding and kind about it. While he was clearly hurt and holding back tears, he had told you that he just wanted you to be happy, and that he was okay with it.

After reassuring you that he wasn’t angry, he hugged you one last time, wished you well, and walked away. Unable to stop crying, you were overwhelmed by a sense of relief, but at the same time guilt. So you had told your boyfriend. What now?

Should tell my boyfriend what I been doin'

The weeks after your breakup were tough. You told Satoru you needed time to yourself, because even though you logically knew that you shouldn’t feel bad, you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. You felt like if you started dating him now, it would be unfair to your ex, and that you should at least wait a little while.

You also discussed the matter of his girlfriend, and decided that it was okay for him to remain with her until you were ready, as the two of them were friends and he was helping her make her crush jealous. You didn’t mind him helping her, especially since you were making him wait and overcomplicating things.

You told Gojo as much, and decided that for the time being the two of you would remain friends until you were ready. You just needed a little time to figure yourself out. But you knew that you wanted to be with him. Just not right that second.

Took a break, had to focus on some me time

We can keep it low-key for the meantime

A couple months passed, and you went on with your life. Everything was normal, and you tried to push your thought of Satoru away, preferring to procrastinate on talking to him as long as possible. 

Until one night, when you were cleaning your room and found a box of photos from your high school days with him. Going through them, you felt a sense of nostalgia, and affection. And suddenly you missed him. You missed him so bad it hurt. You needed him by your side, and you needed him as more than a friend.

Hit by this revelation, you sat there for a moment, stunned, before leaping up and grabbing your car keys. Driving well above the speed limit, you rushed to his house and banged on his door. Was it sometime after midnight? Yes. Did you really care? No.

You heard his groggy voice say something about waiting one moment, then the door swung open. And there he stood, right in front of you in all his sleepy glory. But as soon as his eyes landed on you they widened and all traces of sleep disappeared from them.

“[Y/N]! What are you doing here? It’s-” You interrupt him, tears already pouring down your face as you beam up at him.

“I love you. I’m ready to be your girlfriend now.”

Go tell your girlfriend that I'm your girlfriend (oh, oh)


Tags :
10 months ago

blond o sonic shimmer trap by the arctic monkeys, geto, any sort you want, curious to see how you interpret the lyrics if you do pick my ask :3

Blond O Sonic Shimmer Trap By The Arctic Monkeys, Geto, Any Sort You Want, Curious To See How You Interpret

WC: 1.7k

CW: suggestive, reader has female pronouns, reader is a bit unhinged, kinda stalkerish behavior from geto, nothing serious though

Notes: i'll admit i had a bit of trouble with this one, but i also had a lot of fun and liked how it turned out!! thanks for sending this in nonnie!! but let me know what you think of how i interpreted the lyrics!!

listen to this while reading

taglist: @arlerts-angel @ponderingmoonlight (lmk if you want to be added to the event taglist!)

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Blond O Sonic Shimmer Trap By The Arctic Monkeys, Geto, Any Sort You Want, Curious To See How You Interpret

The first time he saw you you were dancing. The sparkling of your black dress had caught his attention, drawing his eyes past the flashing strobe lights and crowd of writhing bodies straight towards you. It was almost like you were calling out to him, telling him to watch.

And so he did. He watched as you twirled and swayed and moved with the music, dancing with wild abandon. Your dancing wasn’t particularly skilled, but there was something so raw, so real, about the way you moved. Something that compelled the viewer to want to get to know you. 

Black as a beacon

In a river of shimmering fog

But Geto Suguru was not known for his forwardness when it came to interacting with women, particularly pretty women. So week after week he returned to watch you dance, always from a distance, never approaching you. In that time, he was only able to learn three things about you.

One: you were always wearing what he came to identify as your signature red lipstick. It was a unique shade, equal parts dark and bright that drew attention to the shape of your mouth. And he paid a lot of attention to your mouth. 

Fighting back his intrusive thoughts and vivid imagination he watched your mouth move as you sang along to songs. He watched the way your lips parted when you threw your head back, exposing the long column of your throat when you were fully immersed in a song. He always watched you, entranced by your spirit.

Two: you went to the club to dance every Friday night. It took him a little while to figure that out, but once he did he made sure he was always free on Friday. 

And finally, three: you were always alone. In the months he had spent watching you, he had never seen someone with you. You arrived alone, and you left alone. You didn’t seem like someone who would be hard pressed for friends, so this oddity only served to pique his interest more.

She was hard to ignore

Yes she was

He didn’t realize how much he had come to depend on his weekly sightings of you until you stopped showing up. For four weeks straight there was no sign of you, and it was unnerving. He immediately jumped to worst case scenarios and feared he would never see you again.

As soon as that thought entered his head, he immediately regretted not approaching you sooner. God he was such an idiot. He should have gotten to know you when he still had the chance, when you still showed up every week, instead of being such a goddamn coward. He promised himself that if he ever did see you again, he wouldn’t let his anxiety get the better of him. Next time he saw you he would say something.

So when he walked in the fifth week of you not being there and spotted you, he made a beeline straight towards where you were dancing, not allowing himself a chance to second-guess himself.

“Excuse me!” He has to shout to get your attention, and he taps you on the shoulder for good measure. You turn, and his breath catches in his chest when your eyes finally meet his. “U-uh hi.”

You squint at him, then your eyes light up in recognition. “It’s you!! Stalker guy! Finally grew some balls and approached me, huh?”

Stalker guy?!? You think he’s been stalking you? Well, technically he was, but he wasn’t trying to be creepy or anything. He just found you intriguing. He opens his mouth to say as much, but you cut him off with a laugh.

“Oh my god, the look on your face!!” You wheeze, folding over with the force of your mirth. Straightening you wipe a tear away and catch your breath. “Don’t worry. I didn’t think you were creepy or anything.”

You lean in, so close he can feel your breath hitting the shell of his ear, causing a full body shudder to run through him. “In fact, I was a little flattered that a man as attractive as you would go out of their way to watch little ol’ me.”

“Come outside with me.” He blurts before he can stop the words from leaving his mouth. Surprised, you jerk back a bit and peer into his face and he can tell your guard was up. “Why…?”

Realizing how it sounded, he immediately backtracked. “No no, I just mean I want to talk! To get to know you. I’ve regretted not getting your number for the last couple of weeks and you seem really interesting and I’m so sorry that is not how I meant it-”

“Okay.” Your simple reply cuts through his flustered rambling. “I’d like to get to know you too.”

And as you take his hand and lead him outside, a thrill runs through him, and he can’t help but wonder if every second with you was going to be this entertaining.

Well, time tastes bland

When she's not around

Stepping out into the cool night air, the two of you stand there for a moment taking in the refreshing feel of the breeze. 

“So.” You glance over your shoulder at him. “I don’t know what you had in mind, but I’m in the mood for a drive. What do you say? I didn’t drink and my car is right over there.” You gesture towards the left, in the direction of a volkswagen beetle. 

“Sure. Sounds good to me.” He smiles at you. He always takes a taxi to the club in case he has a drink, so it’s not like there’s anything keeping him there. “Shall we?”

You grin at him and skip off to your car. His heart skips a beat, and all he can think about is what he has to do to make you grin like that again. He could look at your smile all day. However, his internal simping was cut off by you yelling.

“Motherfucker!” You’re staring at the side of your car, then turn your furious gaze on the Cadillac parked haphazardly next to you. Hurrying over, he looks at what you’re looking at and understands why you’re upset. The car next to you had left a long scratch on the driver’s side of your car when pulling in, and instead of leaving their information, they had left a post-it. A post-it with a cheeky ‘sorry’ scrawled across it hastily.

“Sorry??!” You growl, rage radiating off you. “If you were sorry you would fucking pay for it!!!”

And before he can intervene, you let out a cry of rage and rip the side mirror of the offending car. For a moment all is silent and the two of you just stare at the mirror in your hands. You, with perplexed satisfaction, and him with shock.

Eventually you break the stunned silence. “Well, the asshole had it coming.” His eyes snap up to meet yours and the two of you dissolve into hysterical laughter. 

Yep. Things were never boring when you were around.

And she snapped

Wing mirrors off of Cadillacs

The particularly pretty ones

He can tell you’re up to something when a flash of mischief crosses your face and you unlock your car. He watches with anticipation as you fish your tube of lipstick, a sticky note, and a ballpoint pen out of your glove compartment. 

Quickly, you reapply your lipstick and kiss the mirror, leaving an imprint of your lips on it before balancing it on the windshield of the Cadillac. Then you spin around and write something on the sticky note, not letting him see what it says before slapping it on the car next to the mirror and getting into your own car. Gesturing for him to get in the passenger seat, you wait until he’s in and buckled before peeling out of the lot. 

You glance over at him, and as soon as you make eye contact the two of you are howling with laughter again. Once he calmed down enough to speak, he asked what you wrote on the post it note between gasping peals of laughter.

“Oh, that?” You smirk. “So sorry about your car!! I didn’t want to have to bend down to reapply my lipstick.”

“No you didn’t.” You look at him solemnly. “I did.”

The two of you were sent into yet another fit of laughter, the sound ringing out from your car, filling the cool night air with your joy.

And that

Meant she never had to strain her back

When she was putting her lippy on

While that night had been the first you spent hanging out and driving around aimlessly, it certainly wasn’t the last. There was something addictive about you, from the way you simply didn’t care what others thought, to the sound of your laugh. God, he could spend the rest of his life listening to your laugh.

Throughout the course of the many nights spent causing mischief and laughing he got to see the different sides of you. Sure, he was first interested in you because of how carefree and wild you were, but as he got to know you better, he realized that that was but one facet of your incredibly complex personality. 

You could be mischievous and wild and carefree, sure, but you were also immensely kind, as well as insanely smart and you had a melancholy side at times. But your complexity only added to his growing feelings towards you. 

While it was your wild side that ensnared him at first, it was you as a complicated and messy whole that made him fall in love. And he couldn’t have been happier that you trapped his heart at first sight because if you hadn’t he wouldn’t have met the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

She floats like a niccy rush but she stings like a B-flat

The Blond-o-Sonic Shimmer Trap


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10 months ago

damn i just got sent a juicy dad gojo request from an anon. must control urges. finish event first.

anon if you're reading this i literally had dialogue pop into my head as i read the prompt


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10 months ago

thanks for the tag lovely <3

Get to know me!

Last song: Icarus by Bastille

Favorite color: Purple, or black

Currently watching: Solo Levelling, One Piece (very halfheartedly lmao), AOT (rewatch)

Sweet/savory/spicy: i crave sweet stuff, but i also love savory stuff so both lmao

Relationship status: taken!!

Current obsession: Oikawa with glasses. Don't ask questions. I will not be answering. I need this man viscerally.

Last thing you googled: How to split and rename a body in fusion 360 lmfao bc i completely forgot how to use fusion T_T

people i'd like to get to know better: @sarangkstars @ktsumu @kimkaelyn @gojhoes @omitea @hellkaiserinphoenix @chiinni @highpri3stess @monikadreemurr @pandora-ophelia-blog @ricebunnyarts + whoever wants to join!!!

Thanks for the tag @loneliestluvr 💕

Get to know me!

Last song: Bejeweled, by Taylor Swift

Favorite color: Blue

Currently watching: Outlander, again.

Sweet/savory/spicy: Sweet! 100% Sweet.

Relationship status: In a relationship!

Current obsession: Crescent City. Omg this book series is so good. Too good. 😍 I'm currently on book two.

Last thing you googled: À quelle heure l'éclipse? (At what time is the eclipse)

Some people I'd like to know better too: @prythianpages @sarawritestories @milswrites @readychilledwine @thehighladywrites


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10 months ago

can i be added to the inumaki taglist

of course!!! i love inumaki so much, so i'm so happy to see him getting some love <3


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