Luck (PJM)

Luck (PJM)

Hey guys! Amanda here and I hope you enjoy this imagine. I’m not quite sure about making a ‘set-in-stone’ upload schedule because I do have a job but I am going to make it a goal for myself to upload twice a week. This imagine is a pretty long one but it was super fun to write so I hope you enjoy what I have to offer you. Happy not-so-fun 4th of July and stay safe out there <3

Genre: Fluff, Childhood Friends!Au

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: fluff, kissing, flashbacks

Summary: You’ve always been there for Jimin, supporting him through the majority of both of your lives, and he plans to thank you for it. 

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   Artist of the Year. Quite possibly if not THE most important and valuable award of the night. Important enough to be the very last award given and hold the title of a Daesang. Jimin sat on his cube-shaped seat, Hoseok to his left and Jungkook to his right. The nominees for the award played on the screen as their songs exited the speakers and suffocated the room, mixed with the cheers of each nominees’ fans. BTS were one of those nominees. Alongside Chungha, EXO, Taeyeon, and JANNABI. The tension that surrounded the idols was thick as they all waited patiently, or some, more impatiently, for Park Seo-joon to announce the winner. Jimin was staring at the ground a few meters away with an uneasy look on his face. He knew, along with the rest of BTS, Army, and possibly every other idol and fan in that building, that if they won, they would make history with two Daesang sweeps in a year. Yes, the tension was thick as blood. And while his head should have been present, present and in the game to support the other nominees as they came up on screen - maybe like Jungkook who was bobbing his head to every song - he couldn’t help but stare at the ground and think of one thing, or rather, one person.

   Throughout his six and a half years of being an idol with BTS, Jimin had given many speeches. Many thank you’s and dedications, many promises to the fans. However, tonight, he wanted to dedicate his speech - if they won - to the one person that he hasn’t really thought of giving thanks to, despite them deserving it more than he deserved that award. He slightly smirked at that thought, knowing that the person his mind was clouded with would have responded, “Debatable.” to it. But Jimin was sure of it. And he wanted to thank you in the most special way possible.

   You know those cliche moments when time slows down before a big moment for a character in a movie? That's how Jimin was feeling as the music faded out and the silent tension grew even thicker as they waited for the winner to spill out of Seo-joon’s mouth. Still staring at the ground, Jimin thought of the very, or more the very many reasons as to why he needed to thank you. Because you were always there. Through everything. Ever since you were kids. And for some unknown, ungodly reason, you decided to stick with him through it all instead of leaving like a level-headed person would. And like clockwork, as if his life was flashing before his very eyes, the memories of you two had resurfaced one by one, seeming like forever, but lasting a half of a second each. 

   “Jimin! Come downstairs, please!” Mrs. Park, Jimin’s mother, yelled from the bottom of the stairs. Six year old Jimin came bouncing down the stairs, looking up at his mom. 

   “Yes eomma?”

   “Come with me to greet our new neighbors, lovely.” 

   As they walked over to the new neighbors house, Jimin’s mother carried a welcome basket full of her and her husband’s baked goods while Jimin carried the welcome card. He looked up at his mom and asked, “Do they have a kid like me, eomma?”

   Mrs. Park simply smiled down at him, heartwarmed by his curiosity. “I don’t know, lovely. We have to see.” Jimin nodded at this information with a new look of determination on his face, committed to finding out if he could make a new friend. 

   Finally reaching the front door, Mrs. Park knocked and waited a few seconds. Jimin could hear a faint yelling behind the door, making out something like ‘can you get the door’ and ‘i’ll be there in a second.’ The door had opened revealing a small young girl, looking to be about the same age as Jimin.

   “Hello, sweetie. What’s your name?” Mrs. Park asked, smiling at the young girl.

   The young girl looked up at her before responding, “Y/N..” her eyes flickered to Jimin for a second before looking back to the woman. Jimin’s previous confidence seemed to fade as he  stood behind his mother’s legs, just peeking out behind her.

   Another woman had walked up behind Y/N, dusting off her hands on her jeans, “Hello!”

   “Hello! You must be Y/N’s mother! I’m Mrs. Park and I live next door with my husband and my six year old son, Jimin. Jimin, say hello.” She looked down at him. 

   The shy boy quietly looked at them and managed to give a quick wave while almost-whispering a small “hello.”

   The two women both smiled at his cuteness while Y/N mirrored Jimin behind her own mother’s legs. She looked at him curiously. 

   “We brought you a welcoming basket and card!” Mrs. Park said, handing the basket to her mother. Jimin had shyly handed her the card as well. 

   “Oh thank you! I’m Mrs. Y/L/N and I believe you already met my five year old daughter, Y/N.” She smiled. Mrs. Park smiled and nodded.

   Meanwhile, Y/N was still looking at Jimin. She was staring at his shirt, which had a pirate on it. For the first time since she introduced herself, Y/N had spoken, “I like your shirt…”

   Jimin looked at her to find him looking back at him, and he grinned shyly. “Thanks, I like it too.” 

   Y/N gave him a small smile, “I have a toy pirate set in my bedroom if you wanna go play with me?” she offered shyly, glancing up at her mother. Her mother nodded in encouragement, Mrs. Park softly smiling at the endearing moment. The two ladies shared a mischievous glance.

   Jimin’s eyes lit up as he looked up to his mother, “Please eomma?” he asked, almost begging. Mrs. Park giggled and nodded.

   “Just be home in time for dinner, lovely.” He nodded, smiling at his mother’s words. 

   The memory was a fond one, both Y/N and Jimin’s mothers still tease them to this day about how shy they were back then and how they both were scared that the two kids were going to go off on a ship and pillage the world, over your shared love of pirates. 

   Then, came the next memory. 

   “Jiminie!” Jimin turned his body to the sound of his beloved nickname, bestowed upon him by no other than you. He had declared sometime a few years ago that you were the only one who was allowed to call him that. Twelve year old Y/N came running at him with a big smile gracing her face. “You did it! You won!”

   Jimin smiled back at her, his gold taekwondo medal around his neck. She hugged him tightly, burying her face into his neck. “It’s because you were here. You’re my good luck charm.” He said, hugging her back. 

   She giggled at him, “You’re silly.”

   And although they were joking at the tender age of thirteen and twelve, his words became true. Y/N became his good luck charm, as he seemed to do well everytime she was present for a match or any other competition that Jimin had. So she kept showing up to them in support of him. Jimin could rely on her for those kinds of things, like he could rely on her for anything, leading him to the next memory. 

   You had opened your front door with a smile on your face, before it quickly dropped at the sight of your best friend. A fifteen year old Jimin stood there, soaked from the rain, eyes puffy and red, sniffling with a miserable smile on his face.

   “Hi..” he whispered. You didn’t hesitate to pull him inside from the cold, straight into your arms as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder. “Hana and I broke up..” He said. You somehow seemed to understand. Hana was Jimin’s first girlfriend, and he really liked her. They dated for a couple months so he must have been devastated. You said no words, you just stood there holding him as he let it all out on your shoulder. Your mother had come from the kitchen, a questioning glance on her face. Although he couldn’t see it, you shook your head slightly at her so she knew not to ask any questions.

   “Would you like to stay the night? Dinner is almost ready.” You whispered at him. He let go and looked at you, with a small smile on his face. He nodded as you grinned at him, taking his hand and pulling him towards the dinner table, where you and your mother were cooking dinner together.

   The rest of that night, you and your mom did your best to cheer Jimin up, cracking stupid jokes and dancing terribly to the music playing in the background as you finished cooking dinner. You and your mom always accepted Jimin into your family, just as his family accepted you. Hana was Jimin’s last girlfriend, despite her also being his first. What he didn’t tell you about the breakup though, was that she had tried to make him choose in between you and her out of jealousy. He chose you.

   “I got it.” Jimin said suddenly, breaking the silence that surrounded you both as you watched the sun set from the roof of your house. He was sixteen at the time, meaning you were 15. 

   Your head snapped towards him faster than the speed of light, and he had to hold his breath in order to not laugh at the astonished look on your face. However that look quickly changed into a large smile as you squealed of excitement. “I told you that you would get the scholarship, Jiminie! I’m so proud of you!” you kissed his cheek, making his cheeks turn a slight shade of pink. You giggled at his adorableness before saying, “It was lucky that you were picked, the pool of applicants was hella large. But you deserve it way more than all of those people.” 

   He smirked at you cheekily, “Who said anything about luck? I already had you.” It was your turn to blush this time, smacking him on the shoulder and turning towards the view. He barked out a laugh and put his head on your shoulder in endearment. Slowly, though, his smile fell. “I’m not sure I want to take it though..” He trailed off.

   You glanced at him in curiosity, “Why, JIminie?” You were startled and slightly concerned at this sudden confession. To your knowledge, this had always been his dream.

   He sighed, “I’m not sure how to explain it, really. I just feel like there is more out there for me. Like if I accepted this scholarship then I would be settling for a life in Japan and Busan only. Tied down to a career if you will. I feel like I have the potential to be more, to make more, to leave more of an impact. You know what I mean?” He looked at you, looking for reassurance. To him, he thought he sounded insane. His worries were lessened in seconds though, when you smiled gently at him and placed your hand on top of his, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.

   “Yeah, I know what you mean. Whatever you decide, Jiminie, I’ll still be your good luck charm and support you.” You giggled at him, and his smile grew. He threw his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side as he messed up your hair with his other hand.

   “AH! Jimin!” You yelled, laughing with him.

  You weren’t lying. You did support him. You supported him throughout a lot. You supported him when he decided not to take the scholarship, you supported him when his teachers thought he made a mistake, and you supported him when he told you of his decision to move to Seoul, to seek that opportunity. 

   He saw your smile, big as day to the average bystander, but he has known you for eleven years. He saw how you were hiding your sadness. And that sadness had made up his mind in less than a second.

  “Come with me.” He stated. Your eyes widened and you looked up at him miraculously, as if he was insane. 

  “What?” You laughed out, baffled by his statement.

  He smiled at you and pulled you towards him, “Come with me. To Seoul, I mean.”

  You laughed out, however this time it was more joyful, “Okay.” you smiled. 

  “Okay?” He asked you, smiling even wider. It was an exchange full of smiles and joy. 

  You nodded, giggling at his response, “Okay, lets move to Seoul.”

  You two had gotten a fairly cheap apartment to share for a few months before he found a company called BigHit Entertainment. You were there to urge him to audition, since his shy nature had him doubting himself, making him feel like he wouldn’t make it even if he tried. You were also there to support him outside of his audition when he finally took your advice and went. 

  You both stood outside of the door, his name had just been called. All his nerves had resurfaced and he was tense. He took a quick breath before moving forward to go into the shark pit. 

  “Hey!” You called out, him turning around at the sound of your face. “Good luck, Jiminie.” You smiled at him, crossing your fingers for him.

  “Why need luck when I already have you?” He winked at you, walking backwards. You smiled and shook your head, sitting back down as he turned around walking into the room.

   What seemed like hours passed when in reality it was only a few minutes as you bit your nails, waiting for him to come out of the room. Suddenly the door opened and he walked out. His shoulders were slumped and he had a dull look on his face as he walked towards you. You sighed and took him into your arms.

  “Aw, Jiminie…” You said, attempting to comfort him.

   “Y/n?” he muffled, face nuzzled into your neck.

   “Yes?” You asked as you rubbed circles on his back.

  “I made it.” He smiled into your neck.

  “What.”

  “I made it. I passed the audition.”

  “AISH! Pabo! You had me so scared!” You smacked the back of his head. He laughed out loud as he picked you up, spinning you around. 

   You were there for it. Since his beginning in BigHit as a trainee and his entrance into BTS. You were there for it all. Even when he moved into the dorm with the other six boys, they had accepted you as family just as well as him. You were often seen at the dorm with them, early in the mornings cooking them breakfast before they left, making them lunch and bringing it to them, and cooking them dinner alongside Jin and sometimes Yoongi. In your perspective, it was the least you could do to support them, seeing how hard they worked each day. But you didn’t realize how much it meant to your best friend. You were there for Jimin through it all. For the fourteen-hour practice days, for the weeks in the studio, for the late nights that he cried to you, wanting to give up. But you refused to let him let go of his dream so easily. The whole reason he was here, in this seat and at this award show, was because of you. 

   “Bangtan Sonyeondan.”

  Jimin had been so immersed in his memories with you that he almost missed the way that Park Seo-Joon had announced the winner of Artist of the Year. He closed his eyes in relief, catching a small glance of how Jungkook had put his head in his arms, seeming to give thanks to whoever was on his mind at the time. Probably Army, Jimin thought. He stood up with the rest of his members and began their journey to the big stage. His legs moved, but his mind didn’t, thoughts still clouded with you, wondering how you were reacting right now. He remembered how you reacted when they won their very first Daesang in 2016. 

  He walked into the dressing room when he felt your weight slam into him, almost knocking him to the ground. He quickly steadied himself as his arms circled around your waist. He was expecting screaming, squealing, laughing, something among the spectrum of joy to come from you. What he got instead was a tight hug and your head crooked in his neck, small sniffles coming from you. 

  “Wha- are you crying?” He looked at you, a smile forming on his face. Normally he would tease you, but he had just finished shedding a few tears himself. 

   “Shut up,” you mumbled, making him laugh, “I’m just so proud of you.”

  He smiled at your words and pulled you away, looking into your eyes. They sparkled with the tears that you were shedding, even though they sparkled without them anyway.

  “You did it, Jiminie. You achieved your dreams.” You said, tone close to a whisper. He smiled at you and pulled you back into him.

  “Trust me, it’s only the beginning.”

  He was right. It was only the beginning of BTS’ journey on the charts. He had accomplished many things with BTS, his members serving as his brothers and his best friends, but you held another special place in his heart. Because you were there from the very beginning. Of everything.

  As they reached the mic, Tae had taken it upon himself to give the first speech. Jimin stood there, looking among the crowd at all the fans, amazed. However, his head was still heavily clouded on thoughts of you, and how to thank you for always being there. He was already smiling, but it grew wider as he thought of how you supported him in every little thing, even things such as their variety show, Run BTS.

  It was just before they started shooting the next episode of Run when Jimin had come up to you, your place being behind the cameras. You were sitting next to Manager Sejin, laughing about something. He smiled at how comfortable you looked, among this crazy life of his. How you just fit in. He shook his head at the thought. Of course you fit in, you’ve been there since it all started. 

  You noticed him walking up to you and smiled at him. “Hey.” you smiled.

  “Hey.” He said. You looked him up and down, he wore a nicely fitted suit.

  “Well don’t you look dapper.” You said, giggling. 

  He smirked at you, “Always dressed for the best, madam.” He bowed dramatically, making you transition from giggling to laughing out loud. 

  He walked closer to you and kissed your forehead. 

  “Good luck, Jiminie. I’m rooting for you.” You smirked, knowing how rare it was for him to win a run episode.

  “Luck? Never heard of it. I have you though, so I should be okay.” he smirked back at you before being called back to the set to film the twenty-sixth episode of Run. And just like all those years ago, he won, and of course, he thought it was because his good luck charm was there to support him.

  Jimin looked towards the mic to see that it was Hobi speaking. Jimin was next, and he wasn’t prepared at all. Well, moreover he knew what to say, he just didn’t know how to say it. He racked through his brain trying to find anything to say, but all that came was another memory. 

  “I believe in you, you’ll do fine.” Y/n giggled over the phone.

  Jimin smiled at the sound before looking towards the clock. What was seven o’clock pm here in the United States was ten o’clock over in Korea. Unfortunately you had obligations to attend to at your own job, so traveling with him to the AMAs wasn’t an option. But that didn’t mean that you weren’t set up with a bowl of popcorn and a blanket on your couch with the TV on, ready to watch him and BTS perform.

  “It’s our first performance at an American award show, I just- I’m nervous,” he ran his hand over his face, “If we mess it up then our chances of charting in the U.S. could be ruined, our name mocked, our hard work in ruins.”

  He could almost see the smirk you held over the phone, “Don’t worry about it, Jiminie. I’m watching and I am one-hundred percent sure that you guys will absolutely rock that stage and blow all those American’s socks off!” You giggled.

  He smiled at you over the phone before Tae came to tell him that they’re leaving. “Well I have to go..” he trailed off.

  “Good luck.” You said.

  “You’re my luck, Y/N” he said, letting out a breath.

  Jungkook had to nudge Jimin in the side for Jimin to come back to his senses. He looked around to see that they were all looking at him. He took a deep breath and stepped up to the microphone.

  “Um, I’m sure that the others had already thanked everyone they needed to thank. I want to, of course, dedicate this award to Army, and thank you all for everything you all have done,” he smiled at the loud roar of cheers. “Over the years, over all the award shows we’ve attended and all the awards we have won, I have thanked many people. From my family, to my teachers, to our managers, our producers, the rest of the staff and Bang PD, and of course, my brothers,” he glanced at BTS who were all smiling at him, “but there’s one person I have yet to thank, and they probably are the one person that deserves it the most.” He took a deep breath. He wasn’t nervous of Army’s reaction, they already knew you existed. You had joined him for many V-Lives, made appearances with him at a few award shows and parties, and even sang a cover with him. No, he was more nervous about getting his point across.

  “Y/N,” he said, smiling at the uproar of cheers from his fans at your name, “you have always been present and a part of my life for the past twenty years. I still remember when we were five and six and we bonded over our shared love of pirates when I came to greet you to the neighborhood for the first time.” He chuckled, letting out a few tears. He was emotional, to say the least. “You’ve always been there to support me in absolutely every journey I have ever encountered and have celebrated with me for every accomplishment I have achieved. You were the one to convince me to audition for BigHit, and you refused to let me quit when things became too rough. I don’t think I could have made it this far without you. I just wanted to say thank you for that, and most of all, thank you for being my best friend.” He ended his little speech, claps and cheers following. Lastly, Namjoon stepped up to the microphone to give his ending speech before they left.

  Jimin’s thoughts however, didn’t leave you. He kept thinking about how you reacted to his speech, dedicated to you. Whether you were crying or squealing in the dressing room backstage. 

  Yes, you were here too. Sitting in the dressing room watching everything. He remembered earlier, before he went on stage to perform.

  “Good luck, Jiminie.” You whispered, holding your pinky out.

  He smiled at you, hooking his finger with yours, “Why need luck when I already have you?”

  He stood there as Namjoon gave his speech. Jimin was deep into his thoughts about you. How you were there for everything, for twenty years, for his wins and his losses, for his crazy life. How he was without a doubt, undeniably, and sickenly in love with you. It appears that it just took him this long to figure out that you had always been there, present in his life, and that he wouldn’t rather have anyone else by his side.

  They started walking back to the dressing room and the boys were all congratulating each other. Staff and other idols were congratulating them as they passed by but they were all a blur to Jimin, as his one goal was to find you. Once he located the dressing room, he took a big breath before opening it and walking in.

  And there you stood, looking at him expectantly, tears streaming down your face. With that first glance towards you also came a rush of confidence. He walked over to you in large strides and slammed his lips onto yours, one hand on your cheek and the other on the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. It took you a couple seconds to process what was happening, but you started to kiss back, tears still streaming down your face. The boys in the background were wolf-whistling and cheering. Jimin was pretty sure he heard Jungkook yell something along the lines of ‘finally’ but he didn’t care. All he wanted was you, however the need for oxygen was too much and he pulled away slowly. 

  You looked up at him with teary eyes, but your lips curled into a shy smile, kind of like the same smile that you gave him when you two met for the very first time.

  “Hey, Little Luck.” He mumbled, staring into your eyes. His nickname for you was fitting, he had given it to you when he won his first taekwondo match that you went to, just having turned twelve.  

  You giggled, “Hi, Jiminie..” You glanced at the boys and your cheeks turned pink. Your eyes flickered back to him before you let out a breath, “You did it Jiminie. You made history.” You stated, smiling wider.

  He grinned at you, gave you a peck on the lips, and another on your forehead. “Not without you, I couldn’t have.”

  You two stood there for a couple seconds before you pulled away with a raised eyebrow and a mischievous glint in your eye.

  “So is this your confession where you tell me how much you love me and how perfect I am?” You teased, running your fingers through his hair.

  He barked out a laugh and grinned wolfishly at you, “Indeed it is, Little Luck, indeed it is.”

  You laughed with him, “Well I guess it’s only fitting to say that I love you too.” 

  And in this moment, Jimin knew you were going to be there for him for the long run, the rest of his life. Well, he had always known that, but now it just took on a whole new meaning. Not only would you be there as his best friend, but as his lover. And he couldn’t wait to embark on more journeys and adventures with you as his right-hand woman, giving you all the care and love you deserve from all the years of continuous and endless support you provided him. No, he didn’t need any luck in moving on with his life and career, because he already had you. The End.

faded love | pjm

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 he doesn’t need to say it. because you can feel your husband, park jimin, falling out of love with you. 〞married couple au.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: jimin x reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst (rip sorry) ⋆ fluff ⋆ smut

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 16k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: couples therapy (is that a warning?), cheating/infidelity, some swearing, soft mushy smut, oral (female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, creampie, lots of kissing, this is just v soft mushy sex, like super light softcore romantic porn

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: W H A T I S U P D E M O N S! I’m back with another instalment of the mixtape series, i sincerely hope you all enjoy it!! almost everything is read through and edited except the smut because like,,, its 4am and the sun is coming up and i’m ill and tired

⇥ part of the mixtape series

⏤ unedited

The signs were there.

Your relationship with your husband, Park Jimin, was slowly fading; slowly dwindling into nothingness. You don’t really recall exactly why you’ve been drifting apart or what caused the start of the drift. All you knew, was that one day, two months ago, your husband had come home with a changed, indifferent air around him. Within that long agonising month, you had tried everything to garner his attention. You suggested bike riding down the Han River liked you used to when you began dating, trying to rekindle some of the love and passion in your relationship. However, Jimin had refuted the offer, claiming he had a busy day at work and he was tired. When you suggested a date night, something relaxing like a movie and dinner, Jimin had rebuked that too, not wanting to leave home. But when you’d suggested staying in and watching a film, he’d turned that down too; heading straight to bed instead.

For two months you tried whatever you could. From planned days in so that he could rest if he was tired, all the way to suggesting fun and exciting things like trips to museums or the park like you used to when you were dating. But each and every single idea was turned down with some excuse or another. At some point you began wondering if you had done something to annoy him or said something that caused him to begin pulling away from you. But no matter how much you racked your brain, you couldn’t pinpoint any thing. He was just no longer interested in spending time with you.

Keep reading

Comfort (KNJ)

Hey all, Amanda here! So I know this one doesn’t really focus on the relationship between Joonie and Y/n but I was just free-writing one day and this was the end result. Despite the fact that it doesn’t focus on their relationship, I still feel like it’s important to put it out there because it focuses more on mental health and being there for your friends. Please, if you know anyone who is going through a hard time, let them know that you are there for them and continuously check up on your friends! Love you all, stay safe, and borahae <3

Genre: Best friends!au, angst, fluff

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Word count: 663

Warnings/TW: mentions of mental health, mentions of suicide, mentions of depression, mentions of depression in youth

Summary: “I feel like I’m more of a background character.”

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  “I feel like I’m more of a background character.” 

  “What do you mean by that?” he asked.

  I shrugged, “Just like, we only see our own lives. However mine is so uneventful, so boring, so...worthless-”

  “That’s not-” He tried to interrupt you.

  “No, just, please listen. It’s not that I think I am worthless but more like the life I’m living is worthless. Like background characters. Nobody really cares to read into their stories because they are so focused on the main character’s. I feel like nobody really ever tried to get to know me, and if they have then they were left unimpressed or couldn’t really care enough. I’m always there to offer advice, maybe make you laugh, or accompany you on an outing, but nobody really reads into me.” You gave a weak smile, kind of a pathetic smile, actually. You looked back to the night sky, trying to distract myself from the painful pain of the wound I just reopened. 

  He kept looking at you, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Namjoon didn’t know what to say. How could he not notice his best friend was feeling like this?

  You barked out a spiteful laugh, not towards him but more so towards the world. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. It’s not your fault I feel like this. I don’t know, Joonie. It just feels like the only reason I’m living right now is because I don’t want to become ‘just another statistic’ on the suicide chart on Mental Health dot com. But then again it’s not like I actually want to kill myself, I’m too curious to do that. I want to see what becomes of me, I just am so scared that I won’t be able to see something great when it happens to me because I will still feel like this. I’ve spent the better part of my teenage years feeling like this and I am so scared that I will continue to feel like this for the rest of my life. And because I’ve been like this during my teen years, I wasn’t able to fully discover who I was, who I am. So I guess I’m just feeling lost as hell and I don’t know what to do.”

  Namjoon watched as you let out a big sigh, as almost you were relieved from the weight on her shoulders. He didn’t want you feeling like this. He didn’t think anyone should have to feel like this. He didn’t understand how you were able to hide this from him for so long. How has he not noticed that his best friend was drowning? He didn’t know the answers to these questions, but what he did know was that he didn’t want you to feel alone in the process of finding yourself.

  He put his hand on top of yours and gave you a reassuring smile, “I don’t think I could understand what you’re going through, having not been through it myself, but you should know that even if I can’t know what you are going through, you don’t have to face it alone. I will always be here for you, while you find yourself again. Or maybe not it's not the old you, but a new you. It doesn’t have to be scary to find a new version of yourself, it’s actually called growth. Or in your instance, character development.” You giggled at his choice of words, but were eternally grateful for his friendship and guidance in that moment. You didn’t know what you did in a past life for the world to give you such a great friend. 

  “Thank you, Joon.” you whispered, laying your head on his shoulder. The two of you spent the rest of the night looking up at the stars, enjoying each other's company. He was right, you shouldn’t be afraid of who you might become, and you were going to start searching for whoever that person may be.

The sexiest video of Yoongi to exist 🥵

Flame

Hey guys, Amanda here! I’ve been kind of slow on this update but again I wanna limit my posts to about once or twice a week. I’m a busy girl, ya know? Being 18 ain’t easy xD Anyway, I am actually really proud of this one, the inspiration just kind of streamed through me when I was writing it. Let me know if I should make it into a series! I hope you like it as much as I do and if you do, please heart it, reblog it, or follow! Love y’all, stay safe, and borahae!

Genre: bad-boy yoongi! au

Pairing: yoongi x reader

Word Count: 938

Warnings: pyromania, intense descriptions of fire and setting things on fire

Summary: Yoongi should learn to not judge a book by it’s cover, especially when it comes to Y/N, who is a lot more than what she seems.

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  “Take me on a ride.”

  He looked up at me with a raised eyebrow and took the cigarette that he was about to light, “What?”

  “I said, take me on a ride.” I stood before him, wearing my neatly tucked-in blouse, grey blazer, and grey pants. My hair was previously tied up into a slick ponytail before I had taken it out after exiting the building where my office was located.

  He scoffed, looking me up and down, “You’re kidding, right? Little Miss Princess who wears pencil skirts and ‘Mary Jane’s’ wants to ride on a motorcycle with the big bad wolf?”

  My eyes narrowed in my classic intimidating stare, however he seemed unaffected. “Don’t pretend to know anything about me, Min Yoongi.”

  He shrugged and shook his head before placing the cigarette back in his mouth and taking out his lighter. He pushed the trigger, causing a flame to erupt. The orange glow flickered as it caused the end of the white cancer stick to light up red. The hue of the colors could be compared to the colors of the sky, although the sky was more toned down and had pink in it. The sunset was beautiful. If I were sitting on my roof and watching it like I used to in my teen years, I would feel complete serenity. Calm, happy, and relaxed. However, the gorgeous mix of pinks and oranges in the sky could not compare to the vibrant orange flame that had lit the cigarette between his lips. His hands were rough, veins coursed through them. His fingernails were slightly dirty and his knuckles were slightly bruised. Mysterious and appealing is how I would describe them as one of them shielded the flame from the slight breeze and the other held down the trigger that ignited the flame. But again, not as appealing as the fire that had captured my attention. 

  I stared into it, my eyes glazed over. Ever since I was small, the dangerous element had always intrigued me. I remember staring into the fireplaces during the holiday season while my family talked about whatever - I never paid attention to the conversation. I was too enraptured by the flames. I remember how I would always have candles in my room, providing me light. I preferred it that way, instead of turning on the headache-inducing bright light of my bedroom. Natural light had always been favored over artificial light during my lifetime. My friends who came over thought I was some type of hippie, but alas they were wrong. I just liked fire. The smells that encased my room from the candles were just a bonus. 

  When I grew into my teens, my interest in the destructive hue of orange had grown. From me playing with sparklers and fireworks in abandoned buildings with friends to burning pages of books in a bucket. There is nothing more beautiful than the charred ends of paper where the words had once rested but were now gone forever. It’s aesthetically pleasing, the crisp ends of burnt book pages. Which is why I burned over half of my books in the small bucket in my backyard. 

  Bonfires were always my favorite hangouts. My friends and I would have one or two every summer just to appreciate each other. From cheap stolen beer that they had copped from their parents to roasting marshmallows on a stick. They were always fun, and I was able to stare at the fire, lost in my thoughts as my friends enjoyed each other’s company around me. I was unable to resist the flickering of orange, the warmth that it gave off. Enough warmth to make me want to engulf myself inside of it. I’ve never tried though. I may be intrigued by flame, but not enough to set myself on fire. Maybe enough to hold my hand over a lighter until small blisters made their appearance, but not enough to commit suicide. 

  He chuckled, his deep voice had an edge to it, slightly raspy as he inhaled the cancerous fumes from the lit cigarette. The flame that I had been staring at for who knows how long had been taken away far too soon and abrupt for my liking. I blinked a couple of times to process, to come out of my thoughts and away from the fire. He put his lighter in the pocket of his leather jacket as he leaned on his motorcycle. His brown eyes searched mine, looking for something. For a motive. For any possible reason as to why I have approached him. His search was a lost cause, because I, myself, was unable to make clear as to why I was intrigued by him. By this mysterious man with rough hands and a cigarette addiction. Maybe it’s because he’s dangerous. Maybe I’m just attracted to danger. My mother had always called me a daring girl. From all the abandoned buildings I explored as a teenager, to the adventures into unknown places that I’ve indulged in, to the crowd of misfits I called friends, to my very love of flame, I would say she was right. 

  “You’re playing with fire, little girl.” His raspy voice cut the silence, cut the tension that I was sure that only I had felt. He wore a small smirk, almost as if he was daring me, curious to see what lengths or what ends I would go to. 

  My eyes sparkled with excitement, an excitement that I haven’t felt in years. A shit-eating grin grew on my face as I looked him dead in the eyes, “Good thing I’m a pyromaniac then.”

Love Again (JJk)

Hey friends! Amanda here! So I wrote this one like a few minutes after I wrote Flame. I’m proud of it but it’s super short. I hope you all don’t mind a short one for this week. Life has been really kicking my butt as of late so today I’m gonna actually sit down and write out some of my ideas. Hopefully some of them make the cut to become imagines, smut, or drabbles but we shall see. I also have a couple ideas for series but I struggle with with writing full on stories sometimes so lets hope that I can organize my thoughts and give you all a well-written series. Anyway, hope you like this one, its kind of sad and full on angst. Love y’all, stay safe, and borahaee <3

Genre: exes!au, Angst

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 626

Warnings: mentions of infidelity, toxic relationship, cheating, descriptions of sex, mentions of depression.

Summary: “Would it be too much to ask if you could remind me what it feels like to be loved again?”

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  Regret. Pain. Heartbreak. Pleasure. 

  I regret letting him in again. I don’t know how many times I’ve fallen weak to his charm or the old flame he and I used to carry. I regret letting him treat me as a second choice. Letting him make me a second choice. I regret doing this behind her back. She probably loves him just as much as I do. I regret doing this to her, when he did the same thing to me.

  It hurts, knowing that our once-vibrant flame is now gone. It pains me to know that although he is here right now and at the moment, he’s still gone. Away. That he left for something, for someone better.

  My heart broke when he told me he didn’t love me anymore. When he told me I was no longer a priority. When he told me that I was no longer the keeper to his heart. It fell, shattered into millions of pieces, and I can’t seem to fix it. Not when we play this game made up of old flames and pleasure.

  Pleasure.

  I looked at the ceiling, gasping as he bit my neck, suckling skin, and soothing it over with kitten-licks. While my body was reacting positively to his actions, my mind, my heart, and my soul lie somewhere else. I closed my eyes, shutting them tight, in hopes of being able to just focus on the present. Focus on him. Focus on what he is doing right now. Focus on how at least, at this very moment, he was in your arms. In hopes of flourishing in the attention he was giving me. 

  When? When had I settled for something so little. Something so small as his attention. I guess that when we were together, I never had to worry about it, never had to worry about gaining his attention. But now? Now it's a delicacy, a rare and cruel gift that fate has left on this world for me. 

  My eyes watered as he moved up to look me in the eyes. His brows furrowed as he saw my state.

  “What's wrong?” He whispered.

  I pulled him closer to me by his neck, our foreheads touching as I took in his facial features. “Would it be too much to ask, if you could remind me what it feels like to be loved again?” I croaked, voice barely above a whisper.

  He sighed, “Y/N-”

  “Please.” I whispered, pulling him into a small kiss.

  He pulled away too fast for my liking and searched the depths of my eyes, “But won’t it hurt you even more?” he asked.

  “Please, Kook.” The tears slipped out of my eyes as I begged him, begged him to love me again. He looked at my desperate state and nodded slightly, before he kissed me with a new passion. Not rough, like how it usually is. But soft, passionate, loving. Like how he used to. When he still loved me. 

  He continued his ministrations, keeping his promise to me. He treated my body as if it was a temple, with delicate touches, and small whispers of “I love you.” And as fake as it was, it had me high. High off his love. His attention. Slow thrusts and teary eyes, breathy gasps and passionate kisses. 

  He made love to me that night. Even though he loved another. Even though it would only hurt me more. And when I woke up from a night of a rekindled flame, I was distraught, to find that it was only me who had felt it rekindle. With an empty bed and a heart full of sorrow, I had to move on, move on and pretend like I knew how it felt to be loved.