Lilawkwardbun - Excuse Meeeee I Am Trash - Tumblr Blog

Wow I’m really late reading this but 😱😱😱😱😱 You and are so incredibly generous for making beautiful stories like this FOR FREE! No matter how many times I read your fics they never get old. I just wanted to let you know that you’re appreciated! Thank you so much for making things like this 🥰🤧

A Holiday Snowdown (M)

Author: @kpopfanfictrash as part of the Happy Ho-lidays collab with @floralseokjin , @suga-kookiemonster , @sugaurora , @underthejoon, @winetae​ and @btssavedmylifeblr​

Pairing: Jungkook / Reader (female)

Genre:  Enemies to Lovers / Ski Resort!AU / Snowboarder!AU

Word Count: 36,333

Rating/Warnings: 18+ for sexual content. Fingering, oral (female receiving), hand job, mutual masturbation, breast play, some face riding, dirty talk, orgasm denial, clit smacking (is there a non plural form of this?), cum shot on chest

Mentions of past death (does not occur during story). Ankle injury (non-graphic). Yoongi is an enthusiastic MC. Bam is adorable. Jungkook has both lip and eyebrow piercing

Summary:  The Inn on the Hill is in trouble. Or that’s what your boss, Namjoon, says during the last-minute All Staff holiday meeting he calls. You need money, and you need money fast, or his parents are planning to sell the resort. When no one can think of an easy solution, Namjoon proposes his parents’ idea: a weeklong social media blitz with a celebrity guest. The celebrity? None other than Jungkook Jeon himself: two-time Olympic gold medalist, world-class snowboarder and the nation’s sweetheart. What’s the problem? You happen to have met Jungkook Jeon before, and sincerely hoped you’d never see him again.

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v. rotten angelcake ⇾ kth. [M]

chapter five : marco polo  ⤑ you run into someone you no longer belong to. taehyung still thinks you need reminding.

⇽ prev. | masterlist | next ⇾

⌁ pairing; ceo!taehyung x curvy!reader (f.)

⌁ genre/rating; s2l, ceo au, sugar daddy au, smut, fluff, 18+

⌁ word count; 4.2k

⌁ warnings; mullet!taehyung (yes, bestie this is a fucking warning), dom!taehyung, daddy!taehyung, ass enthusiast!taehyung, sub!reader, brat!reader, virgin!reader, possessiveness, public sex, daddy kink, size kink, praise kink, corruption kink, dirty talk, jealousy, voyeurism, exhibitionism, humiliation, degradation, oragsm control, dry humping, teasing, biting, hair pulling, breast/nipple play

⌁ le playlist

ও as always a hundred thanks to cam ( @sunshinejunghoseokie ) for the pretty, pretty banner!! a million thank yous to my girls, my betas sammy ( @chateautae ), eva ( @nottodayjjk ) and kiki ( @uhgood-dooghu ) for reading, editing and simping over this delicious man with me. love you babes 🥺💖

The farrier is a gentle soul. He feeds the horses apples before tending to their shoes. You watch him cut, trim, and scrape the thick hoofs, leaning the horse’s leg on his thigh. He told you it was okay to hang around here, seeing as polo spectators sometimes linger around the stables before the game or during halftime. 

You left the field around the second chukka. Though dressed for a polo match, you are in no mood to watch it. No else seems to be either, mostly chatting through the game. It’s all for charity, so you assume that people made appearances for the sake of looking charitable and humble. 

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iv. rotten angelcake ⇾ kth. [M]

chapter four : d-d-d-dim sum  ⤑ you’re not feeling well tonight. but being with taehyung always makes things better.

⇽ prev. | masterlist | next ⇾

⌁ pairing; ceo!taehyung x curvy!reader (f.)

⌁ genre/rating; s2l, ceo au, sugar daddy au, smut, fluff, 18+

⌁ word count; 9k

⌁ warnings; mullet!taehyung (yes, bestie this is a fucking warning), dom!taehyung, daddy!taehyung, ass enthusiast!taehyung, sub!reader, brat!reader, virgin!reader, breast/nipple worship, public sex, daddy kink, tongue/mouth kink, praise kink, corruption kink, scent kink, dirty talk, jealousy,  voyeurism, exhibitionism, oral fixation, choking, teasing, biting, motorboating, breast/nipple play

⌁ le playlist

ও as always a hundred thanks to cam ( @sunshinejunghoseokie ) for the pretty, pretty banner!! and a super duper special thank you to my bestest betas sammy ( @chateautae ) - who i tortured with this breast play hehe-, eva ( @nottodayjjk ) and kiki ( @uhgood-dooghu ) for reading and editing and just honestly being so fucking amazing. i really love you all so much 😭💖

Mid-September is no time for a yacht party. You curse the event planner, or whoever the genius is that thought this was a great idea. It’s freezing, wind thrashing in unpredictable gusts and swaying the docked boat. You find yourself feeling sick without the damned thing even setting sail. The night may have been redeemed if you had the moon to gaze at, but it’s hidden with the stars behind great clusters of clouds. You wish it would rain. Maybe then the hosts would call it a night and usher everyone off the boat. 

Stomping around a dark deck in a silk, white dress, that attracts both the cold and unwanted eyes, is not at all how you wanted to spend your Friday night. Seeing as your period plagued you with cramps the night before, you had every intention of wearing something you won’t miss if stained and lounging around the apartment. Mrs. Chu would watch her reruns of Gilmore Girls and you’d join her with a hot water bottle pressed against your stomach. You were supposed to have some seaweed soup and a tub of ice cream, then call it a night around nine in hope of beating your nightly cramps. If they hit while you’re awake, you’ll never sleep. 

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WORDS TO USE INSTEAD OF: CRY / CRIED / CRYING

Do you ever find yourself over-using the word “cry” (or “cried” or “crying”) in your writing? Try using these words instead:

sob / sobbed / sobbing

wail / wailed / wailing

weep / wept / weeping

bawl / bawled / bawling

whimper / whimpered / whimpering

howl / howled / howling

blubber / blubbered / blubbering

snivel / sniveled / sniveling

squall / squalled / squalling

yelp / yelped / yelping

whine / whined / whining

shed tears / shed tears / shedding tears

burst into tears / burst into tears / bursting into tears

tear up / teared up / tearing up

choke up / choked up / choking up

well up / welled up / welling up

break down / broke down / breaking down

let it out / let it out / letting it out

turn on the waterworks / turned on the waterworks / turning on the waterworks

open the floodgates / opened the floodgates / opening the floodgates

Does anyone else get Hisoka vibes from Jimin’s hair or is it just me??

Nos están matando #SOSCOLOMBIA

I usually don’t do this, but right now I feel the need to.

I can’t just be quiet about it and act like nothing is happening, because it hurts and breaks my heart to see everything that’s going on in my country right now.

It would mean the world to me if you could get informed and spread awareness of what’s going on in my country right now.

Colombia is a country that has always battled with violence and corruption, but lately this abuse of power has overstepped the line, and people are tired.

Why is this happening?

On April 15, our president Ivan Duque introduced a tax reform to cover the fiscal gap caused by the pandemic. This reform, affected the working class and worsened their situation of vulnerability during the pandemic.

That same Wednesday, thousands of Colombians went out to the streets, the vast majority peacefully, to demand the withdrawal of the Tax Reform from Congress and the resignation of Finance Minister Alberto Carrasquilla. In the afternoon there were outbreaks of violence and confrontations between protesters and the Police, which led to complaints of police abuse.

Duque refused to withdraw the reform and opened a space for dialogue. Which was not accepted and the citizens decided to continue to protests on the streets to this day.

Why are we still protesting if our minister resigned and the tax reform was withdrawn?

On May the 2nd, our president announced that the tax reform was withdrawn. However, this decision did not put an end to the protests. The protesters continued their claims for the death of at least a dozen people throughout the country, especially in Cali, by shots and abused carried out by the Public Force.

What was Duque’s response?

Duque's response was to send more force and militarize the cities, which was rejected by the citizens who announced that they would continue to complain against measures promoted by the government, such as the reform of the health system and the use of the glyphosate.

Right now, the government is deploying war tanks to combat against the protestors.

https://twitter.com/col_informa/status/1388237885166563328?s=21

Twitter

Colombia Informa on Twitter

“#URGENTE🚨| Este es el panorama en estos momentos en Pasto. No dejan que la población se manifieste en contra del gobierno. Ciudadanía respo

https://twitter.com/col_informa/status/1388627643373957124?s=21

Twitter

Colombia Informa on Twitter

“#ParoNacional1M🔥| Se reportan capturas masivas de manifestantes en Medellín. ESMAD ha reprimido la movilización, Policías han disparado arm

What is the media doing about it?

Nothing, and it’s making the situation even worse.

The national media outlets are so biased that they reported a video of one of the biggest protests in Cali, -which is the city with the most deaths, registering eleven, most of whom are young people who were at the protest and were shot dead- as a manifestation in support of the tax reform.

Please donate or share this information, Colombia needs your help.

If someone doesn’t come up with a fanfic titled “Butter My Biscuits” or “Butter My Buns” I will be fairly disappointed in this fandom 🥲💜

dearest ana, if pressed, and you had to watch bts members eat for an hour... in order of most watchable to least watchable... I MUST KNOW. sincerely, hope xoxo

okay hopie, you know compiling this list was torture for me, but i did it anyway because i love you and can't deny you a thing. so without further ado, your bangtan eaters ranked from least to most obnoxious:

kim namjoon 7/10

most points for overall cleanliness and decorum. enjoys eating and demonstrates very little food aggression, for the most part willing to share. eats (mostly) with his mouth closed. meals are relatively calm and organized. did, however, eat a fortune cookie whole — paper intact.

kim taehyung 6/10

hungry all the time and will do anything to eat. a reputation for obtaining food though shady means. repeatedly caught on camera stealing snacks and meals from other members. one half of the infamous dumpling incident.

jung hoseok 5/10

watching him eat is almost unbearable, and you guys know how i feel about this man. has delicate fingers and hands which seems to help his case overall, but seems to prefer using those hands instead of utensils. one time i watched him obliterate a churro in three bites -- which is actually not as sexy at it sounds.

park jimin 4/10

forever biting off more than he can chew. eats like a man three times his size. i have twice witnessed him take bites so large he was physically unable to chew and had to spit it out and try again. literally the only man on the planet hot enough to get away with it.

min yoongi 3/10

not shy in any way about eating on camera. not worried in any way about choking hazards. willing to (speak, scream, laugh) around a mouthful of food. once watched him pick up an entire half chicken with his chopsticks which was, admittedly, impressive.

kim seokjin 2/10

get marie kondo on the horn because seokjin is a mess. will eat anything that is not nailed down. will use any means necessary to get food to mouth; chopsticks, straws, fingers. ability to make food defy gravity, suctioning noodles from plate to mouth with powerful lung capacity. seems to prefer foods covered in sauces. bib recommended.

jeon jungkook 0/10

absolutely missed his calling as a wild animal. highly food aggressive, will and has reached over/under/through members to grab something he wants. always locked into a battle to the death with his (already dead) food. mean mugs his plates.  sucks his fingers.  one time watched this man deepthroat an entire kimbap which -- again -- is not actually as sexy as it sounds.

most watchable:

kim yeontan 10/10

This story needs more attention what the heck! It’s wholesome with a touch of angst and whole lot of soft Yoongi which I live for! You did an amazing job at writing this!

The King Isn’t Dead (m) II myg

Pairing: Yoongi x oc (fem)

Rating:  M

Word: 19.7k~ (my finger slipped?)

Genre:  historical fic, smut, romance, fluff, angst, political upheaval shit

Summary:  After the invasion and the King’s miraculous survival, the nation aims to secure stability and his position of power through the prospect of marriage and continuing the Min line.  As a promise to your brother on the battlefield, the King promises to consider you as his potential wife - to love and to protect.  Or maybe it’ll be the other way around?

Warnings:  Language, non-descriptive violence, prior death, angst, unprotected sex (please dont), public sex (kind of), fluffy fucking, oral sex, fingering, handjobs, unfortunate but historically accurate depictions of misogyny 

AN:  Firstly, I did my own research on Joseon history, and I am by no means an expert on this subject.  This is fiction, and I do not mean to offend anyone with my depiction of this era. Secondly, that upload of Yoongi practicing his sword choreography has taken up way too much of my mental space to not try this one out.  Thirdly, I edited (mildly).  And lastly, I just love this man so much and missed his little face.  Keep healing, Baby. 

+++

The rumors of the King surviving the latest and decisive battle against the sea invaders spread through the country like wildfire.  With a starting 20,000 men, less than a third returned home.  Broken, scarred, exhausted, and traumatized.  But victorious.

Some say the King rose back from the dead to fight off the invaders.  Others say he turned into a tiger and bit off the opposing captain’s head.  Some say he drank the enemies’ blood to revive himself, to finish the battle. But, you know better. 

The battle left the King with a scar down his eye apparently.  Upon his return, Traditionalists in court whispered behind his back that they should dethrone him.  No royal should bare a scar, they reminded.  The loyalists had them drowned for speaking such slander against their savior. The country would make an exception for this King.

As long as he wed promptly.  He has a week to chose a bride that would provide the nation with a prince.  Solidify the Min royal line.

And this is why you sit on his floor, head low, with two other possible wives for the King.  You wait for examination in the finest robes your aunt could buy.  Which one of you will become a Queen and the others concubines or gisaengs?

There is Seunghee who has an air of royalty, with her long straight hair and pale skin.  She comes from a family of scholars who have advised the King’s courts for decades.  She is slender and mild mannered.  

And on your left, there is Arin.  She too exudes elegance with her petite facial features and bright eyes.  She comes from a wealthy family in the North that could easily barter treaties for foreign aid.  She is poised and charming.

You don’t know how you ended up here.  

Actually, you do. You just can’t believe it, because you’re not from an obscenely noble family with long ties to the throne.  You originate from the South, adopted with your brother by your uncle and aunt.  Your family was well off and built ships for the military.  Your family is important but still a new name to the inner ring of palace.

In an alternate reality, where the recent attack had not occurred, you would never have ended up here.  Your brother would not have gone to war, would not have been drafted in the hidden division that prevented the full on invasion on Busan bay.   Your brother would never be stationed in the fleet next to the King — he would never have seen the sneak attack on his Majesty, from the side.  He would never had acted so courageously by jumping in front of the King, saving his Grace from death.  Your brother would’ve survived, and his last dying wish wouldn’t be the safety of his sister.

You’re only here because your brother is dead. 

Keep reading

I guess these pick-up lines do work on some people (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧  [cr. c_a_leaf]

Stop Asian hate please and thank youuuuu 💜💜

to all my fellow asians, i hope you’re doing alright mentally and that you’re physically safe. if you need it, there’s a post with good info about asian therapists, and a toolkit for dealing with racial trauma. please take care of yourself <3 to everyone else (especially white people), please support us during this traumatic time, and refrain from doing insensitive things. support links:

here is an active ever updating twitter donation thread https://stopaapihate.org/ https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate https://www.advancingjustice-atlanta.org/ https://nymag.com/strategist/article/where-to-donate-to-help-asian-communities-2021.html https://anti-asianviolenceresources.carrd.co/ https://stopasianhate.carrd.co/ https://www.aarcatl.org/

Wtf this story is so good??!!!! The humor! The individuality of the characters! Their personalities!!! This was such an amazing short story and this post deserves more attention!!! When I read a story I usually skip through paragraphs because I get bored but I didn’t get bored at all with this one! You are extremely talented! I hope you’re staying healthy and are living your best life lol

wordless, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: A library is full of words and quiet. Jeon Jungkook liked to go to the public library a lot. It turns out, so do you. And that’s how it begins, from passing glances, to words on a screen, to Jungkook now sitting shirtless in his bedroom, heart racing as he presses the record button.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; smut (fem reader, filming of nudity and m-masturbation, semi-public dry humping); fluff; non-idol!BTS; the definition of “well that escalated quickly” but also not? lol; shy!Jungkook

hello again, @gowayyeonjun, ;)

–

He stared at the black screen, reflecting his nervous expression.

His hand shot out and flipped it down. His phone case faced upwards, a clear case with a carrot graphic on the bottom against the matte black of his smartphone. A reference to his childhood nickname because of his ever-so-slightly too large front teeth.

He took a deep breath and flipped his phone back up, leaning it against his windowsill.

“Am I really going to do this?” he asked his own reflection, who did nothing but repeat his question back to him.

He raised his hand, dropped it. Raised it again, chewing on his lip. Leaned forward and pressed his finger to his phone screen, unlocking it. Then he pulled up the camera app. Before, he had been staring at his reflection in the black screen, but now his face was in full color, curly dark hair over one eye since it was freshly washed, his tan chest bare, gray sweatpants slung low on his hips. Black tattoos on his right arm on full display, brown eyes wide and slightly terrified.

If you told Jeon Jungkook six months ago that he was about to film himself masturbating, he would have told you that you were fucking crazy.

Keep reading

so. FUN FACT

tumblr is apparently rolling out a beta for a new post editor that essentially makes it so there are no longer post “types” (text post, audio post, photo post, etc.), and instead all types of content are better integrated into a single post. pretty neat, right?

…until you read the fine print.

The maximum number of total content blocks allowed in a single post is 250.

i emailed support and asked whether each paragraph counts as a content block. i received this reply:

SO. each paragraph counts as a content block, and i’m only allowed 250 content blocks in one post. the solution provided was to reformat my fics by using shift+enter after every paragraph instead of simply enter. which is already unnecessarily annoying in of itself, but then you come to the second hurdle: 

The maximum character length of a single text block is 4096 characters.

so–what?? besides spending my time writing thousands upon thousands of words, i’m expected to copy-paste it and then reformat everything, counting every single one of those words to make sure they fit within the restrictions? or i’m supposed to chop my fics up into multiple parts, even when i don’t want to? how exactly are writers supposed to write on this platform?? as you all know, my style tends to run pretty dialogue-heavy, so i start new paragraphs (and, thus, content blocks!!!) pretty damn often. i did a quick check, and let it snow, at almost 19k, is 550 paragraphs. with this new system, i would be forced to upload it in three (3!!!!!) posts! even my shortest chapter of ego, at 8.8k, is 350 paragraphs, and i’d have to split it in two.

this is honestly a formatting nightmare as a writer, and this is a decision that is liable to drive content creators away from the site and change fandom culture as a whole. 

please. if you enjoy reading content on this site and want to continue enjoying content on this site, please don’t let tumblr make things harder for writers! since the tumblr team is supposedly eager to hear what everyone thinks, it would really help if you could message support and share your concern about the issue–maybe we can stop this disaster before it starts.

Too go is so smol and adorable 🤧

Cutest lil’ confused chefs

He is just so beautiful 😭

dream boy 

Prison guards: Iroh? Escape? Ha! That weak, senile old man couldn’t escape if we rolled a red carpet to the door!

Iroh alone in his cell:

SIR OMFGHJKGHFJG

If anyone else wore this they would look like a grandpa but he makes it work so well!

Dear Fanfic writers, I don’t care.

I don’t care if you’ve never written before or if you’ve written hundreds of fics.

I don’t care if your fic is 100 chapters or just one.

I don’t care if there’s too much dialogue, or not enough.

I don’t care if your character drinks “a hot cup of coffee” or “a steaming well of carefully brewed fair trade Ethiopian single origin organic beans, contained in an antique blue willow cup with one tiny chip on the edge and mild cracking in the glaze.”

I don’t care if you use the same pronoun over and over or if you use the word “persnickety” eleven times over the course of ten pages.

I don’t care if your historical references are accurate, or if the characters speak in a way that doesn’t fit their environment.

I don’t care if your romantic pairing makes love on a bed of roses at sunset or if they bang up against the wall in a changing room at Walmart.

I don’t care if your stories are nothing but fluff, or nothing but smut.

I am going to read your fics, and I am going to enjoy the hell out of them. So please keep writing, and ignore comments from assholes. We, the readers, love you.

Reblog if you agree!

Illustrations by Thiago Lehmann

A grab bag of hippie art: HAIR cover art, a fashion illustration, Barbie art, a Pepsi poster by John Alcorn, and more.

He said “y’all still think I’m a child... bet”

JEON JUNGKOOK OUR EXPECTATIONS FOR YOU TO BE SEXY TODAY WERE HIGH BUT HOLY F#CK!!!

| Cr twt koooo901

He’s adorable :(

The cameraman responsible for this nonsense:

❗AVOID THESE PEDOPHILES AT ALL COSTS! ❗

I was scrolling through Tumblr and came across a post of KNOWN PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR (many of which have or want to rape actual children/minors)

THERE ARE ACTUAL PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MINORS ON TUMBLR

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS LIST AND KEEP OUR MINORS SAFE