Crack A Smile And Cut Your Mouth

Crack A Smile and Cut Your Mouth

Ledger!Joker Origin Story

Chapter Five - Hell On Earth

Warnings: Violence, war, blood, (light?) gore

Chapter Summary: Jack waits outside the promotion board and as he prepares, he thinks on his deployments so far.

Author’s Note: Okay it's currently 1:40 am. I stayed up late writing this and after I post I'm going to bed 🫠 This chapter is everything the title suggests. Trigger warning I guess? If war and all that it entails triggers you then I would suggest skipping ahead. Just know that the war messed up poor Jack pretty badly and you can imagine why. But the worst is yet to come... I just love foreshadowing ;)

Taglist: @alittlesmartcookie @furisodespirit

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Picking at his nails nervously, Jack sat outside the promotion board room waiting to be called in. Today was a big day. If things went well, and they probably would, he was getting promoted to Sergeant. In the scheme of things this wasn’t such a big deal. But it was to Jack. This would be the first time he was put in a true leadership position.

Jack had been in the army for almost 5 years now and completed two tours in Afghanistan, returning from his latest one several weeks ago. The war made him a different man. He was rougher, tougher, and more resourceful. His eyes became keen and his hearing became sharp. He had no choice but to adapt. It was either that or be killed. 

Afghanistan was the closest thing to hell on earth Jack thought he could get. One of the worst parts was when nothing would happen for days but they had to be ready because the enemy could strike at any time. They’d start to let their guard down and then, seemingly out of nowhere, the chaos would ensue. 

The gunfire, the explosions, the bodies… Men that were here one minute and then gone the next. And the screaming…so much screaming. All things that Jack would never forget no matter how hard he tried.

Resting his head on the rock behind him, Jack blinked as the bright sun shone in his eyes and a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. His squad had been sitting here for hours, watching and waiting, endlessly waiting, for something to happen. 

He sighed quietly to himself and gazed up at the cloudless sky as a hawk soared overhead. He felt a small pang of envy at watching the bird fly so freely. A weird sense of longing washed over him as he imagined what it would be like to be the bird. No war, no responsibilities, the rush of the wind against him, and a break from the fucking hot sun. 

Jack stopped himself in disbelief. Was he really so miserable he was jealous of a stupid bird? He was losing it already. He chalked it up to the intense heat. It had a way of making everyone question their sanity. 

Time dragged on and still nothing. Slumped against the rock, he counted the limbs on a nearby dead tree, bored out of his mind and sweating in places he didn’t know he could. 

Then he heard it. A slight whoosh went past their heads and then boom. A grenade went off several feet in front of them. Many of them, including Jack, were smart enough to move away in time and get behind the rocks. Unfortunately some of them were too slow and got caught up in the blast. 

“Fall back!” The squad’s sergeant shouted.

As he ran, Jack didn’t dare look down out of fear of seeing the bits and pieces of the barely recognizable corpses strewn across the sand. He turned his head just before he climbed in the humvee and saw a truckload of their attackers speed by, jeering in another language. He was too shocked and disturbed to care. 

Jack sighed as he simmered on the memory. The grenade incident was something he always thought back on since it was the first time he truly experienced the horrors of war. The images of the fallen soldiers and the bloody mess they left behind would be forever imprinted in his brain. He was 20 years old at the time. If only his younger naive self knew that the horrors would only get worse from then on.

To Jack one of the most tragic aspects of the war was the innocents. The most prominent example he could think of was during his second tour when his platoon had to travel through a village to get to their destination. That day would never leave him either.

As the humvee ran over another rock, Jack banged his head on the ceiling for the umpteenth time that day. Thank God he was wearing his helmet. That didn’t stop him from being annoyed though. He rolled his eyes discreetly out of his superior’s line of sight and glanced out the window at their surroundings. 

The village they were passing through wasn’t as active as others they’d encountered before. A woman or two could be seen walking past them and a few kids here and there were playing in the streets. They paused their games and stared up at the military vehicles with interest as they drove by. The lack of activity seemed odd to Jack but he paid it no mind as the line of humvees continued down the road.

The eerie stillness of the village ended abruptly as the humvee in the front burst into flames. The other vehicles slammed on their brakes to avoid colliding with the explosion, tossing the soldiers aboard out of their seats. 

“Jesus! What the hell just happened?” A dazed private sitting behind Jack exclaimed.

His answer came when a series of cries rang out in the streets and shots were fired. They were being ambushed. No wonder the village was so lifeless. The residents knew what was coming. 

Jack heard someone in authority shout. “Get down!”

He couldn’t decipher who it was but they didn’t have to tell him twice. He crouched down between the seats and took cover. Something busted through the window above his head and sent glass shards everywhere. He realized they were rocks as more flew through the window.

The attack was only getting worse and more deadly by the minute so eventually the platoon had to leave the safety of their vehicles and fight back. 

Jack slung his rifle off his shoulder and fired a few rounds, effectively hitting his targets the majority of the time. He blamed his poor shots on the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He hid behind one of the humvee’s back tires as bullets started to move in his direction.

This was utter hell. He was sure he was gonna die at any moment. But somehow he made it out alive. The battle dragged on and on until finally the platoon began to gain some ground and overtake their attackers. What was remaining of the enemy was killed while a select few managed to retreat and get away.

Once it was safe, Jack stood up and slung his rifle back over his shoulder. He exhaled in relief, glad the firefight was over. He walked over to what was left of his group and waited to be told what to do. 

The smell of smoke and burning flesh gave the air a pungent odor, making Jack’s eyes water. He scanned the area solemnly, noting all of the fallen soldiers and the structural damage caused to the village. Suddenly an ear splitting scream broke out behind him, causing him and a few others to jump.

The scream came from a grieving woman, hunched over what looked like her young son. Jack froze. Civilian deaths were always the worst and he’d witnessed many, but this was totally different. This was a child. The boy barely had a chance to live and his life was ended simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

A little girl ran to the mother’s side and knelt beside what appeared to be her brother. Tears streamed down her face. Blood was splattered on her clothes and her dark hair. She looked up in Jack’s direction with innocent eyes that shattered his soul.

The mother picked up her son’s body, turned, and carried him away, with the little girl following close behind. He knew he wasn’t responsible for the boy’s death but he couldn’t help but feel awful.

“Napier! Get over here!” Jack’s superior shouted, bringing him out of his daze.

He jumped a mile. Was he really standing there that long?

“Oh, sorry sir.” He said in a soft tone and followed the other soldiers back to the now damaged humvees.

The memory of the little girl stayed with Jack for a while after the attack in the village. It was hard to forget those eyes. Even to the present day he thought back on her sometimes. There were so many like her. Innocent children caught up in a conflict that wasn’t their fault. He recognized that sometimes civilian deaths were unavoidable and were even a necessary evil at times but it just felt so wrong. Especially when kids were involved.

He glanced at the clock on the wall and took a deep breath. Anytime now he could be called in for the promotion board. Thinking about bad memories was not helping his nerves at all. Of course his mind had other plans. 

It’s like he was intent on torturing himself. He couldn’t help it. The war was always fresh on his mind. He was getting promoted soon and in a few months he would be up for a third deployment. Combat never left his brain.

He had no clue how he was gonna adjust back into civilian life when the time came. He’d cross that bridge when he got there. But something told him it was going to be a lot easier said than done.

A First Sergeant appeared in the doorway and informed Jack that they were ready for him.

Okay, here goes… He thought as he stood up and followed the man inside the boardroom.

Head doodles from while I was away :)

Crack A Smile and Cut Your Mouth

Ledger!Joker Origin Story

Chapter Four - Desert Sands

Warnings: Depiction of 9/11

Chapter Summary: The US goes to war with Afghanistan and Jack gets called for his first deployment.

Author’s Note: This one was again shorter than I wanted it to be 😔 I didn’t outline this part of the story (chapters 3-5) well enough so I’m kinda winging it here. I really really want to write the upcoming chapters but I have to actually get there in the story first lol. Also I realized that haven’t updated this fic since May so I’m gonna work extra hard to get more chapters done this month. It will be easy since I have the future chapters outlined pretty well. Anyway, as always enjoy! <3

Taglist: @alittlesmartcookie

If you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know! <3

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2 Years Later 

Coming back from his usual morning PT, Jack entered the main building, sweaty and almost out of breath. He was just about to turn and go back to his quarters when soldiers gathered by the TV in the front lobby grabbed his attention. They looked concerned about something.

What’s wrong with them?

 Raising an eyebrow, he walked towards the commotion curiously. As he looked up, the images he saw on the television shocked him.

“Breaking news. A plane has crashed into the North tower of the World Trade Center. As of right now, 8:52 am, we have very little information on this incident. We still don’t know the cause of the crash, how many are injured, the people on the ground, etc. Updates will be made as they come.”

There were many gasps and confused murmurs among the soldiers. Soon a commanding officer came out into the lobby to restore order. He instructed everyone to get back to their respective areas, causing the soldiers to snap out of their daze and scurry out of the room at his orders.

As the morning went by, more reports came in. Another plane hit the South tower. That was when it became clear that this was no accident. The next one struck the Pentagon and lastly a plane intended to strike the capital was reclaimed by the passengers and crashed into a field in Pennsylvania.

Jack didn’t know what to think. The US was moved to defcon 3, which meant a state of readiness was put in place for all the military bases throughout the nation. Fort Benning was no different. 

Everyone on base was shaken. Even the more experienced soldiers who’d seen the worst of combat many many times were shook. Nothing like this had ever happened before and so close to home.

Uncertainty was in the air before, but now it was brewing ten times stronger. As the days passed, war was most definitely imminent.

…

One Month Later

Running his fingers through his hair, Jack let out a frustrated groan. He dialed his home phone number and waited anxiously for an answer. Finally his mother picked up the phone. 

“Hello?” Her meek voice answered.

“Mom?”

“Jack? Hi honey! How is everything?” 

“Uh, good right now. But I have some news.” 

He paused and took a breath. “I’m getting deployed in two weeks.” 

“Oh… Where?”

Jack bit his lip. “Afghanistan.”

“Oh God.” Jacqueline barely managed to choke out. 

She went quiet for a while and Jack could tell she was probably crying.

“For how long?” She finally asked.

“I don’t know. Nobody knows anything right now, Mom. It shouldn’t be more than a year though.” 

“Alright. Call me before you deploy. Be strong. I love you.” 

“I love you too, Mama.” 

They said their goodbyes and Jack hung up. He sighed, wanting to punch a wall. 

His duty called but that didn’t stop him from wanting nothing to do with this deployment. After a moment, he took a deep breath and composed himself.

This was his first deployment so he had no idea what to expect. He only had what people told him to go by. His mind was still processing the news that he was going since he was just informed this morning.

Man up, Jack. You signed up for this. It’s gonna be fine. Mom will be fine. 

One of the soldiers on Jack’s squad poked his head in the room. 

“Hey Napier, sergeant needs to see you.” He informed him.

“Okay. What for?” Jack asked as he walked towards the doorway.

The soldier shrugged. “I dunno. Probably more deployment stuff.” 

Jack nodded and the other guy departed. He sighed and started down the hall to go see what his sergeant wanted. 

…

Two Weeks Later

The hum of the aircraft’s engine buzzed in Jack’s ears as he gazed out the small window. The ocean below glimmered as the afternoon sun shone down. Jack had never flown before and even though the circumstances were bleak, he couldn’t help but admire the beauty beneath him.

Their destination was still several hours away so Jack was content to just sit and stare at the vast sea. Other soldiers were either sleeping or staring out the windows same as him. It was quiet inside the aircraft save for a few whispers here and there and the engines whirring. 

Jack couldn’t help but worry about his mother. A few days ago she visited Fort Benning to see him before he deployed. She looked so distraught, like any mother knowing their son was going into combat would. She gave him so many hugs and kisses that day. 

Jack thought it was a little much but he understood why she would be upset so he didn’t complain. He hugged her right back and assured her that he would be fine. After she left, his concern became more focused on her, not himself. 

Ever since he left home he worried about her. But this time not only was he away from home, he was out of the country. He couldn’t be there if something happened to her or if Scott did anything. That thought gave him more anxiety than his current situation.

Several long hours later, the sun was beginning to set and the base was in sight. The aircraft landed with a jolt and everyone began piling out, awaiting instruction.

Jack stretched, relieved from sitting for so long, and took in his surroundings. The landscape was nothing but sand for miles in every direction. He looked up and not a single cloud was in the sky. The air was cooler than he expected but then he remembered deserts were cold at night. In contrast the sand felt hot against his boots. It hadn’t yet lost its heat from the sun. 

The barracks in the base weren’t that bad. Certainly better than a rock in the middle of the desert. Jack knew it wouldn’t always be like this. The coming days when he would eventually be called into battle would definitely be worse. 

But he couldn’t think like that. He just had to suck it up and deal with it. Worry causes things to go wrong and that’s what gets you killed. He refused to die here. No way. 

Jack diverted his attention to making his bed. That would keep his mind off the coming days. Sure repressing emotions wasn’t healthy but it sure was convenient. 

Once everyone settled in for the night, Jack laid on his bunk and stared at the gray ceiling. He tried to get to sleep but he just couldn’t. The worry was consuming him. He had a lot to think about. His mother, himself, what was gonna happen…

He forced himself to take a breath and slow his thoughts. 

It’s going to be fine. You will be fine. You’re making it worse by worrying. Nothing good ever comes from that. Just calm down. 

His mental pep talk seemed to appease his mind for a while. At last letting his anxieties drift away, he began to fall asleep. He had no idea what was ahead but at this moment it didn’t matter anymore. He wanted rest so he was getting it. And he would need it for the hellish days to come.

He’s out, right?

No thoughts head empty except for this mfer he can stay

He’s been living in my head rent free lately