It's Important To Remember That, No Matter What You Were Told Growing Up Or Whatever Someone Might Be

It's important to remember that, no matter what you were told growing up or whatever someone might be trying to convince you now, fighting is not a normal part of any relationship.

Differences in opinions are normal. Bad days are normal. Moments where you're irritated and tired and want space are normal. Having to sit down and talk something out is normal.

Shouting matches, insults, threats, arguments that last for hours, passive agression, purposely trying to hurt one another, these things are NOT normal or healthy.

This goes for every relationship. Family, romance, friends, peers, there is no kind of relationship where trying to tear the other person apart is okay.

Abusers will swear to you that it's impossible to have a relationship without blowing up at each other on the regular.

They are wrong.

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

Edit- I added the visualizer for this piece on my YT, check it out here

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

anyways, there’s a difference between not wanting kids, not wanting to be around kids, and being a hateful little imp who creates a personality on hating a living creature on the basis that they need care, attention, and are not capable of expressing themselves in a way that would make that care and attention a little easier. it’s not cute, it’s not funny, and it directly affects the way children are treated, which affects how they view themselves as they grow up.

treating children as a burden is evil, point blank period. a child can never be a burden. they have no choice but to depend on their caretakers or they will die. if you don’t want to have the responsibility of taking care of a child, don’t fucking have kids. don’t agree to take care of someone else’s kids. don’t go places where kids are welcome and frequent. unlike them, you have a choice where you go, who you hang around, what you do in your day to day life.

children are experiencing the exact same world we are with absolutely no reference for what the heck is going on. to treat that as an imposition on others is an act of abuse, at the end of the day, and it definitely makes you a bad person.

Enneagram Fears

If we are afraid that there is something fundamentally wrong with us or that who we are is not enough or good enough, it is likely that we are a 1.

If we are afraid of rejection, being needy, and not being loved, it is likely we are a 2.

If we are afraid of failure, it is likely we are a 3.

If we are afraid of being abandoned, of our sadness, and of feeling lost, it is likely we are a 4.

If we are afraid of entanglements and of losing what we have, it is likely we are a 5.

If we are afraid of everyone and everything to one degree or another, if fear itself in a nameless, faceless way is the driving force of our psyche, it is likely we are a 6.

If we are afraid of boredom, of grunt work, and of being exposed as a charlatan, it is likely we are a 7.

If we are afraid of being weak and not being in charge or on top of things, it is likely we are an 8.

If we are afraid of creating conflict by making ourselves or our needs too obvious, it is likely that we are a 9. 

- Sandra Maitri, The Enneagram of Passions and Virtues

One of my least favorite mental illness things is "hungry but dont feel like eating" and its companions "hungry but all the food in the house is Illegal," "hungry but can't make anything," and "hungry, want to eat, but why bother"