Some Of The Things Laurent Says Are So Horrifying In Their Insecurity And Self-hatred. The Way He Internalised

Some of the things Laurent says are so horrifying in their insecurity and self-hatred. The way he internalised his uncle’s rejection of him when he got “too old” (vom) did such a number on him. I just keep thinking about those bits - stuff like this:

‘That wasn’t a play against my uncle. That was a play against Nicaise. Boys are easy. At thirteen,’ said Laurent, ‘you could have led me around by the nose.’     ‘I can’t believe you were ever easy.’     ‘Think of the greenest innocent you’ve ever tumbled,’ said Laurent.

Underlying meaning Laurent would never articulate out loud: Please imagine me as young.

‘I wouldn’t have to tell them you were a prince to sell you to that troop.’     Laurent held his ground. ‘Not really? I would have thought twenty was a little grown up for that.’

I’m too old to be desirable.

‘I forgot, you don’t fuck boys.’

I don’t understand why you would prefer a man to a boy.

Damen said, ‘Men, sometimes.’    ‘In the absence of women?’

You couldn’t really want me. It must just be that you can’t have what you really want.

‘Your inclination appears to be much as it was last night.’

You’ve fucked me already. Surely you got what you wanted. Why would you still want me now?

‘I want you,’ said Damen.    ‘You’ve had me,’ said Laurent. ‘Twice.’

Why would you still want me.

‘You’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. Since Nesson.’ …    'You’re right,’ said Damen. ‘I’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.’    'Why?’

Why would you still want me.

‘I’ll stay,’ said Damen. ‘You know I’ll stay for as long as you—’     ‘Don’t,’ said Laurent. ‘Don’t lie to me. Not you.’

You won’t stay with me.

'As if being fucked into the mattress by the King of Akielos could be anything other than demeaning…How did you think it would be?’ said Laurent. ‘You’d take me to your bed for the public consummation?’

This wasn’t real, and now it’s is over and I accept it, I don’t know why you’re acting as though things are otherwise. (Also it’s a bit like he’s talking to himself here.)

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, I just feel heartbroken by how bad Laurent hurts and how little support he has.

Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch

"Baz is standing in front of a full-length mirror, wearing—I swear to Merlin—a flowered suit."

Rainbow Rowell, Wayward Son

— Sangwoo, wait!

“Much like fairy tales, there are two facets of horror. One is pro-institution, which is the most reprehensible type of fairy tale: Don’t wander into the woods, and always obey your parents. The other type of fairy tale is completely anarchic and antiestablishment.”

— Guillermo del Toro on horror being inherently political  (via girlwithouthands)

Whoever adapts The Song of Achilles better use the Trojan War to straightbait. Imagine: trailer full of swordfighting. Posters showing them in their armour. Promo images of a scantily clad dancer. Then BOOM. It’s a love story. The fighting is only a few scenes. That sexy dancer? Achilles in disguise.

@A24 you can have this idea for free.