Off Topic But Have We All Read That One Washington X Steuben Smut?

Off topic but have we all read that one Washington x Steuben smut?

Yk, the one that describes his fat rolls jiggling in detail?

Just me? I-okay ... Okay...

Me scrolling through ao3: *sees the most nastiest, wrong, evil, fanfic ever written.

Lucifer: Hey it’s Lucy!!! Thank you for buying a one way ticket to hell. This is a non refundable ticket. 

Ah yes, my favourite dead sons who I aggressively hoard every single biography I can find of these men.

I love them.

"Give me more trashy Von Steuben sketches!!!" - No one ever

(uhhh in case you can't tell I FATALLY messed up the mouth and just gave up. Also, I SWEAR TO GOD IT LOOKS OKAY IN PERSON BUT MY HANDS ARE WAY TOO SHAKY. DW I know you all wanted MOAR crusty deleterious art anygays.)

ANygaySSSS, TAGS!!!

I SECOND THIS.

Amrev is like Hamilton but way more "characters", way more ships, EVERYONE is gay, and hence my buddy's username, lams IS canon

(oh yeah, and defo not as toxic. Less animatics though, that's a slight disadvantage.)

my professional opinion on every hamilton ship i have seen in this accursed media

starting with the ogs and working down to the quote unquote rarepairs.

hamliza: 7/10 obviously didn’t uh. go very well! they’re domestic and cute and i never have any opinions on canon ships because they’re explained in the og media yk 😭

lams: 6/10 what kind of a name is lams. anyways i could probably make an entire post about this pairing and how much i actually enjoy it but how mischaracterized and ruined theyve been… as a concept theyre great but the fanon interpretation sucks im sorry

mullete i think its called: 5/10 WOW these names are bad. its mid. i don’t mind it. idc. dont love it don’t have any problems with it either. 100 percent grey area.

jamilton: 4/10 i just don’t like enemies to lovers it’s just a preference i’m sure it’s actually fine. jamilton lovers always have the best art so its fine

jeffmads: 8/10 this. has problems. as all things do. however i love their dynamic and they act like an old married couple. james following thomas everywhere and being pathetic is frankly hilarious. took off points for the fact they might actually be funnier platonically

jamilmads: 4/10 this feels like jamilton fans realizing jeffmads actually kind of makes sense and adding james for no reason

hamburr: 2/10 get away from me. get away foul beasts 🤺 (i think its like a 4 in reality but the fans are off the rails)

literally anyone/peggy: 2/10 whether it be lafayette, laurens, whoever i don’t see it. she’s just besties with everyone leave her alone

angelica/hamilton: 4/10 angelica girl your standards should be so much higher. yeah i don’t like this one

revolutionary polyamory: 4/10 this is referring to hamilton laurens laf and herc i believe. its ok. i dont rly like it. its eh.

washington/anyone: 1/10 HES THEIR DAD LEAVE HIM BE

lafferson: 3/10 daveed diggs squared. it makes me giggle a little bit other than that no emotions but hate

mariliza: 2/10 i really hate the trope of shipping two canon love interests with each other it makes no sense

hamilmads: no rating bc this one is just confusing to me wtf.

philidosia: 9/10 i am so biased on this one. so very biased. this was my otp back in the day. everything was about them. save me dear theodosia szin animatic. theyre my everything. the angst possibilities are insane and i love it. docked off one point just because of fanon interpretation, i have a very specific dynamic in my head and it is NOT that

JESUS CHRIST I-

i think that you are the great exposer of bad bios of hamilton + burr - @theoburrsvirginitybalcony does the same for bad hist novels

True.

Tbf, theo (selkie) does a good job and is genuinely funny doing it and there's a lot of really bad fiction and "nonfiction" out there!

Btw I'm still trying to read the first torment of aaron burr book. Not easy. Harder than Von Steuben at a sans culottes party.

Is it bad that I gag at Whamilton but clap my dumb little hands at Washette?

Yeah...