THESE PARTS HAD ME WHEEZING

THESE PARTS HAD ME WHEEZING

Freak on a bike

He doesn't know what the hell he's doing, this big dumb guy.

Inspired by RM in the mv for Sexy Nukim. Happy birthday week RM! I’m sorry.

Pairing: RM x F! reader

Genre: Smut

Rating: 18+

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Explicit sex, a fuckton of swearing, referenced drug use, objectification and dumbification of our fave sexy genius

Tagging: @sahmfanficbts @reliablemittenmain @vyduan

A bike bell rings and you look up to see where it’s coming from.

A bike stops a few feet away from you. On it, a guy in a black suit. 

You eye him curiously. He’s not bad looking, pretty sharp compared to the other guys you do business with. 

His thighs sandwich the bike frame, both feet on the ground. 

He reaches into the wire basket and holds out a package to you.

You look around.

What is this guy, some kind of fucking amateur?

‘You a narc?’ you ask, not moving from the railing you’re leaning against.

‘What?’ he asks, voice deeper than you were expecting.

‘Said what the fuck is that?’ you ask. 

You glance around again, half-thinking you’re being set up because there’s no fucking way the Kangs, drug overlords of Asan, sent this dumb goon to drop a package to you.

Have they been snorting their own low quality shit?

‘My first day,’ he says, like that’s gonna help redeem his big dumb self.

‘I’m supposed to be ok with you and your fucking training wheels?’ You shoot a glance at his chest, straining against his white shirt. ‘And your fucking training bra?’

He puts a hand over his chest. Big, like the rest of him.

‘I’m not wearing a bra,’ he says, hurt.

‘I’m not taking you shopping for one, baby girl,’’ you retort. You wave a hand. ‘Here, gimme that shit.’

You slip him the packet you’re meant to give him in return and put his package in your bag. 

‘Go back to wherever the fuck you came from,’ you say, dismissive. ‘Next time don’t ring that damn bell. You trying to call attention to us?’

You watch him cycle away. You’re not expecting to see him again, dumb goon will probably get himself killed before too long.

***

You’re on your phone, deciding what the fuck you want for dinner tonight when you hear the bike approach.

It stops inches from your foot.

You look up, and up a little more, because this guy is unfeasibly big. 

‘Still alive, huh,’ you say, somewhat impressed. 

It’s been two weeks since you saw him last, this big dumb guy. He’s wearing the same black suit he was wearing him last time, only this time he’s got rings on his fingers.

You give him points for style, he looks good for someone who’s a short step away from getting done by the po po. 

‘Hey,’ he says, voice warm, like you’re friends or some shit.

He leans forward a little, loses his balance a bit, and the bike slips forward. You get your foot out the way just in time.

Man’s a clumsy bitch. 

‘Got something for me big guy?’ you ask, raising an eyebrow, doing that face that makes these dumb gangster boys want to slap you and fuck you, in that order.

‘My name’s RM,’ he says. 

‘Good for you, baby,’ you say, dry as fuck. 

He passes you his package and takes your packet in return, slipping it into the inside pocket of his jacket.

‘What’s your name?’ he asks.

‘Don’t worry your big dumb head about my name,’ you say. 

He grins at you. 

Jesus, this big dumb baby has dimples, cute. Like an actual baby. 

You want to poke your finger into one. 

‘Go home, big guy.’

He shoots you another look as he pedals away, big legs working the pedals, trousers straining against his thick thighs. 

This fucking guy. 

***

The next drop, he doesn’t ring his damn bell or try to run over your foot. 

‘Why you always dressed like you going to prom?’ you mutter, passing him your packet.

He dimples at you. ‘Wanna be my date?’

‘I don’t date chum,’ you say, scathing.

His dimples deepen. 

‘Why do you keep staring at my thighs if you don’t wanna ride them?’ he asks.

You stop and look up at him. 

‘Stop towering over me, you goon,’ you say. ‘How’m I supposed to talk to a fucking skyscraper?’

‘I’m just saying there’s room,’ he says, smirk on his face. ‘If you want a ride.’

You don’t say yes, but you can’t bring yourself to say no, either.

‘Hey,’ you call after him. ‘Take the underpass. Cops were all over the main road earlier, a stabbing or some shit.’

He nods, thighs flexing as he accelerates. He rings his bell once, and then he’s off, swallowed by the dark.

***

You’re picking out sweets at the store, trying to decide on a lollipop flavour (colour?) when he walks up to you. 

‘I like cherry,’ he says. 

‘Didn’t ask,’ you reply, snide. You look up. 

Damn, this guy. 

He’s got his suit jacket slung over his shoulder, white shirt unbuttoned so far you can almost see his tits.

‘Don’t put your tits in my face, poke my eye out,’ you complain.

He acts like it wasn’t him who didn’t do his own buttons up.

He pays for your sweets, buys himself pop. 

‘Let me taste,’ he says, pointing his chin at your lollipop. 

You look at him and lick around your lollipop. 

He watches, avid, like he’s imagining you doing the same to his cock.

You pass it to him. 

His tongue flicks out and now you’re the one letting your imagination run away with you.

His arms and chest stretch that shirt out so nice.

He tilts your chin up, rolls the lollipop over your lower lip, coating it in sweet.

You blink up at him, open mouthed.

He has to lean down a lot to kiss you but he acts like it’s no big deal.

You guess he’s always been a big man.

His hand cups the back of your head, tilting your face so he can kiss you deep, taste the cherry flavour even though it’s almost gone.

You swallow, and he hums.

Then he’s pulling away, slipping the lollipop through the ‘o’ of your lips.

You blink, and then he’s no longer touching you.

‘See you next week, pretty girl.’

***

You’re thinking of the big dumb goon who kisses like he’s got the dick game to back it up. 

Like he can take his time with you, slow.

RM, he’d said his name was. 

Speak of the devil. 

He rolls up next to you on his bike, and you exchange packages so seamlessly it’s like you practiced it.

‘Hey,’ you say, holding out your hand. ‘Got this for you.’

He’s looking at your tits when he should be looking at your hand clasped in front of them, the dumbass.

He tilts his head. ‘Yeah?’ 

You reach out and clip the Hello Kitty light you picked up to his wire basket.

‘There. You can see where you’re going now.’

He looks at it for a moment, then he smiles. You can see the dimple flash in his cheek.

‘Cute. Like your ass,’ he says. He reaches into his pocket. 

‘I got something for you too.’

You think he’s gonna say his dick, he seems like that kind of guy. 

He pulls out a lollipop, unwraps it with his teeth, hands it to you.

‘Suck it for me,’ he says.

You pop it in your mouth, a sweet cherry burst on your tongue.

‘You want me to suck it for you?’ you ask, teasing.

‘Yeah.’ 

He shifts a little on his bike. You stare at the bulge of his cock as you suck.

‘Damn.’

He leans close, lips about to touch yours, when you hear a ‘hey!’

You pull him close, pull his big body over yours. His arms wrap around you, his hips cage you against the railing.

You lick your tongue into his mouth because you can, and then you turn to the cop who’s shouted.

‘Yeah?’ you say, like you’re bored when actually, you’re fucking thrilled because your big goon feels like he’s got a big dick to back himself. 

He’s not even fully hard and he feels like he could break you.

What a fucking way to go, impaled on your big goon’s monster cock.

‘Let’s go, baby,’ he says.

He pats the back of his bike saddle, and you realise there’s space for you behind him.

You hop on, and he puts those thick thighs to good use, pumping the pedals like pistons, carrying the both of you away on his dumb bike.

***

He looks pretty fucking good under you as you wriggle your ass in his lap.

You’ve got your hand in his thick fucking hair, tugging his head back.

His hard on’s trapped in his pants, you’re riding the ridge of it and he’s so hard and thick your clit’s in heaven.

You’re right there with her, your big dumb sexy goon’s gonna make you cream just with the promise of how big he is.

You gasp, bite down on his lip, and he says, shit, fuck, you gonna cum, already?

You’re most of the way there. His mouth on your tit makes the pleasure explode. He sucks like he wants to milk you dry. 

Who knew this guy was so clever with his tongue?

You aren’t ashamed to say you need more.

‘Show me your dick,’ you pant.

He unzips, yanks all that shit down, and you could cry.

He’s so big he could split you in half, cock standing straight up, pre-cum sticky on his head.

You want to suck him like those cherry lollipops he buys you but you can’t fit all of him in.

You want him to stretch you everywhere.

You almost cream again when he slaps his dick on your cheek.

You’re pathetic, whiny, needy for his cock.

‘Come on,’ he grunts. ‘Let me stretch you, s’not gonna fit otherwise.’

He works two fingers into you, and you ride his hand like it’s fucking Magic Mountain.

He says, ‘fuck,’ and he grabs your ass, tight.

He works another finger into you, fingering you hard, fast.

He flattens you on his stupid ass futon and still you spread your legs because you’re gonna take this man or die trying.

Death by dick.

He’s spurting pre-cum now, groaning as he rolls the condom on.

How’d he find one big enough?

He dribbles spit onto your pussy, even though you’re plenty wet, you can hear yourself.

He pushes the head of his cock against your cunt.

He’s so big it stings. You’re trying to take him, breathing out slow.

He’s holding still, you can’t tell if there’s more stretch to come or not. 

‘You in, baby?’ you ask.

‘Just the tip,’ he says, he sounds strained.

You lift your hips, trying to take more of him.

‘Fuck.’

He pushes in a bit more, a bit more, a bit more and then he’s all the way in, so deep you can feel his dick on the back of your throat it feels like.

There’s so much pressure, your pussy feels so fucking full of his cock.

He nudges in a little more.

‘There you go, take it, baby,’ he groans. ‘Fucking take it.’

Your clit’s throbbing, your cunt putting out more juices to ease the slide. 

He flicks your nipples, tugging, cupping handfuls of your tits, acting like they were made for his entertainment.

He pulls back and thrusts again. 

‘S’good,’ you slur, but really you have no idea what the fuck you’re saying.

All you know is he’s fucking you just right and this big beautiful dimpled goon’s gonna make you squirt all over him.

He probably makes girls squirt all the time, packing what he’s packing.

You’re breathless as he pistons into you, you can hear yourself gasping. 

‘There,’ he grunts. ‘Make me wet, pretty girl.’

He grabs your tit, squeezing as he speeds up.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You scream as you gush all over him, you’re too fucking loud but your man doesn’t give a shit.

‘Yeah, fuck,’ he groans, deep. 

He pulls out, rips off the condom, stroking himself fast, hard.

Your mouth is open from your orgasm, he takes it as an invitation to cum, spurting his spunk all over your tongue, your bottom lip.

His aim is shit.

Cum drips over your tits, you don’t hate it, especially when he puts his big hand in it and spreads it over your tits.

He falls asleep on you.

You’d kinda known you’d like the weight of him.

***

You wake up to him wiping a damp cloth over your tits.

‘Made a mess,’ he says, tongue in his cheek, the big dumb baby.

‘Do it again,’ you say. 

‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘Now?’

He’s hard again, you can feel him like a third leg against your cunt.

‘Yeah, now.’

‘Wait,’ he says. ‘What’s your name?’

‘Make me breakfast in the morning and I’ll tell you.’

‘Yeah, ok,’ he promises. ‘You like eggs?’

©hamsterclaw 2022

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you like a pretty boy with such a pretty voice

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⊹ liveyun reads of 2023 so far !! joon and seokjin version.

man 😮💨 i really should've made this earlier to avoid the pile-up. there are so MANY golden fics from many underrated authors here which deserve so much more. i’ve been reading for over three years and sadly, the fics compiled here would be the ones which i managed to find in the brink of time ㅠㅠ

there unfortunately have been MANY blogs who've either deactivated, or are inactive since a long time. it personally saddens me a lot, whether they're still into bangtan, whether they're still writing, whether they're all okay.. and more, but above all, i really hope that they're doing well. this is optional, obviously, but leaving a feedback to content really boosts up spirits a lot <3 whether it's an inactive blog or an active one, if it's possible, try communicating or atleast reblogging. it helps a lot :)

most of these fics are rated M, and abiding by the author's wishes, you have to be 18+ in order to read them. however, i’m not responsible for the content you consume online, hence, reader's discretion is adviced.

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