19 she/they enjoyer of silliness
339 posts
Localbrainlesswatermelon - Winter - Tumblr Blog
just found out i've been abandoned by god which means he's not watching anything i do anymore. you should come over.
Love that Word of Radiance literally opens like:
Shallan: Jasnah hates me now because I robbed her and is just taking me along with her forever because of some unknowable reason probably she definitely thinks I’m bad now 😞
Jasnah: *wrote to her mom to tell her about Shallan, came up with a plan to help Shallan’s family even though it would help her enemies, talked up Shallan to her mom to a point where her mom thought it would be a good idea to have Shallan marry into the family and started the betrothal process (but left enough room to back out in case Shallan doesn’t want to get married), got worried because hasn’t seen Shallan in five minutes and decided to sit on deck with her even though she clearly wants to be inside, told Shallan that she thinks the magical beings have brought the two of them together and they need to be together now because fate or whatever (she’s the worlds most prominent atheist btw)*
me: how about you stop “scrolling” your “dash” and start dashing to deliver me scrolls
my useless apprentice: why do you pay the homunculus more than me
practise disappearing
“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own
proud to say that I have never once in my life figured out the whodunit in any crime story I've read or watched. I just let the facts and clues wash over me, absorbing absolutely none of it. I am the audience they think of when they throw in red herrings, in case you've ever wondered "who would fall for this obvious false lead". it's me. I am the idiot viewer/reader. not once has an obviously framed clue revealed anything to me. my head is completely empty when I consume these stories.
days used to last all day. now days last 5 hours. If you're lucky
i hate people who know highways. “i’m heading south on I-65” okay man. i’m moving my rook to c2
love relationships between fictional ppl over 50. you skip all that teenage hormonal shit and go straight to what counts: war crimes and making each other worse
got a major pest problem this year actually
Actually all fossil reconstructions are wrong because flesh only evolved recently. Before that it was bone world
yeah sure breakups are hard but have you ever seen something you know someone will enjoy but you’re not good enough friends yet to send it to them
