According To My Friends I Have Unknowingly Collected A Series Of Unlovable French Men, Which Inlcude:

According to my friends I have unknowingly collected a series of Unlovable French Men, which inlcude:

- The Phantom from Phantom of the Opera

- Javert from Les Miserables

- Hawk Moth from Miraculous Ladybug

Look I just want to see angry, evil(or law-abiding to the point that it becomes evil) people in long black coats(and/or capes) okay, it’s not my fault if they’re all Frenchmen

Caesar: God fucking dammit my mailman saw me naked in the kitchen eating shredded cheese again

Just finished re-reading and I hate this book so much and I really wish for Arthur Golden to be like a typical ya romance writer because then Sayuri would have ended up with Nobu!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Romans and Friends as Images I Have On My Phone

Brutus:

Pompey:

Antony:

Octavian:

Cassius:

Cleopatra:

Caesar:

Octavia:

Cicero:

Today is Julius Caesar’s birthday! To celebrate him, here’s a post about my favourite story about this drama and bisexual icon from Ancient Rome

I. It is suspected he once was the lover of Nicomedes, King of Bithynia and that he was the passive one (homosexuality was accepted in Ancient Rome, as long as you weren’t the passive in bed). His contemporaries never made him forget. Among his titles were “queen of Bithynia” “every woman’s husband and every man’s wife” as well as “mattress of the royal bed”. It got so bad he took a public oath that he never slept with Nicomedes. It just made things worse.

II. While in his 20s, Caesar was abducted by pirates who demanded a ransom of twenty talents. Far from being afraid or even impressed, he burst out laughing and demanded they asked for a much higher ransom. While he stayed as their prisoner, he pretty much acted around them like they were his servants, exercising with them, reading poetry… while calling them savage and threatening them to have them all killed once he was free (which he did)

III. He once burst into tears when he realized he was the same age as Alexander the Great when he died and how he accomplished to little compared to his hero, and he feared he could never live up to him.

IV. He once tripped ad fell face on the ground while he was getting off his ship while landing in Africa. Such thing was a bad omen in everyone’s eyes, but he saved face by saying “Africa, I embrace and hold you fast”. What a guy.

V. One time, Caesar and his long time political adversary Cato were having a debate in the Senate when a servant came in to give Caesar a note. Thinking Caesar was in touch with an enemy of the Republic, he demanded to have the note being read out loud. It turned out it was a love letter (or maybe a not so innocent love letter) from Caesar’s lover Servilia, who was Cato’s sister. They basically ended up fighting in the Senate.

VI. While he was boasting after a success, someone remarked such victory would be an easy matter for any woman, to which Caesar replied Semiramis had been queen in Syria and the Amazons reigned over a great part of Asia. Like, I’m sorry “woman”? Did you think it would offend me?

VII. Caesar was something of a dandy, always well dressed and well shaven. He was quite extravagant about the way he dressed. He was reported to have worn quite off and loose clothing. He also knew how to comb his hair which he would do forward because he was embarrassed about his baldness. His laurel crown was also quite the useful item to hide his lack of hair!

VIII. Along with his friend and ally, Mark Antony, he was the man his soldiers talked the most in camp. He was often eating with them, sleeping with them, giving equal share to each of them, without taking most of the money to himself. Needless to say, he was quite loved by his men!

IX. He was was from being extravagant about food. He didn’t drink often and he once ate rancid food at a dinner as not to offend or embarrass his host.

X. He pretty much invented his very own secret code, as to prevent attempts to intercept his personal and, most importantly, his military correspondence.

Ford: If I'm really as stupid as you say I am, then have the gods strike me down where I stand.

*Lightning strikes Ford*

Ford: Ha! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!