Threatening Animals Isn't Funny

threatening animals isn't funny

do you think I have any actual intention of carbombing a hamster ball

It looked like this trust me I was there

I’m reading a book on the history of man-made monsters and at one point it casually mentions “the famous Pope Formosus, who was the focus of the terrifying Cadaver Synod.” I can’t believe I went to Catholic school and was never taught about this… what’s the point. It turns out that in the 9th century a Pope decided to sue the previous pope, who had died the year before, and so naturally they dug up his corpse and dressed it in full pope outfit to hold the trial in his “presence”. The dead pope was pronounced guilty and cancelled (his papacy was declared null). Then the next pope held another synod that uncancelled him and forbade future cadaver trials. Then the next-next pope went “no, digging up a corpse to sue it was a good idea” and re-cancelled Formosus. Lesser-known chapter of Catholic Church history. 

What does this have to do with man-made monsters you might say—my book mentions that among other things Formosus was accused of dabbling in alchemy and creating a “frog with huge eyes” who showed “diabolical intelligence.” The brief mention of him ends with

if the pope’s sentient evil frog actually existed rest assured that it was possibly destroyed

how to use religious iconography and symbolism in a godforsaken, cunt serving, and incredibly transgender way

Tumblr banned porn? Then what is this?

Nothing says Good Idea quite like mixing extensively documented unstable lithium batteries and large bodies of water.