"You Make Me Glow. But I Cover Up Won't Let It Show"

"You make me glow. But I cover up won't let it show"

To someone who I'm sure wouldn't read this

To someone who even when reads by chance doesn't know me

I thought I changed after you

I thought no more tall, deep voiced, nice eyed and warm laughed guy would make blood rush my cheeks and my eyes abduct on eye contact.

I thought seeing your back as you sit in first bench and I in the side row last but one bench while we wrote our 10th class board exams will be it. Then I won't remember you forever.

That then I'll let go of you who never got a hold of me without knowing you make my day brighter.

That around you I've learnt to be lame and me if that means I get to hear the word 'lame' in your warm voice.

Remember that day when you forgot your hindi homework at home. You were shit shocked cause that teacher ain't an easy one to please. You ran faster than ussain bolt to make it home and come back with the book before the prayer begins.

You didn't know I stared at the entrance, cleaning my crystal clear glasses praying you make it on time and sound.

And when you sat behind me, your gasps of breath seemed to excite my SA node a bit too much. Poor kid overworked that morning and the days that followed.

You don't know how much it hurts when my bestie sits next to you as if it's her second nature knowing I have a thing or two for you. Knowing Idgaf about that cute drummer in choir because a certain cr7 obsessed-belieber- goal keeper rewrote my life in his terms.

I could never listen to love yourself after 10th

The number 7 was never the same

Remember 34 was your roll number?

That add them up and you get 7.

That I changed seats with my brother just so I could sit in seat no. 34 and imagine it was you who was holding my hand and not the armrest 9f some random chair.

I was so damn whipped for you.

Then I made up my mind.

No more crushing over tall, thin, dark, beautiful eyed, warm laughing, lovely smiling, pimple decorated, nice voiced guy. Even if he plays an instrument or sings like jb or plays football or whatever.

2 years I was alright.

Thinking of those little moments we had. Atleast the ones that I considered as moments.

That one time you waved bye to me I squealed my heart out. There was no one by my side. Which only meant one thing. You saw me practicing on the stage.

I vividly remember 19th of September 2015. While we were in 8th class. You're birthday. That day you wore a dark blue button up shirt over white jeans. The same ones my brother bought shortly after. I never thought that someone would look better than my elder brother.

That mrng you texted me? Remember that? Maybe you don't. I'm just a stuck up nerd who became your acquaintance after she began sitting in front of you.

But I do. It was my dad's phone.

"Hey mate" you texted me.

My lame self didn't know mate meant many things other than what a couple refer to each other as. I was so damn shook. I cleared our chat later on afraid my dad would see our non existent love life

Was that love I had for you?

I cared for you.

I looked out for you.

After every games period, I prayed you weren't hurt.

That's the least I could do. Cause some other girl friends of ours would rush to you. Somehow I guess you're friend saw through me. He was someone who was caught doing something inappropriate (which basically was crushing on a friend and kinda flirting with her by our teachers)...he empathized with me perhaps.

That one day when my bestie sat next to you and I sat in front of you..nothing special. But then she kept asking who your crush was. So much so that she kept calling you gay for not having one!

I was pissed!! How dare she? Agreed she knows about my liking and longing for you. But that doesn't mean she can say that.

However I chewed on my lips when you said "say a name I'll just say yes"

I prayed she doesn't say my name.

I didn't want to see your expression. I wanted to disappear. I'm lucky we drifted off elsewhere.

That one time you mentioned your girl cousin just shattered my hopes like anything. I was lame enough to think of changing myself for you.

All these treasures I have stored in my memory. My limbic system seems to revise it from time to time. Hippocampus has hammered your voice, smile and handwriting in my mind.

After a really long time,we met over a Google meet few months ago. 3 years 3 months later.

After avoiding many Google meets just because I'd have to see you,I never thought you'd join us for playing a guess the word game online.

My name in your voice still echoes in my head.

When you asked me about "Aot" and asked how far I've seen it? I wanted to thank my overtalkative nosy school bestie from every nucleus of my being. She definitely spilled the tea to you that I became an anime geek.

And then I said season 3 is done and i stopped 4 cause I had exams.

You didn't tease me calling names as "topper" or "lame" or "grey matter". You wished me luck instead. You even recommended me to watch demon slayer. I mean...how can you be so cute?

I bet you've gotten taller than class 10. I bet many more girls fell for you. For your laugh. Those damn eyes and that damn smile.

Only I know how much I avoided jimin just because he has the same smile as yours and he sang a cover of love yourself by jb. That song that made me realize my liking for you as the lyrics came from your vocal cords.

~~

Today I think I had a moment with a new crush at medical school. I mean he looked cool and so huggable when he put his hand in his apron pockets. And as he showed me the way to feel Aditus to the lesser sac I kinda felt I showed him the way to my heart.

But

I miss you.

I miss you calling me nerd

I miss you making fun of me for not watching the mv of what do you mean by jb.

I miss you calling me lame

I miss you calling me grey matter.

I miss your laugh.

I miss how you argue with your friends about how cr7 is better than messi

I miss how you diss some of our teachers

I miss how you call our chemistry sir pauly

I miss your scent

I miss staring at your back as you walk away.

I miss trying to learn rap God by Eminem just because you learnt it.

I miss how you played grandpa Abel merry weather in that drama lesson we had as I played once as a narrator and then as your daughter.

I miss how you asked me for answer sheets.

I miss how you taught me some physics and then flexed in front of the whole class saying you taught the class topper.

I wish I told you I like you.

But I really wish I didn't.

Maybe then....you would've told me off saying its my hormones talking. Knowing the kind of well mannered guy you are I know that's what you do.

I can't let you be my friend if friends are all we'll get to be.

I hope your dad doesn't scold you anymore.

I know as I moved out of hometown today we live in the same city.

I hope I can meet you someday.

Better still listen to your voice some day.

I really wish I could call you. Ring you up one day out of the blue.

But I'm not a conversationalist to begin with a definitely not one with you.

~~

Even as I type this...my fidgety fingers type many errors and my heart is palpitating.

I wish you're safe and sound.

P.S even after thinking I have a crush on a guy, here in medical school I can only wish you were here.

I like you so much.

Take care and stay healthy!

I may become a doctor but I don't want you to be negligent.

With love,

Your admirer

Always have, always will.

♡ ♡ ♡ he finally saw ARMY at home after a long time  ♡ ♡ ♡

Which is why this is my favorite character in the dramas I watched. Baek yijin is a guy who knows what's he's doing (most of the times)

I think its so incredibly important that Yijin didn’t kiss Heedo back.

All he did was close his eyes, didn’t kiss her back, didn’t hold her, and kept his hands where they were. This is so powerful in that Yijin is giving all the choice to Heedo. It parallels how he confessed to Heedo yet expected nothing in return. In this scenario, Yijin let Heedo do what she wants—not pushing her away and more importantly, not pulling her closer.

After getting over the initial shock and butterflies of seeing this scene, it gave me a bit of mixed feelings since Yijin is obviously older. But now that I think about it, its the most mature decision based on who Yijin is. It would’ve been easy for him to pull her closer, since we all know how he feels about her. But he didn’t. All the power, consent, and initiation is on Heedo and she can pull away whenever she wants to without any sort of influence from Yijin.

Seesaw demo version!!!!!

Hi!! I’m sorry for keep adding your to do list🤧 but I’ve been looking for Member x Chubby!Reader for a while, I hope you could help me🥺 but don’t worry, take your time!! I can wait forever, thankyou sweetheart!❤️❤️

🌷 It's okay! I can answer this right away because I don't think we have a lot of fics in this category. If others have recommendations, please feel free to share! 😊

Here's what I got:

Starfruit by @inkedtae - Hoseok, camboy au

Tale of Eros by @/inkedtae - Jungkook, greek mythology au, the Eros and Fountain of Fountasies fics

Tteokbokki by @taetaesbaebaepsae - jungkook x waitress

Author @sweetwritertanya has a whole masterlist of member x chubby!reader to splurge on.

Another author I remember that write kpop x curvy!reader is @voluptuous-love-4-kpop. But I don't think they write anymore. Masterlist

Confidence is Key @untaemedqueen - thank you @kb-bangtanenthusiast for recc'ing this

Thic Trilogy @btsinned - Hybrid AU, CEO AU

Supermodel (ongoing) @koogalore - ex bf!jk

Chained to You @addicktjimin - shy!oc x popular jimin

All That Matters @yoonminnings - insecure OC who met yoongi’s ex (ex was pretty mean to her and kept remarking on her weight 😥)

Past, Present, Future @happy-meo - jin x reader “You weren’t the ideal body type, far from it, but Jin loved you all the same. “

Don’t Let Go @jiminimoon - fiance’ yoongi 

Caramel Candy @gold-gguk - taehyung x established relationship

Hope this helps somehow 🥺. ♥️

edited. included recs from other readers. added new titles

❤

galaxies in his eyes ✨ (cr. outroher)