Am I Enough PT 7

Am I Enough PT 7

Bucky X Reader

Summary: A fire brings the group back together. How will things play out with Bucky and will his feelings hold strong?

Warnings: Fluff, overstimulated avengers, little angst.

A/N: SUPRISE!! I finished it early. This is a little long so beware. Also, I hope it isn’t repetitive I wanted to display both sides of the story, so let me know if it worked.

“You’re a jerk you know that? You make me feel all these things for you and then rip it away from me. Tell me, did you enjoy it? Enjoy leading me on, was it some sick game to you two? ‘Oh look, let’s see how long I can string her along before she realizes it all means nothing.’ Well, I’m happy I could entertain you. Gah, I was so stupid for believing any of it. I can barely look at you now.”

Bucky POV

After the call came in he started to freak out a little. She was coming back, how was he supposed to act. He knew he had to prove himself to the others and her but… but what? Did he go meet her at the hanger? Should he try to apologize? Maybe he should just stay out of the way?

He decided that staying away would be best, when the next call came, announcing she was about to land, everyone practically ran to the elevator. Each trying to be the first to see her. He stayed back, he had decided maybe the subtle way, was the best way. So dinner for the group it was. Pulling out the necessary equipment he got to work. Choosing what to make was relatively easy, he remembered always catch a small smile and an obvious twinkle in (Y/N)’s eyes when people announced pasta for dinner. She had a weakness for warm bread and (Y/F/S).

He had just put the water on when he heard the clamor from the living room, all of them practically tumbling out the elevator, one talking over the others. They craved her attention, she had a goofy smile on her face as they each tried to one-up the other with their stories. Suddenly she glances over, eyes connecting with his. She pauses in her step, briefly taking him in. Man, he wants to go over there to hug her but before he can, she simply sends him a small nod before proceeding to the couch with the others.

He blinks what had just happened, there was no way she should be acknowledging his presence. He thought she wouldn’t even want to see him, ignore he even existed. Feeling his blood begin to boil he pauses dinner, maybe she wasn’t as upset about the breakup. She had made it seem like it was this big deal this irreparable harm to her and she was smiling at him.

Wait no, he shakes his head, she has to be putting up a front. Trying not to ruin her reunion with her friends. He sighs to himself, how can he believe she didn’t care anymore? Why was he so angry right now? She just got back he was trying to fix all of this. Focusing back on dinner he didn’t hear Sam walk into the kitchen.

“What’s going through that head of yours?” Sam asks leaning against one of the counters arms folded.

“Too much.” Bucky is surprised by how open he is with Sam nowadays. Usually, he would go to his automatic reply, nothing. He turns to Sam studying him, what was it that made him open up to this guy so easily.

“What I got something on my face?” He runs his hands over it trying to wipe away whatever was there. Bucky simply shakes his head. “We can talk about it later if you want? I was just seeing if I could help you with dinner.”

He has a knowing grin on his face. Revealing that he knew exactly why Bucky was doing all of this. He nods and directs him to the bread, garlic bread was high on her list of favorites. They work in silent tandem, each knowing what the other was doing and moving on to the next task without asking. Every once in a while Bucky would look up, making sure she was still there, fearing she changed her mind and fled once more. He couldn’t help the pause in his actions at moments when she would let out a laugh, one that practically split her face. They listened to the team continue to yammer away, it made both of them smile knowing how much (Y/N) was loved here in the group.

With the table set up and dinner is placed on the table, everyone files in. There is a brief scuffle on who is sitting next to (Y/N) and across from her. Everyone eventually gets settled except Sam, Bucky, and Nat. Bucky brings the last of the food placing the bread directly in front of her. While he is leaning over (Y/N), Nat shuffles in, both of them tense taking the other in. Nat drops her head and took a seat as far away for her as she could.

There was a moment of silence before, “Dibs!!” Sam shouted grabbing the pasta. The rest dived in filling their plates. Bucky couldn’t help but take in the group. This is how it should be, what it always should have been. A family together, enjoying a meal. The meal continues, no one acknowledges the underlining tension between the team members.

After wrapping up they decide to reconvene in the living room for a movie night. They went to their separate quarters to get pajamas, blankets, and pillows. Bucky retreated, quickly changing and grabbing his favorite blanket, (Y/N) had picked it out of course but he had grown even more attached to it of late.

Swinging out of his door, he ran smack into someone. They bounced off and he instinctively reached out pulling them against him to steady them both. He looked down, he was met with (Y/E/C) eyes. It wasn’t just anyone it was (Y/N).

Y/N POV

The flight had been quick, you didn’t have much left after the fire was put out. The whole ride had you twitching though. The closer you got the more the twitch became more prominent. Sam at one point reached over and started to stroke your hand holding it still.

When you got off the plane you were bombarded with people and hugs. Each trying to squeeze there way into your arms. Man, you had missed them. You hadn’t quite realized how much until they were here. You were home. They pulled you toward the elevator, not wanting to be left out they all crammed in. When you exited, you were laughing at a story the Thor had just told. You cracked up, he had such a never could quite grasp Earth’s ways. As you looked up to take in the place you are met with those steel blue eyes. You freeze. Not ready, not ready, NOT READY. You were here though.

‘Focus, don’t let him see the pain (Y/N)’ you pep talked your self. You shoot him a small smile. ‘Nailed It’ you give yourself a mental fist bump. You could do this.

Your friend continues to fight for your attention all the way until dinner is called. They even fought over who was sitting closest to you. As they settled the final few struggled in that when you saw her. She was pale and her hair stood out even more against her. Her eyes were rimmed in red and the bags beneath her eyes suggested she hadn’t been sleeping well at all. You felt a twinge of sadness, you had never seen her like this. She was the strong one of the group. Heck, she had gotten what, no who she wanted. She drops her eyes and sits.

It was the perfect meal back. You knew Bucky had made it with you in mind. You had caught a few of the looks he sent you while preparing the meal. Drenching your pasta in the sauce. The bread almost made you moan, there was a slight eye flutter at the first bite.

When the meal was done and the movie night called you waited for the room to clear. You pulled Sam back, “I don’t know if I can do this.” You whispered to him, pulling on his arm as you tried to pull yourself together. “I don’t know how to act, how do I not fall apart while he is in the room?”

Sam chuckles shaking his head at you, “I think you're doing just fine if anything I should be asking you how you are managing it. You pulled off being ok better than anyone I have ever seen. As for now, Bucky is trying to make amends just keep that in mind alright?” You nod before turning toward your room.

You speed up not wanting anyone to wait on you. Not paying attention you run straight into a brick wall or so it felt like. When the walls arms came and wrapped around you gripping you close your eyes shot up meeting his. Well, crap!

“You alright?” He says after a moment of you two taking each other in. For some reason, you can’t take your eyes off each other. He searches your face looking for answers and reactions to the situation.

You give a small nod, “Yeah, sorry about that. Too excited for the movie night.”

“Oh yeah been a while since we had one. I just hope it’s a better movie than last time.”

“Hey! Volcanos in New York wasn’t that bad. It could happen here.” You have the smile on your face now remember that last movie. Cheesy to the extreme.

You both chuckle at the memory. You can't help but take in his face and the joy on it. You missed it. As soon as that thought ran through your head, you both realize what is happening and an awkwardness settles over you. You clear your throat and step away.

“I…I better get going before they send a search squad.” He only dips his head in acknowledgment. Turning your head away from him. “Oh and Bucky?” You swing your head back, he hadn’t moved just lifted his head up to look at you. “Thank you for dinner it was perfect.” You jog away. Leaving a very confused and shaken Bucky in your wake.

You enter the living room to find everyone present surprisingly. You find Sam on the love seat and almost by automatic response plop down next to him swinging your legs over his. He starts to rub your calves while you get comfy. You start to converse with Sam chatting and laughing when you noticed an odd silence about you.

You turn to the group, they all had eyes on the two of you. You cock your head to the side, asking a silent question of what’s going on.

“Aren’t you two lovebirds getting cozy.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows at you and you start to blush. Sam lets out a laugh. He pulls your legs into him.

“She’s mine now, shouldn’t have left me all alone with her. But really I just like these legs. So pretty, so soft. My precious.” He strokes your leg whole channeling his inner Smegal. There are snickers throughout. “Nah, nothing going on here, we just got used to our late night talks is all.”

The group nods, “So what are we watching?” You ask to get the subject off of you.

“I think, you should pick, but since it is you it will be (Y/F/M).” You nod. Gotcha there, you tend to be predictable when it came to movies. The movie begins and the room goes quiet. Even if it was your favorite, you feel your eyes grow heavy. Soon you're nodding off snuggling even closer to Sam. No one noticed until the whispers started. You shifted in your seat, settling for the moment. A couple minutes later you do it again but with tears dropping down. Sam quickly gathers you up, pulling you in close to him.

“Ahhh, shh I gotcha baby girl, calm down it’s just a dream.” He’s running his hands along your back and legs, gripping you close. After a moment you go limp and slumber again.

He casts his eyes up taking in the team. The heartbreak is evident, a few guilty, some for witnessing it others being the cause of it. “Hey everyone relaxes, it happens. We all get them. She doesn’t have as many now but they pop up. We are working on them. Right now she just needs support and not too many questions.”

The group nods. Seeing their affirmation he stands up with you taking you to your room. He tucks you in and smoothes your hair back. You would be ok. You were strong and so freaking stubborn. Either way, you would make it and he would be there to help.

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Am I Enough PT 4

Am I Enough PT 4

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Their plan didn’t quite work the way they wanted. The fight that ended it all comes out and details revealed.

Warnings: as always angst, self-doubt, Bucky is a naive jerk.

A/N: So I thought it was time that we knew where this whole debacle started and who Bucky’s partner in passion is. Though you’re all smart cookies and probably figured it out already. Be prepared for the hurt. As always feedback is appreciated!!

“Can you tell me what I did to drive you away? And don’t pull that ‘you have to distance yourself to keep me safe’ crap. It didn’t work before it certainly won’t work now. I know I’m not the best-looking person in the world. Hey, I can even understand why you would look elsewhere. You always did deserve better. I’m just normal, right? You must have realized that normal wasn’t good enough. Just a phase. Easily replaced with someone better. Gah, why? I shouldn’t have fallen, everyone told me it was too good to be true. It felt so good though, so right. Did you ever once feel the same? Or was it nothing but pity? Did my little sob story strike a cord so you dated me to make me feel like the world wasn’t as hopeless as it really is? I get it, alright, people like me don’t ever get the guy.”

Y/N POV

You went to dinner with the team, it was like nothing had ever happened. You laughed and shared stories. Tony, of course, insisted that he pay the bill swinging his card at the star-struck staff. They had been recognized almost instantly, granted they hadn’t really even tried to go incognito. The place had gone out of its way to set up a more private area so you could eat in peace. The occasional die-hard fan coming for an autograph. Overall though, it was like you were home.

You parted ways after dinner, they couldn’t all fit in your apartment. They refused to leave though until you were for sure coming back to them. Sam had a brief talk, explaining where you were at and asking them to respect your decision. They begrudgingly agreed they all understood because they would ask the same for themselves. You grabbed Wanda silently telling to stay but loudly saying “Can’t stay with a bunch of stupid boys”

You both got ready for bed. There was a slight awkwardness to the air, Wanda obviously wanted to ask you about what happened, but at the same time not push you to talk. Once you were both tucked in you let out a sigh, “Go ahead Wanda ask away, I can feel your questions eating at me already.”

“That obvious?” Wanda chuckled. You nod, a slight chuckle leaving you as well. “Ok, I don’t know what to ask first? But what happened? I mean what really happened?”

“Just going to jump right in I see.” You take a deep breath “There’s not much to say, he doesn’t love me anymore at least not as much as I thought. He … I … I caught him cheating on me. I kinda knew deep down that he was slipping away from me but I thought it would get better. I wish he,” your throat was closing up and tears were filling your eyes “I wish he had just broken up with me not just …” You couldn’t keep going. It was too soon, too fresh.

“Stop,” Wanda begged to pull you into her and stroking your head. “Stop defending him, he had no right to do what he did. He was a coward for doing it.”

“I know, but I can’t help feeling that I deserved it. I must have done something wrong and pushed him over the edge. I mean look at her and look at me it’s no competition who he would pick.”

“Who? No one knows who it was. How did you find out?” Wanda shook her head. She was confused, they knew it was Bucky that cheated but who the woman was. There were rumors of course, but no one quite knew the full story.

You were pulled back to that day all too easily. The team had just gotten back from a week-long mission just the night before. Bucky had told you not to come that night as they would be getting back late. So after reluctantly agreeing you decided to head there in the morning to make him and the team a surprise breakfast.

You got everything you needed for a giant pancake feast. From bacon to juice you had it all. After setting the table up you asked FRIDAY to send everyone down. They slowly trickled in one by one, for the most part, they had all made it in. You decided to wake up Bucky and bring him down. He was never a morning person so he was probably still snoring away, you creep up to the door. You turn the knob carefully and push the door not making a noise. What you are met with is a very awake Bucky, he was supported on his elbows, butt naked, and lips locked with the woman beneath him.

You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. You waited to hope that you would wake up. They flip over changing positions. All you take in is the color at first, that striking fire color. From there you took in every curve, every slope, the perfect figure, but it was mostly how perfectly they seemed to fit together. Each movement seemed to blend and seemed so in sync with each other. It wasn’t till they started whispering sweet nothings that you felt anything. The names tore into you, each one a little dagger that ripped your heart out. Just as they finished together, you must have made a noise because both their heads whipped around to face you.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…. I… surprise… never…. never mind.” You back away, trying to wipe the whole scene away. You drop your eyes to the floor not wanting to see it. There’s a buzz in your ear growing louder with each passing second. Bolting out of the room, you stumble back into the living room. There are no tears just shock, on your face, the others look up to see you.

“Hey what’s the matter?” Steve asks rising slightly. You straighten, you couldn’t tell then it was too embarrassing and it might hurt the dynamic. You should have seen this coming, for all you knew everyone already knew and was waiting for you to catch on. You shake your head trying to clear it.

“Nothing just saw something I don’t want to see again.” You start packing your things intent on getting out.

“What about Bucky?”

“He’ll be right down. I gotta go. To work, yeah to work.” You shove a few more things in your bag, before swinging it onto your back. The sound of pounding feet coming down the hallway made you hurry. You didn’t make it, Bucky swung around the corner.

“(Y/N), please wait let me explain. Stop please.” He begged to grab your elbow. You turn to look at him, looking over toward the group to see the stares. You nod and pull him away, leading him to a spare room.

You remember the fight but it was mostly the silence from his end, he didn’t say anything after trying to explain. He loved her, there was a connection that he didn’t get with you. Of course, he did, any guy would have it and from what you had seen it was true. You should have seen it, in what far-out world did you ever think that this ended with your happy ending.

It was nothing but tears and a raised voice from you, saying anything and doubting everything in your relationship. He just looked away, never trying to stop you. He never once told you-you were wrong, that what you had was special. No, it was all a lie a wonderful, blissful lie. When you were done he simply stood up and told you to be gone, that he didn’t want anything to do with you. He was revoking your rights to the tower after your stuff was gone. Lucky for you he had said that they were leaving on another mission in a couple days.

You stumbled out and headed for the back stairs, not wanting to see anyone. Two days later you packed your stuff and left.

Wanda looked down at you, “Nat…Nat slept with Bucky?” You nod confirming. “But you guys were like best friends, the three of you attached at the hip.” She couldn’t believe it. Natasha wouldn’t do that, not to you and not with him. You two had bonded so well. You were almost sister, if there was shopping to be done you could be seen attached at the hip heading out the door together.

“Yes, but he loves her so why wouldn’t he. I mean they have a ‘connection’, a past together, why wouldn’t he love her.” You could feel the tears working back up choking you. “I thought for once, I could be enough for someone. I know I’m not gorgeous or even pretty, but he” you taking a shuddering breath in. “He told me he loved how normal I am, that I brought him peace. That I made him believe he could have a future one day. I guess I thought it would be our future together. That I wasn’t some placeholder to fill up the time.” You could barely breathe, you broke again.

It was the first time you had spoken about what happened. You hadn’t just lost a boyfriend, you lost one of your best friends. It tore your heart even further apart, you weren’t sure there was much left at this point. Let alone if you could ever put it back together again, but maybe it was better this way. You could stop getting your hopes up and save yourself some tears.

You clutch onto Wanda in some desperate hope that she could hold you together while you were crumbling apart.

Bucky POV

He looked down at her while she slept curled away from him. Her eyes were still rimmed in red and a small sniffle escaping between the murmurs. Nat had come in crying, he had been reading on the bed and to see this strong woman out of character he immediately rose taking her in his arms. She had cried, great sobs that wracked her body. When they had finally calmed he led her to the bed stroking her back gently.

“I can’t do this. I shouldn’t have done this to her. She was my best friend.” She sniffles tears beginning again. “How could I?”

Bucky held her thinking about what she was saying. He hadn’t thought about Natasha in this whole situation. He had started to really notice her while (Y/N) and she was hanging out. Bucky had practically been the third wheel on those adventures.

It came as a shock to him how close the group of them had gotten. The three had enjoyed movies and New York food adventures that took them to the best and shadiest parts of New York. Through it all, they became friends seeing each other weaknesses and strengths. As he had learned about (Y/N) he had gotten to better understand Natasha.

It had started with lingering gazes while (Y/N) was grabbing something or had her back turned. It turned to touches that trailed up and down arms and legs, making it seem like a mere accident but prolonging it as much as possible.

The first kiss happened after movie night, they had been trading looks over (Y/N) shoulder as she nestled into Bucky’s side. His fingers running through her hair sent her to sleep about half way through the movie. As they started up the next she had awakened and shuffled her way back to the room with promises that Bucky would be there shortly.

Natasha had scooted closer and as she entered his reach, his arms wrapping around her pulling her closer. Their eyes clicked and suddenly they lurched toward each other lips tangling together in the heat of the moment. As they separated, they were panting staring at each other debating if this was a good idea or would ruin everything.

It had grown from there each stealing moments from the other in till that fateful day. It had been a late mission and having successfully diverting you from coming to see him, he spent the night with Natasha in his arms. That morning he had woken up to her stretching on top of him. It had been so heated he missed the door opening and (Y/N) stepping in.

It was a strangled gasp that grabbed both of them whipping their heads around. When they looked at the door the dread that built was spiked when he saw (Y/N) standing there. He hadn’t seen a more broken-hearted look on someone’s face since he had been the Solider. She had tears gathered in her eyes and but it was the emotion he found there that made him start to regret all his decisions with Natasha. As soon as she bolted he got up looking for clothes before chasing her.

He prayed (Y/N) hadn’t left yet. He needs to tell her what happened. Why he did what he did. But it was mostly to get that look off her face. How could he be the one to put that look there, after all the late night talks they had about her looks and her insecurities about never being good enough for him. He went and did the one thing that would make all of that seem true. Even when he knew better than anyone that they weren’t.

He caught her in the kitchen, not seeing anything else he grabbed her elbow pulling her back, begging her not to leave. He dragged him to another room before she turned on him. “(Y/N), please let me explain.” He was pleading, no begging her to listen. He needed to make it right. He explained it to her everything he felt. He was finally open about how he felt about Natasha. When he looked up what he got was even worse than before. There was an understanding look but it was so twisted. It had anger and sadness but most of all it was defeat. He stepped forward, it was obvious he hadn’t explained enough to make her understand. She raised her hands to block him from moving any farther.

“You love her, and you love me but you don’t love me as much as you love her. Right? So why didn’t you just break it off then? You promised you would stay with me. That nothing on Earth could stop you from breaking that promise. What did I Do?”

He looked down. He didn’t know what to say but with each word she spoke a dagger could be felt digging into him. She continued on questioning and berating him. Wondering where she went wrong, how she had managed to screw up so bad that he sought another. She kept going never once letting him explain. So he got angry, she had the whole thing figured out, did she? He couldn’t stand the looks anymore, he was trying to make it right. Natasha was the better choice, wasn’t she?

When she fell silent he tensed waiting for a moment to see if she had more to say. “Are you done?” She nodded. “Good then get out I don’t want to see you again, all you junk needs to be gone when I get back from this mission understand. As for your Tower privileges as soon as you leave consider them revoked.”

He couldn’t stop himself, there was this burning in his gut. It was eating at him nagging his every move and it wouldn’t go away. She simply nodded and left. He turned, a small part waiting for her to come back so he could apologize for his words his tone. Instead, he left and went back to the kitchen to pretend that he hadn’t just lost his best friend.

He focused back on Nat sleeping, that feeling hadn’t gone away yet. He had to fix this. Nat had been right how could they? He turned away from her a settled into his own restless dreams, ones of tears and a broken-hearted girl.

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I'll Be Here Part 2

Steve X Reader

Warnings: angst and little fluff, super long because I can’t help myself

A/N: So this thing here is going to have 3 parts I believe and as stated this us part 2.I have learned not to rush posting something especially when I'm tired. Thank you again so much for reading these it is a great confidence booster and I am really enjoying myself. As always feedback is appreciated. Oh and thank you to my very first asked to be tagged person @veronicalei Part 1 has been updated.

Summary: After splitting up with Steve to let him get away with Bucky you are captured and with it comes to some consequences you didn’t expect to face. Will you ever escape your prison?

They had swarmed the building, guns pointed and threats made you paralyzed some putting up no real fight because at the end of the day you had done your crime and now you had to pay for it. This would keep everyone safe as well, and not just from Secretary Ross but from yourself as well. 

When they had surrounded you, you put your hands up behind your head and sunk to your knees letting them approach you. It didn’t really help because they still threw you to the ground and forcibly cuffed you. When you were subdued they call him in. He stalked towards you a smug grin on his face as he looked down upon you. 

“Oh, I’m going to get such pleasure from putting you away in the little hidey hole that I have planned. You will never see the light of day again.” He was practically cackling at the thought. 

You don’t speak merely stare at him, unnerving him with you uninterested glare. He could do his worse, there wasn’t exactly anything out here to come back to anyway. While they loaded you into an armored truck you glanced around one last time. Hoping that maybe Steve or someone had stuck around to see you carted off. That he would know to come to rescue you, but why would he when you specifically told Sam not to let him.

The doors shut with a bang they have surrounded you with four guards even though you have no intention of going anywhere, not that they knew that but still. After about 10 minutes into your journey, the guard on your left suddenly shifts, taking his baton out and striking you hard in the stomach. You told in half with the pain.

“That was for Mac, you crazy animal.” He hisses. The others have drawn closet as well, each of them taking their hits but never where you couldn’t cover it up. You guess this wi be a normal thing now, you draw into yourself hoping the pain will lessen but they continue each strike causing more pain. Your grunts and whimpers are the only vocal sound in the truck. Finally, the trucks slow to a stop, the guards all sit back with grins on their faces while you attempt to straighten yourself gulping in as much air as you can.

The doors swing open and the first two get out, they escort you to a nearby jet and you all are soon on your way out over the sea. Ross’s voice can be heard talking to the guards, “I know you were upset, but couldn’t you have waited till we were on the Raft to do this? I want him to see her original state and then do whatever else he has planned.“ 

You shudder half from the pain, half the thought of what this person could possibly have planned. They leave you alone for the remainder of the trip, this being a few hours. Upon landing they cart you out dragging you inside a large hanger. You can see several runs of water coming down from the ceiling it was either raining or you were in a submersible you decide. Not good if it was the later. You are quickly escorted and handed over to another set of guards who proceed to file you through a check-in process. They strip you of everything you own, your clothes are gone and replaced with a hospital gown. Weapons and everything else confiscated. Instead, they hand you another set of standard inmate uniform.

They then lead you to the next station where a collar is fitted around your neck. They then explain that this was for special inmates like yourself and whenever you did something out of line they would emit an electric pulse through you. They then added that they also did it when just looking at you pissed them off, like right now. They hit the switch and you spasmed falling to your knees as it courses through you. They all had a good laugh at your expense. 

You took too long getting up so they hooked their arms under yours and lifted you to what seemed to be a doctor’s office. The doctor tapped on his pad pulling up a new patient file with your name on it. He read over the slim notes before getting to work inputting your data. Blood samples were taken and you were escorted to your new cell, your home for the next eternity as they put it. 

You curled in the bed and shut the world out. This was you state for the next couple days, you never really moved you certainly never are or drank anything just laid there.

You cell opened and two guards came in forcing you up. You were still pretty sore from your last encounter so again they drag you back to the doctor’s office. You were laid down on a bed your hands and feet then strapped down. You start to panic unsure of what will happen next. The doctor walks up with a small tray of instruments, most of them being needles of various sizes.

"Welcome Miss (Y/L/N), my name is Dr. Krieger, we are going to try to cure you then we may be able to release you to a normal facility. But for now your my guest for a while. I have to say you have the most interesting blood I’ve seen in a while. Oh, what you must have gone through to get this.” He chuckles darkly while moving around you. “Well, no matter let’s get started.” He claps his hand and reaches for the first syringe. “We are going to try and cure each individual toxin and see how that goes.”

He takes the first and injects it into you. It feels like fire burning through your veins. It spreads through your body causing you to spasm and groan at the pain. “Interesting.” You hear him mutter. This goes on for a long time, how long you’re not sure, he continues with the same one injecting it every few hours you would say.

After an eternity, he takes one more sample of blood and dismisses you from the room. You are carried to your cell and locked in. This goes one for a couple days, the same routine hours of pain and back to your cell. The doctor has made note of the changes in you, your skin has a blueish tint, your eyes are still purple but a yellow-grey fog now surrounds them. The “cures” aren’t doing anything at all, in fact, they seem to be killing you instead. 

On day three, about halfway through you are dismissed by the doctor to go welcome some guests. Taken back you are propped up against the wall nearest the glass door. Once you are sealed inside, the main door opens and Sam, Wanda, Clint, and a man you’ve come to know as Scott, are marched in with Secretary Ross leading them.

“Look who’s here to see you!” He exclaims to you waving his arm back motioning to the others. “I’ve almost got the complete set. Though now from the looks of you I might be down one soon. I will have to speak to the doctor. Not so high and mighty now are we.” He sneers at you and lets everyone see you. 

They all gasp, you didn’t know what you looked like but from the response, it must not have been good. You can’t even raise your hand you are so weak. Wanda tears up, even though she is the one with a collar like you and a straight jacket. 

You hear Sam whisper “No” then he and Clint lunges forward toward Ross, the guards hold them back. “This, this is your great plan to lock us up for not doing what you say. To torture us till we comply. You’re no better than Hydra. Heck, I would take them over you any day." 

"Well lucky for you, you’re stuck with me for a very long time.” Ross snickers and turns away heading out the door. 

“You won’t get away with this. He will come and everyone will know what you really are.”

Ross simply waves a hand at Sam, the door closes. Each person is escorted and locked into their cages. Sam presses himself against the glass trying to get a better look at you. You head had fallen down now leaning against the door.

“Hey, (Y/N) Look at me. What did they do? What did these freaks do to you?”

You couldn’t reply as much as you wanted to. The guards eventually came back and took you to Dr. Keigal to complete your session with him. Not that it had ever gone right, but this time something really went wrong with the treatment, you had just gotten back when you started to convulse on the bed. Sam screams your name and calls for the guards. By the time anyone got there it had died out but a small trail of blood could be seen from the corner of your mouth. The guards called Dr. Kreiger, he determined nothing could be done gave you a mild sedative and left. 

Falling into an uneasy slumber, you had no real control over your body. While you were out you started to mumble, “I’ll be here, I will be here.”

You had always said this to Steve, no one really knows why but you did and now that Steve wasn’t here it broke their hearts, you were calling for him. Sam signed he couldn’t look at you without feeling the tears build up. Clint laid down looking at the ceiling trying to control his rage. No one should go through this not ever.

The main door slide open revealing a beat up, Tony. Clint started to clap waking you from you light slumber. Your eyes peeled open, your heart stuttered see how bad of shape he was in not only physically but even in his body language you see an exhausted beaten man. You can’t quite make out their words yet you hear having yet to fully come back. It slowly fades in though. 

“You need anything?" 

Sam gives him a sneer. "Why don’t you ask the girls that?!” Tony turns first seeing Wanda he takes her in, when he turns towards you first he is surprised. Probably didn’t even know you were here, then his face falls taking you in. 

“What happened, how… Why is she like this?”

“You happened that’s what, you and that butt buddy Ross of yours, she was brought here before us when we got here she was already this bad." 

You see Tony’s face fell even more, you reach out your hand it shakes so much and is so heavy that you drop it almost immediately. Tony lurches forward slightly, Sam chuckles. 

"You don’t get the right to care what happens to her not anymore. You chose your side and now she pays the consequent for them. We are nothing but the enemy now." 

You try to shake your head but can’t you see the black swarming the edge of your vision pulling you in. To other, it looks like your shaking and then your eyes flutter close. They all sigh it’s the first real rest you had gotten. You again start to mumble a little, the same phrase "I’ll be here.”

“She’s waiting for him. You know she only says it to him.” Sam whispers. 

“Where is he?" 

When you next awaken Tony is gone and the others breathe a sigh of relief when you wake up. You had been out for several hours that they were unsure if you would ever wake up. You have gotten a bit of your strength back when you are next taken to Dr. Keigal he didn’t go about it his usual way. He seemed to be stuck. 

"It appears the cures are not working, in fact, it is killing you slowly. The cure has now become the poison in this case. We shall just have to find another way. You are so interesting my dear. This will be the most compelling thing I have ever done. I may even get published.” He starts to whistle, grabbing different things not really paying you any mind. He collects some samples and sends you on your way.

Dropped on the bed you turn to look at Sam, he is examining you trying to see if anything changed, not seeing anything he meets your gaze. 

“Wha… what.. what happened?” Your voice is sore from disuse. It comes out rust and shallows a mere whisper. It is so far removed from how you usually talk that it takes Sam a moment to collect himself. He starts with right where you left the picture. 

You listen to his story, the others input things as he goes in, completing the story. They even shared a smile when you learned that Steve had gotten up the courage to kiss Sharon. Your heart skips a little when you hear this. You meet Sams eyes after this and you can tell he knows what he said had hurt you.

“He’s going to come (Y/N) I promise.”

“I don’t doubt it, but I’ll stay here.” He tries to interrupt you, you shake your head. “No Sam we had a deal when he comes you make him leave me here. Not worth the risk to you guys I can barely move as it is. And…” You are choking up you remember what he had told you before you parted ways. “Steve knows what I am, I’ll just screw everything up again if I go.”

“You know he didn’t mean it like that, don’t give up please (Y/N).”

“Monsters belong in cages, heroes need to be free." 

Everyone looked at each other having absolutely no idea how to make you see that you were a hero, in more ways than one. If anything it was you that deserved to be out there the most. Sitting in silence, you all look at your present situation. Each was thinking of what they would do when they got out. You had nodded off again, once more muttering your phrase. 

"Why does she say that?” Scott asked. 

Clint responded, “She’s done that since I picked her up years ago, at first it was because she wanted people to know that she existed. She was kept by this mercenary group, stashed in a little closet all day. I think she did it to remind herself that she wasn’t going anywhere and she did, in fact, exist to others.”

Sam continued “it’s changed over the years though, we became family. She didn’t need to reassure her self as much anymore. She only says it to Steve now, but when I think about it its always as he’s leaving or during a mission.”

“What does it mean now?" 

You had awakened to hear Sam’s explanation. You turn to your side looking out "It meant I was there, I would be there to help whenever he needed me or how he needed me. Even if it meant getting captured or staying out of the way and not screwing up his plans." 

Sam and Clint looked at you in your bed torn to pieces both physically and mentally, there wasn’t much left of the person you used to be.  You had more convulsions through the night, no one ever came leaving you to ride them all through. Your skin was stretched and sunken into your face. The one that needed put the most was you.

Your heads all swung to the door when a cart could be heard rattling in. In stepped Dr. Kreigal. You tense up, the others start to growl. 

"Well hello my friends, I thought I would bring the fun to you. See what it is we do every day together. (Y/N), I hope you're ready I had time to go over your data and I want to try something new. I’m sure this will work.”

He rolls the cart into your cell and guards that came with strapped you down to your bed. The others were now shouting and banging against the glass, threatening him with anything they could imagine. Sam turns to grab something hoping to break the glass so he can get to you. Turning back around he finds Steve walking in, he rushes to the window pointing toward your open cell. He looks around to see the doctor uncaping the needle to start. Steve flew into action, pulling the doctor on away from you and into the wall.

The doctor let out an outraged scream, surging forward toward Steve. He tries to pry him away while Steve was undoing the straps around your legs. He twists and lands a punch once again sending the doctor back, but this time he doesn’t get back up, having been rendered unconscious. He goes back to finish loosening all the straps, once free he keeps you there while he liberates the others. Sam runs over to you and lifts you into his arms. You try a feeble attempt to push him back. Silently pleading with him to leave you here.

Sam doesn’t budge, “Hey you said Steve couldn’t save you, you never said I couldn’t. Let’s get you out of here." 

They all trudge out and into a waiting jet, a number of them are surprised to see T'Challa sitting in the pilot seat. Sam placed you down on a bench and began to strap you down for taking off. 

"No, please no.” You whimpered, flinching when he lifted the strap.

“We need to secure you for taking off then they can go. I promise no one will hurt you.”

You shake your head curling in on yourself to make it harder to strap you down. Seeing thus Steve walks over and picks you up, cradling you against his chest. He sits back down and straps himself in keep your firmly to his chest. “I got her.” Sam nods and walks away to find his own seat.

Take off is smooth and soon enough the plane levels out. Steve has started to stroke your thigh. The feeling relaxes you, so much you practically melt into him. Silence descends on the plane, the low grumble of the engine sending you to sleep. Steve feels the final bit of tension drain from you when he looks down, seeing your eyes closed in slumber.

He pulls you a little closer, he is having a hard time comprehending that he almost lost you. Even now looking at how frail you looked there was still a chance. He glances up to look at Sam the question already in his eyes.

“What happened to her?” He keeps his voice low, not wanting to wake you.

Sam looks down at you, “I don’t really know, she didn’t exactly tell us, but that quack doctor was pumping her full of something. It’s making her break down, she had convulsions all last night off and on wouldn’t be surprised if another one was on the way.”

He continues to tell him all the things that happened while they were in jail. After a moment of silence, Steve told them everything that had happened after their capture, even how Bucky was involved in Tony’s parents’ death. They were a little surprised but overall it wasn’t that unthinkable.

About halfway to their destination, your arm started to twitch. At first, Steve thought you were waking up, but the shake seemed to travel up your arm and spread through your body. He looks up panicked, “Sam what’s happening how do I stop this?”

“You don’t, just let it happen, hold her tight so she doesn’t hurt herself.” Steve immediately squeezes you, not that you could get any closer but he could try. It lasts about a minute, you quiet down and Steve loosens his arms just a little scared that you may begin again. He tears up how much pain you had gone through while you weren’t with him. 

“I’ll be here” you’ve mumbled as per usual now. “I’ll be here.” You shift closer to him. Gripping on to him, feeling his warmth and how solid he was you begin to wake up.

Very slowly you lift your eyelids and see a broad chest. You trail your eyes up to meet clear blue eyes above you. You start to tear up, he’s here, right in front of you. You can feel him, your not making him up. He’s back with you, tears make their way down your cheeks.

“I know I’m here,” h3 seems to read your thoughts exactly. “I’m not going anywhere. Please don’t cry I hate when you cry. Makes me want to cry.” He starts to wipe the tears away. Still telling you that everything was going to be ok. You continue to stare at each other for a while, caught in your own little bubble. Soon though your eyes drift shut with Steve looking down upon you.

“She’s been saying that a lot now in her sleep. I think she’s calling for you most times.” Sam says when he is sure she is asleep.

Steve doesn’t look up, “I know she really only says it to me and I enjoy it. It’s like our own little thing, but I know it means more than what she lets on." 

"You’ll have to ask her when she’s better.” They continue to stare at her in the quiet as they finish this journey. Both keen on protecting her from anything that might come your way. With your phase echoing around them, the plane soared through the air. “I’ll be here.”

@annadier

Am I Enough PT 3

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Bucky has hurt you, so you run away. Seeing no other option but the team can’t just give you up. It’s time for an intervention.

Warnings: angst but now fluff

A/N: Apologizes for the long wait. I was lacking words and didn’t want the story to fall flat. We finally get a back from the angst. Some fluff for you. Enjoy!

“Who knew? Did anyone know about this? Or did everyone know and just not say anything? No, they would have told me. I don’t understand, any of this. I love you and you still did all of it. No one forced you to do it, did my love mean so little to you that… No I don’t care it’s been done and from the looks of it, it’s been done many, many times. So why couldn’t you just end it either me or her. Did you really think you would get away with it? Be able to be with  both of us until you figured out which one you wanted the most?“ 

BUCKY POV

The team had been whispering to each other, making plans, when Bucky entered a room they hush up and send him glares. Not that he could blame them, he had screwed up. In fact he wasn’t sure how he could fix it. They had left this morning stating they had mission to go on, but he wasn’t allowed to come. He watched them leave turning back to the now near empty living quarters. 

He had taken Sam’s advice seriously, and from what he could see, was only (Y/N). Every place he sat and went was a memory of them or her. The bench in the park as he went on his run. She had been sitting there when he had gotten distracted and tripped landing face first in front of her. He remembered the snort that came out of her mouth quickly followed by her hand covering her mouth, before she quickly got up and offered him a hand up. He got pulled into the memory of their first meeting.

“Sir, are you alright?” She offered her hand to him, pulling him up. He brushed himself off. “Oh dear you’ve scrapped your knees let me find you a bandaid." 

While she turned he took her in, she wasn’t anything special to look at. Her (Y/H/C) hair fell in her face as she scrounged through her bag looking. From the brief glimpse as she pulled him up, her eyes were a nice shade of (Y/E/C). She was dressed causally nothing too fitted but not baggy, she looked comfy. 

 She started to pull things out of her bag still digging. Finally pulling out a bag she forced him to sit. Insisting she help him. If only she knew who she was talking to, a freaking soldier, and assassin that had always had to fix himself up. You had him patched and quickly packed you bag. Scurrung away from him, only leaving him with a view of your backpack. 

That darn bag it was almost attached to her, he remembered. The bag would change from time to time but you were seldom without it. She always said "You never know when you’re going to need something." 

More times than not she had something to help everyone. Tissues, wipes, and even a few games for when they got stuck somewhere. The team had quickly started to rely on her for the things you needed. (Y/N) became an essential for all Avenger outings, he recounted the many ways she worked to become each person’s friend. Creating something unique for each one, something that was strictly between the two. 

Bucky had tried to keep her a secret at first not really wanting to share his new friend with the team. She was something so normal and yet so perfect, the way she handled the things he told her, to treating him like everyone else. He was just another person, another friend she could have. 

So where had he got wrong where had he messed up and thought he could use you like he did? 

(Y/N) POV

You stretched, sore from sleeping in a slightly awkward position. Suddenly you felt arms around you tightening from you stirring. You crack your eyes open, heavy from the crying and itchy from dryness, your gaze is met by Steve. 

"Hey you’re awake." 

You nod moving to sit up. It’s then that there is a subtle noise filling your apartment. Turning your head you are met with the team stuffed in your room. Sam is even half in the bathroom to make room. You widen your eyes trying to take them in. You turn back to Steve checking that what you really see is true and not just a figment. Though from how each is behaving they are without a doubt real. 

They turn to look at you taking you in. "Not that I didn’t miss you guys but what are you all doing in my house?" 

"We’re on a mission!” Tony states stepping forward. 

“Huh, what kind of mission?” You ask, you didn’t think there was a Hydra base around here, but wouldn’t put it past them. 

“A really important mission. We are calling it Operation: Get (Y/N) Back and Beat Barnes Up For What He Did.” He states proudly. The rest if the team is shaking their heads obviously they hadn’t agreed to the name or all the details in the plan. 

You really had nothing to say to that. You couldn’t help but feel joy at the fact that they had come to get you, choosing you over Bucky. Steve presses on your shoulder turning your attention back to him. 

“Excluding what Tony said, you are our friend and we are here to help you. I know Bucky hurt you, I’m not condoning any of his actions but you didn’t have to leave like you did. Do you know how worried we were to suddenly find you had disappeared? You took all your things and left. I get you didn’t want to stay but you could’ve at least told us you were going.” He has put on his Captain America voice and firmly holding you so you don’t look away. By the end all you can do is nod, no you shouldn’t have done it. But there was a part of you that was glad you did. 

Tony claps his hands, drawing attention once again to himself. “Now that that’s all settled let’s get you packed up and back to New York.” The team starts to move, collecting items near them. 

“Whoa,” you stand holding up your hands to cease all further movement. “Who said I was going anywhere, I happen to have a two month lease and right now I don’t really feel like going back to New York. This is where I live now." 

They stare at you like you had grown a third head, "But the operation, we came to get you.” Tony says swinging his hands to indicate the team. 

“I know and I’m glad you did but,” you hold up you’re hand to stop Tony from speaking, “What he did to me doesn’t go away that quickly. He meant everything to me every single spot in Manhattan, heck all of New York City reminds me of him. I can’t just go back, let alone see him." 

Sam comes forward now, making Tony back up. "We aren’t asking for you to forgive him, we just hate to see you separate yourself and give up your life because of what he did.” He can see you getting agitated shaking your head. You couldn’t go back not yet. “(Y/N) let’s take a walk. Alright? It’s getting a little crowded and warm in here.”

You nod, taking the hand he has offered you. You head out walking to a park. You come to a bench sit down, Sam next to you. Quiet settles over the two of you, until you remember first meeting Bucky. 

“You know,” Sam perks up leaning toward you slightly. “Bucky and I first met in a park like this. I was sitting on a bench, I had a random day off and decided to take in a little nature. So there I am reading when he comes and trips over himself landing right in front of me. You should have seen him, faceplant right there, so of course I laughed. I felt bad and had to cover it up. When I pulled him up, man, the sun hit his eyes just right and it took my breath away." 

You got drawn into the memory, but continue to speak, forgetting for a moment everything that has happened since. 

"He was handsome, drop dead gorgeous, and I remember thinking that this must be some sort of prank because this doesn’t happen to girls like me. It happens in the movies or to the pretty girls. I had to look down, didn’t want to get caught up in something that could never happen. Huh, I should have kept to that thinking shouldn’t I?” She chuckled to herself before continuing. “I noticed he was bleeding so I went to my bag for bandaids. As luck would have it I couldn’t find them. So there I was embarrassing myself with this gorgeous man because I couldn’t find a stupid box of bandaids.

Sam laughs at this, this was so different from the way Bucky told the story. From his account you had saved his life single handedly with that bag of your. 

"I finally found them, had to make him sit down before I could put them on. He was stubborn wanted to do it himself. He didn’t quite know that I’m just as stubborn as he is. After I fixed him up I patted his leg and told him all good to go. It was then I realized I had put on princess bandaids. Man, if a person could die of embarrassment I would have then. I packed my bag up and scurried away before he noticed." 

Sam is laughing, your version was so much better than Bucky’s. He remembered that day, heck he was the one that pointed them out. He had complimented him on his taste in first aid bandages. He had just looked down saying someone had helped him. He went on to wear them for the rest of the day not caring about any other comments. 

You grew quite after your heart clenching painfully as you see how far you had come. This time it was Sam that broke the air. "I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through, but I’m here to help. I need you to believe that and to let me. Bucky wasn’t right in any fashion for what he did. Everyone knows that, but the reason they came here is because they didn’t want to lose you. They have lost so much, after knowing you and you becoming a friend to each of us, we aren’t going to just give you up. We are going to fight to make this right. You belong back with us. If you need time they will respect that, they may not agree but they will understand why.” He looks at you gauging your reaction to his words before continuing. 

“When you left it felt like we had lost someone all over again. That is hard, especially when in the business we are in one of may not come back. It is almost an unspoken rule to not get attached to anything or anyone outside of what we do. But you were an exception. You didn’t really give us an option for it either. I can’t count the number of times you have been there for me personally. Every hard mission, every life event you were a phone call or less away. I can’t thank you enough. I won’t lose that with you. I want … no need you to come back. I am though willing to wait for you because you mean that much to me." 

He leans over taking you into his arms, you realize that your crying. When you had left you hadn’t thought about how it would effect your friends. You needed them just as much as they needed you. You really didn’t have as close as friends as them anywhere else. 

"I’m sorry.” You sob to him clinging to his form. 

“Hey none of that you cry I’m going to cry. You don’t want to see me cry.” He rubs your back, gently shushing you. You relax in his grip as the tears slow but you don’t let go, not yet. You needed his comfort and his understanding. 

Time passes and you separate taking a deep breath. You look at him seeing his smile and triggering one of your own. 

“There’s my girl. Now let’s get you home and kick all these people out and grab some grub.” You chuckle and nod in agreement. 

Heading back to your apartment with Sam beside you, arm wrapped over your shoulder you knew you would be OK it would just take time. The best part was though was the friends you would have beside you. 

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety

Am I Enough PT 5

Am I Enough PT 5

Bucky X Reader

Warnings: angst and fluff, Tony being well Tony

Summary: The truth is out but will the rest of the team ever find out and how will it change their decision to bring you back?

A/N: So I thought I’d give you a brief but necessary break from the angst to start the chapter off. Sorry about any delay in posting I just want to make sure each chapter makes sense to you guys. Also, I love all the feedback and comments I’ve gotten makes me smile like a goofball even while at work.

“Why haven’t you said anything? You’re just standing there. Do I mean so little to you that you can’t even come up with some excuse? Unless everything I’ve said is true. I was some kind of a novelty to you, something to help build you back up but you didn’t have to really love? If you knew you loved her why drag whatever this is out? Answer me!!! You have a mouth use it. Never mind, I give up alright, that’s what you want I’ll go.”

Y/N POV

Your alarm startled you both awake, jerking up you proceeded to flop around looking for your phone. Finally hitting it you lay back, sighing, with everything that had gone on you had forgotten you had work this morning. Rolling over you push yourself up and head to the bathroom. You can hear Wanda shuffling around. When you exit she is at the stove cooking, you didn’t have much in the way of food so you wander over peering into the pan.

“Whatcha making there Wandaroo?” You slip your hands around her placing your head on her shoulder.

“Well you didn’t really have anything but I made you a breakfast sandwich of sorts.” You raise your eyebrow. How on earth did she manage that? There was toast on the plate with some of your leftover lunch turkey which was now seared off, she proceeded to slide some eggs with melted cheese on to the plate. Flipping the top price of toast on she handed it to you.

“Holy Cow, I should give up men altogether and just date you.” She chuckles and hands you a cup of coffee.

“I don’t know how well Vision would take that?” You nod in agreement. They had such an interesting relationship.

Finishing up you lean over and give her a peck on the cheek. “Well thank you, darling, for the food, but I must be off.”

Wanda chuckles at you and pushed you out the door. “You so dumb, off with you. Let me know when you’re done and we can meet up.”

“Will do.” Walking down the stairs you hear the chatter coming up the stairs. Suddenly your face to face with the guys, well most of them Tony is not present but you can guess where he is.

“As, perfect timing. Would you and Wanda like to join us for breakfast?” Steve asks drawing you into a hug.

“Unfortunately, I have work. These bills aren’t going to pay themselves. Also, the new love of my life has made me the most wonderful breakfast a girl could ask for.” You pull away and greet the other giving each their own tight squeeze while you work your way down the stairs. “Wanda though, I’m sure would be happy to go with you.”

With that, you turn and hop down the remaining steps. You head into work with a little spring in your step. This is the first day that you truly felt like everything was going to be ok. This traveled over into your work and even to your boss. So when your ever eager and meddling friends showed up.

“Oh wow, that’s so cute.”

“You like it let me get it for you.”

Your head whips around the corner. There in the store is was every single one of your friends. Shuffling around looking at everything but also trying not to hit anything. Wanda has picked up a few things and Tony is glancing and making comments on the quality and the “sellability” of the products.

You come out and wave your hands stopping the most movement from them. “What are you doing here?” You try to keep it down so your boss doesn’t come out. “I told you I would meet up with you after work.”

“We got bored and wanted to see this new work location. I must say it’s pretty decent. Good products. Hey Wanda what do you think about this for Pepper?” Tony got distracted looking at something in the jewelry case. “May I see this piece here?” You shuffle behind the case. Pulling out the one he wanted and set it on the top.

“Excellent, now would you recommend a matching necklace for this?” He continued to shop taking you throughout the store. Finally, he was done and you wrapped up his purchases throwing Wanda’s in as well. While your back was turned he began to seduce your boss. By the time you were done, she told you-you could leave early. You sigh no point in arguing now. You rush to the back gathering your things and head out. You practically had to push them out each intrigued by different things in the store.

“Ok now that I’m free who’s hungry?” Some groans of approval went around. The group chatted while wondering for a place to eat. Deciding to take it all to go and enjoy the outdoors you continue your trek to the nearest park.

Dinner was great until by some twist of fate Bucky and yourself came up again. You tensed shooting a glance at Wanda.

“I’m just saying (Y/N), it’s not a bad place to work and live but you have to come back,” Tony says.

“Yeah, this isn’t where you should be.” Steve nods in agreement.

“Guys I’m not staying here forever just a little while so I can heal. I could never leave you guys.” You hang your head. Hopefully, they would let it go. Of course, they didn’t.

“It can’t be all bad what he did. You shouldn’t just give up your life because he broke up with you.” You see Wanda tense, just as you were. Steve was trying to help you knew that but it made you angry. They were friends and he had picked you but it wasn’t that simple.

“It's not something that I can just forgive and forget, Steve.”

“We can work this out, as much as I don’t like Metal Arm we can fix this,” Tony interjected.

“Tony please don’t push it.” Wanda urged. It didn’t work because they both continued.

“What was so bad that you left?”

“I can make it better just tell me what you need.”

They pushed until you snapped shooting up. “Stop!” They both shut up. “Bucky cheated on me alright, he cheated on me with Natasha. Ok?!”

They stared at you mouths open. You passed away and came back. “He left me, told me to get my things and not come back. I just did what he wanted me to do.” Again you walked away running your hands through your hair. So much for a good day. You feel the tears build up again. Letting out a choked sob, you feel a pair of arms come around you pulling you in close. “Thanks, Sam.”

You glance up to see his eyes filled with tears. He forced your head against him. “I didn’t know, we shouldn’t have pushed you.” You hug him back nodding into his chest.

You glance at Tony, his face filled with rage. “I’m going to kill him.”

Bucky POV

He knew something up when he hadn’t heard anything from the team in a few days. Steve was still pretty clingy, he liked to check up on him. So far he hadn’t heard a peep from him in a couple days. He made his way to the kitchen to find Natasha hunched over in a kitchen chair. Her head in her hands. She hadn’t spoken to him since that night. He knew she was torn up.

“Hey, you alright?” He tried to place his hand on her shoulder only to have it rolled off.

“I’m fine.” She muttered.

“Oh ok, have you heard anything from the team. It’s unusual to not hear anything from them by now.”

“They're not on a mission.” She stands up and drifts toward the hallway back to her room.

“What? Where are they then?” He asks following her.

“Can’t you tell? They went to go get her. Did you honestly think they would just let her go like that? She is as much their friend as she is ours? Or was.” She continued down the hall no longer able to look at him. She paused once more. “I can’t do this anymore, Bucky. It was wrong and I think you know this but it was and always will be her that you need. You need to go get her back.” She walks away.

He stares after her. He knows she’s right. Ever since (Y/N) had been gone he had noticed everything he loved about her. The way she would snuggle up in her sleep one foot out because otherwise, it got to warm. Or the way she left her things in random places and then forget. He could always count on it bringing a smile to his face when she huffed around looking for whatever it was only to have him point it out in 3 seconds.

Even with all those things he couldn’t help but think why. Why had he gone and slept with Natalia? She was perfect. In every way and in everything. He didn’t have to rush around with her to find things. Didn’t ever hear her complain about what she should and shouldn’t eat to avoid getting pudgy. She was simple to be around, he didn’t need to think about anything.

He growled in frustration. Why was this happening? It should be easy to pick, it was sound logic to pick Natasha but something was holding him back something told him that it just wasn’t the right choice. He ran his hands through his hair entirely to annoyed with what was happening. With a grunt, he headed off the to the gym. Maybe beating on something would clear his mind.

After 2 hours of beating the sandbag, breaking 3 and the last hanging by a thread, he still was pent-up and frustrated. He began to pace the gym trying to release any bit of the anger or frustration. Finally, he snapped and let out a yell. All the emotion came out, each second granting him a little more clarity than the last moment.

Digging into his pocket he pulled out his phone. Swiping through he found the one name that he never called but maybe just maybe he would be the one to help. Dialing the phone ran just as it was to go to voicemail he picked up.

“Man, you have terrible timing you know that?” The voice said sounding slightly agitated.

“What? Sam I…. I need….. I need your help.” He felt sick just asking but knew that if this was ever going to be right he needed him.

“Well, that might be hard because Tony and the rest just found out what happened and it looks like the only help you’ll need is planning your funeral buddy.”

“Oh, crap!”

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch

I'll Be Here

Steve X Reader

Summary: You’ve always had a thing for Steve, since the beginning and like every perfect cliche story everyone but him knows it. From a questionable background with unusual gifts who could blame him for not noticing. Set during CA: CW, with a few changed details.

Warnings: ANGST,

A/N: I seem to have written quite a bit the last 2 weeks but I’ve loved all the responses I have gotten!!!! Thank you so much. Warning to you all this is not happy and ends in a cliffhanger, you have been warned! This is an edited version because I learned not to post when one is really tired and trying to rush things!

Supposedly this meeting was about setting boundaries and rules when it came being the Avengers. Not that that worked ever, waiting for someone to give a say on whether or not the situation was dire enough by a group of pompous and pretentious people was just stupid. This was going to bite them in the butt one day. Hopefully, it was before a whole lot of someones got killed.

You were relatively new to the group having been found by Clint, of course always picking up strays, while on a mission, you brought the destructive aspect to the group.

Having been sold and trained for a little known but dangerous mercenary group, you were eager to get out. Your time with the Devil’s Luck had been torturous. Each day they seemed to have a new way to scare you into submission. The only reason you lasted as long as you had was, you listened. Each week they had taught you a different bomb how to assemble and disarm it. They taught you all the components and at the end of the week you had to perform perfectly or death was the answer.

Clint had been sent in to disassemble the Devil’s. You were lucky to have Clint notice that you weren’t there willingly. It also helped your case that they would chain you every day in the room where they kept their poisons and other volatile explosives. They said it helped remind you of which components were which.

Focusing back to the meeting a new man has entered the room, Secretary Ross, gah even his name made you want to throw up, (he no longer gets a name shall only be known as he) he is staring down each and every one of them.

That is until he comes to you. You meet his glare head-on with one of your own. He shifts a little before looking away, you had won this round. It’s not surprising, due to the exposure of the different compounds, while being locked in your closet, your eyes had shifted from their usual (Y/E/C) to a murky purple, not exactly pretty or pleasant to look at.

He starts to blab on about how the group has “helped” so many people, but then he shifts and starts to blame them for everything ignore the lives saved in every incident.

You begin to feel your temper rising up, you shift in your chair. Looking around you can see everyone just taking it. You had been brought here years ago but had been too dangerous to be around others as Fury had told you. When you started training you had gotten to see them in action and vowed to be part of them.

Now that you were, they had quickly taken you in and treated you like family. You would not stand by while this prick tore into them. They were heroes that risked their lives and save millions more. They didn’t need all these rules or whatever crap this man wanted.

A hand on your thigh stops your internal thoughts and quells you anger a bit. Shooting your gaze over to see Steve; he was shaking his head slightly. Pretty much telling you to chill, then his thumb begins to rub circles in your thigh. Great now you can’t stay mad because you’re focusing on the feeling he is giving you, the butterflies erupt in your stomach.

It is a well-known fact to all you have a big thing for Mr. Steve Rogers. It’s also known that you will never make a move because you feel you are not good enough for him. Instead, you had chosen to become friends, you would take him however you could get him. You don’t often regret that decision mostly being that Steve was the greatest friend you could ask for.

You’re so in the moment that you don’t move until you hear Steve backfiring on Tony, his hand still rests on you but it is tense.

You focus back on the conversation. But don’t last long as you realize that this man had come in here and was now tearing the team apart. He is standing off to the side a bit as they argue, a small smile appearing on his face. He turns and leaves the room, the door gently closing.

You jerk up, making the chair roll hard into the wall startling everyone, you are seething, a low growl building its way up your throat. You head towards the door. “Where are you going?” Tony asks.

“I’m going to kill that man, I’m going to make him feel so much pain he’s going to wish he never even set foot in this building let alone mess with my family.” Still growling you turn back towards the door only to have a couple pair of arms hold you still.

“This won’t help anything if you kill him or threaten him,” Sam says while he and Clint attempt to pull you back into your chair. You were standing firm until another chair sputtered back. All eyes shifted to Steve.

“I have to go.” He quickly leaves. You know something is wrong you can tell just from his words. The men release you and you take the moment to follow Steve out. It wasn’t often that Steve didn’t jump in to help you or defend you so the simple fact that he didn’t prove that he just received the worse kind of news. You hoped it didn’t have to deal with Bucky, he had searched for so long now. Spending months with him and you digging for even the slightest mention of him.

You searched for him for a couple moments till a faint sniffling reached your ears. Opening the door to the stairwell you peak over the edge to Steve in the middle of the flight. You rush down, his shoulders are shaking while he holds his phone out. You glimpse on, ‘She’s gone, in her sleep.’ You gasp taking it in, Peggy was gone no wonder he was in pieces. It was worse than Bucky, not Peggy he had gotten her back.

You both often visited her in the care home. Spending hours talking, you getting all the really good stories to blackmail Steve with. Now she was gone, you wrap your arms around him and he takes advantage by leaning in cause you both to slip to the steps.

A few minutes later he looks up at you, those gorgeous blue eyes are rimmed in red and have a dark shadow in them as his world comes crashing down around him. “I have to go, I need to get packed and go to her. I… I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ve lost her, again. Why did I lose her again?”

You nod your head, you had no idea why things were working out this way, fate was cruel. “Come on let’s get you home to pack.“ Taking his hand you get him up and lead him up to his room. You sit him down on the bed and pull out his small carry on bag. He glances up, "I can do it, thank you for taking care of me. Maybe you can come with me. I could the support and you were close with her as well.”

“I’ll be here.” You reply quietly to him.

At the funeral, Steve is one of the pallbearers for Peggy. You can see how upset he is even when he sits next to you in the pew. He grabs hold of your thigh again holding on tightly as the service begins. It was a lovely service, even when it came time for the family to speak. You were expecting a lot of tears, what you didn’t expect was the blonde woman, especially Steve’s neighbor to get up to speak. She was introduced as Sharon Carter. You feel Steve straighten and his hand leaves your thigh. You glance up to find his eyes zeroed in on Sharon as she shares about her aunt. Another Carter. He hangs off her words eyes meeting until the end and even still follows her with his eyes after she’s done showing great interest in what she was doing.

Your heart putters at the scene, Sam glanced over at your sharp inhale, checking to see what happened. Steve remained focused on Sharon missing your distress.

You had known he had been through too much to just try to jump into a relationship with. Then you had found out about Peggy and knew that nothing was going to happen for a very long time. You wouldn’t compete with someone you had no chance of winning against. From all the stories you didn’t mind either. Now here comes fate with another interesting Carter at Steve’s feet.

He excuses himself from you and Sam to go talk to her. “You shouldn’t let him go like that,” Sam comments to you.

“He is free to talk to anyone he wants to I’m not going to stop him.” You reply getting uncomfortable with the situation at hand. You wait for Steve to come back glancing over at them while they talk flinching every time he smiles at something she said.

“Yup, you're jealous.”

“Never said I wasn’t; just not going to let it affect my relationship with him.”

“Uh huh whatever you say.”

Sharon walks away only to have Nat walk up and talk to Steve. He gets a little tense talking to her but soon heads over sending you a small smile. “She’s headed to Vienna for the talks. Things are going to get dangerous now.”

“I know. I’ll be here.” You give him a small smile, while you give his hand a quick squeeze.

Steve and yourself had split up after the funeral, you had things that needed to get done in New York. Unfortunately, you should have stayed with him. You knew as soon as you saw the news and heard Bucky’s name you were ready to head right back in the quinjet only to be surrounded by men in black tactical gear. Their weapons were pointed straight at you no chance of escape. Then he came sauntering up an evil grin on his face. “Bring her with us, she’s a good bargaining chip for him”. They cuffed her and forced her onto the jet but strapped her down tightly.

Upon landing you are carted into a foreign building and kept under lock and key. Constant eyes watching you. It's rather boring just waiting around waiting for something to happen. Lucky for you they didn’t have a full understanding of your powers. While you were stuck in your prison with the Devil’s Luck, not only had your eyes changed but so had your very DNA. The strange combination of compounds mixed further and mutated your blood enabling you to use any poison or other toxins at will.

It was one of the reasons you never told Steve your true feelings. There was a lot you still didn’t know about your powers making you almost a ticking time bomb when your emotions got high enough you would leak fumes around you. This included the meeting before this whole mess. Steve was one of the few people able to calm you down almost instantly, dissipating anything in the air.

The other reason was Steve had been dealt a sad hand of cards in life, he deserved something normal including a normal love interest. It was why you weren’t exactly angry when he showed interest in someone. Of course, he could never truly have a normal life, house, kids, and dogs, but it would be better than the “toxic” relationship you would provide. You would never be able to let go fully always worried that you would hurt him. Heck, right now you were in a jail cell waiting to be used as bait against him.

As the guard passes by on his round a perfect opportunity to escape. You start to emit a gas known for bending the will. Perfect for your plan with the lack of appropriate ventilation, your cell was soon open and you walked out. You had the guard escort you all the way to the glass office which now held Steve, Sam, Tony, and Nat. There was another man with regal posture but you paid little head to him as you zeroed in on the man that continued to drive your family apart.

The door slides open and all eyes turned to you. You wave the guard off and stare at the man in front of you. Everyone is slowly rising. They can see the wisps of smoke radiating from you. Your eyes have now crystallized to a royal purple instead. Steve approached you arms raised slightly with his palms open toward you. You let him approach slowly trying to get your breathing and rage under control.

“Calm down, (Y/N). It alright. I promise we are just seeing things differently.”

“No! He is tearing my family apart and will not let him continue to do this.” You are screaming at this point. “He is the one that brought this on why can’t anyone see this. Turning us against each other. Making Wanda feel like everything is wrong with her when it's not. Making Tony take all the blame for the actions of others. I won’t allow it anymore!” The waves pulse out again darker and reaching out toward the man in question. He shirks back, finally grasping just how dangerous you are and what you could do, specifically to him at the moment.

He dares to speak, “Rogers, get the monster under control or I will.”

This made all heads turn towards him. “Excuse me,” the rage and venom could be heard clearly in Steve’s voice.

You heard me. Do something before I have to.”

With that, he takes his chance and leaves the room. They all continue to stare after him. You, on the other hand, were shocked at what he said that everything vanished. He had said the one thing you knew to be true but no one had ever said to you. Hearing it was worse and cut you deep; looking around you saw the angry expressions on their faces you’re not sure if it’s for you or the man that just walked out. Steve let’s out a sigh before turning back to you.

“I told you to calm down. You might have just made things worse. Now, why don’t you sit down and maybe don’t move.” He sounds slightly exasperated as he says this. You feel your heart clench at the tone. You merely nod your head.

“Well great, that fixes nothing,” Tony says glancing now between the two of you. At this point, Sharon comes in letting them know that the interrogation was about to begin. She walks up to Steve and you can see him relax, sending her a small smile. Well, another nail in that coffin. They look good together you notice, almost a perfect match; at least he doesn’t have to worry about her killing anyone. You sink lower in your chair but even with the small movement, you see people tense around you making you go even smaller.

Suddenly the lights flicker and everyone panics, Sharon tells Steve Bucky’s floor and with a quick turn he tells you to follow him closely, this is your escape. You decide to split up Sam and you are on modes of transportation out. Steve would grab Bucky and meet you outside the building.

You hijack a civilian car and go on your way. From your spot, you witness the chopper crash and finally see the guys surface. You hoist them in the car and head out of town to an abandoned warehouse district.

Placing Bucky into a giant vice you wait for him to wake up. You have sat as far away from them as you could with still being able to be seen. Steve eventually comes over and sits next to you.

“You could have killed someone today.” You nod, not trusting yourself to speak and know that nothing can help you now. You pray for a miracle. “It was stupid and reckless. You need to get this under control, you were doing so well before all this happened.” You can tell he is concerned but you fear it is more for others than yourself. You pull your knees to your chest wrapping your arms around them. “Secretary Ross has power, unfortunately, he’s using it against us. But, we will get through it, you can’t get involved though. I can’t trust you at this point, you will only make things worse.”

“I’m sorry.” your voice breaks failing to hold back any tears.

“That’s not going to fix anything,” he huffs frustrated. “If that was enough none of us would be in this situation.”

By this time tears are falling down, you face silently. He’s confirmed everything you’ve feared the most. Your losing control and nothing more than a monster that was going to hurt others. Worse yet, you knew he wasn’t ever going to feel the same way you did. He couldn’t trust you why would he ever think to love you.

Sam approaches, “He’s awake.” You wipe your tears unsuccessfully masking that you had been crying. Sam probably heard it all. Steve rises to his feet going to Bucky’s side. You look out the window searching for suspicious activity. Not daring to turn around and meet anyone’s eyes.

A while later you notice movement on the roof a few blocks down. “We’ve got movement, couple blocks down. We need to move.”

You continue to watch until Steve walks up, pointing out all the boogies to him, you both come to the same conclusion. You're going to need a diversion and a pretty big one. It's then that you come to understand your it. The rest needed to continue; this was the end of your story.

You turn to Steve, “Go, I’ll hold them off. You take Sam and Bucky with you do what you need to do.”

“We can’t just leave you here, who knows what they’ll do.”

“I’ll be fine, I’m stronger than I look. I won’t kill any of them I promise. I can hold off being a monster long enough to get you guys out.“ You tell him firmly, hoping he can trust you just enough not to screw this up.

"You’re not…”

“Stop. Please. Just go.” You don’t need to hear any more lies. You shoo him away, not bothering to say goodbye.

Steve nods once before turning to debrief Bucky. Sam walks up to you, “This is stupid and you know it. They won’t let you go.”

“Maybe that’s what I want.” You glance back at Steve talking quietly with Bucky, “Sam, don’t let him come after me alright? No one can forget I was ever here. Monsters are meant to be locked up so that’s where I’ll go.”

“You’re not a monster, not even close.”

“Please just promise me Sam.” you urge, they need to get out and soon.

“Fine, but promise me you won’t just give yourself up. You get out of here and come back to us.”

“Alright, now go. I can give you guys about 20 minutes head start.”

Steve looks back at you sadness written on his face, “I’ll see you later, alright?”

“I’ll be here.” You whisper with a small smile.

Steve turns and jogs out with the guys close behind him. Turning back toward the front you prepare yourself with each thump of men trying to get in. For the first time you feel like you lied to Steve, you knew you wouldn’t be here.

@annadier