Hi ... You Dont Know Me, But I Want To Say This Anyway.

Hi ... You don’t know me, but I want to say this anyway.

I don’t claim to know what’s going on in your life, but I legitimately believe that you have no reason to hate yourself.  From what I’ve observed in your writing and in your blog, you’ve got a lot more empathy towards others than most people do.  I think that alone is something to be proud of.  You’ve got a big heart, and the people around you recognize that, and are drawn to you because of it.  Though they all seem to have their own reasons for doing so, the fact stands that they do want to be around you.  You provide them with something in their life that they want and/or need.  If they didn’t feel that way, they wouldn’t bother approaching you at all, right?  

As for that hatred and anger you feel ... well, they’re natural parts of life. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.  We all feel it, and we all deal with it differently.  I see it as a sort of give and take process.  When someone shows you kindness, you feel compelled to return that kindness, and when someone shows you cruelty, you feel compelled to return that cruelty.  Learning to go against that compulsion isn’t easy.  Hell, that’s one of the major components of Undertale’s storytelling: it’s the reason most people have such a hard time killing Papyrus on the Genocide route, and the reason it’s so tempting to finish off Flowey at the end of the Neutral route.  

But going against that compulsion is what ultimately changes the tide of the game, and I think that applies to real life as well.  I know it’s hard to resist scratching that itch to lash back at someone who’s hurt you.  But please, please believe me when I say that it’s not something that’s wrong with you; it’s a struggle for everyone.  It’s trying to defy human nature, of course it’s not easy, and we don’t fault you one bit for struggling with it.  It doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you human. Most people don’t even try to combat that urge; it never even occurs to them.  The fact that you recognize it and feel remorse for lashing back is leaps and bounds above most people.  

I know that what I’m saying here isn’t going to magically change your perspective.  I wouldn’t expect it to.  I just want you to know that, at least from the perspective of one person, that what you’re going through is normal and I wish you weren’t so hard on yourself for it.  Despite what those people tell you, you are still a good person, and the friends that love you are proof of that.

... If you got this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read through this giant wall of text.  I hope it helped, at least a little bit.

so many conflicting feelings

so im going home in a couple hours because im not fit to deal with this environment anymore and im just oscillating between blaming myself and blaming everyone else

Keep reading

"Never again."

Sniper was clutching his chest as they exited the ride, as if he had just had a heart attack. Scout held on to his other arm for support, green and unresponsive as he wobbled.

"Again!" bellowed Heavy, bounding after them, large arms waving in the air. This was his first rollercoaster and he laughed the entire time, not once closing his eyes. Engineer grinned, following along.

"Glad ya liked it, Heavy. But the lines for this kinda thing are always long and it's almost getting dark."

"How unfortunate." Medic was grinning ear to ear as he watched Scout rush to a nearby garbage can and vomit. Pyro pulled the group's attention to a booth connected to the ride, where photos were being printed out from a large box which had wires running around the booth and up to the ride.

"Check it out fellas!" Engineer's grin widened – he had never seen such a device before at amusement parks, and excitedly made his way to the booth after Pyro. The group crowded around the photo from their round that the attendant had placed on the counter.

Up in front, both Engineer and Pyro looked to be having a thrill, hands up in the air, Pyro's pink purse somehow still around his arm. From the back, Heavy had the same pose, mouth open in mid laugh. In the second seat, Sniper clutched the metal safety bar for dear life as his mouth hung open. Scout, on the other hand was in mid flail, head plastered against the seat due to the force of the air, and tears and snot streaming down his face. A few seats back, Medic's eyes were tightly closed and nose scrunched up – next to him, Spy was calmly smoking a lit cigarette. The group turned to look at him.

Spy shrugged.

"What?"

"This is stupid," dismissed Scout, trying to pull his coworkers away from the embarrassing photo.

"I reckon I'm gonna get a copy to send to your Ma," Engineer grinned, searching his pocket for five dollars, the price printed on the top of the sample photo.

"Heavy want copy too!"

"Mpmee mpho!"

---

The above is an excerpt from one of my favorite fanfics of all time, Ceasefire Days by sawruhr. When I first read the description of that picture, I knew I just HAD to try and recreate it in SFM. I know I got a few details wrong, but hey, nobody's perfect. I put a whole lot of effort into this one (this is my first ever attempt at making a scenebuild from scratch!) and I'm pretty dang proud of how it turned out. This was so much fun to make, and I learned a lot about SFM's inner workings during the process. All in all, it was a lot of time and effort, and it was completely worth it :D

Also, if anyone's curious about where Soldier and Demo are, they're off trying to win stuffed animals at the carnival booths.

If you have the time, go give the full fanfic a look. Trust me, it's worth it! :D Here's the link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9634285/1/Ceasefire-Days

dA link: http://fav.me/d8tqnyd

Am I the only one who wants a real standalone series with these guys? Please tell me I'm not the only one. This is fucking gold. Anybody?

i love these edgy goofballs

audio by crashboombanger !

“Lighten Up” by Ronald Wimberly

Beautifuly written- and drawn.

America says NO.

2015 - Here are some gifs of Donald Trump being attacked by a bald eagle named Uncle Sam, literally the least patriotic thing that can happen to an American. [video]