Cleavage Helps Your Cross Hang Straight!

Cleavage helps your cross hang straight!

Cricket from Good Christian Belles

The Pheasant's Eye or Melodrama Part 2

Chapter 2:

The town was situated in the Appalachian Mountains. The church stood in the very center, a symbol of their faith that would ring every quarter of an hour. It wasn’t a very grand building; more like an old-fashioned country church painted white. A kitchen and a large dining hall were situated in the back. Every Sunday and Wednesday, the town would gather after the church services and socialize while savoring whatever hot meal, seasonal meal that was prepared.

Outside the church bloomed Pheasant-Eye Daffodils, planted what seemed forever ago. Daisies and Queen Anne’s lace would also bloom during the summer along with Christmas Ferns and Irises. Six large apple trees circled the church; the branches would be filled with apples in the fall that would be used for making apple butter and applesauce.

The houses were spread near and far from the church. They were small bungalows, about two or three bedrooms with an outhouse out back.

Not the minister’s home though; Bob’s house, besides the church, been one of the most imposing structures the town had to offer. It was an old plantation style house, abandoned along time ago because of the debts the old owners faced during the reconstruction era. By then, the diocese had grown, but faced persecution amidst the big cities. The diocese found freedom among the mountains to practice their religion.

Right now, the weather was turning cool into autumn leaving the glittery light of summer behind. The leaves would turn gold, purple, and along the road a mass of orange and red. The folks would gather trees to celebrate the coming Christmas, and these would be the few masses of green left after autumn, during winter’s chill. Not until the peatoots chased winter away with their croaking, would spring come again.

The minister was a man named Bob. He was a tall man with a cleanly shaven face who smelled of roses. His voice was a thick baritone. It was his town, and nothing could be done about it.

“No, no, use the dinner plates with the holly leaves, not the flowers; summer’s ended,” said Bob called in an impatient tone (he was a rather meticulous fellow) to one of the Elstree girls (although they’re not girls any more). They were six sisters, born and brought up in the church, and most had not married or had been widowed. Instead, they gave their lives to the church and helped cook large meals at celebrations like this in his home.

Bob and his family lived in a rather large, traditional, plantation house of three stories, with a large front porch and freshly painted, white columns. He had inherited it because of his position in the church. He was lecturing one of the Elstree sisters in a condescending tone on how to place the flatware on the table. (Although he was not doing it right).

He turned to speak to his daughter, Mildred, who was sitting on the window box of the parlor, watching men walk to their homes as the sun set (as she was half dreaming what life outside town was like). In this religious driven town, most of the men worked on the big, sharecropping farm that fed the town. They all wore brown pants and a white shirt, except on Sundays, when they wore all black. It was getting colder now so they had started wearing their wool coats, tailored lovingly by their wives. “Mildred, will you sit next to Thomas tonight during the dinner?” said Bob turning around to Mildred.

“Why?” asked Mildred.

“Well, it will make our family look good. I don’t want to be impeached from my job. You always sit next to Karen and you are at that time when relationships bloom and die like dandelions; we don’t want to spread even the idea of sin around. You understand, don’t you?”

“Dad, Karen and I are just…friends,” sighed Mildred.

“I know honey, but could you please just sit next to Thomas?” begged Bob. It was common for the parents to decide marriages in this town.

“Yes, father,” replied Mildred, sighing again.

“I love you, honey,” said Bob: patting her on the back. But then his attention turned to the curtains that were getting hung backwards. “No! Don’t hang the curtains that way,” yelled Bob to one of the old women hanging the curtains up.

“Move out of my way,” muttered one of the old women to Mildred. “Kids these days!”

“I need to go put on my dress,” Said Mildred as she ran up the stairs, almost running into Margaret, her mother.

“Millie, you ought to be careful,” said Mildred’s mother in a very caring voice. “Sorry,” said Mildred, in a half hurried tone.

“That’s fine.  The guests will be here soon, so go and change into something appropriate.” “Yes,” Said Mildred quietly. Then she perked up, and asked, “Is Karen coming?”

Chapter 3

“Thomas, it’s so nice to see you, won’t you sit next to me?” said Mildred with smile on her face; she and Thomas were friends from childhood. “Yes,”

“What a lovely day it was,” said Mildred, doing her best to create a conversation.

“Yes…” he said while looking down at his hands, trying to forget about the boring stuff he had done that day, and maybe come up with a statement that would wow Mildred.

“Yes, Karen and I went on a walk in the woods and…” but she saw that Thomas

could care less about what she and Karen had done. Oh, Thomas has turned so unexciting these days! I hope the older I get, the more interesting I become. Maybe it’s just a phase… thought Mildred.

“May I have your attention, please?” asked Bob trying to project about the loud guests, the lasts who were just piling in the front door.

He didn’t have many people’s attention, though. Ann, the organist, called down her daughter, saying, “Karen, be quiet.” Harry shot his wife and daughter a look, silent and firm.

Bob continued, “I would like to thank Thomas’s parents for their generous donation to the church; unfortunately they couldn’t come tonight because they are sick,” He began clapping. Everyone else joined in (stricken with boredom, the party hadn’t started just yet). “You may now take your seats,” he directed.

Out came the old Estree girls with salad for everyone. “Thank you, Gladys,” commented Margaret.

Unfortunately, the other more righteous children of God had dropped all their manners with the exception of Mildred; Karen had almost forgotten but Mildred elbowed her, “Oh, thank you, Ms. Gladys.” And then she bowed her head for grace.  It was an autumn salad with a homemade dressing and crushed almonds tossed on the top. Everything came from the gardens around the town because they feared that other people would poison them, for the congregation believed they had many enemies.

Five courses later (and four different wines) everyone started yelling and got a little wild. Plates were crashed (making the rug very dirty), the drapes were ripped off the windows and everyone acted silly and confused.

“Mildred, you’d better leave,” Margaret whispered urgently to her daughter; Margaret rarely ever indulged in alcohol, and was one of the few sober adult members of the party.

“Hey, you women!” yelled Bob to one of the Estree girls as they ran out the door. “Get us a drink, will ya?” “Are you sure?” said Gladys. She was scared half to death of Bob, particularly in this state.  “You’ve had enough,” she bravely told him.

“Gladys, just serve him water, he won’t notice,” Margaret very quietly encouraged her, so other people wouldn’t hear. Margaret wasn’t born in the congregation, but had learned their ways and had become a good friend with Gladys, although Gladys was a ‘mere servant’ in the others’ eyes.

“Yes ma’am,” said Gladys as she walked out of the room to fetch the water.

“Karen, let’s go out into the hallway,” whispered Mildred, her father was about to smash the wine bottle as a ceremony for the opening of the new section of the church.  (On Gladys’s head, in fact.)

“Good idea.”

Do ya'll like cheesy movie sets?

Here's Ke$ha. More amazing then ever. I wish she would release another album.

Songs from Rio Rita- Part 6 I'm Out on the Loose Tonight

Ask me how I get this way,

Who and what's the holiday,

I'm just a wild bird simply, gee.

Tangled up in married ties

Been all through that exercise,

Now it's single oars for me.

Have I been a chump? Oh verily!

Now just watch me jump, o merrily,

I'm out on the loose tonight

Wild as a deuce tonight,

If I am pop-eyed,

I can explain,

Just got away from the ball and the chain.

I need no excuse tonight.

I'm gonna do things right.

I have a few oats to sow,

I don't care where they grow,

I'm out on the loose tonight.

Irish Soda Bread

Preheat the oven to 350F.

In a large bowl sift:

4 1/2 cups flour

1 tbs. ground nutmeg

1 tbs. ground cinnamon

1 1/4 tbs. baking powder

1 1/2 cups sugar

When blended, mix in:

1 cup raisins

Beat in a separate bowl:

3 medium eggs

3/4 cups milk

Add mixture to larger bowl and work into a dough with a spoon. Let the dough rest for 30 minutes.

Flour hands and make 4 or 5 small, round, loaves.

 Place on a greased and floured cookie sheet. Bake for 25-30 minutes.