MY DEAR ` | L.hj

MY DEAR ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა | l.hj

pairing: lee hyunjae x f! reader

genre: best friends to lovers!

synopsis: hyunjae was not expecting to confess his feelings for you at his older sister’s wedding

word count: 3.5k words

warnings: mild cussing, mentions of alcohol, hyunjae being a bit too tipsy, kissing, our two leads being a bit oblivious (someone pls help them)

author’s note: hi everyone :D i finally finished this after a month of it sitting in my drafts, i hope you enjoy reading this little one shot <3

If love was a losing battlefield, that is what Lee Hyunjae pictured it to be.

The young man in his mid-20s had no idea how he kept his bottled-up feelings for his best friend L/N Y/N for so long. Everyone would make bets of when the other would crack or confess. But whenever you would hear of these silly bets or predictions, you would laugh it off, saying that you two were just best of friends.

Little did you know, those words would sting Hyunjae like a bee. And little did you know, he had a crush on you from the moment you both met as mere toddlers.

Hyunjae vividly remembered sipping on a juice box waiting for class to start, scared. He had an attachment to his parents and older sister at a young age. Whenever he was left with his grandparents or his aunt, he would start to look for them, crying out of fear.

He immediately started to sob as soon as his mom unbuckled his car seat.

Surely but slowly, making it into the classroom and out of the school parking lot, his teacher offered him an apple juice to calm him down and distract him from his mom leaving to go to work.

Hyunjae sat still, feeling nervous as soon as he found out his juice box was empty. As he put juice box down, he started to look around the classroom, trying to calm himself down. Once he saw you walk in the classroom with a big gap in your top front teeth owning a big smile and a contagious giggle, he knew from there on out that you would be his best friend for life.

And from there on, you two were peas in a pod.

No one could separate you both even if they tried. It got to the point where you were always at his or his always at yours. Your parents would always set an extra plate down at the dinner table and vice versa. It was a reoccurring thing and even your families treated you both as having an extra kid in the household.

Even at family outings, he would always tag along or you’d always tag along on his. There was never a dull moment whenever you guys were together and your families secretly swore to each other that you both would get together in the future.

Things slowly then started to change as you both reached middle school. As soon as you started having sporadic crushes on boys in your grade, Hyunjae started to feel irritated by every boy you mentioned.

Hyunjae recalled when you had a crush on the golden boy Kim Younghoon in the 8th grade. You would go on about how smart he’d be in their science class or volunteer in math, every time your teacher would ask the class to solve a problem. Hyunjae felt irritated but dealt with your yapping because after all, you are his best friend.

No matter how many times he’d be exhausted from you going on and on, he’d still listen because he cared a lot about you. He liked hearing about things that excited you- even if it was about a boy that was not him. He liked seeing you happy, it seemed to be all he cared about.

When the annual school field trip to a science museum came, Hyunjae remembered how he felt seeing you get put into a group with Younghoon.

He felt those nervous jitters he felt, the first time he saw you back in kindergarten.

He remembered, holding his hand to his chest on the ride back to the school campus, confused by all the mixed emotions he was feeling.

And that is when he realized, he may of had feelings for you that entire time. He remembered muttering to himself on the bus, leaving his best friend Juyeon concerned whether he was okay or not- thinking he was dehydrated or had a bad headache.

Scared of ruining his friendship with you, Hyunjae kept his feelings to himself. He thought they would just magically disappear like a magician saying abracadabra in their little magic tricks. He thought suppressing them would be better and it would be best to just let things be.

Those suppressed feelings worked for a bit while the both of you managed to get into your first relationships with other people throughout high school. It would all change once you both got into the same university and broke up with your partners.

And yet until the present time, the both of you still ended up single.

As the both of you then graduated, you both started your respective careers, always meeting up with your circle of friends once in a while and of course, always being together in your free time.

Sometimes Hyunjae would hang out at your apartment and sometimes you’d hang out at his.

Hyunjae realized that during all of this maybe his feelings never changed since then.

Maybe, he never did get over his feelings for you.

Now here he is, sitting at the closest table by the concessions stand of his sister’s wedding, taking another shot of God knows what with his best friends Juyeon, Kevin, and Jacob.

“Man, slow down, your sister is going to beat your ass,” Kevin muttered as Hyunjae shook his head.

Hyunjae’s older sister Yoonah was finally getting married to her boyfriend after 5 years. He was happy for his sister but as soon as he heard Younghoon was invited (his older sister so happens to be the same age as Yoonah), he felt like he was about to lock himself in his bedroom and roll into a ball. He did not know if Younghoon had a girlfriend or not- heck he never spoken to him since middle school. As soon as he saw Younghoon walk into the entrance of the city hall earlier, he felt like he was about to pull his hair out.

As he drank the remaining alcohol in his glass, he remembered Yoonah and their little conversation whilst shopping for her wedding reception.

“My baby brother, when will you admit it, you’re not getting any younger.” Yoonah sighed as she looked through the variety of utensils and plates. As she picked up one of the silver spoons, she glanced to Hyunjae who was looking away, pretending not to hear anything she said. He whistled a tune of the song he heard from Yoonah’s playlist in the car earlier, crossing his arms.

Hyunjae unwillingly agreed to help Yoonah out with the wedding ceremony preparations. As Yoonah’s best friend Naeun had a last-minute errand to run, she immediately asked Hyunjae to go with her. With Hyunjae only having one day off this week due to a large project at the office, he was exhausted, to say the least- but he could not pass on the offer of Yoonah treating him to lunch.

The two were now walking around an events coordinator's office, looking for inspiration for the wedding reception. Yoonah decided with her fiance, that it would be best if the wedding would take place half a year from the proposal. Even if it seemed like it would be far away from the current date, they wanted to prepare early and make sure everything was perfect.

“Noona, I did not come here to answer those questions.” Hyunjae sighed as he walked beside her toward the next section.

“When did you become so grumpy, you used to cling to Mom, Dad, and me all the time?” Yoonah pouted as she jokingly pulled on Hyunjae’s cheek.

“Stop it!” Hyunjae sighed as he looked around. He did not like when Yoonah drew attention to them, especially in public.

Yoonah chuckled. She shook her head, walking towards the other side of the store. “I’m just telling you, everyone knows except her.”

“You’re lying.”

“Why do our moms always talk about your guys’ future kids and their names then?”

Hyunjae looked at Yoonah in pure confusion. “They do that?”

“Well of course when you aren’t there dummy.”

Yoonah then glanced towards the different colored threads, trying to find perfect accents for the reception. She looked back to Hyunjae as she let go of the thread she held. “I’m serious though, how would you feel if she told you she met someone?”

“It’s been years Noona, plus she’s work-oriented you know her.” Hyunjae disagreed. He felt a bit uncomfortable, knowing he was just pulling excuses.

He recalled when You first told him someone asked her out on a date. It was the time when You recently just moved into your place and just finished settling down. He felt his teeth grinding on each other, giving the biggest smile. Of course, he was happy that You were ecstatic about getting asked out, but at the same time, he was dishonest with himself, wishing that it was him instead.

“I’m just telling you, you never know what could happen.”

“And what if we don’t speak again, I can’t lose her.”

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” Yoonah’s lips turned into a little smile. She then smiled. “I’d love her as a sister-in-law though.”

“Okay, I think it’s time to get lunch now Noona.”

Hyunjae glanced towards you as you were sitting by the terrace with Younghoon. You were catching up with him, reminiscing about the old times in middle school and talking about the encounters you both had even if it was just a small hi or hello.

He felt like that conversation with Yoonah was now biting him in the butt as if it was destined to happen.

Hyunjae focused on how your lips turned into a wide smile every time Younghoon would talk or how your right dimple poked out whenever you’d laugh. He hated that you were laughing with someone else- that was not him. He put down his empty glass, asking the waiter to give him another.

“Now, I know why he’s drinking.” Juyeon nudged both Kevin and Jacob, eyeing you with Younghoon.

The two then looked at you and back to Hyunjae, realizing what was going on.

“Bro, you’re an idiot.” Jacob sighed.

“Guys, let me be.” Hyunjae muttered.

“It’s your sister’s wedding, shouldn’t you be happy right now?” Juyeon asked.

Hyunjae shook his head, letting out a dry laugh. “I’m happy I promise.”

“Jae, we all know that you’re dying on the inside knowing Y/N is talking to Younghoon after so long. You’re scared aren’t you?” Kevin asked.

Hyunjae glared at Kevin and shook his head again. He laughed and thanked the waiter and took another sip from the glass.

Juyeon then tapped Kevin and Jacob’s shoulders, huddling with them behind Hyunjae. “Guys, I may have a plan…” He muttered softly.

“Huh?” Jacob asked.

Kevin sighed, crossing his arms. “What did you have in mind?”

Juyeon smirked. “You guys do know Younghoon has a girlfriend right?”

Everyone was busy partying on the dance floor as Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars started to play. With strobe lights glistening and loud music blaring throughout the reception hall, it seemed not to bother Hyunjae much as he was stuck in his own little world.

Hyunjae was unaware of how many drinks he asked the waiter for. He did not realize that his friends were dancing on the dance floor and left him alone to his own devices.

Little did he know, Juyeon went up towards You and Younghoon, interrupting your small talk. After he pointed towards Hyunjae, showing you what happened, you sat your glass of Champagne down.

You said goodbye to Younghoon and told Juyeon a quick thanks, telling him you would take care of Hyunjae. You knew your best friend better than himself and that him and alcohol did not mix well.

You walked quickly to where Hyunjae was and sighed. He had his head down, facing the other side, already asleep. You shook his shoulder a little, trying to see if he was conscious or not.

Hyunjae sat up and turned towards you. He muttered a hi and smiled a little. He felt a bit tipsy from whatever he drank but could somewhat still tell what was going on.

Somewhat.

You rolled your eyes, a bit annoyed with Hyunjae. Out of all the times he decided to drink, it had to be right now at the reception hall of his sister’s wedding. “Jae, what happened?”

“Can we get some air please?” Hyunjae asked softly. “I just need air right now.”

“Can you even walk?” You asked.

Hyunjae stood up from his seat, wobbling a little. He gave you a little thumbs up as he walked and stumbled a little to the side entrance. You put his arm around yours for balance as you both walked out.

The both of you then sat on a bench right by where the large fountain was. It was a nice little seating area that had a path that led straight to the parking lot. It was quiet and peaceful out here with no one around. All you could hear was just the trees swaying in the wind below the night sky and the water sprouting out from the top splashing down to the bottom of the fountain.

The music was blaring still but it was now a bit muffled as the side doors to the reception hall was closed shut.

“Y/N, I need, I need to tell you something.” Hyunjae stammered a little.

“And what is that?” You asked.

“Do you like Younghoon again?”

You blinked your eyes rapidly, taken aback by Hyunjae’s question. You know Hyunjae did not take his alcohol well but never was he that blunt to ask such a question.

“No?” You replied in confusion. “He has a girlfriend Jae.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear. Good for him.” Hyunjae’s lips formed into a smile as you laughed to yourself.

“Why did you ask?”

“Maybe it’s cause I hate to see you with someone, that’s not me.”

Your breath hitched a little. Taken aback by Hyunjae’s words, you looked intently at him. You knew alcohol could be someone’s worst enemy and it seemed to be your own best friend’s right now- revealing something that you could have never imagined. “Can you, can you say that one more time?”

Hyunjae felt himself wake up little by little. He did not know if he was dreaming or not, but if he was, he decided it was now or never. Because frankly, when would he even admit to his own feelings?

“Y/N, I don’t want you to laugh with someone that’s not me. I don’t want you to see you smiling with someone that’s not me. I want it to be me.” Hyunjae said as he turned his head towards you. “All these years I wished it was me Y/N.”

“You’re my best friend,” You said under your breath. “I never thought you’d see me in that light.”

“Wasn’t I obvious Y/N?” Hyunjae asked. “I don’t know but ever since we graduated, I think I just fell more in love with you. Our lives now, it’s as if we’re together, don’t you think?”

You gulped a little. It felt like your little conversation with Younghoon was about to come to life in just a snap of a finger.

“So, are you and your best friend a thing yet?” Younghoon peered his eyes in Hyunjae’s direction. You glanced towards Hyunjae who was drinking with his best guy friends.

You looked back to Younghoon and shook your head. “Oh, Hyunjae and I? We are just best friends. Always have and always will be.”

“Are you sure about that?” Younghoon laughed. He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “I see your Instagram stories once in a while, you guys are always together.”

“Let’s just say we never really thought of each other in that sense- I mean I’ll admit there was this one point in college when I started to question my feelings for him but I just let it go.”

“And why did you?” Younghoon sighed. “I remember in the 8th grade this one time, you remember that field trip we went on right?”

“Oh yeah, that, what about it?”

“The way he looked at me from afar,” Younghoon said. “It looked like he was about to fight me or threaten me. I never seen him so mad in my life.”

“Huh?” You asked in confusion.

“Y/N, you’re a bit oblivious. I do think deep down you like him, you just don’t want to address that elephant in the room.”

You let out a laugh. “Younghoon-”

“Y/N. I’m serious. I know you liked me but don’t get me wrong, a few boys did like you too.” Younghoon sat up. “We knew we’d never stand a chance next to Hyunjae. That’s why I was surprised when I heard you had a boyfriend that wasn’t him in high school through a mutual friend.”

“Oh,” You replied.

“That’s beside the point though. Maybe it’s your guys' turn to admit to each other’s feelings.”

“This is funny hearing it from a guy I used to like.” You laughed awkwardly as Younghoon shook his head. “I am very flattered Y/N, but I really do wish you and him the best.”

You snapped out of your thoughts and back to Hyunjae who was staring right at you with his cheeks as red as a tomato. You blinked your eyes rapidly, feeling your heart race.

Were you too blinded by the fact he was your best friend? Or were you too scared to lose him?

“Jae, I think you just need some air-”

“Y/N please, please listen to me,” Hyunjae replied.

You start to think again about you and Hyunjae and these past few years and how,

you both never resorted to dating ever since the both of you dated your exes.

How you both were always at each other’s places no matter how hectic life got.

How you both were always reminded of each other wherever you went.

How you both always ditched the others at dinner to get ice cream at the nearest parlor near your apartment.

How you both had each other at your beck and call whenever you or he needed someone.

How you both fell asleep in each other’s arms during your late-night talks on his couch.

How you both never once left each other not even once since the day you both met.

You took in a deep breath, feeling tears form in your eyes. You felt overwhelmed, to say the least, that maybe after all this time, you did like Hyunjae. Maybe it was the fear of losing your best friend that made you never want to admit your feelings.

“I never realized it. I’m so sorry Jae, I really am.”

Hyunjae started to regain his composure little by little. Realizing what he just said, he gulped. This was no dream, it all was happening in real life. He felt his heart beat even faster, perplexed by how straightforward he was. He can’t believe what he just did- he never thought he had the courage to.

As soon as he started to see tears form in your eyes, he opened them wider, in panic. “Y/N, wait-”

“Why did you have to do this at the wedding?” You asked as he put his hand to your eyes, wiping the tears away. You pouted, “Ugh, Jae my makeup.”

The both of you then smiled as he shook his head. “You’re beautiful Y/N, have I told you that?” You let out a little laugh, never seeing your best friend this smitten over you. He then glanced towards the side doors, shaking his head. “I’m going to beat their asses later.”

Hyunjae sighed, as he referred to his guy best friends whose little plan seemed to be working in their favor. “Y/N-”

“Jae, did you like me all this time?” You asked softly.

Hyunjae took in a deep breath. There’s no going back now, he had to admit to it. “Yes. Yes, I held it in. I didn’t want to lose you. I was scared because we’ve been in each other’s lives for so long, I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

“Oh my Jae, I’m so sorry I never realized it. It’s my fault.” You choked a little as Hyunjae shook his head. “No, it’s both our faults for not owning up to anything.”

“What do we do now?” You asked, letting out a little sigh.

“Are you okay with me doing this?” Hyunjae asked.

You nodded your head as he put his lips on yours. He held your face softly as a tear then escaped your eye. As you pulled away, you bit your lip a little. “Jae...”

“Hmm?” Hyunjae hummed softly.

“Thank you for never giving up on me.”

“Anything for you my dear,” Hyunjae whispered. “Thank you for being my best friend and now someone I could love dearly with all my heart.”

You both smiled in silence, as he pulled you in again for another kiss.

Little did both 6-year-old You and Hyunjae know that their future was already written the moment you stepped into the classroom that one sunlit day.

© juyuppang , 2024

landing page | masterlist

the ceremony 😭 my heart goes to the couple 😭💞 (the proposal, is definitely unforgettable though 😂)

The Sun That Always Burns | Wedding (bonus) | S.JY

sim jaeyun x afab!reader

warnings: suggestive, fluff, minor character death (mentioned), swearing, it's just tooth-rotting sweetness, not proofread.

synopsis: 6 years after you are reunited with your love, it's finally time to tie the knot.

wc: 6.5k+

masterlist

a/n: hi! it's time for that bonus chapter I promised. I wouldn't say this was an in-demand bonus but people did ask about a wedding and I wanted to give you all something for giving the series so much love! if it's in italics then it's a flashback scene <3 thank you all so much

Staring into the mirror, you see yourself exactly where you should be: in a wedding dress about to marry the love of your life, Jaeyun. It feels surreal to be here at exactly this moment. You don’t really recognise yourself but in the best, most beautiful way possible.

You run your hands down your ivory Stevie wedding dress, its a-line cut, floral lace bodice, and bishop sleeves make you feel like a princess. It looked gorgeous on you the moment you tried it on but now it’s like a whole different level. It could be due to your blowout and exquisitely done, subtle make-up. 

Taking the headpiece from its velvet-lined box you place it gently atop the crown of your head. It completes the look perfectly, the tiara flashy enough to know it’s there but not to overshadow the dress. You had to thank your maid of honour for bringing this whole look together.

“I found th-, Oh my days, Y/N, look at you!”

Speak of the devil

You turn around and pose awkwardly, seeking approval, “Do we like it?”

When Eunseo puts her hands up to her face, tears brimming in her sockets, you know you made the right choice of dress, “You look unreal. I wish I were the one marrying you.” She was always a flatterer. 

“Stop it.” You blush and turn away. A bucket ton of emotion is weighing you down as you look at your best friend through the mirror, “I’m so happy you’re here with me.” 

Considering everything you’ve both been through and who her sister is, she shouldn’t even be speaking to you right now, never mind accepting to be your maid of honour.

When Jake told Yeoreum he was leaving her the day before their wedding, Eunseo could only see red. How dare you both do this to her sister. But seeing how desperate Jake was to find you after she told you to leave, she knew it was for the best. 

“Eunseo, please where did she go? Back to Uni? I heard her mentioning Pyeongchang once, is she there?” Jake’s eyes are flying across Eunseo’s face to seek any sort of information about where you had gone.

The girl has a look of disbelief on her face. How can he ask her that, in front of her sister who is crying her eyes out? Jake not only a minute ago told Yeoreum he wasn’t marrying her and now he’s pleading with Eunseo to help him? He has a set of balls on him, that’s for sure.

The truth is, he’ll regret the way he handled the situation but at that moment, all he thought about was you. He couldn’t lose you again, not after everything. 

Eunseo turns to Yeoreum who has tears cascading down her face, mascara stains on her cheeks. She’s heartbroken obviously and Eunseo can’t do anything about it.

Facing Jake once again she sees the desperation in his eyes, “Eunseo, I know I don’t deserve your help but I am begging you, even just tell me the smallest of details, I’ll figure it out from there.” 

“Jake, you are the grottiest piece of shit I know.” She spits out, fists clench, but she sighs and thinks about how you looked at her before you left and how you said she wouldn’t understand the love between you and Jake, which is true, she doesn’t get it, but she loves you and as much as she might despise the man in front of her, she can’t stand in the way of your happiness. 

Eunseo has a choice: tell him where you would go and give you both the chance of reconciliation or deny him the information and make everyone in the situation miserable. 

“Avanti. She goes to Avanti College.” Yeoreum screeches out a ‘what?!’ and Eunseo winces, feeling like she’s betraying her, but truth be told it doesn’t matter what she does, she will always hurt someone she loves in the end. At least Yeoreum would get over it, they’re sisters after all.

“Eunseo, thank you. Thank you so much.” He places his hands gently on her shoulders, “I know it doesn’t mean much right now when I say this but,” He pauses, trying to gather his words, “Don’t blame Y/N for this. This is my decision. Don’t shut her out, I can tell she loves you.”

Eunseo knew he was right back then. You were both twin flames caught in a shitty situation, and she loves you more than she realised. Eventually, Eunseo returned to Pyeongchang and just like always there she was in the coffee shop you both frequently visited. It had been about 2 months since you saw her last and when you placed her usual coffee order on the table and sat down, she burst into tears and hugged you tight. After about 4 hours of conversation and forgiveness, she was your best friend again.

That’s the thing about best friends, their relationship lasts through even the bumpiest of rollercoasters.

“Y/N, I seriously will marry you. Leave him for me.” She deadpans before you both laugh loudly as she places her hands on your shoulders, staring at you through the mirror, “I am so glad to be by your side.” The utter honesty in her words almost has you crying. You’re so glad you didn’t lose her through all of this, she was your rock.

As she fixed your veil onto your tiara you suddenly got an overwhelming sense of pure love for not only her but your friendship, “I love you, Eunseo.” You confess so easily, just like you have over the years.

Her eyes sparkle when she turns to face you properly, “I love you too, Y/N.” She has tears in her eyes while she speaks to you, “I am so enthralled to see you happy like this.” 

You can’t remember a time you were genuinely happier than right now. Seeing Jaeyun all those years ago when he was about to be taken away from you made you realise how tightly you had to hold onto him once you had him back. And you both never wasted another second.

It was 6 years ago when you wandered into the Son family house and saw your love engaged to someone else, and it took a week for him to come back to you. Since then you’ve both been enamoured by each other, just like you were teenagers again, hopelessly and criminally in love. 

You graduated a few months later in Film and Media and landed yourself a paid internship at HYBE Media in Busan. You kept your promise to Jaeyun and as soon as you finished school, you were on the first train with your bags packed to go spend the rest of your life with him. The job itself wasn’t inherently glamorous to start with, you mostly got teas and coffees for staff on set but as you’ve progressed and worked your way up, you’re now working on several projects as Director of Photography. It's a dream come true for you, and Jaeyun has been with you every step of the way, even when you bawled and screamed at him because you were frustrated with work, he never took it to heart, instead, he would just be there. In silence, or with reassuring hugs, or pouring you a wine and gently placing it on your desk, he did whatever he thought was right for you. That’s Sim Jaeyun, always putting you at the forefront of his brain. You couldn’t be luckier to have him.

He felt the same about you. His time with the Jo Twins working on his thesis’ encouraged him to go and study for his doctorate and he’s now working towards his PhD in applied mathematics and theoretical physics. It wasn’t an easy decision for Jaeyun, money would be tighter, long hours between work and studying, and not to mention the disdain he felt leaving you for days at a time to go on research bouts. But you assured him all of this would be worth the struggle you face, and any hardship that came his way, you would both face it together. A problem shared is a problem halved as they say.

Both of you went through every emotion over the past few years, love, anger, sadness, frustration, joy, and all of it is what led you to today. Even when you both fought, you knew you couldn’t live without one another, each time an argument arose you each would look at one another and remember how tragic those 4 years without each other were the most brutal that no one wanted to go through again so you communicated and worked through everything, hand in hand. In a way, you’re glad you left back then because it helps you appreciate how lucky you are to have him now.

He was your everything. And you were his.

“I do not know why you picked a summer wedding though,” Eunseo fans herself with her two hands and whines, “Wearing this dress is too much I can’t wait to get into something a little more comfortable.” She wasn’t exactly covered, her bridesmaid dress was a thin strapped maroon-pink gown that had a slit up the side. You let her pick her own dress considering she turned down all your ideas. What she means by ‘more comfortable’ is the gold sparkly cropped dress she picked out 2 weeks ago for your reception party.

“Summer is the best time to take pictures outside in the Botanical Garden, and I look better in the sunlight.” You always did look ethereal bathed in the sun, “Besides, there is AC in the church, yeah?”

“Not in this hell of a swamp though.” She grumbles. You and Eunseo tried to adjust the AC in the hotel room you had booked to get ready but you genuinely might have to be a rocket scientist to figure out the dials, so you’re both currently sweltering. 

As you down the last of the Champagne in your glass to quench your thirst you hear a knock on the door, “Can I come in?” The familiar voice of your dad hides behind the door before he opens it and stands, looking you up and down, “Oh, wow, sweetheart you look…” His eyes don’t come off you as he strides forward, hands outstretched in front of him, “You look like a dream, Y/N.” Hugging you tight, careful not to stand on the bottom of your dress, he whispers in your ear, “Your mum would be so proud of you.”

Mum. Your one true supporter through everything. Unfortunately, she passed away 2 months ago due to an unexpected case of stage 4 cancer, it broke you and your dad to pieces, but she wasn’t in pain anymore, and that brought some comfort to you both. Bless her, she tried to hang on for the wedding but she couldn’t make it. Jaeyun had suggested having a quick ceremony at the hospital so she could see it which you were all for, but she said ‘If you get married at the foot of my bed and not at the top of an aisle I will haunt you both when I’m dead’. She meant it to, and since you believed in ghosts, you were not taking any chances.

“So, are you all set? Don’t want Jake thinking you got cold feet now do we?” He laughs softly pulling away from you. 

You look to Eunseo who just gives you a thumbs up, “Yeah, yeah I’m ready.” You were so ready.

“Great! Eunseo, phone the planner and let them know we will be there in 10 minutes.” Eunseo does as your dad instructed and reaches for both your hands, “My baby, I’m not good with words, but I am so proud of you and everything you have achieved. You will always be my little girl but looking at you now I see not my little angel trying on her mum’s high heels at 5 years old, but a woman stepping into her own, ready to walk a path with her new family.” He rubs your arms lightly, looking at you intently, “He is so lucky to have you, Y/N.” 

If your makeup wasn’t done and you weren’t about the walk down the aisle in front of over 70 people you probably would burst into tears, but you simply hold it in, biting both your lips before a sob escapes. Never has your dad said something so beautiful to you and he meant every word, “I love you, Dad.”

Nodding he holds out his arm for you to take and escorts you down the car.

On the other end, Jaeyun was standing at the altar waiting for his bride-to-be to make her grand entrance. He jumped a little and shook out all his nerves, looking for reassurance from his best man, “You don’t think she got cold feet, right? You don’t think she’s realised how unworthy I am and dipped, do you?” He whispers.

Heeseung laughs and shakes his head, “Mate, she’s on her way, I heard the event planner on their little walkie-talkie saying ‘The eagle is leaving the nest, I repeat, the eagle is leaving the nest’.”

“The eagle?”

“Y/N, obviously. Eunseo also texted me saying they were on their way.” Phew. Jaeyun lets out a sigh of relief, “You know, now is not the time to feel self-deprecation, you are literally getting married in approximately ‘10 minutes people’.” He mocks the event planner once again which eases Jaeyun a little, “If Y/N didn’t want to marry you, she wouldn’t have said yes to your atrocious proposal.”

Jaeyun cringes when he thinks about how he proposed. Out of all the declarations of love he’s done over the years, your engagement was the worst one.

“Keep them closed, baby.” Jaeyun’s fingers are sealed over your eyes as he guides you into your apartment. You’re confused as to why you were kidnapped from your work and brought back home for a ‘personal matter.’

“Jaeyun, what is going on? Did you burn the house down because if you have I will literally kill you, I just finished painting the kitchen that nice duck egg blue.” You spent your paid time off decorating the kitchen so if he even so much as scratched some of the paint off you would be fuming.

He just laughs and takes his shoes off behind you, and you follow his lead, “Have some faith in me, baby.” It’s hard to have faith when just a few weeks ago he ‘hung up’ the clothes to be dried on the veranda and forgot the clothes pegs resulting in your clothes being scattered through half of Busan when a gust of wind swept them away, “Now keep your eyes tight shut okay?”

Removing his hands from your face he shuffles towards you, running around the apartment to make sure everything is displayed perfectly, “Okay, open them!” His excited voice echoes through your ears and you open your eyes, adjusting to the sudden light. When you finally unblur your vision you see candles set up like a walkway, guiding you to the coffee table which has a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket, and polaroids scattered.

“What’s all this?” You asked, walking between the candles and inspecting your surroundings, “Jaeyun, baby?” He smiles widely, as he sits down, ushering you to do the same on the opposite side. 

Pushing the polaroids in front of you, he says lowly, “I took a picture every time I fell in love with you all over again.” Now you look at him skeptically because there have to be at least 40 polaroids here, “I know, this is me really cutting back, I think I had like 130 or something.” He says nonchalantly and your eyes widen, “But these were the moments I realised that it was just more than love.”

Picking up a few you see moments you didn’t even know he captured, your first time visiting him at work when you brought him his favourite lunch, the time you finally won a game of Cluedo because you gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, the moment you won employee of the year, and so much more, “When did you take these? I think I would have noticed a flash?”

“Actually, they aren’t real polaroids, did you know you can get your phone photos printed on these things?” He looked so cute as he looked through the pictures with you, clearly proud of his discovery. If there was a moment you wish you could capture and put on your own fake polaroid, it was this one, “Anyway, um, these moments were the ones I was going to ask you something but was too scared to.”

You tilt your head, “Ask me what?” 

His palms go sweaty as he puts down the pictures he’s holding. Whistling, you see Layla bounding over with a cute pink bow, her face as happy as ever. “Well, I’m still too scared to ask you, so I’ve asked Layla for help.” He points to her collar and you notice a piece of paper wedged in her bow. 

As you take out the paper, Jaeyun looks at Layla and asks her to get something but you’re too busy unraveling the note to notice, “Will you marry me? Wait why would Layla ask me to mar-” And it hits you as you re-read it carefully, “Jaeyun?”

“Will you? Marry me?” Layla comes back with a ring box in her mouth and Jaeyun couldn’t look more proud. 3 months he’s been training Layla for this, she’s such a good girl. Dropping the box on your lap she sits obediently, waiting for you to open it. Your heart is racing, mouth moist yet throat dry, was he truly asking you to marry him right now? Opening the box you look confused and Jaeyun goes into his normal panic mode, “What? Do you not like it?”

“Baby, there’s nothing in here?” You pass him the box and you’re right, there isn’t anything in it but the white satin lining that should be holding your pink sapphire engagement ring. 

“No, no, no, where is it?” He looks around the area quickly, hoping to catch a glimpse of the silver jeweled ring, but it’s so dark he can’t see a thing, “I swear I haven’t even taken it out of the box to look at it since I got it.” He stands up and rushes into your shared bedroom and all you can hear is him spitting profanities and tearing your belongings apart to find the ring. You don’t want to get in the way so you start to look in the living room, which would be great if you knew what exactly it looked like. 

20 minutes later he comes back into you searching under the couch flashing your phone torch, “This isn’t how this was supposed to go,” He pouts and sits on the couch exasperated, “It was supposed to be cute and romantic, I had all this stuff prepared and I still couldn’t get it right.”

“Hey,” You poke your head up from the floor and sit on your knees in front of him, soothing him as your hands rub his thighs, “I don’t care how you ask me, remember last time you asked me after we had sex that one time in my childhood bedroom?” The day he was supposed to be marrying Yeoreum, which is totally ironic now that you look back on it.

“That was different, I asked you that as a promise to marry you, this is meant to be the real deal.”

You can see how upset he is by the way he’s pouting, and not his usual absentminded cuteness pout, a real lip-jutted-out moment. Every fiber of you wants to just tell him to leave it because let's face it, ring or no ring your answer would be the same, but he has worked so hard for this, you need to help him see it through, “Okay, so when did you last have the box to check the ring?”

Signing he leans forward, taking your hands in his, “Literally before I picked you up from work to bring you here, I ran through it with Layla a few times and left. It was there, Y/N I swear.”

“Shh I know, I know. Maybe Layla dropped it?” Not that you were trying to direct the blame onto his precious baby, but she’s the only explanation right now, “Let's have a look around to see where she could hav-”

“She ate it…” He whispers, “What if she ate it?” Jaeyun’s eyes widen as he gets up off the couch and runs to his dog, hitting you in the face with his knee in the process. Too engrossed in the idea of Layla consuming the £2,000 ring that he doesn’t comprehend the blood coming from your nose, “Layla, open your mouth, angel, let me see.” 

Blood starts to stain your t-shirt as it trickles down through your fingers as you hold each side of your nose. He was so clumsy when he wanted to be that if your injury didn’t hurt like a bitch you would have found him endearing right now. You walk to the bathroom and past the pleading man, arguing with a dog to cough up the jewelry. The cold running water helps a little with numbing the pain but the swelling of your nose insinuates that you might need to get it checked out, “Baby?” Your nasally tone brings him to look at you and his eyes nearly bulge out of his head.

“Fuck, Y/N what happened?” You could laugh, and you’re going to before he trips over the carpet in an attempt to rush over to you, knocking over a candle and starting a small fire. Everything is going wrong, this might go down in history as the worst proposal ever made, “Shit, shit,” He mutters, putting out the fire with a damp cloth he retrieved from the kitchen sink which luckily did the job.

With the smoke detector beeping, Layla barking, and Jaeyun stomping the fire out, you can only laugh, “Let’s do it.”

Your boyfriend looks up at you confused, “What?”

“Let’s get married.”

Turns out, Layla did eat the ring and after a hefty vet bill and some laxatives later, you got your ring. You steeped it in bleach and cleaned it to the high heavens but now you wear it with pride. Your nose was also broken due to his knee colliding with you, but it worked in your favour because Jaeyun felt so guilty about what he did that he was at your beck and call, he did every little thing for you and showered you with more kisses than ever before. Despite the chaos that occurred that night, you still said yes and agreed to be his forever and always, and now here you both are.

Jaeyun exhales sharply while Heeseung adjusts his black bowtie, “Jake, why are you so nervous? All you’ve spoken about since you were 15 is how much you’re looking forward to marrying Y/N.” He understands what his best friend is saying but isn’t it natural to be nervous?

“I’m not anxious about marrying her, I just don’t want to disappoint her. It’s easy for her to leave just now, we aren’t legally bound, but what if in years to come she doesn’t want me anymore because I do something stupid or can’t give her what she needs? I mean, I don’t even have a stable job right now, I’m relying on her when it should always be the other way around.”

He keeps rambling a list of reasons why you might get bored or tired of him until Heeseung interjects, “Jake, mate, there is not a man in the world that can love her as you can and she knows that. She’s besotted with you and trust me, Y/N is the only one that can put up with you,” He pats the groom's shoulder before continuing, “And who cares if you’re studying still, it’s all for your future, a future you have put Y/N at the forefront of. Gender norms have made you think men should look after women but it isn’t about who can provide what for whom, it’s about being there for each other equally, and you both are.”

Heeseung’s words instill Jaeyun with comfort and before he gets the chance to overthink again, he sees the priest walking to the alter. This is it. He’s getting married, and he’s going to be your man forever, “Okay, I gotta go and walk with Eunseo. Breathe and try not to cry when you see her.” Heeseung smirks as he jets off through the side doors to take his place as the ceremony gets underway.

Eunseo, who looks like a vision, walks with her hand grasping Heeseung’s arm as they lead the trail of bridesmaids and groomsmen down the aisle. Jaeyun greets them all as they come up and take their places, calming himself down as he anticipates your arrival. Nothing can prepare him for what he sees next.

As a piano version of Howl’s Moving Castle’s ‘Merry Go Round of Life’ echoes through the church, the grand wooden doors open once again to unveil you and your dad walking side by side, gracefully gliding your way down the aisle. All those weeks of practicing how to float on your feet are finally working, granted, all you’re focusing on right now is not faceplanting the ground. 

You look beguiling in your dress, so much so that Jaeyun’s breath catches in his throat, and his eyes water. In Jaeyun’s eyes, you always look beautiful whether it be in your everyday work clothes or his jumpers that he selfishly forces you to wear to bed because you look so good when he fucks you in them. You’re perfect, however, now that he’s seeing you in a wedding dress, a sheepish smile on your face because you hate the attention you’re receiving from the ogling eyes of the attendees, he realises what an honour it is to witness you right now, walking to him about to vow yourself loyal to him for eternity. It’s that thought that sends him over the edge and a few tears slip down his cheeks.

Seeing him cry fills you with glee because isn’t that what everybody wants at their wedding? For their partner to shed tears when they see you? It makes you smile widely and look at your dad who has a similar look on his face, “If he didn’t cry I would have turned you back and kept walking until he did.” He chuckles as you slap his chest with your sunflower bouquet. 

Taking your hand, your dad helps you step up to the altar, hugging you tightly, “I love you, Y/N. So does your mum.” He pats his heart before walking to Jaeyun who is too busy looking at you in awe, “Jake, son, be good to my girl, just as you have been.” Jaeyun was expecting a more threatening speech from your father to be fair, but your dad knew Jaeyun would never hurt you, and if he did it would never be intentional, so he doesn’t need to browbeat him into treating you well.

As everyone sits back down and you hand your flowers to Eunseo, it’s finally time for you to look at Jaeyun properly. He looks gorgeous, his simple black suit with extra button detailing, the bowtie you begged him to wear rather than a traditional tie because he looked so cute when he jokingly tried it on, and his dark hair slicked back, pieces framing his face, “Hi.” You say just loud enough for him to hear.

“Hi, baby,” Jaeyun has the biggest urge to kiss you but that’s not how these ceremonies work so he settles for taking your hands and bringing them to his lips, “You look so fucking beautiful.”

“Jaeyun!” You scold him quietly, “Don’t swear in church.” 

“Shit, sorry.” He shuts his eyes as he does it again, leaning his head back to stop himself from blundering anymore. 2 minutes in and he’s already fucking up the most important day of his life. 

The priest side-eyes you both as he clears his throat, “We will begin.” This is going to be a hell of a shift for him.

Halfway through the ceremony, you regret wearing heels because no one told you how long this would drag on. How many blessings and quotes from the bible did this guy have to say before you get to say ‘I do’ and call it a day? Looking at your soon-to-be husband you notice his eyes trailing down your body. Surely he isn’t thinking anything provocative in God’s house?

He was. Of course he was, it’s Jaeyun. As he consumes you through his gaze he notices how your tits look in the plunge-lined dress and more importantly how you couldn’t be wearing a bra underneath. Since he didn’t get to see you last night he might be a little deprived, especially when you looked so good right before you left.

Picking up your overnight bag you double-check you have everything, “Okay, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” You grin brightly as you walk over to Jaeyun.

He makes you drop your bag, his arms circling your waist as he pulls you in for a kiss, his tongue licking into your mouth straight away. It’s the kind of kiss that leads to you either bent over the couch or trapped between him and a wall, either of those things would make you elated right now. So you give into him as your hands find their way into his mane, tugging him further down into your lips. 

Smirking, Jaeyun is just about to lift you up and carry you to the nearest surface when Eunseo barges in, sighing at the sight before her, “Guys, we need to go! I got a taxi waiting downstairs waiting for me and Y/N.” 

“Let me have 5 more minutes with my girl.” Jaeyun huffs and keeps kissing you, not caring much about the interruption of your best friend but unluckily for him, you do care and start to pull away, “Baby, no,” He whines, “I’ll pay whatever the fare is, just stay for max 10 minutes.”

You laugh and shake your head, “I need to go, Jaeyun. You have forever with me after tomorrow.”

Squeezing his hand you bring him out of his thoughts and have that harsh stare in your eyes. He knows he’s been caught thinking illicit things in the holy house but he can’t seem to care right now.

“Now, did you each write your own vows?” The priest asks.

This is the part you’ve been dreading the most. When Jaeyun suggested, more like demanded you both write vows, you panicked. Jaeyun is so good with his words, he’s naturally emotive whether you feel things deeply but don’t know how to express them. Heeseung and Eunseo offered you some help but you couldn’t even describe how you felt about Jaeyun because you’ve never been able to put it into words. Not when you were explaining it to Eunseo that day, not even to your notes app. It’s too pure and immense to put in a few paragraphs. 

Jaeyun had struggled with writing his vows too, except it was the opposite, he couldn’t keep his words to an appropriate limit. All his love and devotion to you poured onto the scrapped paper turned into 5 A4 pages front and back. 

“I’ll go first.” You blurt out. Better to get it over and done with and not feel pressured by what surely will be the most romantic words known to man that Jaeyun will say in the next 5 minutes.  Jaeyun beams and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you find the piece of paper in your cleavage. The dress was beautiful but woefully for you it lacked pockets. 

“I’ll love anything you say, baby.” He whispers to you because he knows you so well, the slight change in your breathing and trembling hands go unnoticed by most, but not to your lover.

“Okay,” You breathe out and begin, “Nothing makes me more sick than speaking publicly and I regret only having one glass of champagne before doing this,” The hall fills with laughter, pity or not you’ll take it. “My Jaeyun, for the past 14 years I have never been able to put into words my feelings for you, and I think I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to do so. My love for you goes beyond words spoken, it runs deep into my veins like a venom that slowly consumes me into madness, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Alan Watts said that people don’t rise into love but fall and that life is an act of faith and an act of gamble. That love is an act of surrender to another person. When I fell in love with you, I went in with no safety net, no precaution, I just fell for you so deeply knowing that you would be there to catch me. 

I want to be that for you too. That’s what my vow is to you, to catch you if you fall too deeply, carry you over every threshold, and love you for an eternity. Give me your hand today, and I’ll promise my heart to you forever.” 

Silence. Is that good? Bad? You can’t even bring yourself to look at Jaeyun out of fear. All that re-writing and tearing your hair out was over before you knew it. Was it too short? How long was it supposed to go on anyway?

All these questions run wild in your head, and they’re all settled by a single touch, Jaeyun’s touch. He traps your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, lifting your head so your eyes meet. Jaeyun’s loving pout is back, his iris’ flooded with the purity of his love. He liked it.

“I love you so much, Y/N.” With a swift lean down, his lips are on yours and you melt against him. He knows he shouldn’t kiss you right now, but he needed you to know how much he appreciated the words you spoke, how he knows you would have spent weeks on your vows, and they were even better than anything he could have imagined.

The priest coughs, breaking the kiss, “Sorry, Father.” Your fiance bows softly and steps back again, a smirk spreading on his face, “My turn now, huh? No pressure or anything.” Everyone laughs once again, none of you have looked at your loved ones since the wedding started so you miss the weeping cries of his mother and others. They could feel the love in the room even just looking at you both.

Jaeyun reaches into his inner pocket pulling out his neatly written vows and starts, “Dear, Y/N. If I could go back and tell 15-year-old me that he would one day be marrying that girl who sat next to him on the bus journey to their first day of high school, I think he might pass out. From the minute you pushed passed people to take the seat next to me, and when the sun shone on your face, I knew you were going to change my life. I love you for everything you are, and everything you make me.” 

He pauses, reading the rest of his vows to himself before folding the paper and putting it back in his pocket, “I spent hours trying to say the right words, but I guess I should just say how I feel in this moment, right? Truth is, my body and soul belong to you, they exist to love you and help you through thick and thin, to be there for you even when we are apart. I don’t want to exist as a separate entity from you but rather that we become one so we can share everything this life has to give us. Rain or sunshine, I want us to walk this path together. If you have a hard time, I’ll have a hard time with you. If you feel overwhelmed, I want to be overwhelmed with you. I know it’s usually the opposite, that I’m supposed to say I’ll take care of you and heal you, but facing these things together isn’t having someone hold you up, but rather taking your hand and understanding you, being complete with you one hundred percent. I vow that to you, my love.

You say to me all the time that you don’t deserve the love you receive from me, yet, I think it’s the other way around. Everything you have ever done since we’ve known one another has been for me. You’re selfless and I can’t ever thank you enough for that. But from this day, as my wife, stop sacrificing yourself lets live every single day together, as one, so we can always be connected.” 

Tears are cascading down your face with every word he says just like you knew would happen. Jaeyun is the most beautiful, kind-hearted, generous, and loving person you have ever had the privilege of knowing. And as soon as you both say ‘I do’ he will be yours forever.

His thumb wipes your tears as he kisses you again, despite the huff from the priest, “I love you so much, Y/N. I’m so serious.” And it’s not just his words that convince you, it’s the way his lips are so gently capturing yours like this kiss seals everything you both said and locks it into eternity. 

“I love you too, Jaeyun. So fucking much.” He smiles as he hears you swear, the exact thing you reprimanded him for earlier but it just meant you were too lost in the moment, too lost in being his. 

“I suppose we should speed this up,” The priest starts, “Y/N L/N, do you take Sim Jaeyun to be your lawfully wedded husband?” 

“I do, forever.” 

“And do you, Sim Jaeyun, take Y/N L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“Of course I do.” 

“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now keep kissing the bride I suppose.” 

Jaeyun laughs into the kiss as he deepens it, trying his best to keep it modest considering your family is all watching. He has never been happier in his life, the way he can legally call you his wife feels surreal like a dream come true. If it is a dream, he never wants to wake up, “All mine.”

You smile as he whispers into your mouth, “All yours, Jaeyun.”

Your journey with Jaeyun has been a wild ride but none of you would change what happened because right now in this moment is exactly where you both should be. You are his love and he is yours, no time apart would have ever changed that, and it never will.

“Should we get out of here, Mr. Sim?”

“Let’s do it, Mrs. Sim.”

shy boy on the streets, a needy boy on the sheets ✊🏼😩❤️

♡ reblogging from my shadow-reader days ♡

mixtape moans. (m)

pairing: shy!mark x cheerleader!reader

words: 2.1k+

summary: you’ve learned that your shy boyfriend has written a song about you, incorporating sounds that are not made for the public to hear.

genre: smut

warnings: oral, degradation, multiple orgasms, accidental creampie

Keep reading

first time jitters, yet he hits it so well 😩💞

The Sun That Always Burns | S.JY pt.1

sim jaeyun x afab!reader

warnings for chapter: friends to lovers, mentions of self-doubt, sexual content/smut (mdni), fluff - like super fluffy, first times, pet names (love, princess, baby, etc.), protected sex, if I missed any lmk!

synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. however, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other, but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.

wc: 8.3k+

part 2 | part 3

a/n: hi! I decided to post at least the beginning of the story. this whole story is like 50k but honestly, you could read this as a stand-alone. It's not great and a little slow because all the juicy stuff happens later on but it is super fluffy. the chapters will probably be longer but for now, I'm keeping it short-ish.

The first time you met Sim Jaeyun was on the number 18 bus headed to your first day of high school. It was August, the sun was shining, and little did you know that the sunshine wasn’t confined to the sky. The bus was busy, students new and old graced the seats and aisles, and a sea of navy blue and black flooded your vision. Then you spotted it, a tiny seat at the back gone unnoticed. As you push your way to the back of the bus ignoring the disgruntled travellers, you take a seat and huff a breath, victory playing slightly on your lips. 

You are observant of your surroundings, one of the many traits you got from your mum. Not so observant, however, as you missed the way the boy beside you eyed you from the side smiling.  The sun shone heavy then. As the bus pulled up to your new school, people flocked to the tall building. The stones were an ash yellow, letters missing from the sign that sat above the entrance doors, and cracks on the pavement from neglect. You wondered if this was a foresight into your academic career.

“I heard it’s haunted on the third floor.” A voice so suddenly pulled you out of your trance. You twisted your head around to see a boy, the sun seemed to get warmer as you watched his smile appear. “Hi.” His hand raised slightly to give a wave, his head tilting with his smile spread so wide you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Hi”, you look back at the building, “is it really haunted? Because I will not even step foot in the building if it is.” 

He shrugs, “Rumour is there is a girl that occupies the third-floor girls bathroom. Her eyes got scratched out by a fox and no one came to help her, so now she haunts the bathroom to get revenge. If you see her reflection in the mirror and stare in her eyes, she claws them out.” 

You shiver, a sudden sick feeling rising from your chest, “Oh absolutely not”, you turn but he grabs your shoulders and faces you to the school, the sun suddenly exasperatingly hot. His back is pressed against you as his slight chuckle sounds through your ears.

“If you can face it for one day, you can face it for the next few years, yeah?” You looked at the school once again, inhaled, looked at the boy, and exhaled. His smile, that smile, was just enough to get you to nod. What you didn’t know is that the story wasn’t even a rumour, it was all in the boy’s head. He saw you, scared and apprehensive to enter the school. He wanted to let you know that if you can survive the first day of high school, you can survive them all.

“Y/N” you muttered, his eyes, those wide, brown eyes looked at you inquisitively, “My name, it’s Y/N”. That smile returned as he moved to the front of you.

“Jaeyun, or Jake. I don’t really mind.” He scratched his forearm as he let out a nervous chuckle. You finally take him in. You notice it all, the thick black hair in an almost middle parting, his straight thick eyebrows, his prominent lower lip that naturally goes into a pout, and his deep yet bright eyes that bore into yours. You took him all in. And he did the same. His teenage self saw you, every piece of you, you felt for the first time, that someone other than your reflection truly saw you. The sun burned your cheeks that day. 

You learned so much about him that day alone. You learned that he loved football, that he was smart and creative, that he loves his dog Layla more than anything else, he hates being scared yet he has fun at haunted houses. He becomes your best friend by lunchtime. It was the next few weeks that let you learn everything you needed to know about Jaeyun. He bit his lip more often than not, he runs his fingers through his hair frequently, and his eyes go wide when he gets excited and wider when he is curious, when he smiles widely enough his gums start to show. You notice it all. He becomes your first love by Christmas. 

You never let him know you’ve fallen for him. Why would you want to ruin such a beautiful friendship when he doesn’t feel the same way? You think he likes you for a while, but when you see him flirting with the class rep one too many times, you keep your feelings between you and the moon. 

But that was just it, his flirting with the class rep was nothing more than his friendly nature. That touch he laid on her arm was just a simple gesture, with no deeper meaning. You notice his behavior with her and yet just like the first day, you fail to truly observe him. Jaeyun’s hands on your thigh as he laughed at your terrible jokes, his head that leaned on your shoulder even when he wasn’t tired, how he’d stroke your hair while you were talking to your other classmates, his hugs lingering a little longer as he closed his eyes, how he subconsciously took the mushrooms from your side of the pizza because you hate the texture. You missed it all.

__

One year later you’re both inseparable. You’re happy. Jaeyun is disgruntled. You have a date, it has been a common occurrence since you turned 16. You go on dates, you think they’re the one and cry to Jaeyun about how you’re unlovable. It’s teenage naivety, it’s silly, it’s hurting him more than you could ever know. Jaeyun helps you pick out a dress that makes you look like you’re the only girl to ever exist. The pink sundress sits perfectly around your frame, the sun is out but clouds are forecasted, so you opt for a light white jacket. 

“Is this okay?” You ask observing yourself in the mirror. You aren’t delusional, you know you aren’t the prettiest girl in the world, but when you put on a dress like this, you hope you look good enough. Jaeyun is hyper-aware of how you check yourself in the mirror a little longer than normal. All the dates and rejections, it’s getting to you, and Jaeyun hates it. He stands and stands close behind you.

“You look like a princess. One any man would go to war for.”

You stop and take in his words. The sun leaks in through your window as you turn to him, “Be serious, Jake,” you say to him with annoyance, “can you be serious.”

He doesn’t understand, he is serious. Then, just like that it hits him. You don’t believe him, you never have. Jaeyun has spent the past year observing you, your every movement, every lipstick, every dress, every blush. You have seen only one version of yourself and yet Jaeyun has seen every version. Every perfect version of you. “I am serious,” his hands land on your shoulder and hold you still, just like the first day you met, “You look beautiful”. He wished he could say anything more, but his 16-soon-to-be-17 year old self only has so many ways to express his thoughts of you.

“Yeah,” you scoff and it makes Jaeyun stare at you, “If I was then I would have a boyfriend by now”. Jaeyun feels it, harder than anything before, the urge to scream. As he goes to speak your phone dings. You pick it up, leaving his hands empty from your shoulders yet he is still, staring at the mirror, suddenly aware that maybe, just maybe, he isn’t enough. Not enough for you. The sun sets behind clouds.

“Mark is here. I’ll speak to you when I get back!” You hug him quickly goodbye and ascend down the stairs. His body doesn’t move. The sun gets overtaken by the moon.

It’s 9 pm that night, not a word from you. He thinks the worst, you’re always back by 8 pm latest. He texts you. Y/N, are you okay? Did everything go well?

An incoming call. Y/N. He answers immediately.

“Jake,” pause, “what's wrong with me?”

That night he comes over and his first sight is your tear-stained face. You’re in your bedroom, crying into his shoulder as he strokes your hair, an unfortunate circumstance you have found yourself in too many times this year. “Why can’t I just find someone to love me.” The statement makes Jaeyun’s hands tense around your shoulders and his jaw tense. You feel the shift and pull away as you see his eyes, stained glassed in tears, “Jake…what’s wrong?”

“Am I not enough?” The question knocks you back, confused. 

“What-”

“Why is it never me you choose? Why is it everyone but me?” His jaw is tight and tears are leaving his usually bright eyes. You try to process his words, make sense of them and yet your brain isn’t comprehending anything that is happening. He inhales deeply before he speaks, but no words come out. You realise you have to say something.

And yet, no words come from you either, desperate stares are exchanged between you both as your jaw hangs open. The silence is enough for Jaeyun to feel he has ruined everything, and yet the silence means so much more than that. It’s realisation of the feelings you’ve buried, a realisation that Jaeyun, maybe just maybe, feels something for you. 

Jaeyun can’t hide his emotions, not truly. He’s open and honest about everything. If he’s sad, happy, angry, or guilty, he feels it tenfold and it pours out. This was the one time he wished that wasn’t the case right now. 

Shaking your head you look at him, “Jaeyun,” his eyes fall to his lap as he runs through what he’s just said, thinking about how any moment you’re going to walk out that door and never speak to him again. “Jaeyun,” you repeat, hoping he’ll look at you; he doesn’t. “What are you saying?” You needed confirmation.

“You look at everyone else, give them your time, put on your cute dresses for these boys that don’t deserve it. I’m not saying I deserve it but,” He looks at you with a fervor in his eyes you’ve not seen, or rather, hadn’t noticed, “can’t I get a chance to prove that I deserve it.”  There is a want in his eyes, an innocent want of love, of pure unfiltered love. His chest feels like it's been buried in cement and his breathing is jagged through the tears he forgets are cascading down his face. 

Without a beat of hesitation, your hands find their way to cup his face, your body shifting so you’re placed in front of his crossed legs. Your tears have stopped, crusted on your blushed cheeks. “Sim Jaeyun, you are everything I have ever wanted.” And it was true. You never told him why these dates didn’t work out. You started out thinking it was because you weren’t good enough but as more dates happened you came to the realisation that its because they weren’t. They weren’t your Jaeyun. Your thumb wipes the free-falling tears and he looks at you, eyes wide.

The moon shines as bright as the sun as the confession pours from your lips. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I didn’t think I was an option for you so I tried to find someone that wanted me back.” His jaw tenses under your touch, the words hurt. His hands found their way to your waist and squeezed, a reassurance that you were always an option, the only option. “But none of them were you.” The last sentence was a whisper, the room so silent it felt like you were shouting.

Jaeyun notices the tightness in his chest ease, and yet, he can’t speak. He can only hug you tightly. Any words he has the courage to say, he can’t speak while looking into your eyes. His chin rests on your shoulder, one of his hands still situated on your hip while the other is tangled in your hair. “You’re so stupid.” He mentally cringes as the words leave his mouth. Out of all the thoughts in his head, why were they the ones to flee? His hand strokes your hair as he pulls back relieved to see a smile on your face. “You’re so stupid, Y/N.” then he cups your cheek as he looks lovingly into your eyes. It feels like he is searching into your soul, trying to ask for permission - permission for what he doesn’t know. 

And then you kiss him. Your first kiss. His first kiss. It’s soft, not much movement, but enough for both of you to understand each other's feelings. The air feels hot like the sun like it’s a hot August day. Like that first day.

Jaeyun shared every first with you. First kiss, first date, first time, first fight, first makeup.

__

When you both went to school the next day, you held his hand. He took your hand in his often but this was the first time you held it as his. His love. People didn’t even notice at first, you guys were always together but when he kissed you so tenderly outside of your math class it caught the attention of others. Jaeyun kissed you a lot. Soft fluttering pecks were bestowed upon your face any chance he could take like he was making up for lost time. 

“Go on a date with me,” Jaeyun says as a statement rather than a question. 

You looked at him with a smile and head tilted back. Hands are intertwined with his as you start to swing them gently back and forth, “When?”

“Tomorrow. There is an outside movie theatre that opened up last week. They’re showing Labyrinth.” He notices your eyes shine, “I already bought the tickets so you have to go with me.” He laughed.

You paused and furrowed your brows, “But you don’t like Labyrinth, you said it’s too weird that David Bowie is trying to seduce a teenager.” 

“True,” He kisses your head, “but it’s your favourite movie. I’ll look past the unnecessary bulges and age gap for you.” Your head hilts back and he notices, “What?”

“You know they don’t actually date, right? Like he just infatuated with her innocence,” you pause and he smirks, “Oh..okay now yeah I understand what you mean.” He laughs at your final realisation. That laugh that made you smile. That laugh that made you want to start flying.

“Well, now we can go see it and you can watch it in a whole new light.” He kisses your lips, lingering there a little longer. He whispers against your lips, “So come with me?” You peck his lips and nod as you move back. 

“You just ruined my favourite movie for me but since it’s you I suppose so.” You roll your eyes.

“Good. The tickets are nonrefundable.” He pulls you into him and laughs. Jaeyun’s chest vibrates under your cheek and his heartbeat fast. 

You loved this. The way nothing had changed. Emotions were just heightened in the best possible way. Jaeyun was still Jaeyun, he was just your Jaeyun now.

“I gotta head to practice, Y/N. I’ll text you when it’s done.” He kissed you for the nth time and stared at you, “Don’t miss me too much, baby” He smirked as he saw your face go red. He had never called you any nickname before and especially not a pet name like this. 

You gather yourself and roll your eyes and playfully slap his chest, “I think it’s more that you shouldn’t miss me.” 

“I always do.” Not a beat missed, sincerity flooding his soft voice as he spoke the confession to you. Jaeyun was everything you could have asked for. He was it for you.

__

You and Jaeyun’s first date was 30 minutes away. 30 minutes to stop your heart from leaping out of your chest and for your whole body to cool down. It was unchartered territory. You had been on all those dates but you could always calm yourself down by saying at least it’s not Jaeyun but now it is. So what do you do? 

The sundress you picked out is suddenly feeling wrong. What if he doesn’t like it? What if you look frumpy when you sit down? You stand in the mirror observing every possible angle he could see you in to determine whether to keep it on or not. Jaeyun has seen you in every type of state from sleep deprived to sick. It couldn’t be worse than that, right?

Just as the golden sun floods through your window there is a knock at the front door. One last glance over in the mirror and a spray of perfume earns another chap at the door. You run downstairs and open the door quickly. “Sorry, I was just finishing getting ready.” You say before the door is even fully open.

Jaeyun is speechless. His breath is shallow as he looks at you in the dress. Blue like the sky in June, your hair wavy with two white bows holding back those pieces that annoy you. He usually tucks them behind your ear because he knows how they annoy you. His eyes glance at your neck, a little wet from the perfume you had sprayed. His mouth is dry, his palms are sweaty, suddenly he rethinks every decision he has made with the choice of beige trousers, a white top, and a denim vest. He felt so stupid.

You look at him and see his brain working overtime. Oh no, you think to yourself. Is he trying to think of a compliment because he hates it?

You’re both stupid. Stupidly in love.

“You look,” he pauses trying to put into words how he feels, “You look like you’re the muse for the stars.” They weren’t even all the words he wanted to say but all he could muster up.

A blush creeps up to your cheeks and the hairs on your neck stand up. You look into his eyes, but his are too busy taking you in. You feel shy suddenly. There is a strange look on his face, like something you’ve seen in movies but never in real life. 

“Um, thank you, Jaeyun.” You cough and grab your jacket from the wooden rack, “You ready to go?” 

“Yeah.” He breathlessly lets out, not taking his eyes off you, but never making eye contact. He’s scared to, just in case he says something too soon, too fast. He watches you put on your white slightly creased jacket. He loved this jacket on you. He loved everything on you really.

The walk to the outdoor movie is filled with random conversation, but he never looks at you. Jaeyun’s brain is filled with nothing but admiration; for you, for your outfit, for your body. He chokes it down, but every time your hair flies behind your ear he has to recompose himself.

You both arrive at the movie and give your tickets to the box office before finding your seats. There is little space to choose from but you find a summer seat on the left, a perfect fit for the both of you. The sun is setting.

Jaeyun pulls a blanket from his bag along with some strawberry laces, your favourite. “Thanks, Jaeyun.” You smile and he reciprocates the gesture. You sit with your legs crossed as you drape the blanket over you both, “Thank you for taking me here.” 

“I’ll take you anywhere you want to.” He nonchalantly states as he looks for the snacks he packed and your heart flutters.

Once everything settles and the movie starts you move close to him, your knees resting over his thigh. It makes him settle his arm on your leg, his hand placed over your knee. Your body stills as you feel his hand rub your knee gently, he doesn’t know what he is doing to you. As you look down you see his arm, veins prominently showing making you swallow but your mouth is dry. You’re weak.

Jaeyun notices you shift slightly and he looks to you, “Are you okay, Y/N?” You simply nod and try to focus on the movie. Suddenly you start to notice Jareth’s bulge a lot more than you used to.

Damn was it always that in your face? You think to yourself. Jaeyun squeezes your knee to get your attention as he leans into you, “You think I could pull off that outfit?” he points and sniggers as Jareth is shown on screen wearing the tightest silver trousers to ever grace mankind. 

Normally you would laugh at the thought and come up with a snarky comment but right now, with his hand now placed on your thigh where the blanket has fallen, you imagining what he really would look like in those trousers - more importantly how big he would look - you half-heartedly let out a laugh and his right eyebrow raise. “You okay, babe? You look kinda pale.” His hand squeezes your thigh and you jolt up in panic startling Jaeyun. 

“I um, I’m gonna go and uh,” you look around for any escape. You see a drink stand and thank whatever higher power there is for this opportunity, “Um, I’m going to get a drink, like, do you want one?” You grab your bag not waiting for a response and head to the bright yellow stand.

Jaeyun is confused because he thought everything was going well. His mind started to swirl as he watched you put in your order. His eyes suddenly grew wide as it clicked into his mind, his hand, he was pushing you. This is your first date and he was so stupid to touch and squeeze you like that. He shoves his head in his hands and digs his palms into his eyes. You’re so stupid of course she feels awkward you’re groping her on an innocent first date, are you thick?

You come back with a cherry diet coke for yourself and a grapeade for him. You hand him the drink and sit down. He mutters a quick thanks and shuffles away from you. You notice his sudden movement and sigh. If only you weren’t so wrapped up in your own horny thoughts you might have been able to have a normal date. Why were you suddenly so aware of every attractive point of your boyfriend? You’ve known him for so long you should have had plenty of time to oggle at him so why did you choose now? When he was trying to do something nice for you and now look, you thought, you’ve made him uncomfortable.

The rest of the date is quiet, you find yourself quietly singing along not noticing how Jaeyun is stealing glances. It's just like before you were his, the silent stares and longing to hold you. But he couldn’t, not now that he thinks he’s made you uncomfortable, not realising it wasn’t the uncomfortable he thinks it is.

The movie ends and you walk home in silence. Jaeyun doesn’t hold your hand, doesn’t look up, and simply keeps his head down until you get to your house.

“Jaeyun I-”

“Y/N, I’m sorry”

You both start at the same time, his head still hanging low as your eyebrows furrow,

“Why are you apologising? I should be the one to apologise.” You state matter of factly.

“Y/N, you never have to apologise if you feel uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have pushed it so far. I was so stupid to just put my hand on your thigh like that, it was inappropriate.” He rants. 

You are as confused as he was earlier. You step forward and grab his hand, “Jaeyun I was never uncomfortable with that?” You blush as you go to say what you were really feeling but you stop yourself. 

His head raises, eyes wide, “Then why did you just suddenly get up? Don’t lie to me, if I made you uncomfortable don’t feel the need to pretend I didn’t just to save my feelings-”

“I was turned on.” Shit. Your hand leaves him and flies over your mouth, eyes widen.

If you could slap a man right now it would be Jaeyun. Slap that smug look off his face as his jaw is slack, smile on his face, and tongue tracing his canine. He shortly laughs and turns around so his back is facing you as he lets out the heartiest laugh he can. “Jaeyun please stop laughing.” You find yourself slightly laughing as your hands cover your whole face.

Jaeyun spins and clasps his hands doubling over. You groan and playfully hit his shoulder.

Then just like that, his hands cup your face and his lips are on yours. “Baby, I thought I crossed the line.” He mumbles in between kisses. You’re hands wrap around his waist as you feed into the kiss. It’s passionate and hot, nothing like the rest. His hand comes around your throat and you feel his silver ring coldly pressed to your neck and you gasp. He uses this as an opportunity to stick his tongue down your throat. You’re moaning, your body is pressing against him, feeling like you need to be connected to him in every way possible. 

“Y/N,” he whines into your mouth and you simply nod and kiss him deeper, if it was even possible.

Jaeyun sees a light turn on in your house. It was your mum and you were about to be caught any second. “Shit, baby. I gotta go before your mum castrates me.” You shake your head and mutter a nu-uh as you pull him in for a kiss again, but Jaeyun simply pecks your lips and pulls away. “Y/N please.” He fixes your hair in a rush and wipes your mouth with his thumb, “to be continued, yeah?” Jaeyun smiles before bolting away from the door, just in time as your mum opens the door.

“Y/N? What are you doing standing out here?” Your mum questions you but you simply smile and shake your head never uttering a word. Heading upstairs to your bedroom you think about everything that happened. Your phone lights up your dark room like the sun protruding through clouds.

I’m so happy I get to kiss you like that forever x 

________

You and Jaeyun were kissing like that every chance you could. Before either of your mums got home, behind the stairwell during class, in the library during study periods, literally anytime you could. Everyone was sick of you both, teachers and students would roll their eyes. ‘You guys are so disgusting’, ‘Please get out of my face with this lovey-dovey shit okay?’, ‘Mr. Sim could you please move to the back of the class, this is a place of learning’. Jaeyun always laughed and said it was just because they were jealous.

All you guys did was kiss but the more you did, the more you needed him in every sense.

One night your phone pings indicating a text message. It was Jaeyun.

Are you awake?

Jaeyun was never one to message you this late.

I am. Are you okay?

Can I come see you? Are your parents home?

You take a breath in

You can come. Let me know when you’re outside and i’ll let you in

Time drags by slowly as you wait for him to text. This was so unlike him. Jaeyun never asked to randomly see you unless it was a reasonable hour, not half one in the morning. Your brain started to swirl around imagining every scenario. A breakup was forefront in your mind.

You and Jaeyun had been doing amazing, like something out of a crappy teenage love story but that doesn’t mean everything was peachy. But nothing that could warrant a breakup. 

Your phone pings. Your inhale holds for a solid 20 seconds before you check it.

out front x

You make your way downstairs, not unlike your first date with Jaeyun except this time you were quiet, floating down the stairs as best you could. You open the door and there he is. Clad in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, his feet are wearing the Timberland shoes you (your parents technically) bought him. The denim jacket he was seemingly wearing before is draped over his arm.

“Hi,” he says quietly. You say nothing but instead, move out of his way to let him in. It doesn’t take but a second for him to step in and make his way up the stairs to your bedroom. Your parents are aware Jaeyun occupies your bedroom most days, but they would never allow him at this hour. You follow him into your bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind you.

“Jaeyun, what’s wrong?” you ask so quietly that he almost misses it. But he always hears you. 

“I just,” he stops and sits on your bed watching his fingers as he seemingly counts them, “I needed to see you.” He doesn’t look at you. The atmosphere is heavy.

“Talk to me.” You see him stop as you say this. His body is rigid suddenly. Jaeyun was always so open and honest so you quickly sit next to him in the hopes it will encourage him to speak. “You can tell me anything-”

“I love you.”

The interruption is quick, too quick. You swallow your words and look at him. His eyes are focused on his hands but they’re panicked. Say something you think to yourself and the first words are,

“You do?”

He looks to the side but not quite in your eyes as he confesses, “Of course. I’ve loved you since I met you, I think.”

Deep inside you knew. You knew he was in love with you, and you him, yet here you are startled by his words. Your throat closes as you go to say it back. Why is your body so against you saying those simple words you’ve felt for so long?

“Y/N? Please say something.” He pleads. Is voice is strained, almost waiting for you to reject him.

“I-” you pause. It’s been something you’ve been wanting to confess for so long but you can’t seem to get the words out. The words seem so insignificant compared to your feelings for Jaeyun. The love you hold for the boy could never be accumulated by mere words, but you say them, “I love you too, Jaeyun.” That soul confession you’ve been wanting to say. His eyes finally meet yours as he cups your cheek. His hand felt like the sun on your skin.

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Really.” You let out a breath before suddenly, as quick as your heart was beating, his lips were on yours, moving softly, just like always. You needed more than this, your body was aching for him in ways you didn’t even know. You grabbed at his t-shirt desperately as you tried to connect your bodies as close as you could, your chest pushing against his as your hips raised from the bed, “I love you so much.”

That was enough for him to push your left shoulder onto the mattress as he hovered over you, his lips never leaving yours. You felt his lips getting needy, his grip on your waist and the hand that was once on your shoulder is now creeping lightly around your neck, his thumb brushing the area where your voice box is situated and making it harder for you to speak, not that you could speak.. Usually, if you got to this stage of desperation he would stop himself but you could tell he wasn’t registering his actions, too deep in the lust and love of it all.

“Jaeyun, baby,” you moaned lightly to grab his attention but he simply kissed down your neck to your collarbone, “Jaeyun please.” He pulled away and his eyes were wild, drunk on you.

“Sorry.” he states, “I got carried away.” Jaeyun goes to move back but you find yourself holding him by his t-shirt.

“Don’t apologise. I want this.” You look at his eyes as they flicker from one emotion to another. His eyes once sorry are now pleading you to repeat what he thinks he has just heard. Your hands hold his face and bring him closer as you feel his breath on your lips, “I need you. I want this.” 

That was all it took before he was kissing you, his hands now both enveloping your waist. His lips were so soft against yours, the small whines he was making as he kissed you making your head spin. You needed him, more than you did at the outdoor movie, more than any other time you made out with him. It was another level. 

His mouth traveled down your body, not removing any clothes but pushing your t-shirt up to kiss your belly right down to where your shorts met your hips. Your hips bucked to let him know he could take your shorts off and yet he doesn’t. Not yet. He kisses along the line of your lower abdomen, his hands run up and down your calves slowly. He’s teasing you and he knows it.

“Jaeyun please don’t” you whine as he looks up at you, eyes half covered by his lashes.

“Don’t what, baby?” He kisses just under your belly button and trails down, “Don’t touch you here?” His fingers press lightly on your slit and your hips buck upwards. Jaeyun grins and places a single finger slowly on your clit, “or here?” That was enough for you to let out a moan you didn’t know you were holding in. He smiles, rubbing your sensitive spot over your shorts, “So responsive, baby.”

You had never seen him like this. This Jaeyun was new to you, to both of you. He knew exactly what he was doing despite never having touched anyone like this before.

What you didn’t know was that he had asked his friend Heeseung for advice only a day prior.

“Have any of you ever eaten a girl out before?” Jaeyun asked coyly as his friends sniggered. Only Heeseung didn’t, he was the only one who knew how Jaeyun felt about these things, how insecure he was that he had never done anything like this.

“It’s all about listening and responding.” Heeseung states, “You gotta try it out and read the room, y’know? If you do something and she moans, do it again.” Heesung was only a year older and yet he knew exactly what he was talking about, “If she likes it, do it again, if she doesn’t, do something else. You need to learn about each others’ bodies.” Jaeyun looked at Heeseung as if he were a master of the female body. 

“How do i do it right though? You always see those tiktoks about girls blasting guys for not being able to get them off,” Jaeyun pauses, “what if I can’t?”

“You will just listen to her, Jake. Let her control the situation without her even knowing she is.”

And that’s what Jaeyun was doing right now. He was listening to your moans as he rubbed your clit. He heard your whine as he pulled his fingers away, eagerly pulling down your pyjama shorts. 

As he looked at your naked core he could only moan to himself, desperate to bury his face in but he needed to know that this is what you wanted. “Can I?” The words sent you over the edge, you lifted your hips as an invitation but he had to hear you say it, “Use your words, baby.”

“Please, Jaeyun.” You whimpered breathlessly, “I need you to make me feel good.”

And that was enough for him. Enough for him to dive his tongue between your folds, enough for him to circle your clit with his tongue, enough for him to moan at your taste. Everything in this moment was enough. His tongue was searching for every part of you that felt pleasure, and he hit every spot.

“Jae…oh my god,” you gasped and grabbed his hair as you pushed his face further into you, “Baby don’t stop.” Jaeyun took that as a sign to keep eating you like his life depended on it. He was so glad Heeseung had sent him videos to show him how to pleasure a woman. He’s glad he could please you. He moans at the sight of you being greedy for more because of him.

“Baby,” he whispers, his lips over your clit, “can I?” He traces his middle finger over your entrance as he waits for the response. You don’t know how you managed to huff out a “Do it” but you do, and Jaeyun takes no longer than a second to shove his forefinger into you.

“Fuck baby you’re gonna be so tight around me.” He moans as he thrusts his finger into you. You were scared to use anything other than your fingers to please yourself yet his felt so different, your walls felt so small suddenly. Your body clenches around him and he smiles, lips around your clit before circling his tongue. “More.” you moan out which makes Jaeyun add another finger. His nose is nudging your clit more and more, his breath heavy as he pushes in another finger. He knows you’re close and yet you don’t even register it. He knows you better than you do. “Are you gonna come, Princess?”

Princess

It was new, yet you nearly came at the nickname. “So close” you admit as he continues at your pussy. Jaeyun was drinking you like it was his last drop of water out in the desert and that was enough for you to come undone. His fingers never slowed down, his tongue still lapping up everything you gave him. You were panting, hands still in his hair. You felt so succumbed to him that you could do nothing but stare at him, his wet lips stained by your pleasure looking right back at you, “You okay?” He asks almost innocently.

“I’m fantastic” you huff and he chuckles as he lays a soft kiss to your clit. The action makes you shudder, “Jaeyun…” you breathe. Jaeyun looks up at you, slowly climbing until his face reaches yours.

“What is it, love?” Right there, that is the moment you knew you could never be anyone else. The overwhelming emotions took over your body as you pulled to kiss him with fevour like never before. Your hands tangled in his messy brown hair, your eyes rolling as you kiss him, “Jaeyun, I need you so bad.” 

He stares at you, almost in disbelief at your words, “Are you sure baby?” His eyes are pleading for you to say yes and to be honest, you’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. 

“I’m so sure, Jaeyun,” you whisper. Your hand slowly makes its way down to his cock, your hand slipping under his sweatpants as you stroke him gently, “Let me have every bit of you.” You slowly pump his cock as he groans and his head falls back.

“Baby stop before I-” he stops your hand, “I’ll come if you keep doing that, at least let me come inside you.” Jaeyun’s eyes were pleading, desperate.

“Jaeyun-” you whine. He moves away discarding his sweatpants and boxers. Your eyes fall onto his cock. It stood flat against his stomach, pink and oh-so-pretty. You weren’t an expert but you could see it was at least 7”, his girth thick, a standout vein ran along the bottom of his shaft to the tip. Licking your lips you sit on your knees, waiting for him to do something. 

Oh fuck Jaeyun thinks to himself as he sees you, feet tucked under your ass, eyes glued to his cock. The strap of your pyjama has fallen down and left your right tit peaking out. His cheeks flush at this innocent yet filthy sight of you. 

Jaeyun starts taking his t-shirt off before leaning down to capture your lips with his. Its hard to tell whose lips are whose when they’re tangled into each other like this. Falling back onto the bed he is hovered over you as his lips never leave yours with the exception of him taking off your tank top. 

His hand finds its way back to your folds making you shiver and moan. The pleasure was too unbearable. “Are you ready for me baby or should I open you up some more?” His question was meant to be innocent - he really did want you to be ready for him, but you were so aroused that it was the most filthy thing to leave his mouth so far. The pleasure was so much that you couldn’t find the words to tell him to put on a condom, but you knew he had to, “Condom,” you point, “Second drawer.” 

He laughs, “Did you expect this to happen or something?”

Shaking your head and chuckling you reply, “Got them at the doctor's office when I was there. You know I can’t pass up anything free.” He laughs even louder as he puts his forehead to yours.

One small kiss and he reaches over to the drawer to pull out a condom but he stops suddenly, “Baby?” You prop yourself on your elbows to see what has caught his attention and your face flashes a crimson red. Jaeyun pulls out a small vibrator and smirks at you, “Is this my competition?” His eyebrows raise and a smile etches onto his face.

Playfully you hit his chest as you both laugh. Jaeyun leans into you again as he disregards the toy. “I’ll make sure you never need that again, baby. Only I get to make you come from now on, yeah?” He says as his lips brush against your own and you whine. You whine at how you don’t doubt for a second he’s the only person or thing you’re coming forever again. “You ready for this? We can stop whenever you want okay?” His voice is but a whisper.

“I’m ready.”

Jaeyun grabs his cock and drags it between your folds before he taps his head on your clit. “Fuck, Jaeyun, need you.” That familiar wetness from earlier is soaking your sheets and his cock all at the same time. He doesn’t stop teasing you, partly because he loves the way you’re wriggling and gasping under him but also to get you wet enough for him. Heeseung had also said it’s important to make sure you’re relaxed and wet enough that it would hurt less - he sent him videos on that too.

His tip is at your entrance once Jaeyun is convinced you’re ready to take all of him. “Breathe out for me baby, and if it hurts too much tell me.” His eyes never leave yours as you nod, “Okay.”

Jaeyun pushes his tip in as your hands find his shoulders and claw at them and he stops, “Princess, you okay?” He puts aside his own pleasure for your comfort. You nod but he doesn’t move as he waits for you to say something.

“I’m okay, Jaeyun. Give me a minute?” He nods and kisses you, as he leans forward his cock pushes more into you as you wince, “Shit, love I’m sorry.” Love. Jaeyun was bringing out every pet name he could muster and you couldn’t get enough of it. You kiss him to let him know it’s okay. The pain wasn’t as bad as you thought but that didn’t mean it wasn’t uncomfortable. You let him sit there for a minute. 

“I’m good, you can go.” And he does, ever so slowly. This was new for both of you and you loved that you were each other's firsts. It wasn’t awkward or tense, it was everything you needed it to be. 

“Baby you feel so good.” Jaeyun whined as he bottomed out, his eyes scrunched tight, “I can’t believe you’re real.” he whispered to himself. 

Grabbing his face with both your hands you stare at him being absolutely lost in euphoria. You are doing this to him and it's making you feel suddenly so powerful. This newfound confidence is making your head spin, your hips lift to meet his as you speed up the pace and Jaeyun’s eyes land wildly on yours. “Princess…fuck” he gasps as you clench suddenly around him. He wasn’t the only one to get some tips from other people, albeit your was from a TikTok you watched.

“Is it good, baby?” you whisper in his ear, and just like that, he’s spilling into the condom as his hips still. If you could tattoo one moment into your brain for the rest of your life it would be this; Jaeyun coming undone, his jaw slacking as he breathes heavily, his chest heaving up and down, sweat on his forehead. Your heart was warming at the very sight like you were watching the sunset. 

Jaeyun’s arms grow weak and start shaking as he tries to hold himself up. “I’m sorry.” He shyly says as he reaches for your face, “I didn’t mean to do that so quickly.” His face turns crimson red from embarrassment but you just laugh as you wipe the sweat from his forehead.

“Jaeyun it’s okay, it was everything I could have asked for.” You smile softly at him as he shakes his head. 

“No, I should have made you finish.” His eyes burn with determination and you have no idea what he is thinking. 

“Bab-” one quick thrust from him was enough to stop your question in its tracks. The pleasure spreads through your body but you muster up the energy to say, “Jaeyun you don’t have to, oh god.” He quickens with vigor like never before, his hand coming down to rub your clit.

“Princess I promised I’d make you feel good, yeah?” He breathily says, his concentration on his movements rather than his words, “I’m gonna make you come again even if it's the last thing i do.” One thing you loved about Jaeyun is that when he put his mind to something, he made sure to see it through. And if that meant having your come around his cock, that's exactly what he was going to do. 

You were trying to keep quiet and not alert your parents down the hall but that was a task easier said than done, you were moaning so loud that Jaeyun kissed you to muffle you.

“Baby you gotta be quiet,” he smirked as he thrust extra hard making you let out a long groaned moan, “I know I’m good baby, but try.” You were so overwhelmed with pleasure you couldn’t even roll your eyes at his cocky remarks. Instead, you fuelled his ego more, clenching around him and moaning into his shoulder.

“Jaeyun..I’m so-”

“I know, princess, I can feel you.” He whispers as he kisses your neck, “Need you to come all over me, yeah?” you swear he has been smirking for the past 10 minutes, “you love my cock, yeah?” 

“I love you.” Sincerity laced within your moan. Jaeyun’s eyes soften and his smirk falls into a pout of adoration. He loves you so much, everything he does from now on will always be for you. You’re his everything.

“God I love you too, princess.” He kisses you as his hips go faster. He doesn’t tell you he’s getting overstimulated because seeing you in pure bliss like this is enough for him to forget his own discomfort for your pleasure. 

“Fuck, Jaeyun, right there baby please.” You moan and he continues, he loves how vocal you are. 

“Baby, come for me.” He rubs a thumb over your cheek as tears well in your eyes, “Just for me, give me it all.” He whispers before he pecks your forehead.

You have never felt anything quite like this. All the mixed emotions of ecstasy, love, adrenaline, and joy wash over you as you practically scream his name followed by a bunch of profanities. Jaeyun is quick to kiss you to keep you quiet but that just makes you moan loader, orgasm seeming never-ending.

First times in novels and movies are depicted as these beautiful, hard-to-compete-with moments but now they all seem so dishonest and lacking compared to what you’ve just experienced. You wouldn’t trade this moment for the world, you wouldn’t trade Jaeyun for anything.

Coming back down you open your eyes to see Jaeyun smiling at you and stroking your hair, “Princess you did so well. I’m so proud of you. I wasn’t too much was I?” genuine concern etched on his face.

“Never. I’m so in love with you.” you giggle and kiss him.

“Babe I will come again if you say that.” He laughs before pulling out. The empty feeling that was once the norm now feels out of place. You don’t know how you ever lived before him, not being full of him. 

Jaeyun hisses as he takes the condom off and walks to the bin. You take the chance to look at him naked once. Thats all mine you think to yourself and smile lazily. As Jaeyun turns around he catches your smile and tilts his head, “Y/N? What are you smiling at?” 

“You,” you start, “just smiling at the fact you’re mine.” Suddenly shy you cover your face with your arm and giggle. He strides over and hovers over you again removing your arm so he can see your face.

“Always. I’m always gonna be yours.”

You cuddled as the sun rose.

i think about this every now and then, when i see other street racer fics 😩 the palpable tension is insanely good 🙌🏼

slide thru - l.hc | ridin’ club

━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series

genre ➠ slow burn, ya dis one actually has some plot, smut, fluff? wordcount ➠ 9.3k details ➠  fem!reader, streetracer!haechan, badboy!haechan, college!au ━ where you and haechan are best friends with very heavy sexual tension. warnings ➠ explicit language, flirty banter, name calling, hickeys, bratty af, hair pulling, oral (deep throat), brief moment of public sex, a lot of teasing, possessiveness, switch!haechan, slight degradation kink, spanking synopsis ➠ Lee Donghyuck, goes by Lee Haechan, is your literal ride or die. From high school to college, you two are best friends for the long run. While your relationship has always been platonic, there is something about the wind in his brown locks and the thrills drawing donuts in an empty parking lot that causes butterflies to jump down below. Have you always been attracted to him or did he finally grow up to be your type? taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi​​ ; @darkneogotmyback​​ ; @im-lame-irl​​ ; @p-mini​​ ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck​​ ; @saniahmichael​​ ; @jaehy9ngs​​ ; @danyxthirstae01​​ ; @jaehyunoos​​ ; @pikijaemin​​ ; @suhweo​​ ; @dearlyminhyung​​ ; @yunoyeol​​ ; @lanadreamie​​ ; @ta3ilmoon​​ ; @legendnct​​

a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! THIS ONE IS FLITHY YALL i need to cleanse my soul after writing this omgg !! also heres my attempt at writing dirty talk yikes yall already know, feedback is highly appreciated esp after getting so much attention for this series (which i am more than grateful for and happy about), i do hope people can leave me something motivating! i am struggling to finish these long fics lmao

Stupid Lee fucking Haechan. Haechan pulls up sheepishly and rolls down the passenger window to reveal your crossed arm stance and very agitated expression. “Look who finally decided to show up.”

Keep reading

this writer has me hooked on all her changmin characters 😭 its not good for my heart 😭

𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤

motorcycle racer!ji changmin x gn!reader

1.4k words, flirting, changmin is wearing a leather jacket and aviators and dog tags (swoons), he calls u sweetheart ofc

a/n: at this point, i might as well just keep on going — btw, i recommend reading "rush" before this so the plot is put into context, but if u don't that's cool too

You had never seen Ji Changmin in the daylight before. 

You had been summoned down to the front of your apartment complex by his text message, informing you that your car was waiting outside. Instead of seeing only your beloved, hand-me-down sedan, you found yourself gazing upon the very thing mentioned beforehand: Ji Changmin, in all his glory. 

He was leaning up against the side of your car with his hands tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket, a garment riddled with pretty patches of art and emblems you'd like to take a closer look at. His dark hair was swept back slightly, just enough to be out of his face. He wore a pair of dark aviators over his eyes, and your keen eyes caught the dog tags hanging from the chain around his neck. 

He grinned at the sight of you, his tongue caught between his teeth. The dimples were throwing you off immensely. 

"Well?" He said in greeting, throwing his arms out open wide in a vague gesture. "Told you, you could trust me."

You made your way down the stairs toward him and your sandaled feet slapped against the concrete. You laughed under your breath, a little disbelieving. "I have to admit: I didn't think you could drive cars, Ji."

Changmin's mouth pressed into a smile then, taking a step toward you until the two of you stood face to face on the sidewalk. "Just one of my many charms, sweetheart."

You braided your arms over your chest. "Well, uh, for what it's worth—thanks for bringing my car back safe and sound." You made a show of peering around him at the vehicle. "At least, I hope it's all sound."

He snorted. "You're talking to the city's resident mechanic, Yn. It's as sound as sound can be."

"Ah, so you're a mechanic now?"

"I always have been." He leaned forward slightly, and you saw his eyes over the rim of his glasses, just as his tongue swiped over his bottom lip. "If you want, we can take it out for a spin and maybe you can learn a few more of my many talents."

You tilted your head to the side. Your thundering heart was making it difficult to think, or maybe that was just Changmin. This man was definitely keeping you on your toes. "I think some things are better left to the imagination."

Even with the aviators, you saw surprise flash over his features, and satisfaction purred in your chest. It felt good to elicit that kind of reaction from him. 

You shifted your gaze to movement in your periphery to watch as one of your neighbors pulled into the lot down the block. The thought suddenly occurred to you that if Changmin had your car dropped off here, he might not actually have a way back to wherever his residence was, unless the walk wasn't far. 

Maybe you were about to take your car out for a spin after all. 

You sighed, facing Changmin again. He was still waiting for you. "Let me grab my wallet," you exhaled, already turning on your heel to head into the complex. 

His laugh followed you all the way in. 

You had to adjust the driver's seat when you got into your car. Changmin was already settled in the passenger side, seat belt strapped over his chest and aviators propped up on his head. The keys were left dangling in the ignition for you, and he had even gone so far as to roll down his window and let the radio start playing. 

"You've made yourself at home," you noted as you sat up straight and quickly checked your mirrors. 

You stole a glance over at him at the same time as he did for you. 

He looked like he had too much room over there with his legs spread like that. "It's not every day that I get chauffeured. Usually it's the other way 'round. Pull out onto the main street and make a left," he instructed. 

"Yes, sir," you muttered under your breath as you followed his words, glancing over your shoulder as you turned out of the neighborhood and onto the bustling main intersection. 

Changmin tongued his cheek to keep from smiling. 

As you sped along the main road with the rest of traffic, you said, "For some reason, you feel very nocturnal to me."

He chuckled. "Why? Because races are at night?"

You lifted a shoulder half-heartedly. "I mean, yeah. I haven't seen you or associated you in any other context besides that. And maybe as Chanhee's weird friend—"

Changmin shot you a look. "I'm the weird one? Have you seen that man play Cool Math Games when he's bored?"

You guffawed aloud, and Changmin's mouth widened into a grin at the sound. "Do I keep going straight, or where do I turn?"

"Oh, keep going for two more intersections and then make a right into the first alleyway." He peered out his window for a second to watch the pedestrians and other cars on his side. "Again, not really sure what gave you the impression that I'm the weird one."

The smile on your face just wouldn't go away. But this time, you didn't have Changmin's helmet to hide it. 

You heeded Changmin's instructions and followed the road past two more intersections, then signaled to turn into the first alleyway. The alley led you into the back parking lot of what you assumed connected to the street of shops facing the main road. Changmin pointed toward an opened garage door like the yawning jaws of a cavern just down the block, and you carefully swung your car into park along the curb across from it. 

Changmin unbuckled his seatbelt and popped his door open. "My bike's inside," he said, as if interpreting your silent gaze toward the open garage door as a question. You could see all the equipment inside, as well as his motorcycle amongst the chaos. It seemed that he wasn't kidding about being a mechanic.

Your eyes darted upward at the second level above the garage. "Do you live here?" You blurted. "Sorry that was nosy—"

He shook his head, his hand propped on top of the car door where he stood just outside the car. "It's all good. Yeah, I live up there. It was just convenient and I couldn't exactly pass up the chance for a two-in-one rent," he chuckled. 

You nodded. There were thoughts running through your head, and yet, none of the words felt right on your tongue. 

Changmin pursed his lips into a dimpled smile, saluting you again. "Thanks for the ride back, Yn."

"Thanks for getting my car back," you replied. 

The car door slammed shut, and you slumped in your seat, waiting for him to round your car and head into his residence. 

Except, he rounded the car, then knocked on your window instead. 

You furrowed your brows, jamming your thumb on the button to lower the window all the way down. "Something up?"

He broke into an impish smile. "I forgot to give you this." He shouldered off the leather jacket on his shoulders, exposing the muscular build of his upper arms constrained in the navy blue T-shirt he wore. Your eyes widened as he folded the jacket in half, rolled it in a neat bundle, then passed it to you through the open window. You stared down at it like he had just placed a bomb in your lap. 

He snickered at your reaction, leaning his forearms above his head on the top of the car as he ducked his head in your window. "They see that, they'll let you in for free," he said, nodding to the jacket. 

You raised your head to meet his eyes. "They know it's yours?"

Changmin hummed, teeth capturing his bottom lip. "Mhm."

Oh. "They're gonna assume things."

"Like what?"

You deadpanned at him, and swore your heart tripped at the boyish smile on his face. He knew exactly what you were trying to get at. "They're gonna assume that we're an item."

Changmin shrugged his shoulders. "So? What does it matter what they think or assume? We know the truth."

"The truth?" You echoed. "You can't just tell them to let me in when I show my ID or something?"

Instead of addressing your logical suggestion, he simply said, "It's none of their business who you are to me." 

You blinked; his expression was unfaltering. You didn't know what game he was playing, but you had to remind yourself that you were only in this city for a short time, not a long one. (Then again, maybe that was more reason to live your life out like you had never gotten to before.) "And who am I to you?"

Changmin straightened, pushing off the car. He began walking backward toward his garage, putting distance between himself and his jacket. There was that cocky, smug smile again. "Whoever you wanna be, sweetheart."

a/n: i *really* need to make up for the lack of jacob fics now :/ (sorry cobie close ur eyes !! u don't see ANYTHING)

tbz m.list

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @y3jiishot @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @mingiholic @ja4hyvn @ethereal-engene @justalildumpling @vatterie @yogurteume