Luvlorn - CLOSED. - Tumblr Blog
AYO!? @luvlorn moots for a year!?!?!?
love you bunches bestie
Happy b-day,luv!
thank u angel!! <3
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!! Love you so much and miss you tons Kate<3<3<3
thank u mushroom!! i miss you too <3
hap birth luv đŠâ¤â¤
thank u angel! i hope youâve been well <3
Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day <3 you deserve it :)
thank you!! <3
hi i miss writing
so proud of u arielle, u deserve this more than you know!! <3
literally WHATTT đ THANK YOU FOR 800 FOLLOWS????
i will be honest with all of you, i had a very rough time with my mental health for the past three months and haven't been enjoying my writing capabilities until recently since everything around me seems to be at a bit of a standstill for now and there's a sort of peace going on.
all those pushed deadlines were not only for the sake of school but also for my mental health so thank you to any of you who decided to keep following me even when i went radio silent for the longest time ever.
i'll still be writing and have been writing, just not in public view and still have so much planned when i get the chance and energy to post.
i'm gonna be tagging mutuals who have either been motivations for my writing, had made put a smile to my face when i was at my lowest, or were just there and present with me when i didn't need to ask:
@redhoodsoot @genesisrose74 @blueboopbop @disgustingtoast @mcytmushroom @cherios @luvlorn @inniterhq @earthtooz @nettherite @mikeyinnit @mitzimania @strawberrymilkgeorge
why is this so accurate? am i unintentionally a gnf kinnie PLS
cast your mutuals as dsmp ccs :]
oof wow okay it's been a while since i've been into dsmp cc stuff but i'll try my best
@disgustingtoast -> punz, because they remind me of me but built different. i always get associated with sapnap and punz and sapnap tend to be seen as two sides of the same coin.
@blueboopbop -> hmmm kind of tough but i think blue is capable of showing any aspect of the bench trio cc's in my opinion. all three are chaotic in their own right and all three are also funny. i believe blue is everything like that.
@redhoodsoot -> wilbur soot, no dount. with everything i've spoken with for char, private and public, i reall do believe them and wilbur soot kin jason todd and for that reason alone i believe they're similar for that reason.
@genesisrose74 -> tina! so sweet! so lovely! gives the "they'd ask if you're okay once we meet and then maybe hug you" kind of vibe so i'm happy to associate tina to gen ; - ;
@luvlorn -> i think george honestly đ like kait isn't always here but she's here if that makes sense. i always wonder how she's doing and how she's been but wouldn't wanna disturb her peace the way everyone does with gnf.
@mcytmushroom -> dream. if y'all have heard this motherfucker talk đ verbally, i honestly believe shroom is like dream because they talk a mile a minute when they're excited the way dream does on stream.
@mitzimania -> boomer. chaotic, unpredictable... odd? but in a good way! mitzi's the type to just randomly drop/say things out of context but makes you laugh right after at the absurdity like boomer does to his friends and subs.
@inniterhq -> techno. no clue why, i just think of techno once i'm on artemis's page. also, it just seems like their page is a landmine filled with a variety of asks, anons, and mutuals, which kind of gives an homage to techno and his variety of friends and followers.
@mikeyinnit -> karl. lovely people should be associated with each other. mikey is so sweet and very supportive. i've repeated it multiple times but please follow mikeys streams, i can never make it to most of them but usually they're chill streams!
@nettherite -> callahan. i know callahan isn't exactly a cc, but he's present enough in the dsmp to cause a big impact and i believe sarah exhibits that kind of energy perfectly. quiet but unhinged, i love it.
@cherios -> nihachu! comfy energy whenever i go to cher's page and honestly all around one of the nicest moots i've met :) hopefully we speak more when possible and i can be able to watch their streams more because i loved being there and watching cher's chaos unfold.
if anyone has any ideas for a sapnap hs au send them my way iâm plotting đ
thank you so much! and of course, i'll call you luv from now on! :)
:)) <3
also shoutout arielle for giving me the nickname to go by i love it
hi, luv! i just binge-read your mcyt fics and omg your writing is amazing! the way your fics actually made me feel all the wonderful emotions is just marvelous. you're an incredibly talented writer, luv! <3
omg anon ily ?? u just made me smile sm thank u!
also about ur other asks, ur fine !! i donât rlly care HAHA if u know me as kait u can call me kait i just changed to luv for privacy reasons and would rather people i donât know call me that :)
the way i tear up everytime someone brings up under the bleachers or all star?? those fics r my absolute pride and joy and iâm so glad everyone enjoys them so much - perhaps itâs time i get out another sapnap hs au for u all ;)
omg im so glad you liked the sapnap fics!! ur reblogs made me smile so much thank you :))
RECOMMENDED FICS | crewboys x reader
this masterlist will be slow as fuck because school is getting harder to manage but i will try my best to support these wonderful writers.
but also, these are just crewboys fics that ive read and personally enjoyed, meaning i havenât read every fic out there in existence (i have a terrible attention span sjdhsh), just ones within my tumblrâs orbit. suggest some if u want to!
last updated: 2/22/2022. ongoing.
â︰ďźăťDREAMWASTAKEN
a night under the stars: college!cc!dream by @daninotfound
imagine. i absolutely adore how dani incorporates sbi/benchtrio with dreamteam fics :( its so wholesome. plus, daniâs writing? is god-tier? this entire fic made me want to bury my phone. suffocate it. so that it didnât have to see my flustered face because omg the tension is unbearably wonderful
one, two, three: c!dream by @artgotbored
hcs. iâm pretty sure this fic, like, broke me in the best way. i donât even have words to say because art took it all out from me. i hate this trope because of how easy it gets me to break me and art got all of it right this feels like the cover of a lorde album. does that make sense.
how the mighty fall: hero!dream by dani
series. this series owns me. thatâs all i need to say to convince you. i promise you that youâll be HOOKED. no refunds.
â︰ďźăť GEORGE
the walk to truth: c!george by @blog-on-a-log
imagine. this :( this broke me :( the emotions in this fic is so raw and heartbreaking it made me want to just throw my laptop across the room + the plot is soooo good youâve captured it perfectly (why is it all angst tho tf) go read this if you want your heart broken.
and they were roommates: cc!george by @allywritesforfun
imagine. i love love their dynamic :( so sweet and everything i wanted from a roommate fic <3 ally bless your heart youâre the best. heâs so cute here he has my heart please ajbfd their back and forth banter means everything to me yes.
â︰ďźăť SAPNAP
under the bleachers: hs!sapnap by @luvlorn
imagine. this is so adorable and beautifully written bye im in love with this au and this plot <3 tbh sapnap is an ass in this but its ok i still love him and this fic ?!? please this chewed on my heart spat it out then cradled it idk what to feel just read this.
flirt: cc!sapnap by luv
imagine. this writerâs fics are FANTASTIC! stop why do you write sapnap so kaghgfshds im in love help me. i dont even have words just read this fucking fic right now.
â︰ďźăť QUACKITY
raise the bet: c!quackity by @iwantblacktea
imagine. kianâs writing makes me want to scream into a pillow; this fic made me want to scream on top of a building. this fic captured all the reasons why iâm so obsessed with las nevadas!quackity you donât understand literally such a fav sdjkhsd the tension is so AH
â°ď¸°ďźăťKARL JACOBS
confessions: karl jacobs by ally
imagine. this. this is everything. this is so cute. stop he did all that?? for reader?? bye. incredible. amazing. show-stopping. cavities-inducing. the end :(( allyâs writing is sooo cute it made me want to punch my wall! boost of serotonin
reincarnated!reader: c!karl by @dreamwvrld
hcs. tbh your hcs are always top-tier hsagfdf please i just think that the plot of this hcs is so incredibly heartbreaking and so well-written. the âhe falls in love all over again every timeâ is the best trope imo its just so sad that its so GOOD
What is your recent George fic?
a harry potter au!!
requests
i'm cleaning out my inbox, and deleting everything (save for one i've already started), everything in there is from june 2021 and i imagine most people who have sent them aren't interested anymore anyways.
so with that being said, i'm opening requests again! i will be taking any for harry potter, maze runner, or dream smp - and maybe narnia if there's any interest!
click here for my request rules + to see who i'll write for!
click here for my ask box!
thank you for hosting such a fun event! it was great to see the community come together to make this happen :)
Hi everyone! I just wanted to say thanks so much for joining this celebration, I canât even put into words how happy and excited I am to have so many incredible writers and friends come together to take part in such a meaningful event.
For all my new friends and readers out there - this event was geared toward reviving the Harry Potter community and bringing tumblr back to what it once used to be. To do this, we as writers have created an enormous amount of new fics and content for you to enjoy!
The only thing we ask in return is that you engage and interact with our fics as much as you can. The fluff and angst content on this app is seriously lacking, and weâre here to change that! If more angst and fluff content sounds like something you would enjoy, or you would like to see more of the types of fics I have scheduled down below, let us know by reblogging/liking/commenting on our posts!
For more information, be sure to check out this link :)
Rules for my writers:
Reblog this post - I need to know that youâve seen the schedule and this helps spread the word to your followers!
Use the tag âHarry Potter Writing Eventâ on each of your fics
Interact as much as you can with everyone elseâs fics
DO NOT CROSS TAG - I spent a long time putting this schedule together to make it fair for everyone and to prevent too much flooding. If I find your sirius fic in the draco tag or your draco fic in the ron tag it will throw everything off and I am going to be upset
Now, down below you will be able to find a compiled schedule of fics from your favourite writers that you can expect to read over the next coming week! Feel free to check them all out and show your authors some love đ¤đ¤
Schedule:
Monday January 3rd
DRACO MALFOY + OTHER SLYTHERINS
⢠T.N. - What About Me (angst) | @ronweasleysslut
⢠D.M. - Fast Track To Fame (fluff) | @hopelessbutterfly
⢠D.M. - Tick Tick (angst/fluff) | @anordinarymuse
⢠D.M. - Walls and Veils Part 1 (fluff) | @littlemissnoname13
⢠D.M. - You are so Lovely to be Around (fluff) | @elysian-bxg
⢠D.M. - My Girl, My Love (fluff) | @mellifluousart
⢠D.M. - Point Of View (fluff) | @fuckingjimin
⢠D.M. - Who Could Have Guessed? (angst/fluff) | @comfortscripts
⢠D.M. - Brawl Over Hallucinogens Part 1 (angst/fluff) @lilyrachelcassidy
Tuesday January 4th
MARAUDERS
⢠S.B. - The Devil of The Seas Prologue (fluff) | @shaynawrites23
⢠R.L./S.B. X READER - Ms. Grumpy (fluff) | @ameliasbitvh
⢠R.L. - Pomegranates (fluff) | @scandalous-chaos
⢠R.L. - Brownies (fluff) @anordinarymuse
⢠R.L. - A Much Needed Break (fluff) | @comfortscripts
Wednesday January 5th
WEASLEYS
⢠R.W. - Pushing You Closer (angst) | @ronweasleysslut
⢠R.W. - Kiss Her You Fool! (fluff) | @weasleyapologist
⢠F.W. - Untitled (?) | @kpostedsum
⢠G.W. - Promise a Future (fluff) | @cassiopeia-black-brenda
⢠R.B. - Summer (fluff) | @anordinarymuse
⢠F.W. - Good Reviews and Spilled Potions (angst/fluff) | @saintlike78
Thursday January 6th
DRACO MALFOY + OTHER SLYTHERINS
⢠T.R. - Yours Truly (angst) | @anordinarymuse
⢠T.N. - Our Secrets Are Buried Shallow (fluff) | @acosmis-t
⢠D.M. - Words of Affirmation (fluff) | @magicchai
⢠D.M. - Quality Time (fluff) | @dracosathenaeum
⢠D.M. - The Ilvermorny Exchange Part 8 (fluff) | @war-sword
⢠D.M. - Across The Pond (angst/fluff) | @drawlfoy
⢠D.M. - Untitled (angst/fluff) | @eltanin-malfoy
⢠D.M. - Untitled (angst) | @elysian-bxg
⢠D.M. - Lazy Weekends (fluff) | @darkgreenqueen
⢠D.M. - Steps and Gloves (fluff) | @writeandtranslate
Friday January 7th
OTHER SHIPS + EXTRA FICS
⢠C.D. - Stay Put (fluff) | @ronweasleysslut
⢠D.M. x H.G. - Preacherman (angst) | @leydileyla
⢠R.B. - Liar (angst) | @anordinarymuse
⢠F.W. - Not a Dream Without You (fluff) | @comfortscripts
⢠R.W. - Quidditch Field (fluff) | @weasleyapologist
Saturday January 8th
MARAUDERS
⢠S.B. - Portrait (fluff) | @anordinarymuse
⢠S.B. - Bit of Help Would Be Nice (fluff) | @comfortscripts
⢠R.L. - Hugs With Remus Lupin (fluff) | @shaynawrites23
⢠R.L. - I Love You So (fluff) | @saintlike78
⢠R.L. - Where or When (angst/fluff) | @ladyvesuvia
⢠R.B. - Tricks and Charms (fluff) - @scandalous-chaos
Sunday January 9th
DRACO MALFOY + OTHER SLYTHERINS
⢠T.R. - Poems (fluff) | @anordinarymuse
⢠D.M. - Phantom Love (fluff) | @hopelessbutterfly
⢠D.M. - A Lot Like Falling (fluff) | @draconisxcaput
⢠D.M. - Untitled (?) @kpostedsum
⢠D.M. - Walls and Veils Part 2 (fluff) | @littlemissnoname13
⢠D.M. - Untitled (fluff) | @elysian-bxg
⢠D.M. - Untitled (fluff) | @ameliasbitvh
⢠D.M. - Holding Hands (fluff) | @mellifluousart
⢠D.M. - The Past (angst) | @dr4cking
⢠D.M. - Untitled (angst) | @katmoonz
â˘D.M. - My Little Love (angst) | @papillon-mechant
⢠D.M. - Marked (angst) | @luvlorn
⢠D.M. - Brawl Over Hallucinogens Part 2 (angst/fluff) | @lilyrachelcassidy
Authorâs Note: As more fics get posted Iâll be sure to come back to this masterpost and copy the links in with the titles so your fics are more accessible! If any of your information is out of order or missing, please just reach out to me and Iâll be sure to fix it ASAP! There are a lot of people taking part in this event so if I made a mistake please donât yell at me :(
marked [d.m]
pairing: draco malfoy x reader
pronouns: none
synopsis: your worst nightmare comes to pass in the shape of a skull with a snake protruding from its lips burned onto your skin. luckily, you're not facing this alone.
wc: 4.3k
a/n: for the harry potter event, some draco angst for u all. it's been so long since i've written for the harry potter fandom, and i've missed this <3
a groan escaped your cracked, dry lips as you were ripped from your slumber, taking immediate notice of the soreness. you were harbouring a pounding headache and a noticeable sore throat, on top of the dull ache that ran through the rest of your body. you peeled your eyes open, squinting in an attempt to adjust to the blinding morning light streaming into the room.
as your eyesight adapted to the uncomfortable light in which you bathed, an unsettling feeling washed over you as you pondered a single thought - your room was usually far darker than this, as your bedroom window was always covered in curtains, and even when it wasnât, the sunlight never could quite reached the frame of your bed.
panic shot through you and you searched around in a frantic haze, frowning as you recognized the familiar silk duvet. trailing your gaze across the room, you breathed a sigh of relief at the familiarity, calming yourself momentarily.
along with that recognition, however, came a followup question; you and draco hadnât spoken in weeks.
everything had been fine between you, until one day, it wasnât. it was almost as though heâd dropped off of the planet. heâd ghosted you completely; canceling all of your plans, ignoring your owls, and when youâd tried to visit him, youâd been turned away at the door. the worst part was that you hadnât the slightest idea why.
but with that left the lingering question; how the hell had you managed to get into his bedroom?
youâd been so distracted in your own mind, youâd been hardly aware of the itch on your forearm. in a daze, you reached down to scratch it without thinking, and froze as your fingers made contact with the skin.
a searing pain flashed through your veins, climbing up your arm and sending a wave of burning heat through your entire already-sore body. you gasped out in shock, throwing the plush duvet off your frame in an attempt to numb the fiery feeling shooting through your body. in the process, youâd exposed your bare arm, breath getting caught in your throat as your eyes met with the black markings.
sitting there, etched permanently on your body, was the very thing youâd feared the most. a recurring nightmare from your youth, when youâd first discovered the nature of the design. nausea grew with every passing moment your eyes lingered on the sickening arrangement painted on your skin.
the dark mark.
your eyes followed the intricate swirls of the mark, taking it in completely. the artistry itself was beautiful, you couldnât deny.
it was the darkness it represented and the fate it tied you to that had you sick to your stomach.
the harsh raps of a knock echoed through the silent room, pulling your attention from the random novel you had been skimming through. standing, you moved to open the door, smiling politely as your father glared down at you.
âgood afternoon, father.â you addressed, and he scoffed, rolling his eyes. his gaze traveled up and down at your figure clad still in pyjamas despite the late hour, visibly disappointed at your disheveled appearance.
âyou will join us tonight, as the malfoys are hosting and have requested your presence. your mother will be by shortly to ensure you are presentable come time for dinner. i expect you to be on your best behaviour.â he instructed, and you nodded, stoically.
your smile threatened to grow at the prospect of seeing your boyfriend, but thankfully, youâd managed to keep your expression level. you were afraid that your invitation would be taken away at any sign of imperfectionism - it wouldnât be the first time.
âalright, thank you, father. i will patiently await motherâs arrival.â you replied obediently, and with another roll of his eyes, he stormed off without another word. you released the breath you hadnât realized youâd been holding, an excited buzz running through your body.
your presence had been requested by the malfoys. had that meant draco finally wanted to see you? for the first time in weeks, a genuine smile was apparent on your face, in place of the forced one youâd been adorning.
as heâd said, your mother appeared soon after, carrying in a new garment bag. she gently pulled out your nightâs wardrobe, and you gaped. the fabric was an enchanting forest green with silver accents, the colours of a true slytherin. perfectly fitting for someone like yourself. she assisted you into the attire, helping touch up your appearance - brushing through your tangled hair and hiding the bags under your eyes from the numerous days of sleep youâd been missing out on.
after draco had begun ignoring your owls and cancelling plans, youâd practically made yourself sick with worry. youâd spent hours going over the many possibilities, perhaps youâd upset him and hadnât realized. you ultimately came up blank, resorting to lost sleep as you replayed every recent conversation in a desperate hope to find the answer youâd been searching for.
you tried to delve yourself back into your book, but your mind was far elsewhere, unable to focus on the words printed on the page. if you had to guess, around an hour had passed (though arguably, it felt way longer) when your father had returned to fetch you for dinner.
that shouldâve been your first worry. your father never came to get you, heâd always send your mother, always leaving ahead of the pair of you to get started on the business they typically discussed at the malfoysâ manor. however, you didnât think anything of it; perhaps he simply was trying to be more efficient.
he offered you his arm, and you instantly entwined yours with his, allowing him to apparate the pair of you to the malfoy estate. your mother was soon to follow, quick to rush over and fix your hair after the warping of your apparition travel.
your fatherâs eyes flickered across your face and figure, nodding in approval. he straightened his posture, and you mimicked his actions, as you had hundreds of times before. his arm never left yours as he guided you to the front door, your mother trailing behind silently.
you noticed that you werenât being lectured on manners and etiquette, as you usually had been prior to these events. strange.
again, you mentally pushed the idea to the back of your mind, quick to blame the growing nerves building in your body as you pondered your conversation with draco.
you hardly noticed your father walking in unannounced, too wrapped in your thoughts to think anything of the informality of his entrance. he brought you straight to the dining hall, whosâ doors had been sealed. you sucked in a quiet breath, attempting to calm yourself.
everything would be fine once you saw draco.
your father knocked firmly, exactly three solid knocks against the large doors, alerting whoever had been inside of his presence. the hushed whispers that could hardly be heard ceased completely, and you could make out a blurred figure approaching the door.
the door was pulled opened slowly, a face of a wizard you didnât recognize looking down at you, menacingly. a crooked smile crawled up his face upon scanning yours, with your ever-famous polite smile resting on your lips, as he opened the door fully and gestured for the group of you to enter.
âthank you, dolohov.â your father spoke monotonously, nodding to his companion. âdolohovâ nodded back, the grin never leaving his lips. an unsettling feeling washed over you at his unwavering stare, but you brushed it off - youâd seen plenty of strange people who worked at the ministry of magic before. this was nothing out of the ordinary.
your father guided you to the head of the table, where a single empty seat rested. a seemingly endless row of wizards sat before you, every seat, save for a few, were filled as they completely lined the length of the extended table. youâd guess there were around thirty wizards seated in front of you, recognizing only a handful; lucius and narcissa among them.
your eyes moved past them, and a large smile threatened to escape as you noticed that next to them, sat draco. your spirits quickly diminished, however, as he refused to meet your gaze, instead opting to direct his sight to the table.
ây/n, please sit.â your father gestured to the seat at the tableâs head, and you glanced at him questioningly. you wished you hadnât, as his pointed look told you not to argue, and sent a shiver down your spine. you quietly sucked in a deep breath and sat with a small smile, watching as every eye in the room moved to stare at your shaking figure, which you desperately tried to conceal with your reputable posture. you wanted nothing more in that moment than to shrink and disappear, feeling severely intimidated by the crowd before you and extremely out of place.
your father and mother found two empty seats side-by-side, which happened to be across from lucius and narcissa. no words were spoken as the room settled, and you vaguely took notice that the seat across from you, at the other end, was also empty. you wondered who was to sit there, and why you were facing them - but you didnât dare ask.
your heart stopped as you heard the sound of the door behind you open, and you watched all the eyes that had been stuck on you shift to the new presence in the room. heads bowed down, and a sudden realization struck you, one that made your blood run cold.
this was no ordinary business dinner, far from it. this was something unspeakably worse.
everything in you was screaming, begging for you to run. you didnât know where youâd go, but you knew you needed to get out of there. you almost did it, you really did.
but then your eyes flickered to draco, his head tucked down and gaze firmly on the polished wood in front of him. with your many years spent by his side, you could read him like a book. you practically could feel the guilt radiating off his frame.
you felt pain. you felt betrayal first hand, and you could see it in his expression loud and clear; he knew what your real reason for being here was, he knew exactly what was about to happen to you. and he couldnât even look you in the eyes.
despite this, you knew you couldnât bring yourself to leave. not without him.
at the end of the day, draco held your heart, even if it was broken into hundreds of pieces; they all belonged to him, and him only. you would never willingly leave him. even if that meant ruining your life and dooming yourself to a cursed, insufferable fate.
you felt a looming figure lean over you, opting to keep your gaze forward, stoic. âah, y/n. how nice of you to join us.â his voice sent a chilling shiver down your spine, and you forced yourself to stay strong. his icy touch grazed your skin as he slid his finger along your cheek, tilting his head closer to you.
his breath fanned against your cheek, a wave of disgust washing over you. ârise, child.â he whispered, and you knew better than to disrespect his wishes. you stood, shoulders pulled back, emotionless. he chuckled, clearly pleased with your obedience.
the roomâs attention had been pulled back to you, as you stood helplessly in front of the group of wizards and witches. the group of death eaters, all gathered in one place.
all gathered together, just to watch you become one of them.
two pairs of hands grabbed you, holding you into place. on one side, dolohov had you in a tight grip, and on the other side, dracoâs aunt bellatrix stood, hardly holding you at all - simply because she knew she didnât have to. you were severely overpowered, and at this point, utterly hopeless.
âyouâve always been such an obedient little thing, havenât you, y/n.â she cooed, twisting her finger into a lock of your hair. she smiled sickly, releasing the strand and leaning close to your ear. âdonât worry. this is gonna hurt a lot.â she whispered, not giving you any time to respond or consider her words as the curse that sealed your fate left the dark lordâs lips.
in your final fleeting second, your eyes met those of your father, the undeniably pleased expression on his face, and the relief in his eyes. a scream tore through your lips, your body crumbling to the floor as a fiery pain shot through you, searing hotter and hotter as the mark engraved itself into the flesh of your forearm.
that was the last thing you remembered before you passed out.
âjust breathe, y/n.â you could almost hear dracoâs soothing voice echoing in your ears, could almost feel the ghost of his arm wrapping around you and pulling you against him tightly.
the moment of peace was quickly replaced with a cold shiver as the open window carried in the morningâs breeze, along with the wave of reality that came furiously crashing down on you.
you were inescapably a death eater now.
shallow, ragged breaths began to escape your lips as you desperately tried to slow your racing heart, which only seemed to beat harder and faster at your efforts. your fingers tugged mercilessly at the ends of your hair, trying to do anything to distract yourself from the panic rising in your chest.
this proved unsuccessful, however, as your eyes were quick to find their way back to the fresh wound on your forearm, unable to keep your gaze away. you felt entranced, as though it was a figment of your reality; as if it werenât real.
oh, how you wished it werenât real.
you wished you were asleep. that this was all one big nightmare, and youâd wake up in the comfort of dracoâs arms, as he carded a hand through your hair and whispered to you that it was nothing more than a nightmare.
it wasnât just a bad dream, though. it was certainly a nightmare, only it was one that you couldnât be woken up from.
a never-ending nightmare; that was your life from now on.
bellatrixâs words rung in your head, playing over and over as though placed on a broken record. âyouâve always been such an obedient little thing, havenât you, y/n.â
you couldnât fathom why her words were haunting you so intently, as sheâd never gotten to you like this before. deep down, you knew why it bothered you so much, you simply didnât want to admit it;
the fact that she was absolutely right.
for countless years, youâd done exactly as you were told. you always took yes as an answer, always abiding by the rules; stepping out of line was out of the question.
you had been raised in a family of purebloods, which in turn meant you had a reputation to uphold. and that wasnât just your own. you represented generations of wizards and witches held to the highest degree of standards, and you were no exception.
your family would simply not tolerate anything less than perfection, and you would have done anything to please and earn the favour of your parents.
never once had you doubted them. you became the shallow, perfect pureblood child they trained you to be. despite their blood prejudice and the way they flaunted their wealth as power, you wanted to believe they were good people. they were your family.
family always came first.
but at what cost? as you desperately clutched your arm, hoping to numb any amount of the pain, you vaguely wondered at what point things had turned for the worst. you wondered when their selfish intent turned malicious; at what point had you truly lost your parents?
most of all, you wondered how you hadnât noticed the change in their demeanor.
maybe you had, and had subconsciously ignored it. desperation did strange things to people, and you were no better than anyone else. everyone had flaws; today, you learned yours was blindly trusting and seeing the best in those you loved.
your body jumped as you heard the twisting of the door knob, and you threw the silky sheet back over your body, quickly turning over and feigning sleep. you heard the creak of the door followed by some shuffling, and the click of the door closing. footsteps approached the bed, and you tried to relax your body, despite the urge to tense your muscles under the pain.
you focused on keeping your breathing even, having mastered a fake sleep pattern in the case your parents found you awake at an inacceptable hour. you heard your visitor stop beside the foot of the bed, likely checking up on you. you mentally willed them to leave.
âi know youâre awake, love.â he spoke quietly, and you felt your heart nearly jump out of your chest at the recognition. you didnât miss the raw tinge to his voice, as though heâd hardly spoken in days, and like heâd been crying.
of course, if there was one person on this planet you couldnât fool, it was draco. he would recognize your unusual sleeping patterns. he knew you better than the back of his own hand, not to mention the countless nights youâd fallen asleep in his arms.
you peeled your eyes open, glaring at him humorlessly, despite the flurry of emotion threatening to spill out at any given moment. you two stared at each other for a moment, before the irritation from the consistent pain in your body spilled over, unable to hold your tongue any longer.
âso now youâre speaking to me?â you mumbled, annoyance flaring. you watch him sigh, running a stressed hand through his hair.
âi had a feeling youâd say something like that.â he chuckled humorlessly, finally tearing his gaze away from you to look down at his hands.
âfour weeks without any sort of communication and thatâs all you have to say?â you challenged, and draco flinched at your harsh words.
âiâm sorry.â he muttered, not even bothering to look up at you, avoiding the look of disgust you were sending his way. âi-â his words were cut short as you hissed, another wave of pain washing over you. the searing heat in your arm flared once more, and you gripped it tightly.
draco moved wordlessly to your side, handing you a bottle - one you hadnât even noticed heâd been holding. you arched a brow, questioningly. draco sighed.
âfor merlin's sake, itâs a healing potion, y/n. itâs not going to kill you.â he rolled his eyes. âjust drink it, itâll help take away some of the pain. trust me, i know.â he explained, and you were too caught up in the unbearable suffering to register his words.
you plucked the bottle from his grasp, drinking it greedily. almost instantaneously the pain began to subside, and you breathed a sigh of relief. you pretended not to notice dracoâs eyes on you as you allowed your tense body to relax, basking in the moment of peace you were finally able to claim.
draco sighed, standing and moving to leave. it was like a switch had flipped in your head, finally processing the words that left his lips. his hand reached for the knob, just as you called out. âwait!â
he turned, his eyes wide in surprise as you called him back. âcan i ask you something?â you asked, hesitantly. he nodded instantly, and you frowned, tilting your head in confusion. âwhat did you mean, when you said you knew? that the potion would help, i mean?â
your question seemed to take draco completely offguard, as his body tensed completely at your words. he took a second, and then another, before making his way over to you. wordlessly, he offered you his left arm, his long sleeve hiding his skin from view.
you froze, looking up at him in pure shock. of course, you knew what he was showing you before you had even moved his sleeve enough for the engraving to begin to peek out from underneath. still, needing the confirmation, you gently rolled up his sleeve, your heart plummeting at the sight before you.
the black marking - the one identical to your own - contrasted brutally against his porcelain skin, showing off to the world exactly where his allegiance lied - whether that was his choice or not, it didnât matter. now, he would forever be a death eater.
as would you.
a heavy silence passed over the two of you, as you held his wrist in one hand and used the other to gently trace the mark seared into his skin. he said nothing, only watching you with a nervous gaze.
another moment passed before he stopped your actions, taking your hands in his as he slowly moved to kneel in front of you, pulling your full attention. âcan i ask you something now?â he muttered, and you nodded. âdo you really think i would shut you out, without any warning, just like that?â he asked, dejectedly.
you shook your head, suddenly hit with a pang of guilt. a part of you knew draco would never do such a thing, but the longer time passed, the more you questioned the various possibilities that couldâve happened.
âno, but i didnât know what to think. four weeks, draco, and nothing. why? why wouldnât you just tell me about this,â you gestured to the marking on his arm, âi couldâve helped you! i.. i..â you trailed off, tears starting to spill down your cheeks.
draco released one of your hands to gently cup your cheek, pulling so that your gaze met his. he used the pad of his thumb to brush away your fallen tears, smiling sadly. âi was forbidden to speak with you until you were give your mark in case.. in case i tried to interfere.â he explained solemnly, âit was our fathersâ idea. they said they couldnât risk me telling you and you trying to run.â
wordlessly, you surged forward, throwing your arms around him and burying your face in his neck. you felt him do the same, his hands desperately gripping at the fabric of your shirt as though it were the only thing grounding him in that moment.
you simply sat there, breathing in his scent and allowing the waves of comfort to wash over you, before moving back to capture his lips with your own.
every kiss you shared with draco was passionate, however, this one was different. it was filled with emotion; the longing, the pain, and the desperation you both felt in that moment presented itself in your kiss, fueling the love in your actions.
he pulled away, leaning his forehead on yours. âiâm so sorry. i wanted to warn you.â he whispered, his voice breaking, and you shook your head. brushing a strand of his messy platinum hair out of his face, your eyes moved to gaze deep into his stormy grey ones.
usually full of mischief and light, with the occasional anger if heâd had a particularly annoying run in with potter, now void of all emotion, nothing more than a pit of emptiness hiding behind his eyelids. the sight broke your heart.
though you imagined that same emptiness could be found reflected in your eyes, as well.
âi know.â you mumbled, pressing your lips to his forehead and pulling him into your chest.
âi just want you to be safe.â he mumbled into your neck, and you shushed him softly, running a comforting hand through his hair.
âyouâve always kept me safe.â you replied, âwe keep eachother safe, yeah?â you prompted, feeling him nod against your neck. you swallowed, finding your voice once more before you attempted to speak. âdraco?â you asked quietly, feeling him hum against your skin. âweâre going to get through this, right?â
you felt him tense against you, before forcing himself to relax. âi donât know. i really hope so.â he mumbled, and you released a heavy sigh.
âme too.â your conversation died out, and the two of you stayed wrapped in eachothers arms as the weight of your situation loomed over you, slowly suffocating you both.
you didnât know what lied in store for you. you didnât know what the dark lord had planned for either of you, but there was one thing you did know: you and draco had each other. you were going to be by each other's side through whatever was thrown your way, and despite the danger hanging over your shoulder, you had someone to watch your back.
perhaps it was wishful thinking - perhaps it was simply you being naive, but a part of you believed because you were ânew recruitsâ you wouldnât be expected to do all that much, not early on, anyways.
you were soon in for a rude awakening, however, as the dark lord had already decided on how you and draco were going to prove yourselves to him as loyal followers.
if the mark broke your spirits so quickly, the news of your task was going to break you whole. it would push you past a point beyond return. youâd become a ghost trapped in your body, unrecognizable to even yourself.
for now, as you basked in dracoâs embrace, whispering sweet nothings and heartfelt promises to each other, you had no idea of the troubles to come. you were blissful in that moment, and you would later come to treasure that embrace as it would be the last of peace youâd get to experience in a very, very long time.
for the next morning would be when the dark lord summoned you and draco to inform you of your task ahead.
that was, your task of killing dumbledore.
for the fantasy asks, shield and siren? :]
Shield - how do you deal with criticism?
i take critical very well iâd say, i think it makes one better in whatever it is that is being critiqued - as long as itâs constructive. i usually just ignore any outright negative comments though :)
Siren - a song that you remember from your childhood
shape of your heart - backstreet boys !! my aunt used to play it all the time while my cousins and i played together and every time i hear it i think of those good times <3
ask game
crown and chimera!!!
Chimera - sexiest person that comes to your mind immediately?
cody christian love of my life
(he plays a chimera in teen wolf hence my first thought)
Crown - what does your tumblr url stand for?
lovelorn is just a way of saying heartbroken from unrequited love idk i just think it's a pretty word and i kinda wanna write a fic around the word :D also lovelorn was taken so luvlorn it is
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A narnia fan I seeđ
YES i am a huge edmund advocate !
i literally have a narnia masterlist in my pinned cause i used to write for it, i night again soon if i have the time to rewatch :)