Connor Murphy X Reader: Have You Ever Kissed Someone?

Connor Murphy x Reader: Have you ever kissed someone?

Words: 1537

Warnings: Swearing, almost make out, sexual tension but nothing too sexual??

Reader pronouns: she/her

Summary: Y/N has been Connor Murphy's best friend for around two years now. She has watched Connor go through his highs and lows. In their senior year, they both get even closer than ever, and finally, on a movie night, Connor makes a move. Even though it is not the move Y/N expected.

Author's note: I know it's an overused plot and mine's really short but I wanted to do it so badly! Hope you like it <3 And do have in mind this is a Connor that is comfortable around the reader because they have been friends for long, so it's not the all aggressive Connor we are used to. Also, I guess Miguel's existence is just completely erased here? Because in the book you kinda tell that Miguel and Connor hooked up at least one time, and in here we're talking about an unkissed untouched Connor Murphy? And maybe I will do a part 2 if someone actually likes this?? Tell me what you think!

Edited?: No lol ( also have in mind that english is not my first language so there will probably be mistakes )

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"Y/N?" 

His question crosses the room, like a bullet through loud wind, hissing. It would have been completely nice and you wouldn't have slightly jumped on your seat if you two weren't watching that stupid movie he had chose. You always get too immersed into movies. 

You turn your head in his direction, facing Connor. He has been your best friend since forever, if forever could mean two years. But it was now, in senior year, when you two were starting to get really, really close.  

He looks at you out of the corner of his eye, like you are some unknown creature he has just crossed paths with. Like he hadn't even called you. 

"Yeah?" Your eyes go back to the TV screen once you have checked he is okay. You had feared he had called you because he was having some random panic attack, or a mental breakdown. It wasn't like it would bother you, you were there for him, for everything he needed. You just wanted to see him happy.

"I have a question for you?" Connor kind of doubts as he speaks. That makes you glance back at him. 

You hum slightly, nudging him with your elbow in a joyful move, smiling a bit "What is it?" 

Silence. Except for the screams from the boy in the film, getting assassinated by an axe murderer. It's not pretty but you can't keep your eyes from looking, because you are horrified. Oh, you hated Connor for choosing that film, but you still got near his shoulder because of the ridiculously enormous amount of blood coming out of the boy's neck. Connor inevitably tenses at the approaching.

"Have you ever kissed someone?" 

It takes some time for you to register that it is Connor's voice, and that he is talking to you. Have you ever kissed someone? Oh. 

You look at him, finding his eyes focused on the screen, again like he hadn't talked. But he is waiting for an answer. 

Your lips get dry for no reason, so you lick them before even opening your mouth to offer him an answer. 

"Yeah," it comes hoarse and a bit rusty, but it comes out. And you were telling the truth. Connor glanced at you "You haven't?" 

Now a girl is screaming. God, that axe murderer couldn't get enough, could he? You glance at the TV as a warning, like that would make the movie stop, and then you look back at Connor. 

You had always found him attractive, and you had told him sometimes before. There's something about his angled face, the way his curls fall down, how tall he is. How kind he is. He is attractive. Your heart pounds in order to bring you back to reality. 

Connor's brow is frowned "Who did you kiss?" 

The memory comes into you slowly. Summer camp, last year. The kid was cute. And a redhead. A bit of an asshole. He was a good kisser, though. 

"It was at Summer camp last year. Mark? I think I told you about him?" You trail off, shrugging.

"And how was it?"

You open your mouth, then shut it close. You thought you knew how to describe it, but you didn't. It was… weird? In a good way?

"You haven't been kissed?" You ask again, tilting your head. 

Connor scoffs and then looks away. You think he is not going to answer, but he does "No"

"Why?" He looks at you like he wants to kill you, and you realize how bad that sounded "No, fuck- I mean, you're good looking. It's just hard to believe you haven't kissed anyone"

"Well, I haven't," he states bitterly.

You catch your lip, nibbling at it as you kept looking at him, while he kept looking at physically everything but you. 

"It's nice," you finally let out, shrugging again. He looks at you, paying attention "I mean, I guess. There are no butterflies like in books, you know? But it's nice. Sometimes it gets to sloppy" 

"Too sloppy?" Connor inquires, twitching his eyebrows. 

At this point, you are able to just stare at him and forget about the noise of the movie. You nod slowly, "Yeah, sloppy" 

He hums and, some minutes after, he nods "Get it. Nice but sloppy" 

"No, I mean- Sometimes it's sloppy. But it's nice" 

"Fine"

Connor looks at you for the last time before focusing again on the movie. You try to do the same, but you can't help but notice how tense his body is. There's something else in his mind, you could feel it. However, you decided not to push it. If it was important, having the trust you two have in each other, it would eventually come up. And you are right, it did come up. 

"It's kinda lame, y'know?" He says, suddenly, glancing at you "Being close to eighteen years old and not having kissed anyone. Like, a fucking certificate to my lame high school experience"

You purse your lips. High school hasn't been a great deal for you either "It's not lame, Con. Maybe you should wait for someone you really wanna kiss?"

Connor mutters something you're unable to catch. Then he stares right at your eyes, completely serious. It's almost weird, especially when he can't seem to say the words he has on his mouth.

"What?" you ask. 

"You can say no," he warns, high cheeks flushing pink. You don't understand nothing, until he continues ", uhm… Could you, like, kiss me? To just know what to expect when I kiss someone, you know? Not as in a creepy way, just- I don't like you or anything, I just wanna be ready. You know?"

I don't like you or anything. It stings like hell, but you help yourself from grimacing. It shouldn't hurt, anyways, you two are best friends. That's it, that's the whole deal. Your stupid little feelings about Connor fucking Murphy were your problem.

"Are you sure?" You mumble. Connor turns the TV's volume down, which you are thankful for "Do you really want your first kiss to be with… me?"

His cheeks flush pink "Yeah. You're my best friend, I'm comfortable with you. You still can say no-"

"Fine" 

Connor blinks a couple of time. He looks like he was completely sure you would reject him. Instead, you try to get comfortable on the couch, suddenly is too small, especially for two people who are planning out a kiss. It's weird. 

"How- What should I-?" Connor makes a mess of himself and he let's out a few hardcore curses when he notices. 

You just giggle, shaking your head "Just… let go" and then you leaned in. 

Your lips against his surprise him. As you had expected, because damnit if you have accidentally thought about those lips for the last months, his lips are somewhat tense, but still remaining soft. Connor's hand rests in your cheek before he makes even a move with his lips, and you tense behind his touch. Then, he kisses back, and you feel that nice feeling you had told him about some minutes before. And you feel horrible because you like it more than what you're supposed to.

You thought you would share a few kisses and then back away. Continue watching the movie. But Connor seemed focused on kissing your lips, every time making it better. He started off shy, clumsy, too tense to let go. Now he's a bit more confident, and he makes your mouth wait some infernal seconds before giving it the reward of his. He's not the best, but you know it's just because he is inexperienced. When your lips part and his tongue threatens to enter your mouth, you abruptly back away, gasping. 

"Sorry! I- Fuck, I-" Connor groans and covers his face with his hands, out of shame. You take sharp breaths in, worrying he would hear your heart beat, because your heart really seems determinate to make him hear it "I let go too much"

"It's- It's okay" you shook your head, hurrying to reassure him "I got carried away too. That was actually… good?" 

Connor's cheeks are even redder than yours "You don't seem convinced?"

"It was good" you stated then, smiling a bit. You still can't believe you kissed Connor Murphy, and it was just to let him have a first kiss. So romantic you almost scoff when you think about that "At first it was weird but then it got good. I guess you're ready to have a real first kiss"

Connor nods, a bit absently "You think?"

"Yeah- I do"

"Thank you. I guess"

He nods again, and then turns the TV's volume up again. It almost hurts how he returns to watching the movie like nothing had happened, but your remind yourself that kiss meant nothing to him, and that it should mean nothing to you. Connor just wanted to know what it was to be kissed, before he became of age. And you obliged. Then again, your feelings for Connor Murphy, now confused and panicked by those kisses, are your problem and your problem only. And now you have to figure out how to live with knowing how those lips taste.

if you have ever suffered from…

• depression

• anxiety

• eating disorder

• self-harm

• ocd

• bipolar

• feelings of guilt and hopelessness

• suicidal thoughts

can you please reblog to show support for people who also suffer.

you are not alone.

Veronica: truth or dare?

JD: truth.

Veronica: how many hours have you slept this week?

JD: dare.

Veronica: go to sleep.

JD: fUCK IT.

Heather McNamara: I need help.

Heather Chandler: Do I look like...?

Heather McNamara: I want to die.

Heather Chandler: Grow up, Heather, suicidal thoughts are so 1999.

Heather Chandler: Sorry I'm late, I've been doing things...

Veronica, entering the room with finger guns: I'm thINGS