M-b1z - MBiz - Tumblr Blog

Is This is saying you can improve something (even if it’s completely unnecessary) because it will make you happy in some way?

I’m trying to see if I understand the message you tried to send.

one thing no one ever teaches you is that you can just make things nicer and more intentional- you can take your energy drink, pour it in a rocks glass over ice with a slice of lime on the rim, and sip it slow. and you'll think, "wow i am the biggest faggot to have ever lived". and you know what? you're right.

does anyone have the pic of kirby inhaling milk straight from cow tits

automattic's made a ton of blunders recently but i hope they're not gonna try something like convert tumblr to run on wordpress, a project that both tumblr and wordpress engineers agreed would be a lot of work for no gain (most likely worse performance). that would be a silly thing to do.

The Saga of Clark (part 1)

nothing in the world makes me more evil than just being kind of annoyed

HOW DO YOU FAIL AT PLANNING SO HORRIBLY BRO. sounds fun for some people.

So I’m on a trip with my robotics team and there’s only two “girls” (me, an enby, and a cis girl), so we get our own beds in our own room, but the guys are rooming four to a room, but there’s only two beds in each room. Which means that two guys are sleeping on the floor every night.

I’m not joking. They were literally arguing over who’s sleeping on the floor tonight (apparently they plan on rotating).

And I asked them “why don’t you just share a bed?” And they all gave me the same answer:

“No, that’s weird! That’d be gay!”

And I just looked at them and I decided to break the bad news to them

“If lying next to another guy makes you wanna suck dick, you already wanted to suck dick.”

I’ve never seen so many Straight Guys™️ enraged by a single sentence before

PSA: Paypal on some more shady shit

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tag an artist save a life etc

To the moms who keep asking me how my autism was “cured,” because they want their kids to have normal lives.

Normal as you think of it isn’t in the cards. It’s just not. Your kid’s autistic. That’s not going to change. There’s no cure, because your kid’s not sick. They’re just autistic. 

You think I’m normal???

I moved to freaking Asia, where I work in a field I got minimal training in but make up as I go along. I married a dude who can’t eat bananas or raw tomatoes because the texture makes him gag. We think that wearing pajamas and watching Mythbusters while rocking back and forth in unison is romantic. It’s been six months since I wore a pair of socks, and over two years since I wore shoes that weren’t sandals. Normal isn’t going to happen. Give up on normal now.

BUT. If you teach your child to be autistic safely and give them the space to live as they’re wired to live, it’s actually pretty likely that they’ll have an awesome life. Not normal. Normal is straight up out of the question. But they may very well live awesomely. 

just don’t press the like button bro

incredibly funny Twitter update.

ps, it's me liking all that gay porn.

incredibly funny Twitter update.

ps, it's me liking all that gay porn.

BIRDS :D

this is for all the people who enjoy simply looking at pigeons doing their thing

this isn't even "landlords have to provide air conditioning" its just "you can buy a window air conditioner". every little fucking thing is a fight to the death with these people.

TONIGHT!!!!!

hey genuine question why do people put that fucking water filter over screenshots. just post them. fuck you.

Have you ever asked yourself: “What does the skunk say?” unmute to find out

ok but legitimately i think the reason why kids aren’t taking internet safety seriously is because the people who are telling us not to put our personal information out seem so out of touch. no one acknowledges the possibility of meeting very real teenaged friends online, they always say that everyone you meet is a 40 year old white man in disguise. because they aren’t acknowledging things we know are true, it becomes a lot easier to dismiss the rest of what they’re saying as well. internet safety lessons absolutely must keep up with the times and acknowledge the internet’s capacity for good if you want kids to take to heart warnings about its capacity for bad.

“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”

im going to have a stroke