F/O, Upon First Meeting S/I: Oh, A Little Guy!

F/O, upon first meeting S/I: Oh, a little guy!

F/O, upon learning a bit more about S/I: Oh, they're a little fucked up actually.

trust me, I was scared too

(but you’re a puddle now so I guess I did a good job??) (you are hereby excused)

Imagine your F/O… but imagine them flawless.

Their dorky rambles you can’t help but pay close attention to, even if you have no idea what they’re about? Nope. The smirk you love so much, perhaps that chuckle of theirs? Forget it. All of those little “imperfections”: their tragic past, their cockiness, their flawed looks? None of that.

Except… It feels wrong now. This isn’t your F/O; this is a mundane, stereotypical, so-horribly-wrong shell.

You didn’t fall in love with a perfect being because your F/O is perfect to you. It’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it? To feel such a dedicated, yearning, unrelenting love for someone with their flaws, not despite them. Even if they can’t see it in themselves, you’d never dream of them being a regret or a mistake. Your F/O is just so imperfectly them.

… So why would your F/O ever wish for a “flawless” you?

Yes, all that was said about them in the paragraphs above applies to you. No matter how hard it may be to believe it, your F/O wants you with all your “burdens”. They want you through breakdowns and panic attacks, through triggers and relapses. They want to be your comfort, your light in the darkness, your strength.

They’re just so happy they get the honor of being with their beloved, someone who is so imperfectly you.

i want to be inconvenienced by you. i want to wait for you, i want to hold your things while you do something else, i want to make adjustments to my plans to make space for you. someone at your side who takes up no space and has no needs of their own is not a person, but a shadow. i don't want a shadow, i want you. i want my life to be altered by your presence in it. please, inconvenience me.

TW: past abuse. trauma theme.

—- + -—

Whatever happened in the past, it robbed you of something. Choices were so fickle, people were so hard to please, and it took a great toll on you blindly walking on eggshells everyday.

You should’ve seen the look in your F/O’s eyes when they learnt of this. It wasn’t a crazy or disgusted look, never. It was just… hollow and lost. A labyrinth of feelings spearing through them: rage at the person(s) who did this, painful vulnerability that they weren’t there to shield their beloved, utter confusion at why anybody would even dare to think such things of you— much less act them out… and determination. The determination to show you that you can and have proved your abuser wrong.

Your F/O is there to commemorate the good days. They’ll greet each beautiful morning and send off each graceful night with your stunning smile in mind. Even when the moment comes that you doubt your past, they make sure to come close — whether literally or figuratively — and list off all of the amazing things you were able to do despite the pain brought by people who were supposed to cherish you (even if you think the only remarkable thing you did was getting out of bed for two seconds.) The past tried to destroy you, and you endured even when it seemed hopeless. It’s okay to rest now, your F/O loves each and every “broken” part of you.

Your F/O is there to remind you you’re not alone when the world has chosen you to play Atlas. No matter how much you could try to convince them otherwise, they’ll always reply with a gentle (yet pointed) look, because “Even if this is you being a burden, I’d still carry something ten times heavier just to spend a few moments with you.” They’ll encourage you to allow yourself soft moments… coax you to let down your walls around them— as far as you’re comfortable, of course… happily give you small reasons to greet each day alongside them… ease in each and every awe-inspiring thing about you so you can at least see a fraction of yourself the way they see you…

Your F/O is simply, endlessly, lovingly there.

Imagine your parental f/o(s) singing Graham’s Lullaby (King’s Quest) to you…

when one person in a couple takes on a more monstrous/scary form (especially for the sake of protecting the other person) and they're so worried about the other person seeing them and being disgusted at the sight of them but when the other person does see them they're so gentle and so patient and they just want to make sure their beloved is okay and maybe even ground them if their monstrous form is overwhelming for them and it's just. you know