The Dilemma

The Dilemma

Now, both Viki and Gaga have (re-)released episode 8 and moved up the schedule, so episode 9 will air on October 3rd. So, theoretically, there are no longer any barriers to me watching episode 8 - except ...

I repeat: everyone who has watched it is clearly miserable.

Now, I'm thinking the best thing to do is hold out 'til Tuesday and watch both 8 and 9 together and hopefully spare myself some pain.

Unfortunately, after watching ep. 7, I have a crazy ass theory I want to share, but I can't even clown properly because episode 8 is out there.

Maybe I've been proved wrong - or, worse, I'm right, but everyone else already knows.

I don't know how to feel.

Apparently, they accidentally released episode 8 of Kiseki: Dear To Me today, and some folks were able to see it while it was still up. I feel like I missed out ... but everyone who saw it is miserable.

Not looking forward to next week.

I need to stop watching previews because they make it ten times harder to wait for a new episode. I’m looking at you My Personal Weatherman!

The miscommunication is strong between these two, and while I’m usually not a fan of that, I think it works really well for this story and these characters. Yoh has incredibly low self esteem and thinks poorly of himself, and thinks Segasaki is better than him in every way. Segasaki is a man of action and rarely uses his words to express his feelings. Even if Segasaki uses his words, Yoh doesn’t understand his meaning and thinks he means something else (usually something negative). Man-san’s husband had my favorite lines in this episode when he talked about how a person can misinterpret another’s words based on their mood. Which is exactly what Yoh did, he thought Segasaki was being demeaning and unappreciative about his job, when Segasaki was trying to be comforting (though his word choice was not great, admittedly).

Anyways, we got a glimpse of Yoh and Segasaki in college and how Yoh fell in love at first sight (basically), though he seems to deny those feelings. The tension between them was insane, especially when they stared at each other while passing in the hallway. We also kinda get an idea of where Yoh’s low self esteem comes from, which seems to be from other people telling him that he is a nobody, a loner, and a weirdo.

Im excited to see how Mizuki fell in love with Yoh in the next episode, and it obviously has to do with Yoh taking care of him when he was sick. And the CURRY! Yoh’s terrible curry that Mizuki wants to eat again, probably because it shows that Yoh cares for him.

And a confrontation/kiss in the rain?!! Potentially Segasaki realizing that he could loose Yoh because Yoh doesn’t understand their relationship. There are so many ways that I would personally write this scene, so I am curious how it actually turns out.

And now the countdown to next Friday begins…

The casts looks very promising so far

Lord here comes this thieving ass gigolo please

It’s giving

Me ... rabbit hole.

Segasaki's Public Persona

Hi sorry I gotta put these boys back in the microwave and hit whammy on the +30 seconds button ad infinitum to examine them or I’m not gonna make it to next Thursday for the next episode. 

This time I need to talk about Segasaki’s public persona and how it relates to his relationship with Yoh.

Throughout the series so far, we’ve seen that the public Segasaki is very different than the private Segasaki. The public Segasaki is charming, polite, and friendly. He speaks in a different register. He even smiles and laughs! But it’s very much an act that Segasaki turns on and off at will. Yoh notices when Segasaki turns the act on him (describing it as 外面, his “outside face,” as notfreetoday outlines here) in Episode 3 and Segasaki deliberately weaponizes it in Episode 4 to assert his claim on Yoh to Man-san.

In Episode 6, we see the college-era public Segasaki, as Yoh first sees Segasaki in the cafeteria surrounded by friends. He smiles, he laughs, he speaks in that different register. But when he’s not “on” in the conversation, he looks uncomfortable. When he catches Yoh looking at him, he looks downright miserable. But Yoh doesn’t look away, and we see Segasaki notice him, question what he’s seeing, and then be utterly struck by feeling something, some kind of connection. (It’s a beautifully subtle piece of acting.) Yoh catches a glimpse of the private Segasaki and remains enthralled; surely a novel experience to someone who feels the need to perform in these settings to make people like him.

Segasaki clearly finds it intriguing enough to take advantage of an opportunity to meet Yoh and ditch his friends. He’s still very much the public Segasaki with Yoh in that first meeting; polite and friendly and charming. But he immediately starts testing the waters. What if I whisper conspiratorially in your ear, making it clear it’s us vs. them? What if I grab you casually to steer you around? What if I tell you nerdy weather facts? What if I get close to you? What would you do?

And Yoh responds beautifully. While confused that someone like the popular Segasaki would bother with him, he’s happy to be in a little conspiracy of two with Segasaki. He lets Segasaki steer him without protesting. He’s fascinated by the weather facts. He lets Segasaki crowd him because he realizes he enjoys it. Yoh might not be able to parse that his overwhelming feelings for Segasaki are romantic at this point, but he does demonstrate to Segasaki that he’s someone Segasaki could trust with his private self. 

Which we see in the scene immediately following in the library set an undetermined amount of time later. Segasaki’s dropped the honorifics. He speaks to Yoh in that low voice he only uses with Yoh. He crowds him and clearly enjoys Yoh’s reaction to being crowded. He even bosses him around a bit, assigning him a little book report so Segasaki has an excuse to see him later.* This is not the public Segasaki everybody else gets to see; this is the private Segasaki that he only trusts Yoh with. 

Segasaki’s public persona versus his private self is a theme that was introduced as early as Episode 1, but I wanted to point it out here because I think this is one of the key reasons that Segasaki fell in love with Yoh and fell so hard. The preview for Episode 7 implies that Segasaki didn’t realize how fake his smiles with his friends were until he saw himself in Yoh’s sketches. Not only can Segasaki be himself around Yoh, but Yoh may be the one who opened his eyes to the dichotomy between his public persona and his private self and the toll the former takes on him. No wonder Segasaki’s so in love with him and so fearful of losing him; Yoh is a safe harbor for him that no one else is. For Segasaki, Yoh is home.

And Yoh has no idea how important he is to Segasaki and he's gonna find out!!! Ahhh!!!!

*The book Segasaki hands Yoh is a copy of J'cause français, non?, which appears to be a linguistics book from the 1980s addressing then contemporary fears about the downfall of the French language. I looked it up because I thought the book might be a cute Easter egg, but it’s clearly just a random book from the school library they were filming in. That said, I love the idea of Yoh mentioning he's looking for a book and Segasaki panicking and handing him a book in a language neither of them can read because he wants to provide for Yoh so bad. Nerds (affectionate). 

@shouldiusemyname Yes, I've finally reached the future. First watch at 6 AM while getting ready for work.

I'm in love with these two fools!

The way he was staring back at him the moment he noticed his eyes on him