Maybe You Arent The Girl The Guys Look At When You Walk By Or The Girl The Guys Wants But Thats Okay

Maybe you aren’t the girl the guys look at when you walk by or the girl the guys wants but that’s okay because you don’t need a guy to feel pretty or wanted.

Reminders to myself (via myonlywayoutofhere)

So important.

(via creepyscripts)

Maybe you aren’t the girl the guys look at when you walk by or the girl the guys wants but that’s okay because you don’t need a guy to feel pretty or wanted.

Reminders to myself (via myonlywayoutofhere)

So important.

(via creepyscripts)

Even if you never listen to any other thing I have to say, please listen to this:

Stop disparaging your work.

No matter what form it takes, prefacing your work with phrases like, “This sucks; This is probably bad; I’m not a good writer/artist/creator but I did this anyway,” is a two-edged knife and both sides are lethal.

On the one hand, putting yourself down rots away not only any self-esteem you do have, but any you might be trying to build. If the most constant voice in your life – your own – tells you you’re awful, you’ll never be any good, why bother when so-and-so is ‘better’ or such-and-such is ‘more popular’ guess what? You’ll start believing that voice. And, chances are, you’ll stop creating anything at all, because why bother?

The other deadly edge of the knife is that if you’re putting work out there – and I see this all the time – with tags or artist’s/author’s notes that say, “This probably sucks,” or variants, many people won’t give it a chance. They will never even click the read more or the link that might let them make up their own minds because you’ve already told them it’s not worth their time. People are pretty susceptible to suggestion. If you start them off with the thought, “This is going to suck,” even those who do click that read more will be predisposed to see the flaws you’ve prepared them for and think poorly of your effort.

Stop disparaging your own work.

I know it’s hard. I do. Putting yourself out there where anyone can see and anyone can say anything is so terrifying. Creative work is personal. It often leaves us feeling particularly vulnerable. When we’re vulnerable and afraid of being hurt, we often get defensive even before anything bad has been said. A lot of the time, that defensiveness comes out as self-deprecation.

Nothing is ever perfect. Everything has flaws. That’s part of what makes each creation unique. Some people will love your work. Others won’t. That goes with the territory. Make art for the audience who’ll love you, not the ones who won’t. Above all – and I cannot stress this enough – make sure that you are part of that first audience. That starts by not putting yourself down in the instant you put yourself out there.

Creating work is challenging and scary and wonderful and brave. Letting other people see that work? Even more so. Keep working. Keep learning. Keep failing and trying and failing and trying; that’s the only way any of us learn and grow and change and get better. 

But most of all? Stop putting yourself down. You deserve better than that. Yes. You do. You really, truly do.

to "the boy"

to the boy who’s heart i broke,

i’m sorry, i really am.

i’m sorry for leading you on, i’m sorry for saying all those misleading things, and i’m sorry for not being the one for you.

i’m sorry for not realizing this earlier, i’m sorry for not being sure of my feelings, and most of all i’m sorry i couldn’t let go of my feelings for someone in the past.

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to the boy that i fell in love with,

i’ve read somewhere that you don’t just stop loving someone. love is eternity and the choice was whether to commit or move on with the strong emotion buried deep down in the pits of your gut with the thoughts and fantasies of what could’ve been.

my first love, you’ve ruined me for other people.

i will probably never be able to have a conversation with any other guy without comparing them to you. the way your hand gestures and voice raises when you’re verbally defending yourself, the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about, amongst other things.

i blame the girl that destroyed your heart, that ruined you for other girls, that burned the light out of your beautiful brown eyes.

but at the same time, i’d thank her. if it was not for her we would never have been as close as we are now.

i was there. through all the emotional downfalls you’ve had at 1am in the morning because of her, i was there. i was the one asking if you were okay, that sent you all those good morning texts and virtual hugs when you were breaking down on the other side of the phone and i couldn’t be physically there for you. if i was annoying you doing all those things, i’m sorry, i’ve stopped doing them now.

i was there too, hugging your broken pieces back together. i was there, offering you glue or needle and thread to mend your heart back together. but it was you that made the choice to stick them back, to pull through all the shit you’ve faced and stand up from where you’ve fallen down. i admire that.

deep down, i know that i will never be the one for you. the one to make you smile, the one for you to get protective over, the one to hold your hand in public, and the one to call you mine. the closest title to “mine” i’ll ever get from you is “my best friend”.

but that’s okay i guess. because the one thing that i know about love is sacrifice.

the phrase goes, “if you love something, set it free. if it is meant to be, then it will come back to you.” although i haven’t stopped holding on to the sliver of hope of us and what could have been, i’ve stopped pursuing after it.

i know that deep down, some part of me will always care about you and there will always be that dull ache in my heart when your name is heard, because love is eternity and the choice is commitment.

for now, thank you for everything that you’ve done and not. because if it was not for you, my heart and eyes would not have grown as wide as it does now.

- letters to my first love (via @angleofdepression)