I Need To Type It Out Because I'm Just Too Jumbled Up In My Head .
I need to type it out because I'm just too jumbled up in my head .
a) Shiro died today . I'm sad but more than that I feel relief . He is free. He is free from us . I'm so glad for him. Hope he gets better owners in next life. Someone who would pamper him and not think of him as a burden . Someone who would give him healthy food , talk him to all the walks , love him with all their heart . Someone who adopted him because they wanted to and were ready to support him in all ways. Shiro deserved better than my family. An apathic family who is always angry with each other and coming home is like coming to hell. Everyone is depressed and that includes shiro. I'm glad it's over for him. He was diseased and so so sad . No medicine worked for him and my family did not take good care of him when he was sick. We never researched what he should eat , how much attention he needs , how much activeness he needs. He was treated as a burden rather than the responsibility of a living breathing intelligent animal.
I'm angry at myself for being a apathic about it . I'm so so sad for him but I never did anything good for him. I never went out of my way to give him love or play with him daily. I killed him.
I'll never keep a pet , or have a baby. I'm not emotionally capable enough to care for another living being and I do not wish to destroy their life . I can't even take care of my self. I don't want to be the cause of killing someone else . I don't want to destroy another living animal or human because I'm not loving enough . I'm not tactile enough . I'm too apathic. I'm to cold and heartless . I'm selfish . I never care enough. I do not wish to subject another person or animal to this.
Shiro deserves better. I hope he is now flying away in the clouds and getthing many head pats and nose bops. Tonnes of love and amazing food. All free space to run and be happy . Shiro is now free from us and I hope he is happy
More Posts from Masterprocastinatortilldeath
Learned helplessness
Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.
Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?
Me: I am going to eat you
I am very frustrated with the state of awareness about mental health in my country . It's either 'this person is mad ' or 'this person is just sad '. Especially depression , People don't understand how depression creeps in and stays. They don't understand that it doesn't chose between the rich and poor , the emplyed and the unemployed , the young and old etc. Anyone can get depressed. That person might be the happiest person you might know but they can be equally depressed inside. Moving out of that depression takes so much strength .
There is especially a trend of blameing the younger generation for not following the traditional values of my country and hence having more mental illnesses. And that makes me so angry . They call the older generation "mentally stable " because they followed family values , followed religion , were commited etc .
And while that do help , people in that generation had a huge amount of mental illnesses as well . So many people from that generation I know are just not happy . They are stuck in loveless marriages ( because divorce is looked down in my country ) , can't express and explore themselves individually ( because family comes first so they give up themselves for it ), don't have an outlet for their frustration and problems ( because they are expected to be strong and move past it somehow ) , employment issues , etc . Things weren't alright back then too . It's just looking at the world with rose coloured glasses. They struggled too . They are still struggling.
So what I want to say is , what use is blaming our generation ? We have our own set of problems that the older generation doesn't understand and think we are over exaggerating . Why is there a generation divide ? Why can't people be more understanding and sympathetic instead of saying, oh if this person did this or this then they wouldn't be sad . There is victim blaming disguised as praising the traditional values and I'm so sad about that .
My journey through the Daylight Prarie OOB !
It begins with this random pillars floating in the sky ! Made me want to play some Parkour like in Minecraft .
Then we fly along to watch the most clearest view of the lightening storm in the Eden I've ever seen ! The red tinge to the mountain was certainly ominous.
And then I walked till I could see the temples of the final area of the Daylight Prarie. It was so beautiful !
Moving along till I reached the area with huge holes ! These holes are the ones that let in light for the cave area of the Daylight Prarie .
Looking inside some of the holes ! I'm sure the stairs are familiar !
The area above the cave after the tunnel looks like a horror scene . I was quite surprised by the adrupt change in lighting ! The one other player with me looks like so scary in this lighting!
Finally ending this journey by coming out of the OOB area and into the final area of Daylight Prarie !
I'll explore it more some other time !
