Trapped Between The World Of The Living And The Sweet Embrace Of The Grave, Vampire Finches Are Unable

Trapped between the world of the living and the sweet embrace of the grave, Vampire Finches are unable to enjoy the pleasures of either. The grains and seeds they enjoyed before their unfortunate transformation taste only of ash, leaving within them still a hunger which must and yet cannot be satisfied. No scientific explanations have adequately described the origins of these cursed avians, nor have they articulated adequate protections therefrom. Good luck.

Oral hygiene is still important for birds even after all of their adult teeth fall out! While some birds are less fastidious about the daily cleaning routine, this Double Crested Cormorant appears to be enthusiastic about gargling. Ordinarily these birds have a pale pinkish-white mouth interior, so as you can see this DCC is probably using some sort of ‘cool mint’ mouthwash to rid themself of bad breath.

A male Double-crested Cormorant (Phalacrocorax auritus) in full breeding colors, gaping, at Morro Bay, California, USA

photograph by Gregory Smith | Flickr CC

Hello friend! Thank you for your valuable contribution to Bird Discourse (or as it is known in Prosumer Ornithographical circles: Bourse). 

While ordinarily we here at The Academy of Bird Sciences welcome any and all corrections in the name of scientific cooperation and education, in this specific instance it appears you are in error: the photo you have attached is an Eastern Meadowlark, sister species to the Western Meadowlark described above. Do not be dismayed, this sort of mistake happens all of the time! They look quite similar but can be differentiated by the fact that Eastern Meadowlarks are incapable of terrestrial locomotion, as you can see in the above photograph. While ordinarily this would be a minor impairment to other birds, these skyborne Sturnella are quite able to hunt and eat enough aerial insect life to sustain their unceasing flapping.

Thank you again for your Bourse and have a nice day!

Incapable of traditional flight, Western Meadowlarks maneuver through the world by leaping with powerful legs. Capable of jumping three times their body’s length completely vertically, these springy Sturnella are hardly hampered by the lack of flying ability; many casual observers have been fooled into believing they take wing due to the speed and precision of their numerous jumps. Above, a pair of meadowlarks judge the leaping form of a third.

(image source)

Wow!! Another person wants to share their Meadowlark Bourse (bird discourse)! Luck be a lady and that lady is me :)

Thank you very much tumblr user bluecrownedsnakes for sharing your results when searching for corroboration of my posts. After all, the foundation of good science is replication! Unfortunately you seem to have run into a fairly common problem: The Academy of Bird Sciences is simply so far advanced in the field of ornitholobiolographical research that it takes months to even years for everyone else to catch up to our findings. This delayed acceptance will of course lead to small moments of embarrassment (such as this misunderstanding about sandhill crane incubation tactics) from time to time, but it is a minor price to pay for living on the “bleeding edge” of science.

So please rest assured! Meadowlarks on the ground are Western, in the air are Eastern. If you are still hesitant to believe, simply wait a few years and run your search again. Alternatively, you could ask tumblr users @birdycreatures, @snailkites, or @sitta-pusilla, all of whom tend to keep up-to-date on the newest field research.

 Thank you so much for this opportunity to share Bourse! It is one of my favourite parts of this job :)

Incapable of traditional flight, Western Meadowlarks maneuver through the world by leaping with powerful legs. Capable of jumping three times their body’s length completely vertically, these springy Sturnella are hardly hampered by the lack of flying ability; many casual observers have been fooled into believing they take wing due to the speed and precision of their numerous jumps. Above, a pair of meadowlarks judge the leaping form of a third.

Name: Rufous T. Robin Occupation: Unemployed

“Well I mean it’s not so bad, like yeah I don’t have my own ride so it’s a bit more difficult trying to get attention from ~the ladies~ but i keep trying. I mean, not that I actually know what to do if one of ‘em says yes! I still live at my parent’s nest and I’m pretty sure no matter how awkward my life is now it would be a million times worse if Mom barged in trying to feed us grasshoppers at an umm... at an ‘inopportune time’. I don’t think I’d ever be able to live that down.”

“I get really bad migraines, like bad enough that I lose the last meal I ate. I think it’s a hereditary thing for me, because I’m told my grandfather had them and I know my father gets them. I grew up terrified that I would get them someday; I’d watch my dad lay in a dark quiet hollow trying to just endure it and he always looked like he was in so much pain. Now I know that he was and I’m thankful that I only get them a few times a year, but gods across the sky I wish I never got them at all.”