It's Not That I Don't Have Emotions, It's Just That They Happen In A Brain That's Next Door To The One

It's not that I don't have emotions, it's just that they happen in a brain that's next door to the one I live in. It's like "oh, I'm crying. I wonder what happened? Anyways, back to thinking about my obsessions."

dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called-

me: i dont wanna hear it man. last week it was slutweed, the week before that it was the jpeg weed that kept clipping through the paper, just give me the normal shit

dealer: aw come on man i got the cocomelon weed👶 i got the analog horror weed👁 i even got the pizza tower weed🍕 dont worry its not just oregano😉🌿

me: do you even sell normal weed. are you some kind of fucking trickster spirit.

high pitched gnomish voice from somewhere in dealer’s giant trenchcoat: i thinjk shes onto us boss

There's people for whom "we're leaving in the morning" means "we ride at dawn motherfuckers, you can finish waking up and getting dressed in the car, we'll grab breakfast somewhere along the way", and there's people for whom it means "we'll get going somewhere before noon".

And then they get married.

Source:

PSA

Do you think Phillip Screwdriver and Allen Wrench ever explored each others bodies