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Every line in this video is iconic

So the subplot of Holes is that Kate Barlow deals with the politically-sanctioned execution of her black boyfriend—who unlawfully kissed a white woman who was in love with him!!!—by becoming a serial killer who targets racist/sexist white dudes who harassed her, were rejected, then went after her boyfriend as revenge from the depths of the “friend zone”.

Go off Louis Sachar, let em know!

Barbie Volkswagen Microbus (2002)

Dude this line read is so good

Tell me a soft memory

barbie official: we’re gonna put all our movies on youtube for free!

youtube, still selling their movies: huh? what’d they say they were going to do?

this video is making me SOB

please read the best twitter story i’ve seen all week

story time: presidential edition

so you know how everyone has a story

you know

like the story

like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story

and you know exactly what they mean

the story

well 

i have a story

and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:

barack obama

pre-2008 reebok sneakers 

and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life 

so here we go

it all began eight years ago

(i was a gangly child then) 

and barack obama came to town

(when i was a young girl)

(my father took me out into the city)

(to see the president of the united states, obama) 

(barack obama)

except it wasn’t the city but where my parents worked 

and my mother was hired to take pictures of obama shaking the hands of others

(rich people)

(ceo’s) 

(people who didn’t wear reeboks to meet the president)

so i skipped school to see obama

(naturally) 

(but my teacher was a republican so it still counted as an absence) 

and the adventure begun

but as i soon learned

most of the adventure was waiting in a large room with my mother and some secret service men for roughly eight hours 

because there is no timing with obama

(barack obama)

no one can know when obama is supposed to be there

(barack obama)

there is no, like, obama warning system

(barack)

it’s just that one second he’s not there

and the next second

he’s there

(barack obama)

so it was eight hours

and i remember nothing from those eight hours except for when one of the secret service men tried to talk to me

‘how are your studies,’ he said

how’s school, he probably meant

but i didn’t understand at the time

i was a gangly child

i was scared

he was tall

(i cried)

and then all of a sudden

(about eight hours into the eight hours)

he was there

(barack obama)

he was beauty 

he was grace

he was

(barack obama)

he walked into the room

he wasn’t wearing reeboks 

(i noticed)

(i began to feel i’d made a mistake)

my mother took pictures of him shaking the hands of others

(rich people)

(ceo’s)

(none of whom were wearing reeboks) 

and at the very end

obama began to leave 

(barack obama)

i was happy enough to have graced his presence

but my parents

my parents were not happy

they needed more

‘mr. obama,’ they called

and they pointed to me

‘of course,’ obama said

(barack obama)

he’s so nice, i thought

and then it hit me

oh no, i thought

oh yes, my parents thought at some point, probably

i’m obama, obama thought, most likely

i was going to meet obama

up close and personal

obama

(barack obama)

the rest was a blur

and the next thing i knew i was there

with obama

(barack obama)

his hand was shaking my hand

his hand was on my hand

(nothing had ever felt so right)

‘so what’s you’re name,’ he asked 

(with obama’s voice)

(because he was obama)

(barack obama)

and i almost forgot but i told him

and he said it correctly even though it’s weird 

(obama said my name)

and we were off to a good start

how was i to know

how was i to know the horrors to come

‘so how old are you,’ he asked then

and that’s when this dream became a nightmare

‘twelve,’ i said

a seemingly innocent answer

but here’s the thing

i was 

thirteen. 

(thirteen)

(13)

(12+1)

(16-3)

(13.0)

(Thirteen.) 

what have i done, i thought

(panic! at the election)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3LGopSVju4

i still don’t know why i did it

did i really forget? 

did i do it for the thrill of the chase?

to see if i could?

maybe

but obama didn’t know

i did it, i thought, i lied

i lied to the president of the united states

i pulled it off

the greatest lie in history

the greatest heist

(i didn’t know what a heist was)

(i was thirteen)

‘oh so you’re in 6th grade then,’ obama said

shit.

i was so close

shit what do i say, i thought

the journey is not over

the nightmare rages on

what do i say

i open my mouth to say, yes

‘no,’ i say

what the fuck, i think 

‘no i’m in 7th grade” 

(because i was)

maybe he won’t know, i thought

but he did.

(obama’s been around the block)

(obama knows what’s up)

‘so you’re ahead of your class, then’ he said

(i wasn’t)

(i failed basic math at least twice by this time)

‘yes,’ i said, just wanting this nightmare to be over

just wanting the lie to end

for obama to call me out on my shit and arrest me

to spend the rest of my youth locked away in prison where i couldn’t hurt anyone any more with my lies

i waited

i waited for arrest

but arrest didn’t come

and that was even worse.

obama trusted me

obama thought i was a good kid

obama thought i was ahead of my class 

(ahead of my class) 

i let him down

i let obama down

(barack obama)

i watched him leave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYNH1baA_7k

obama, i mouthed out after him

obama i’m sorry

(he trusted me)

why did i do it, you ask

i don’t know

after all these years

i still don’t know

it still haunts me

i still wake up at night, shaking, and i think

i lied to the president of the united states

(twice)

the photographic evidence of my nightmare hangs in my father’s office

i’m smiling through my pain

i’m wearing reeboks

obama is not

(barack obama)

i hope that someday, after obama’s retirement 

we can put this all behind us and start anew 

start fresh

(no more lies)

(no more deceit)

but i’m not naive

i know that we can never really go back

back to the way things were

five seconds after i met him but five seconds before i lied

but i can dream

i can hope

obama

obama i’m sorry

(barack obama)

video essays i love and think about a lot (mainly in relation to pop culture):

aaliyah, britney & the apathy of lifetime “biopics”

baby phat enterprise:  how kimora lee simmons pioneered 2000’s fashion

whiplash vs. black swan — the anatomy of the obsessed artist

born sexy yesterday

parasite — the power of symbols

hilary duff, lizzie mcguire, and the teen idol pigonhole

why this font is everywhere

it’s time to talk about the r@cism in dan schneider’s shows

a legally blonde fashion analysis

ghost singing: jennifer lopez’s stolen vocals and songs

the late capitalism of kpop

jennifer’s body and the horror of bad marketing

let’s get sad: a last of us video essay

video vixens got paid like rappers

how midsommar brainwashes you

beyonce’s voice is changing (part one, part two, part three)

explained: smoking and the voice

here’s what we missed on glee

how one netflix movie broke the entire internet

naughty dog’s game design is outdated

jeffree star faked everything about… well, everything

how we failed megan fox

mariah carey’s voice

token black girl: how tyra banks vs. naomi campbell was orchestrated by the industry

colorism in your favorite black sitcoms

that 80s show and the limits of nostalgia

‘us’ and the american dream: what it means

unraveling the madness of kanye west

life is strange: the worst best friend

Miniature Food Magnets

Nice Crumbs Shop on Etsy

Little Women (1949), dir. Mervyn LeRoy

When my little sister was making her first Webkinz account she went to put her name in (which is Michelle) and it told her she couldn’t use it. So she tried Shelly instead and it did the same thing. We were really confused, like what was wrong with it, it’s just a name. Then we realized it was because it had the word hell in it. She had to modify her own name to Shely in order for it to work.

Also just recently I was playing a game that asked me to pick a last name for a character, so I randomly picked Cummings and it told me it was inappropriate because it had cum in it.

when i was 12 i got banned from yahoo answers and when i emailed support to be like “what did i do??” i got a really vague answer that just said “you know what you did” and it still haunts me to this day

Free Online Language Courses

Here is a masterpost of MOOCs (massive open online courses) that are available, archived, or starting soon. I think they will help those that like to learn with a teacher or with videos.  You can always check the audit course or no certificate option so that you can learn for free.

American Sign Language

ASL University

Sign Language Structure, Learning, and Change

Arabic

Arabic Without Walls

Madinah Arabic

Moroccan Arabic

Armenian

Depi Hayk

Bengali

Learn Bangla (Register to see course)

Catalan

Parla.Cat

Speak Cat

Chinese (Mandarin)

Beginner

Chinese for Beginners

Chinese Characters for Beginners

Chinese for HSK 1

Chinese for HSK 2

Chinese for HSK 3 I & II

Chinese for HSK 4

Chinese for HSK 5

Mandarin Chinese Level I

Mandarin Chinese Essentials

Mandarin Chinese for Business

More Chinese for Beginners

Start Talking Mandarin Chinese

UT Gateway to Chinese

Intermediate

Intermediate Business Chinese

Intermediate Chinese Grammar

Mandarin for Intermediate Learners I

Dutch

Introduction to Dutch

English

Online Courses here

Resources Here

Faroese

Faroese Course

Finnish

A Taste of Finnish

French

Beginner

AP French Language and Culture

Elementary French I & II

Français Interactif

Vivre en France - A1

Vivre en France- A2

Intermediate & Advanced

French Intermediate course B1-B2

Passe-Partout

Travailler en France A2-B1                    

Vivre en France - B1  

German

Beginner

Deutsch im Blick

German Project

German at Work

Goethe Institute

Gwich’in

Introduction to Gwich’in Language

Hebrew

Biblical Hebrew

UT Austin

Hindi

A Door into Hindi

Virtual Hindi

Icelandic

Icelandic 1-5

Indonesian

Learn Indonesian

Irish

Irish 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107

Italian

Beginner

Beginner’s Italian I

Introduction to Italian

Intermediate & Advanced

AP Italian Language and Culture

Intermediate Italian I

Advanced Italian I

Japanese

Genki

Japanese JOSHU

Japanese Pronunciation

Marugoto Courses

Tufs JpLang

Korean

Beginner

First Step Korean

How to Study Korean

Introduction to Korean

Learn to Speak Korean

Pathway to Spoken Korean

Intermediate

Intermediate Korean

Norwegian

Introduction to Norwegian I, Norwegian II

Norwegian on the Web

Persian

Easy Persian

PersianDee

Polish

Online Course

Portuguese

Pluralidades em Português Brasileiro

Russian

Beginner

A1 Course

I speak Russian

Intermediate

B1 Course

B1+ Course

B2.1 Course

B2.2 Course

Spanish

Beginner

AP Spanish Language & Culture

Basic Spanish I, Spanish II

Spanish for beginners  

Spanish for Beginners 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Spanish Vocabulary

Advanced

Corrección, Estilo y Variaciones 

Leer a Macondo

Swahili

Online Course

Turkish

Online Course

Ukrainian

Read Ukrainian

Speak Ukrainian

Welsh

Beginner’s Welsh

Discovering Wales

Yoruba

Yorùbá Yé Mi

Multiple Languages

Ancient Languages

More Language Learning Resources & Websites!

Last updated: May 2019

Ok but. Same.

Miniaturist Perfectly Recreates Historical Interiors at a Staggering 1:12 Scale

On his popular Instagram account, artist Chris Toledo shares ornate interiors and bathroom remodels. There is one distinct difference, however, between his handiwork and the type of thing you’d find on Pinterest. All of Toledo’s interiors are miniaturized at a 1:12 scale. If it weren’t for his hand cramming into the small spaces—or a full-sized toothbrush towering in the bathroom or a real head of garlic taking up half the kitchen—you’d never realize how tiny these places are; his details are just that impeccable.

Me: No one is hiring me

Adults: you’re just not trying hard enough

Me: oh yea, sorry about that. Let me apply “harder” this time. I’ll be sure to write my contact info extra “hard” this time. I’ll make sure to touch up my resume and make it hella “hard” this time around too.

This question and its answer from The New York Times work advice column is W I L D.

DIY Crochet Flower Patterns

Happy Patty Crochet on Etsy

If you want to use a non sketchy youtube downloading site I just spent some time making a really simple one here: https://y23.cmder.tech/

It lets you download the video or just the audio of a youtube video

TIL kissing bench / loveseat / conversation sofa / tête-à-tête chair. 

My sister was applying for a job at a card store and she had to take one of these. In the interview afterwards they told her she had failed it because when asked if she had ever stolen anything she answered “strongly disagree”. They then responded by asking her, “Not even a cookie from the cookie jar?” She didn’t get the job because they said she was just saying what they wanted to hear and not really being honest because it’s not possible that anyone could never have stolen anything in their entire life. In other words they didn’t hire her because she asnwered too perfectly. So really there is no winning these stupid hiring games.

job applications just keep getting weirder…..