Look At My Doctor Dawg HES Gonna DIE

Look at my doctor dawg HE’S gonna DIE

beach boys… city girls… mountain goats…

Are you coming to the fourth?

"Kamala Harris raised 50+ million dollars after Biden dropped out!" you fools.... that's the money she got from selling Biden to One Direction :(

*gets on my knees and stares at you like you're a God on an altar*

Anything. Name it and it's yours.

So, has anyone ever noticed that Luke only really seems to have done really BIG things personally when Percy was around (as in, at Camp)? Which was like, a pretty small amount of time all things considered? Now I know that logically that's only because Luke is the antagonist and Percy is the protagonist, and as such Luke has to make his moves when the protag is around for the story to function.

That's boring though so here's my personal headcanon of why that is:

Luke was just- chronically overworked to the point of just not having the TIME to deal with shit personally most of the time.

Like genuinly do you all know what sort of WORK goes into forming and sustaining armies like that? Resources, supply lines, allies, logistics, strategy- that all needs to be handled and organized! And we all know for sure Kronos wasn't the one dealing with that, and certainly no monster either. So who does this leave? RIGHT, our favorite little depressed big brother figure Luke. You think that Percy and co. are Luke's main problem? HA, he wished. Luke during every one of his appearances post TLT is just high of his ass on caffeine with a mountain of paperwork on his desk waiting for him. Sorry Lord Kronos I can't do anything against camp right now, I need to do the paperwork for the supply line proposals and then I have a meeting with our strategists to plan for our assaults.

The reason he's so downright evil in SOM? He just came out of a HORRID four-hour meeting trying to figure out how to make functioning communications work while also attempting to smooth over the bureaucracy of a functioning chain of command.

Alabaster has seen him eating raw coffee beans on multiple occasions, no one questions it anymore at this point.

We all thank Silena for managing to hide those grand canyon eyebags the guy has with make up.

Chris SWEARS that he saw Luke chugging three packs of monster energy before suddenly passing out and flatlining for a good minute and getting up and about like nothing happened seconds later. Luke's health is a minefield, the guy doesn't even know where he is half the time on the Princess Andromeda. How hasn't he died of exhaustion yet? No one knows.

Leading theory is that he lives off of spite.