What's My Favorite Pastime You Ask? Absorbing The Plot Of A Show I've Never Watched Via Fanfiction Osmosis.

What's my favorite pastime you ask? Absorbing the plot of a show I've never watched via fanfiction osmosis. You think I've watched that show? Wrong bitch.

I read a convoluted fanfic, looking up characters as I went and then binge read half of AO3 and determined the plot based on what stayed consistent.

I will join every fandom and not ever interact with the source material and nobody can stop me

Oh god

I’m imagining Dazai being reborn as Tsuna and-

Imagine

You spent your entire childhood in the mafia until the one person who truly showed you what living and life meant dies and you leave

You leave and join the side of good like he asked and learn that you like it, you like helping people, you like the people who love you, not as the demon prodigy but as Dazai Osamu

And you love your life and eventually die and your happy

Only to wake up again

Now your Sawada Tsunayoshi with two not so great parents but what’s new

You grow up again, poking at the feral bird who flitters around the town because why not and try to have a normal, happy life, because that’s what your friends (family) would want for you

And this tiny little thing shows up at your door claiming to be the worlds greatest hitman and tells you, you’re going to be a mafia don

(Reborn is very confused as to why his bew student immediately throws himself out a window the second he says mafia but he’s gonna figure it out)

This has to end up with Daz-suna deciding that if he can't get out of this he's going to make Reborn's life a living hell, eventually take over Vongola, and then immediately use it to recreate the ADA.

Every interaction between Daz-suna and Reborn ends up being a Troll Off because Reborn might be a funko pop from hell but Dazai was a Troll King.

Ok, so you know all those cross over fics where one of the bats is undercover as neal caffrey, right?

So the idea is El gets kidnapped by someone and it’s being live streamed to the fbi people and neal!tim says to peter something along the lines of “i can do something to save el, but you’re not going to like it, so I just need a yes or no. Do you trust me peter?” And peter takes a long moment before saying “ i trust you neal”

so tim is like “bet, ima step out to make a reallly quick phone call then ima be right back”. And tim calls jason and is like “ can you go rescue my friend please” and jason agrees cuz he’s not doing anything and is in the area, so like 20 minutes later the goddamm red hood shows up at whatever wearhouse or basement el is in and beats up her kiddnapers and looks into the camera and is like “ ive done my part baby bird, ill be sure to get what im owed” or some shit cuz he’s dramatic.

So obviously peter and el and the rest of the fbi people freak out cuz “holy shit thats the fucking red hood!!” and “neal what the fuck do you owe him???!!?”

and jason just wants tim to take a nap, eat a proper meal and watch all three legally blonde movies with him or some dumb brotherly bonding shit like that.

If someone writes this please tell me :)))))



I read a lotttt of the White Collar is [insert Batfamily character] fics. Except I'm obsessed with Jason Todd so I only read about him. And I love em, but it's funny because Jason is nothing like Neal, and Dick would make so much more sense. But the image of this man who is built like a fridge, and has a bunch of scars as Neal, is so ridiculous. I can't stop reading it.

Like I want you guys to imagine it for a moment. It's Neal except he's absolutely ripped and littered with scars and his voice is deeper than the Mariana Trench.

Neal: *yells across the room* Peter!

Peter: *gets a heart attack from the sudden rumble that emanated through the room*

Jones: Hey, wanna spar?

Neal: *takes off shirt*

Jones: Okay, nevermind.

Crew: *Talking about past cases*

Diana: I got this gnarly scar from that one time– *looks at Neal*

Neal: *sits innocently as though there aren't healed gashes running across his body* what?

Diana: HOW?

Neal: Looking a little worse for wear there Peter, must be getting old. *cheeky grin*

Peter: *staring at his white tuft of hair* Mhmm. I'm getting old.

Keller: *fists up, ready to fight*

Neal: *takes off suit coat*

Keller: okay, nevermind.

Jones: *laughs because same*

Some rando: Why does a person like you follow someone like Sawada?

Hibari, casually: Sawada is physically capable of destroying all life on planet earth in a matter of seconds.

The rando:...

Hibari: Fortunately for the human species, he is not psychologically capable of doing so.

Hibari: I'm working on it. He'll get there someday.

The rando: ... wait what