Dear Professor,

Dear Professor,

did you like the way i started this transmission? Apparently, this is the way humans send transmissions, too, ha-ha (this is the textual form of a human “laugh” to express friendliness. Awesome, right?)

My trip to Earth has been great so far! Though humans are strange, ugly, and hairless, they are not all bad! One human gave me a glass container filled with the highly poisonous substance known as H2O. It was, according to them, an altruistic gesture. Perhaps it is in their culture to give eachother deadly substances. I will have to look into it further.

One thing I have noticed during my stay here is that humans are not very logical. They often make rash decisions without thinking things through, or they DO think things through but make the less logical choice anyway. Have you ever seen this during your studies of humans?

Apparently, this is a prominent problem with humans. Despite being taught the right choices, they make the wrong ones anyway even knowing that it is wrong. For example, did you know humans breathe in deadly chemicals because it makes them feel pleasure? They know its deadly, they are told plenty of times throughout their developmental years, and yet they choose to inhale these poisonous fumes anyway.

I wonder what would cause them to do that? Maybe this kind of behavior can explain some of their other strange habits that we see when they stay on our ships. Perhaps humans are not as unintelligent as we once thought, but simply impulsive?

My stay here on Earth is going to wrap up (it’s a human term; it means to end) in a few days, but perhaps on my next trip I will look into this matter further.

Sincerely,

Student

Saw a post like this with negative outlook so I asked for it to be fixed

Imagine a bee rn in a hive muttering "the beekeeper is not real because he is not intervening or helping me at all with this disastrous relationship I have with another bee". now imagine that's you talking about the good lord. now imagine a dog with a propeller hat on

Humans are space NANNYs

So it’s no surprise that humans adore animals and will keep them as pets. To aliens this isn’t a new concept as they do this too with their own planets animals. Some aliens even collect animals from other planets if they’re looking for something a tad more ‘exotic’ but are only allowed to adopt once they pass a knowledge test (how to care for it).

Even animals on earth form adoptive relationships with animals of their own kind and even some other animals !

But when humans instinctively started taking care of other alien babys and animals especially trying to pack bond with the deadly ones it started turning heads.

Human? Why are you trying to pet the giant fire breathing lizard?

Human? What’s under your shirt. ARE THOSE EGGS? PUT THEM BACK. *que chase*

Many aliens on board the giant ship have leaned into letting the human passengers care for the younger ones and animals aboard the vessel. It’s just sometimes the humans don’t know how to say no and maybe possibly take on a little too much work insisting it’s fine, as they slowly sink in a pile of living fluff, scales and wrinkles of all sorts.

It’s not until a door bursts open with animals and children running and causing chaos that they learn the limit the amount of baby’s the humans get to play with all at once. Especially since the humans seem to run and cause just as much chaos along side the ones they’re supposed to be monitoring.

Stabby the roomba has hid under a shelf in fear

Master list