The Big Bad Had Been Sealed For A Thousand Years And Finally Was Released. Turns Out, A Thousand Years

The big bad had been sealed for a thousand years and finally was released. Turns out, a thousand years of solitary confinement isn’t great psychologically.

i was told to upload these so i cleaned them up and here they are

Human eating something spicy: Good food

Cybertronian: You're actively burning and poisoning yourself. Stop eating that

Human: Mmm capsaicin

Cybertronian: I said stop eating that!

Chilis are too obvious and kind to them. Of course, the space aliens are highly concerned by spice challenges, especially with humans attempting to breed hotter, spicier peppers... as a fun hobby.

("Isn't capsaicin the active ingredient in pepper spray?" "Yes. But people enjoy eating spicy food.")

Cybertronians would be blown away by how much agriculture transformed human civilizations... as well as be boggled between humans' ability to endure extreme conditions, yet be so damn bodily fragile and inefficient.

Genetics have never looked so wild in the botanical community. Like yes, space alien, many vegetables are related. It's dependent on the area of concentration to painfully cultivate it for hundreds to thousands of years because some regions wanted something more leafy, while others focused on the pods or roots.

And yes, space alien, many cultivated foods had derived from poisonous origins. Animals (including humans) figured to circumvent it through evolutionary adaptations or utilizing methods to draw out the toxins.

Cybertronians can be impressed by how humans managed to figure that out in the countless preparation and cooking processes in different cuisines across various cultures... yet slap their helms because their funky, little squishy is having so many health issues because of the lack of Vitamin D or a Candida infection, so Cybertronians will unironically go "touch grass" with their assigned/favorite human.

(Cue confused Cybertronian noises when their human explains sunscreen and cancer.)

And fungi, like mushrooms, are a mindfuck within itself as a kingdom to both Cybertronians and humans.

This isn't delving into how other Earth organic species can't consume certain human foods due to toxicity, like dogs and chocolate.

Optimus: Today I realized I’m old.

Ratchet: What happened?

Optimus: I fell at the mess hall and instead of laughing, Bumblebee came running to see if I was okay.

Ratchet: …

Optimus: I saw the fear in his eyes

Megatron: That's it! Soundwave cut the internet!

Vehicon: Please no! I have family to fed!

Megatron:.. What?

Vehicon: My neopets are starving!

Oh my goodness.

Megatron turning off the internet: You've lost internet rights.

Every Vehicon in a ten mile radius: *Inconsolable sobbing*

Starscream from his room: FRAG I WAS IN A RANKED MATCH!

Knockout from the medical bay: NO! THEY WERE ABOUT TO FINISH RENOVATING THE HOUSE!

Breakdown: *Wailing over his frozen episode of My Little Pony*

Soundwave: *Doing just fine in his room with his hotspot*

Megatron: ...

Megatron: Guys, you all have a problem.

Every hero team up featuring all might: